A life after CSI
by Fleppy85
Summary: After breaking down at work Sara gets send away by her doctor and ends on a ranch. To her surprise the owner of the ranch is Sofia, who left Las Vegas a while ago.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue (Sunday)**

Being a workaholic Sara took almost no days off. She had work seven days a week, not only one week in a row, there were months she had not more than one day off. She never complained. She needed her work, she needed to find the bad boys, needed to bring justice to victims, needed the adrenalin of catching a killer for her well-being. At least she thought that. For so many years it had held her up, had made her leave her house every afternoon to work for ten, twelve, sixteen hours. It was her life, she didn't want it in any other way.

She was smart, she knew what she did. What she didn't think of was, that her mind needed all the work but her body needed a rest. The early morning her legs just disappear under her body, the world turned black and she couldn't remember how she hit the ground, how the ambulance brought her to hospital and she slept for over a day, all those memories weren't in her mind. She knew all these had happened because many people told her.

Unfortunately she was not only smart she was also stubborn. Working less would mean more time to think, to miss Grissom, to think about her past. As soon as she was out of hospital she started to work the same way like before. Double shifts, no days off, no time for herself. She didn't feel good when she was at home.

The second time the world went black and she woke up in hospital was enough for her boss. Ecklie, never a friend of Sara, had told her, she has to take a few weeks off, she was obviously not in a condition to work and if she would dare to come to work within the next three months he would fire her. It was less his concern than more the order of her doctors that made him say this. Three months. It looked like Sara had really overdone it this time.

Now she had tine to visit her husband in Paris. Grissom was still busy teaching and was the head of a science project for the French government, she knew he had barely time. She could join the science team, she was good enough. The problem was, she didn't want to work as a scientist in a dry and boring lab, she wanted to be out in the fields, wanted to do something for the people, something they could see and understand.

Her doctor in hospital advised her to go away for a few weeks, to relax, see something new and maybe learn a new skill. Her body and mind need this break and by learning something new, something that didn't exhaust her, she wouldn't feel like wasting time and got her attention to something new. As a stubborn person she refused to think about this first, two days later she had to admit he was right and she started to think what she wanted to do. There were a lot of things she wanted to do , a lot of things she wanted to learn, most of them had something to do with her job as a CSI. Only one thing was absolutely free from CSI, Las Vegas and work: horseback ridding.

She wanted to learn how to ride a horse. This would give her the opportunity to be outside, to learn a new skill, it involved animals and a lot of freedom and piece. When you ride with your horse through the forest, the desert or a meadow, you and the horse are alone. Nobody bothers you, nobody is getting your attention away from the things you want to concentrate on. At the same time you couldn't drift away too far because you need to keep control over the horse. The perfect thing for Sara to relax.

First she had thought of going to the Yosemite, Kings Canyon or Sequoia National park, they were close and easy to reach. Then she realized it wasn't good to go somewhere where she had been before. It was too easy to go back to Vegas from these places too. One little article in the newspaper, a short bulletin on the news about a big crime in Las Vegas and Sara would be back, would start to investigate, no matter if Ecklie told her to stay away or not.

More because he was in the room while Sara was thinking about a good destination than really wanting an opinion of the doctor, she asked him what he thought would be a good destination. The doctor thought for a few seconds before he suggested Wyoming. He knew about a ranch close to the Grand Teton National Park. Because it was close to the famous Yellow Stone National Park most people only paid a short visit to the park and Sara could visit both parks if she felt like.

The location sounded interesting, Sara started to research the ranch in the internet. It was less the location at the end that helped her to make a decision than the fact that the ranch had only space for eight guests and the ridding stuff was not the main part of it. It had ridding horse but most of their horses weren't for riding. They had been rescued from the slaughter, a dozen wild mustangs lived further away from the ranch. It seemed like this place wasn't about making money, it was about saving horses and bring people closer to horses.

Leaving her apartment to a subtenant, packed with two suitcases, no books and magazines about crime but a travel book and a guide about horses and horseback ridding she got into her car and started to drive to Wyoming. For the long distance she had planed two over night stops to arrive refreshed and not overtired. The first sign that she had learnt something?

It was early afternoon when she stopped in front of the ranch. For half a mile there had been a five foot fence on the left and right side of the unsealed road. Now it ended in a parking lot in front of the two level wooden house. To the left were six little bungalows, one of them should be hers and to the right was a huge barn. In front of the ranch house on the veranda were some cats sitting in the sun, two dogs were barking behind the fence and Sofia could see two horses that weren't interested in her at all. Birds were singing, another horse was nickering somewhere. There were no people calling, no cars driving, no light, music or any other sound than the sound of animals. This was truly a place to relax.

"Hi." A young man came from out of the blue. He had dark brown skin, dark brown eyes and short black hair. "I'm Jamie."

"Sara."

"Nice to meet you. You can leave your car there."

"Perfect." She wanted to get her suitcases.

"Don't bother I'll bring them to your room. Are you very tired or would you like to see the place first?"

"I drove four five hours I can need a little walk."

"Thought so." He smiled. "Please follow me." He walked around the ranch to the barn. Behind the buildings was nothing but meadow and meadow and meadow. In the distance Sara could see the Rocky Mountains, in that direction had to be the Grand Teton National Park. Not within walking distance but nothing was in walking distance here. She hadn't seen another house for almost half an hour and doubted that in other direction was a bigger place. The last road sign had told her a town was ten miles away and that was the closed. She had to go there for shopping and petrol later.

"It's so quiet here."

"Is that a good or a bad thing for you?" He smiled.

"Very good. After all this time in Vegas I will enjoy a quiet place. No car horns, no people yelling in front of my window, no neon light. I bet the nights here are dark."

"They are. Beside the moon and the stars."

"Wonderful. Sounds like heaven to me." Sara looked at a cat that was sitting on a pole of a fence, cleaning itself and enjoying the sunshine. She wouldn't mind to do the same. Not sitting on a pole but enjoying the sunshine. When was the last time she had sit outside in the sun with nothing more than a good book? Must be years ago.

"See the person over there?" Jamie had opened the gate and guided Sofia on a meadow.

"Yes." There was somebody standing in a herd of six or seven horses.

"Go there and you'll be shown everything. I'll take care of your suitcase and fix you a cold drink."

"I think I'll need one when I'm back. Thanks you." Sara smiled. When everybody was as friendly and polite as this young man it was a nice place. A dog came to her. Sara stopped to let - what looked like a mix of German Shepard, Retriever and Husky – do the last steps. The light brown dog with standing sharp ears and blue eyes sniffed her hand and pants to came to the conclusion that she was no threat and walked away.

"Excuse me." Sara called out when she was only a few yards away from the person. All she could see right now was a pair of blue jeans hidden behind a horse.

"Since when does Sara Sidle excuse herself?"

Sara almost dropped her sunglasses. This person knew her. And she knew this voice too. A head with long blond hair appeared behind a horse.

"Sofia?" What the hell was the detective doing here? Sara had gone away from Las Vegas in the wilderness to meet an old colleague? That had to be a crazy dream, no coincidence could be like this.

"Shocked?" The blond laughed and walked around the horse after she had petted it.

"Surprised."

"Liar. You're horrified."

"You knew I would come here?" Sofia wasn't surprised a bit. It was obvious she had known about Sara's arrival and was prepared.

"Sure I took your booking."

"It's your place?"

"Yes."

"I thought you're a detective."

"I thought you're a workaholic who doesn't need a vacation."

"They told me I've to take some time off or I'll lose my job."

"Let me guess: you worked until your body was so exhausted that it collapsed. You're a stubborn person, didn't listen to this alarm signal, went on working, collapsed a second time and they made the decision you'd do the same again if they don't stop you."

"Stop scaring me." How could Sofia possible know all these things? It was impossible that she knew Sara that good.

"The doctor in hospital sent you here."

"He suggested this place…do you know him?"

"Yes, a cousin of mine. He knows what I do here and knows this a place to relax. He called me to tell me he had suggested my farm to a patient. I got your booking and knew you had to be this patient." Sofia stopped in front of Sara and looked at her. "You haven't really changed, only that you look tired but that's why you're here. To get fit again and make some space in your head for something else than cases."

"You are also looking the same. Looks like being a horse whisperer suits you good."

"I don't whisper to the horse, I talk to them like I talk to you. Want a look around?"

"Sure, that's why I was sent here."

"Okay let me introduce you to my lovely lady." Sofia whistled once. The head of a brown horse got up and the horse came to them. It stopped in front of Sofia and pushed it's head softly to Sofia's arm.

"Hey beauty, thanks for coming here. Let me introduce you to my colleague from Las Vegas. That's Sara, she is a CSI and needs a time out." Sofia kissed the nostril of the horse that nickered quietly.

"Yes she'll be a lovely company." Sofia left her hand on the shoulder of the horse and turned to Sara. "Sara, that's Kirundi, the most special horse on the ranch."

"Hello Kirundi. You've a nice name." Sara petted the horse carefully.

"It's the Central African Word for love."

"A special name for a special horse."

"Exactly. Want a ride?"

"Uhm…I can't ride that's why I'm here."

"Do you think you can hold your balance when the horse only walks?"

"Without a saddle?"

"Yes."

"If I fall you've to call your cousin."

"He wanted to come up anyway. Come on." Sofia offered her hands as a help to get on Kirundi.

"I thought she is special?"

"Aren't you special too?" Sofia simply asked back.

"According to your cousin special stubborn."

"I'll not comment that. Come on don't be a poor sport."

"Okay." Sara sighed. Why not? Her left foot on Sofia's hands, her left arm grabbing the mane she got pushed on top of Kirundi.

"Perfect. Just hold on to her mane and try to be comfy with her steps. Come on Kirundi, we'll have a little walk." Sofia got a thin rope from around her waist that had been over the belt, knot it to the halter of the horse next to her. With one jump she was on top of the horse.

"Don't be afraid, Kirundi will come with me, you'll be safe. Let's have a look around." Sofia let her horse walk away from the herd and Kirundi really followed her. It was a strange feeling for Sara to sit on a horse, no saddle, nothing to guide the horse, nothing to hold on beside the mane.

"Relax."

"I try to."

"She won't hurt you, she feels you're scared and she's very careful." Sofia let her horse walk next to them.

"As long as she won't start running I'll be fine."

"She won't. Have you been horseback ridding before?"

"No…is that a problem?"

"Not at all. I ask that to find out what horse I'll give you. You'll have the same horse the whole time you can both get used to each other. You'll stay two weeks, that a long time we'll need to find a horse for you that will suit you. What would you like to learn?"

"How not to fall down."

"That's what everybody wants. We do a little bit of western style, but most of the times we teach the basic and have some rides through the area. There's a full day ride every week for everybody who keep himself in the saddle. Nothing challenging, only six hours on the horse, we ride to the Grand Teton National Park, have lunch at a lake and ride back. You can just walk, trot or canter how it suits you best. We've some parts of the tour you can walk up straight if you don't like it fast and for others there's a little detour for a canter and we'll all meet at the same point to continue the ride together after a few minutes."

"Sounds good. I take the slow route."

"No problem at all. Would you like to try a trot or canter later?"

"When I feel safe, yes."

"We have the western style saddles, you can hold on to them. Seeing you on Kirundi without anything I see you can hold your balance. A very good start.I think in a few days and you'll be fine without worrying of falling down. If you do fall try not to be tensed."

"Very funny. How you do relax when you fall?"

"Like this." Sofia let herself fall down the horse. A scream escaped from Sara's lips while the horses just stopped. Kirundi got her head down and sniffed on Sofia's back to make her get up again.

"Nothing happened." The blonde got up, petted Kirundi and her horse. "If you want you can learn how to fall the right way."

"I don't want broken bones."

"You won't break your bones. Do you have a swim suit with you?"

"Somewhere in my suitcases yes."

"Perfect. I'll take you up the lake, the perfect place to learn how to fall without fear. You'll be in water, won't hurt yourself and lose some of the fear of falling." Sofia guided their horses to the barn. "We've got twelve ridding horses here, no more than eight guests in a group and two guides. The ridding horses are on the meadows here, there are around two dozen others horses out. One herd of mustang and around a dozen horses we got from the slaughter, Some of them were racing horses or sport horses, got ill and their owner sent them to the slaughter because they couldn't use the horse for their needs anymore. We've one horse with a prosthetic limb. It lost a leg in an accident and was supposed to end up as dog food but we could safe it. You can't ride on it but it enjoys it's life. There are six ponies, most of them from other horse riding centers that needs them fit for long days and they got too old. Here they'll have a short day, days off and can live until they die the natural way."

"So here are around forty horses and ponies."

"Yes. Forty-four. Kirundi, Libertad, Espérance and Xin. Love, Freedom, Hope and Trust, the horses for the guides."

"And I'm allowed to sit on a guide horse."

"She follows me everywhere it's the easiest way for you."

"You trained her well."

"Got her four years ago when she was two. It was love at first sight. I bought her as my horse, two years alter we started to break her in. Since last summer she's with me when I'm on tours. She knows all the ways, she could walk there without me. And when I call her she comes straight to me. Means if I tell her to stay there and ride away you'll be caught here."

"Not funny. Beside that I'd climb down. Or do your dogs bite me when I leave a horse?"

"You met Churchill, did you feel threaten?"

"Churchill?" Sara had to laugh. What an unusual name for a dog.

"Yes."

"He has wonderful blue eyes."

"Unfortunately he's blind."

"Oh." Sara didn't see that. "How did that happen?"

"I've no idea. Got him from the pet shelter, they found him blind in front of their door. I got all six dogs from there and all the cats too. They were all supposed to get killed because nobody wanted them. We don't kill people when nobody wants them, why do that with animals?"

"I can't tell you that. So you've more a huge animal shelter than a ranch for horseback riding."

"Both. I try to show people there's no need to get an expensive fashion pet, all the poor animals in shelters are full of great character and really appreciate it when you give them a second chance. I think everybody deserves a second chance."

"Unusual words for a detective. You want to let everybody go who didn't committed a crime before?"

"I'm not a detective anymore, Sara and truth to be told, I don't miss not to be one."

"When did you stop working as one?"

"When I left Vegas." Which was right after Sara was found in the desert. Almost four years ago. At least Sara couldn't remember seeing Sofia after she got taken to hospital.

"How come you ended up here? Doing this?"

"I loved horses all my life and I wanted to be somewhere you don't read more crime news in the newspaper than anything else. Nobody is around, the closest town is ten miles, there are around a thousand people living, the next bigger city you need to drive a few hours. All you have here is nature, animals and some hiker. I bought this place and started to create something I had dreamed of all my life. I don't regret it, I love it every day."

"You look happy here."

"I hope we can make you look happy too." Sofia stopped her horse in front of the gate. They were back at the gate Sara had entered the meadow. Sofia took the rope off the halter and let her horse walk away.

"Do you need a hand?"

"I think I can manage it. Down is easier than up."

"Lean forward, get your right leg over her back and slip down slowly. That's the nicest way for both of you." Sara did what she was told and found herself sitting on the ground. Somehow her legs weren't there when she landed on the ground and made it straight to the ground.

"Almost perfect." Sofia offered her a hand and pulled up on her foot. "Legs gone?"

"Yeah."

"Happens sometimes. Come on I'll show you your room I think you want something cold to drink."

"Jamie said he wanted to put something in the room."

"Then there'll be something." They left the meadow and walked around the barn back to the front of the ranch. A tall young man with longish dark blond hair just left a car. A new guest? Sara had no idea if they took people only on one day a week or daily.

"Sara meet Jon. Jon that's Sara."

"You used to work together, right?" The man said with an easy smile and shook Sara's hand.

"How do you know?"

"I saw some photos of the Vegas time."

"Oh. You work here?"

"Kind of. She makes me work most times. I was shopping."

"Perfect. Thanks. Jamie is suppose to start the barbeque in an hour. We need around a dozen steaks and get the vegetarian steaks and the tofu burger out too."

"We've a vegetarian here?"

"Right in front of you." Sofia smiled. She hadn't forgotten that Sara was a vegetarian.

"You miss a great steak."

"Maybe but for that a cow can live."

"I hope you're right and that not anybody else ate your cow. Would you like to have corncob?"

"Sure."

"I'll tell Jamie." He turned to Sofia again. "Cat called, she asks if it's okay if she stays in town until after dinner."

"Sure."

"I think she has a date, you should ask her some questions when she's home."

"You can do that I'll wait until she talks to me."

"You're too soft as a mom."

"You benefit from that every day."

"Me? Never." He smiled and left them.

"A mom?" Sara was sure she misunderstood there something. Sofia couldn't be a mom. Okay, of course she could but not of a girl who was having a date and came home alone after dinner. This daughter had to be at least…how old were they nowadays when they had dates? Fourteen? Fifteen? Sixteen?

"Yes."

"How…I mean, this sounded like your daughter is a little bit older than four years, the time I saw you last and you didn't have any children then."

"No I didn't and yes, Cat is sixteen. Come on in." No more explanations, Sofia walked to the ranch building.

"Isn't my room in one of the bungalows?" That was what Sara had booked.

"I'm sure your suitcases are in here or do you prefer a bungalow?"

"If I can live in a ranch house, like J.R. Ewing, I take the house." Sara laughed and followed Sofia. Inside everything was kept in wooden style, a big staircase was next to the door.

"You're room is on the left." Sofia pointed to a door. "Would you care for a cold beer?"

"I drove three days, it was hot and I didn't have a cold beer I'm dying for it."

"Okay." The blond smiled, guided Sara in a big kitchen, opened a fridge, got two bottles out walked out on a veranda. From here they could see the horses and sit on a garden hammock with their beer.

"Am I the only guest? I haven't seen anybody around."

"They are on a ride and will be back in time for the barbeque."

"Okay. I thought I'm the only one and you didn't tell me to surprise me, mom." Sara wanted to know a little bit more about Sofia being a mother. At least she would give this topic another try, if Sofia made it clear she didn't want to talk about it, Sara would accept it.

"Yes I'm a mother. I've a daughter and three sons."

"Wow." The blonde seemed to be alright with this topic now. A soft smile caress her mouth and there was the certain shine of happiness in her eyes, you saw in the eyes of proud parents all the time they talked about their children.

"Patrick is two, Cat is sixteen, you met Jamie, he's eighteen and Jon is twenty-one. Not a child anymore but he stays anyway."

"He is your son?"

"Yes. When I bought this place four years ago I found a young man in the barn. A runaway. He was seventeen, had only half a year to stay in a foster home but ran away, like he did a few times before. He knew when they got him he would end up in jail for running away and some petty thefts to keep himself alive. I used some of my influence and a lot of the name of my mother and became his foster mom. He never ran again."

"He stays since four years? You must be a good mother."

"He likes animals, he likes what I do, I don't try to force him into something. He's free to leave whenever he wants, like any other child is. He wants to stay, works here with me.

Same with Jamie. I had him over two years ago, together with Cat. They both were taken here for a job during the holidays by their foster home. Thought it could be a good lesson for them, taking responsibilities for animals. Jamie was very shy, he barely talked, tried to avoid people but he was wonderful around the dogs and cats. They simply love him. Cat was hooked up with the horses, we had a very sick mustang at that time and she spend a few weeks her nights in the barn to watch over the horse, same Jamie. They cared more for the horse than for anything else. Now it's in the herd, healthy and happy. I made the decision that if they wanted too, they could stay. So I got my next two children. At that time I was pregnant that's how we got Patrick and the family was complete."

"You're married?" That surprised Sara almost more than the four children. She had no idea why, there was nothing unusual of Sofia being a wife.

"No. The relationship ended last year, Patrick's father moved to Sacramento. We're in contact like friends, that's it. This isn't the perfect place to find Mister Right. As far as I can see you found your Mister Right. I assume it's Grissom." Sofia had heard about Sara and Grissom when she was helping looking for Sara. It was her last case as a detective in Las Vegas, after that she left.

"Ye I married Grissom."

"Why isn't he here?"

"He's in France, busy teaching and working a science project for the French government. He has no time."

"Ouch." Sofia took a sip of her beer, giving Sara some time to think about if and what she wanted to say next.

"A long distance relationship is possible. it worked out fine last year…after my second break down I wished he had come over but he was too busy. I told him I don't think this marriage makes sense when he's not there when his wife needs him most. He sent a flight ticket to Paris." Sara laughed bitter. "Being alone in Paris doesn't chance anything of being alone at all. He has no time, no matter if I'm in the US or France. Here I can work – as soon as I had enough holidays and get my job back. I've no idea where I am with my marriage, what will happen but I'll find out." She was surprised she could tell Sofia that so easily. It had taken her some hours with her therapist to talk about her marriage. Somehow things seemed to be easier here. It was a comfortable place, she felt good sitting in the evening sun and having a cold beer. Better than laying on a couch. And after Sofia opened up to her, told her some very private things, she felt better telling the blonde something of her private life.


	2. Chapter 2

After a shower Sara let herself fall on the bed. She had booked a bungalow, a thirty square feet room with a kitchenette and bathroom, this was a room the same size but without a kitchenette because Sara didn't need one. Sofia had made the decision her old colleague would stay with the family and could use the family kitchen. It felt strange first but somehow Sara was happy that she wasn't treated like an ordinary guest. Maybe it was good that she was involved with a whole family to stop her mind from thinking too much. She could have her private time in her room but she had to meet people for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Sofia owned the place where Sara wanted to have a break. So crazy. Well not that crazy anymore after Sara knew the doctor was Sofia's cousin. He wanted to give her business a little booze, thought maybe that Sara and Sofia knew each other and wanted to catch up on good old times. Did she? Their last case together hadn't been a nice one, Sara almost died in the desert, Sofia had been there when she was found. The detective and Nick found her thanks to the mirror she took with her.

So far it had been nice to see the blonde again. The little excursion about the ranch had been interesting and Sara's first riding experience wasn't too bad if you left the end out.

A knock on the door got her out of her thoughts.

"Come in."

The door opened. Instead of Sofia her oldest son was standing there.

"Hi." Sara got up.

"Sorry to wake you up, dinner is almost ready."

"Thanks. I wasn't sleeping." She slipped into her shoes. "And who is that?" He held a toddler on his arm and another child was hiding behind his leg.

"This young gentleman is Patrick, my little brother. The shy guy down there is Kieran, my son."

"You're married?"

"No, he's from the relationship with my ex girlfriend who thought two years ago she needs to be a star and left us to get famous in Los Angeles. So far I haven't seen her in a movie or a TV show. But we cope without her, don't we Kieran? We're tough guys."

"Dad?"

"Come on, you're not that shy. That's Sara, she's a friend of grandma. Say hello to her."

Sara bent down to be on the same level like the boy. His blond hair was short and messed up. He reminded her of a baby version of Greg.

"Hello Kieran."

"Hi."

"Give him a day and he'll be not that shy anymore. You should think he's used to see strangers but he's still shy. Kieran, go out and have a look what uncle Jamie is doing. Run." With one last look at Sara he turned and ran away.

"Four children and a grandson, Sofia had been busy. Who old is Kieran?"

"Three. Yeah she was shocked when I told her she'll be a grandmother soon. Not even forty and already a grandmother. That what happens when you're only fifteen years older than your son, you'll be a young grandmother."

"Does he call her grandmother?"

"Yes. And she hates it."

"I thought so." Sara laughed and looked at Patrick. "You're younger than your nephew. Sofia's youngest son is younger than her grandson. That's what I cal unusual."

"We're not a usual family." He opened the door for her.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Let's have dinner, Jamie is a great cook and he made some salad and fresh bread. You can meet the other guests, there are four others at the moment. A couple and two friends. Tomorrow will a man arrive, we wanted to put him in the bungalow next to yours but since you live with us he has to be alone."

"I'm married." Sara lifted her hand where her golden ring was.

"Your husband should be here with you."

"I can give you his number and you tell him. I hope you're fluent in French."

"No I'm not."

"In that case we won't talk to him and he has no time anyway."

"He is in France?"

"Yes."

"I heard it's a wonderful country, a lot history, art, beautiful landscape and exciting coasts. But it should be nothing compare to your wife."

"It's less the country than the work."

"What is his job?"

"He used to work as a CSI…"

"Grissom."

"Sofia told you about him."

"Yes she told me about your colleagues one evening when she was cleaning up old paper and photos. That's why I knew who you are. She said when she left Vegas it was fresh for the team that you and Grissom were a couple. Looks like it had worked out, a relationship with a colleague."

"Worked out? Well, I'm here, he's lost in France. It's a long distance relationship for over a year and I'm not that happy with it to be honest. I visited him a few times in France, he never came over. Now he has even no time for me if I'd fly over."

"Mom said he is a smart man, what you tell me sounds like he's rather stupid."

"He's one of the best scientist in the world." Calling Grissom stupid was wrong. He was way up too smart to be called stupid.

"I don't doubt that. Leaving your wife behind is stupid, no matter how smart you are. You can work anywhere, you can live anywhere but there's only one wife and your wife should be more important than anything else. If I had to choose between my family and a job, I'd pick the family. Family is unique, work isn't." He stepped aside and let Sofia see a little campfire. Jamie and Sofia were there, together with four other adults and Kieran.

"A campfire in the sunset, is that a wild west romance?"

"It's your standard dinner for the next two weeks. Don't worry the food will change, most times we sit here eating anything, only on the weekends, when there was the full day ride, we have a real barbeque. Jamie cooks every night a dish from another country."

"He's a cook?"

"He had cooking in school, he never went somewhere to learn it proper. Mom told him to do so, he refused. He wants to be here, wants to help her. We all want. She helped us when nobody else was there for us, she believed in us when everybody had given up on us and she gave us a future when everybody blamed us for our past. It's what I told you about family, it's the most important thing in life."

"Refreshed?" Sofia got up and took Patrick in her arms.

"Yes. This looks great."

"Thanks, I've very talented children. Go and get your dinner, Pat." She let her son down and he walked to his older brother. Sofia smiled a bit when her eyes followed her son.

"Let me introduce you to the others. Guy, we've a new cowgirl. That's Sara from Las Vegas. Sara these are George and Laura from New York, they're here for three weeks, have another two to go and these Julia and Roberta from Indiana. They're here for two weeks and half of their time is over today."

"Unfortunately." Julia said. "How much time do you have?"

"Two weeks."

"You'll be amazed how fast the time will run. It feels like we arrived yesterday and not last week. If we could have another week off we'd stay longer."

"I took your booking for autumn." Jon smiled.

"You're the best. Will you come with us tomorrow? The morning ride?"

"Yes, I'll be up at five with you."

"Five?" Sara was shocked. Was she supposed to get up that early too? She thought this was a holiday and not a drill camp.

"We offer a sunrise ride twice a week, five is the latest we can leave. You don't have to join it…"

"Do it! We missed the first one, had the one last time and we'll have the tomorrow too. It's magnificent to see the sunset here." George said. "You can sleep in the next mornings, don't miss out that ride."

"I never been on a horse before."

"That won't be a problem, I'll take care of you." Jon promised.

"If I break my neck on the first day…"

"You can stay another two weeks for free."

"I'll have a few weeks in hospital. I had that a few days ago, your…whatever the cousin of your mother is, sent me here."

"A smart man."

"He thinks for the family."

"That's what family is for, being there for each other, working for each other. You'll join us or you want to start with a riding lesson later in the morning?"

"Do I have another choice than joining you if everybody tells me I'll miss out something beautiful when I stay in bed?"

"No you don't." Roberts grinned. "Not if you don't want to hate yourself."

"Did you pick a horse for Saraa, mom?"

"Yes Jon I did." Sofia smiled. "I think she'll be perfect with Caza."

"Hold on a second…I know that word even my Spanish isn't that good…I'm a beginner. I don't want a caza, I want something calm."

"You'll be fine." Sofia laughed.

"You won't get a cent if I break my neck because you gave me a trouble maker."

"A trouble maker fits perfect to you if I remember right."

"You know each other?" Laura asked.

"Yeah we used to work together years ago. If I had known Sofia is here and wants to kill me, I had stayed in Vegas."

"You should trust me, Sara. You'll be fine and Jon will take care. Or do you want me to join you too?"

"I think I'm better without you. Caza."

"She worries." Jon laughed. "Hey Kieran, be a lovely boy and get Sara her horse over, will you?"

The boy nodded and left the fire.

"You can't let your son get a horse called Caza."

"Kieran grows up with the horses he knows what to do."

"Give her something to eat that might calm her down." Jamie came with a plate to Sofia. "The only vegetarian here gets service. All the others, dinner is open. Grab what you like, we've steaks, sausages, salads and bread."

"Did you make your Mexican bread again?" George asked.

"Yes."

"You need to try that, Sara, it's fresh made bread with red pepper, corn and chili. So great. Do we get that for the ride tomorrow?"

"No you'll get something else, a breakfast bread."

"You'll make something great for us, no doubt. This man is better than most star chefs in New York because he cooks with his heart."

"Thanks." Jamie flushed a little bit.

"Look there's Kieran with Caza." Sara turned and saw the three year old one with a horse behind him on a rope. Her horse was black and white and followed the boy without any trouble.

"Thanks Kieran." Sofia got up and took the horse. "Sara, that's Caza, she's twelve, used to be a racing horse. When she got older her owner didn't want her anymore, we got her from the slaughter. She's perfectly healthy, a really nice horse and tame. She won't make you any trouble."

"A former racing horse?"

"Most of the riding horses are former racing horses. They get like seven or eight and they're too slow for the sport. No wins means no money means the horse is useless. She's a Quarter Horse, if you tell her to run you'll win every race on a quarter mile."

"I prefer to walk."

"Caza will walk, you'll sit on her and enjoy the morning sun. She's perfect for a beginner. You won't scare Sara, will you?" Sofia petted the horse and fed it a carrot. "She said she'll be gentle. Will you give her a chance?"

"Yes." Sara sighed. She had no other choice than believe Sara that the horse was harmless. And when a three year old could get the horse from the meadow, she could manage to sit on it somehow.

"Thanks."

"I trust you because once a detective always a detective. That means you have to take care of your CSI."

"Jeez, this marriage made you whiny, Sara." Sofia laughed.

"Skeptical."

"Whatever. Come on, Caza, I'll take you back to the others. You'll have a short night, wake up time is four in the morning to be ready at five. No long parties tonight."

"Most of the others will be too tired anyway after our trip today." Laura laughed. "We gave them a good run a few times."

"Good I don't like horse parties in front of my window."

"What about some Vegas style parties? Neon light, loud music, the sound of slot machines everywhere. Don't you miss that, Sofia?"

"Being a huge gambler I can barely make it through the day without these things, Sara." Sofia laughed.

"All these years in Vegas and you don't miss it at all."

"Not that much. There are some things I miss, the noise, casinos and neon lights are nothing I miss."

"What do you miss of Vegas if not that?" George asked.

"The shows. They have some really great shows. I wouldn't mind to watch a show again, there are some good musicians on the Strip, I loved the magicians. We don't have things like that here."

"You've got…nature." Sara said. She preferred nature than Las Vegas shows, the touristy Strip and most of the shows. Somehow they were all the same, some music, comedy, magic or sport. Sure it was great to watch a show when you had an evening off and wanted to do something but she never visited a show with Grissom. First they barely had a night off, it was even more seldom that they had a night off together and when they had that, they wanted to spend time together. Alone. And not in a crowd with a few thousand other people they didn't know.

"Yes and I prefer that. I'll show you Grand Teton, it's much better than Las Vegas."

"I don't doubt that." Sara was more into nature than cities. She had lived all her life in cities, she wondered why she never worked in a small place. Probably because she couldn't be a CSI there and she needed her job like the air she breathed.


	3. Chapter 3

Day 1 (Monday)

At quarter to five Sara's alarm clock got her out of her dreams. Not wasting time for a shower she got into her clothes and walked out of the room. A bag was on the table. She had seen how Jamie had packed their breakfast in it the night before so she took it out.

They were suppose to meet at five at the barn, Jon was already there. He had saddled the horses and controlled their hooves.

"Good morning." She held the bag up. "I brought breakfast."

"Thanks, I take it." He took the bag and tied it on the saddle of his horse.

"Who is your horse?"

"Xin. It's the Chinese word for trust."

"Why can't I have trust? Sounds safer than a tomboy."

"Because Xin is wild and always wants to run. She would take you for a gallop before you had time to sit straight. Caza will give you all the time in the world and she will stop patiently for photos."

"Sounds good I've my camera with me."

"You'll need it."

"Morning." Laura and George joined them.

"Good morning, ready to go?"

"Yes. Speedy I might take a nap on you, is that alright?" Laura hugged her horse.

"Don't start without us." Still trying to dress themselves up proper Julia and Roberta came out of their bungalow.

"We won't, don't worry." Jon laughed. "Close your jumper it's cold and you won't get any hot coffee until we've a break."

"I die for coffee already." Julia took the rein and jumped on her horse.

"Want a hand?" Jon offered Sara.

"Yes, please."

"Left foot in the stirrup, hold on to the saddle and push yourself up with the right foot." He gave her a little push and Sara was on her horse. Caza hadn't moved a bit the whole time.

"Perfect." He gave her a helmet. "Now take your rein like this." Jon placed the rein in Sara's hands the way she was supposed to hold them. "Don't lift your arms when you want to stop, you'll lose your balance that way. Keep them low and pull them backwards. Caza is very sensitive, you won't have to pull hard. Leave your heels down, no need to kick her. If you want her to walk faster just touch her slightly with your heels. Okay?"

"I think so."

"You'll be fine." He smiled and got on his horse. "Okay, Sara and me will follow you guys. You know where to go, through the meadow to the gate. Wait there for us, I'll open it and we'll leave to the mountains."

"Yeehaaa." George let his horse trot before it started a canter. Laura, Julia and Roberta followed him.

"I'll keep them waiting." Sara sighed.

"They'll be fine. Come on." Before Sara could do anything Caza started to follow Jon. Surprised Sofia realized she was sitting very comfortable.

"Try to relax and don't forget to breathe."

"Yeah, sorry." Sara gasped for air. She had been so concentrated that she forgot to breathe. "How long will the ride be?"

"We'll be on top of the mountain in half an hour. There'll stay for ten minutes to watch the sunrise and after that we'll make a detour back to the ranch. It's an ninety minute ride, nothing big. We'll be back by seven, if you want to go to bed again you can do that. Otherwise you're welcome to walk around the ranch, visit the pets or drive down to town. But there won't be much open at that time. At ten you'll have your riding lessons, we've teacher coming in. Mom is trying to make her teacher, we hope she'll have it by the end of the year. Saves some money."

"Do you pay all your bills with the riding holidays?"

"No, we get a lot of donations for our rescue program. Because Jamie and me help full time and Cat whenever she has time between school and school projects we can save some money there. At the moment we get a new animals each month, we need to save. There'll be an auction of mustangs next month and we want to get down. Have you ever been to this kind of auction?"

"No."

"It's a pity that you don't stay long enough. You could join us."

"Why do you get horses from an auction?"

"Because they started to sell mustangs of the age over ten, that had been offered three times without success to slaughters. Perfectly healthy horses only because somebody thinks there're too many horses. I think in most cities are too many people, shall we start to kill all over seventy? Or all without a job for over three years?"

"People will tell you it's not the same, you can't compare an animal with a human."

"Both breathe, both feel pain and fear, both want to live."

"I'm with you, no doubt."

"Are you with me for a faster walk?"

"You mean a trot?"

"No, just a faster walk."

"Okay. She stops as soon as I pull the rein back?"

"Yes."

"Alright then let's try." Sara pressed her legs to the saddle and moved her heels very softly to Caza's body. The horse started to walk faster but she wasn't trotting. Lucky to be still on top of the horse Sara arrived at the gate where the others were waiting.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." She apologized.

"No need to be sorry." Roberta laughed. "We had some fun here too. And company. Do we take the dogs with us, Jon?"

"Yes we will." There had been two dogs around. Sara had no idea what breed they were, she was sure there were a lot of breeds inside.

Jon opened the gate, the dogs ran out first, followed by the horses.

"You guys can trot, canter or gallop but let them walk up the hill, please. If you don't want a slow morning we'll meet in twenty minutes on top of the hill, same place like last time."

"My wife owes me a second chance. I'll beat you on the horse today, honey."

"In your dreams." Laura let her horse ran, George followed her.

"They have a competition going on." Julia explained to Sara. "Up where we'll see the sunrise there're a few rings hanging on a branch. You'll take a stick and try to catch while your horse canter from the left to the ride. The last time Laura got three out of five and George only two. His ego wants revenge."

"You can join them, you don't have to wait for me."

"Oh we'll have a canter on the way back. How do you feel on Caza?"

"She's really tame and I feel safe. Even when we were faster than this. Can we try it again, Jon?"

"Sure. Give her the sign and she'll walk faster. You push her harder, she'll be faster but always remember, don't kick her."

"Never." And she meant it. She wasn't comfortable with pressing her heels softly in Caza's sides, worrying she would hurt the horse.

"You let her walk faster she'll trot. If she does that you can either way stop her or move with her movements. You need to get up and down of the saddle otherwise you'll get seasick and she'll feel like having a huge bag on her back, jumping up and down."

"Okay." Sara took a deep breath and pushed Caza a little bit harder. The trot, that looked so easy when Julia and Roberta were doing it, was awful. Sara felt like a huge bag and couldn't get the rhythm of her horse. Before she could lose her balance Jon called Caza's name and the horse got back to her walk.

"Thanks." Now she was wet of sweat after only ten seconds of trot. "I'm afraid I've no talent."

"Nonsense. It's the first time that you're on a horse, you're doing well." He was next to her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, thanks to you. I forgot what to do."

"The next time you forget tell her to stop or to slow down. She'll listen."

"I really need a teacher."

"That's why you're here. Don't worry, we'll make a Billy the kid out of you."

"For that I need to stay for the rest of life and still I'd fall as soon as the horse trot."

"Think positive otherwise there won't anything positive happen to you."

"Positive…I'm alive!"

And she survived the whole ride. It was half past seven when she came out of her room, dressed in a fresh pair of jeans and wet hair. Sofia was with Patrick and Kieran in the kitchen, having breakfast.

"Good morning. How was your ride?"

"I survived because Jon saved my life."

"Get a coffee. That's his job. Was Caza alright?"

"She's an angel, you were right. Sorry for not trusting you."

"That's alright."

"I'll need this riding lessons or I'll keep the group waiting all time. They all are able to canter only I'm slow. I feel guilty if they have to wait."

"You'll have one hour at ten, to get the basics. After that you'll feel safer. And this afternoon Cat will take the four out to the national park and I'll go with you. This way they can canter and I can use you as my student."

"Jon told me you're about to become a riding instructor."

"Yes, that safes money. How do your legs feel?"

"After the shower better."

"I think with the lesson this morning and two hours in the afternoon you'll be fine. Otherwise you can't move tomorrow."

"I'm afraid that will happen anyway. What time do you want to start the ride?"

"Around three?"

"Okay."

"I want to drive down to town after lunch, do you want to join me?"

"Do you invite all your guests into town?" Sara smiled.

"You're not an ordinary guest, Sara. You stay here, only friends and family stay in the house with us. You should know that."

"I wanted to hear it."

"That's why I told you. What are your plans until your lesson?"

"I don't know. The town will be closed down at this time. What else can I do in two hours?"

"Honestly there's not much around when have only two hours. You're free to walk around the ranch, some of the cats will be happy when they get some attention, same with the dogs. And if you want…"

"Mom, I'm late!" A tall girl with long reddish brown hair came running down the stairs.

"I know that, love."

"Lost the time again, no time for breakfast…"

"I packed you something you can eat while you drive to school."

"You're the best." The girl hugged Sofia.

"Thanks. But take five seconds to say Hi to Sara, an old colleague and new guest."

"Hi." Cat smiled. "Sorry for the rush I lost my time."

"Your mother used to be late too."

"I remember a case I was waiting for hours until you…"

"You can tell me all of mom's sins later I need to go. Bye Sara, bye boys, bye mom, love you."

"Love you too, Cat." Sofia laughed and shook her head. Her daughter didn't hear the response she was already out of the house.

"She does that regular? Being late?"

"Yeah…she paints and when she starts in the morning she loses her time sometimes. Jamie bought her an alarm clock that reminds her of school when she's up there and lost in her pictures. It wakes her up at seven and again at quarter to eight when it's really time to leave for school."

"Handy."

"Yes."

"Four kids."

"What can I say? They're cheap worker. Three of them." Sofia giggled.

"Trustful worker. Jon told me there's no job that can make him leave this place and you."

"That sounds like my big boy. He looks like the sunny boy, the surfer guy who takes life easy and doesn't care about responsibilities, but that would be the wrong impression. He is a family man, he needs his family, he wants his son growing up in a family, in a steady relationship with his siblings."

"He takes care of his son, most men his age would have left the child with their mother."

"He takes more care of my son than I take care of his. Well I'll bring them both to day care now. If you want you can join us, that way you see our town."

"Sure why not?" There was nothing else to do and she was awake


	4. Chapter 4

Sara wasn't sure if she could walk the next day. Her riding lesson had been exhausting and she needed a nap after it. A nap turned into a sleep and Sofia had to wake her up at half past two so that they could leave at three.

Losing the other four out of their eyes within a few minutes they let their horses walk though the meadow. Churchill was with them.

"I hope I don't stop you from doing something important." Sara said when they were about to leave the meadow.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, there'll be a lot of work to do. It's a big ranch, a lot animals and I haven't seen many people around."

"One thing the ranch and the law enforcement have in common is that they're always short-handed…and paid bad, so there're actually two things in common. This is my job, Sara. I join the riding groups. I let Cat take the other four alone because they're experienced rider, if there would be another beginner the group had stayed together. I don't take two beginner out alone. This is alright, it's a one on one, I can make sure you're fine, I can correct you when you have your heels too high – again." Sofia grinned and Sara moved her heels down. Somehow they always ended up high.

"Sorry."

"You're doing fine, you'll be able to ride after this two weeks. Do you want to continue to ride in Vegas?"

"I need to find a place, I don't want to end up in one of these places that treat their horses bad and let them work too much. I took this place because you care for your animals, you treat them good. That's important."

"It is. I can't give you any address of Vegas, I didn't ride their in a public place. My uncle had horses I could ride there. You should continue, Sara. It looks like you enjoy it."

"I do. I feel so free by just sitting on a walking Caza. I can't imagine the feelings when I gallop the first time."

"A gallop up on the lake at sunset is almost as amazing like a canter on the beach of the ocean in sunset. Really a thing you have to do in your life. I think we can take you up there by the end of your two weeks. Caza will make you feel safe."

"She does already. Only when she trots I feel like I'll fall."

"You need her rhythm. Try to move up and down the saddle while she walks to get a feeling of what to do." Sofia got out of her saddle and stayed up. "See up lie this and then down. Use your knees for that. You don't have to get up high, only a bit."

Sara tried to get our of the saddle.

"You're trying to stand up with your feet, use the knees. And there's no need to get a foot out of the saddle a few inches are enough. We don't try to rescue Rapunzel."

"Her hair was long enough, there was no need to climb up a horse and stand in a saddle." Sara moved up two inches – at least she guessed it was something like that. Again and again and again.

"Yes, that's better. Now you need to do that with Caza's rhythm. Ready for a trot?"

Sara took a look around. "There're no big stones, no wood or anything hard to fall on? Is the ground soft?"

"You won't fall. Just tell her to stop when you feel like losing your balance." Sofia stopped Kirundi. „Lady's first."

Sara sighed. Another trot. Another almost fall? She pressed her heels to Caza's body and the horse started to trot. Up and down, up and down, not to high, up and down. There was a rhythm, Caza had one. Sara could feel it. Where was hers? Up and down, up and down, up and…"Ooooh stop Caza, please." Sara's hands' grabbed the saddle. She had lost her left stirrup. The horse stopped immediately.

"Are you alright?" Sofia was next to her.

"Yeah, just lost the stirrup. I think I pushed to hard with the knees and didn't have enough weight in them."

"You'll lose them a few more times, no need to worry. But you had a rhythm for a few seconds. Did you feel it?"

"Yes." Sara smiled. "Maybe I do have some talent."

"You do, Sara."

"Nevertheless I need a break, no more trots for the next hour. Maybe another try on our way back…where do we go to anyway? The lake?"

"No that's a longer ride. Usually a day trip or, what we also sometimes offer, an overnight ride. You leave around noon, get up in the mountains, sleep in a tent at the lake and come back the next afternoon. It's a little bit a complicated ride I'm not sure I'd like to let you go with the group. There'll be some trots and canter."

"I need to learn fast, it sounds good. Cowboy feeling."

"It's a great fun. You know you don't need to wait for a come back until you have two more breakdowns, you could take some time off like most people do."

"Did you talk to your cousin lately?"

"No, should I?"

"No, no need. You sound already like him." Sara laughed.

"He's a good doctor."

"I don't doubt that but this forced holidays…okay they're not that bad. And I feel better. What will be over by tomorrow because my body will be sore everywhere."

"There's no morning ride, only the lesson and the afternoon ride. If you want I can take you with me again, we can make a shorter ride."

"I might take that offer. But again, don't you need to do something else?"

"Jamie takes care of the food, Jon will take the others out for a wild ride, Cat brings the kids home from day care and Paul and Angela will be on the ranch working. Yes there's a lot of work but nothing I could do within an hour or two. I think I need to ask Cat to stay a weekend at home to control the fences with me, there are a few miles of fences and once a month I like to check also the ones up the hills where the mustangs are. That's a whole day job."

"What are you doing there?"

"Riding along the fence, if there's a hole, I need to repair it. Sometimes a mustang or another wild animals cracks it, there was one day we had lost the whole herd and needed to find them again. It took us a whole day to get them back and we had help from the guests, who really enjoyed playing cowboy. So yeah it's a check up of the fence and the mustangs. Some tools, if there's something bigger we need to get the truck up. I try not to do that, I don't want the mustangs to hear the engine. Most of them got caught by people on cars and are scared when they hear them."

"Well I won't be good enough to join the others but if you want I can join you or Jon on the trip to the mustangs. I might suck at trotting but I can repair fences and handle tools."

"You're a guest not a worker."

"I live in the house I'm a family member or a friend, they are allowed to help." Sara pouted. She wasn't living like a guest so she didn't want to be treated like one.

Sofia laughed. "You're missing using tools already?"

"Yes. Do you have a car to dismantle?"

"No but Jon has an old car that doesn't drive anymore. He wanted to work on that for ages but has no time. I'm sure he won't mind if you play around with that."

"I might do that tomorrow. I've a free morning – almost free morning – so if I can walk I'll check out his car."

"He'll like that."

"I think you're very lucky with your children."

"Yes I am. They are no trouble maker. If they would be like I was I had no time to do anything on the ranch but they're angels. Jon's working like a foreman, he makes sure everything is alright and I can't remember the last time he took a day off. A little bit like you. Jamie lives for the kitchen. He loves cooking, baking, everything that involves food. I wish I could get him to work in a kitchen, to have a proper apprenticeship but he wants to stay here. Cat wants to be a vet later, she'll leave us to study and Pat? He'll do whatever he wants to do one day."

"He looks like a baby version of you with his blonde hair and the blue eyes."

"I gave him my best DNA and his father did the same. He and Kieran will hopefully enjoy the ranch as much as the others do."

"A family ranch."

"You need a big family to run a farm. Again I'm very lucky with my kids." Sofia stopped Kirundi and jumped out of the saddle.

"Come on, time to walk."

"Walk? I booked horse riding and not hiking."

"Some way you can't ride." Sofia tied Caza to a tree while she let Kirundi walk around free. Sara got down without ending on her butt again.

"Where are we going?"

"Up that way." Sofia started to climb up a small path. It was too narrow to ride it and branches were low. It took them two minutes then Sofia stopped.

"Finally, I've sore muscles and…wow…" Sara shut up. She was on top of a mountain and could see the ranch in the distance. The house, the barn, the bungalows, the meadows. Far, far away were the houses of a little village before somewhere in the distance the town was.

"Wait I saw that. There's picture in the living room shows this."

"Yes, Cat painted that last summer."

"Really? Wow she is really good. She could be an artist instead of a vet."

"She loves painting, she loves animals and a vet gets paid monthly, an artist whenever some people feel like buying something. She'll keep it as a hobby. I hope." Sofia sat down. The sun was on this side of the hill, if they stayed long enough they could see the sunset over the area.

"They are lucky to have you as a mother." Sara sat next to the blonde.

"Not as lucky as I am to have them."

"I think you're even. They might help you a lot but you gave them more than just manpower. You gave them a life. Like Jon said this morning, you were helped them when nobody else was there for them, you believed in them when everybody had given up on them and you gave them a future when everybody blamed them for their past. I think he's right on that."

"My oldest is special. I did what you should do when you adopt children."

"There are a lot of people who take fosters only to get money. They don't care about the children, they treat them bad and give them only more nightmares." Sara knew what she was talking about. She had been through some of these nightmares. She wished she had found somebody like Sofia after her mother killed her father. Her life would have been better that way.

"Your foster parents weren't nice?" Sofia didn't know anything about Sara's childhood but she knew the brunette had never mentioned her parents, had never told a happy story of her youth. Hearing her saying these words about foster homes made it clear she had been a foster with bad experience.

"No. None of them."

"How…many did you have? If I'm allowed to ask." She wanted to give Sara the chance not to talk about her past if it was too hard for her.

"Too many. And none were as nice as you are to your children. Not even close." They had never called her 'their child', she had always been 'the foster' or 'one of the fosters'. Never a member of the family. More a stranger who came in the family and they had to live with for a while.

"People shouldn't be allowed to have foster children if they don't treat them good."

"Child service doesn't really care how the family is. They're happy to have the children out of their children's home."

"That's what my three told me. They have a pretty rough past and I hope I can make up a little bit for the things other people did to them…but instead they're working too much."

"They enjoy that, they want it. You don't force them, you offer them to do something else but they want to work with you because that's what they enjoy. I think Jon is perfect as a tour guide, he has this open, friendly personality and loves to be surrounded by people. Jamie live for his kitchen, he is so proud when people tell him his food tastes good and Cat…I haven't met her really but as far as I could see this morning, she loves you and is happy to be here. The little ones are happy, you can see it when you look in their eyes. I mean, they're living with a lot of animals, children love animals. I bet they do ride."

"Kieran does, yes. He has his pony, Pat sits with me on a horse, he'll get his pony next year when he turns three."

"See. You give them so much Sofia without demanding anything."

"They're children, they should enjoy their life. They'll have to worry about work, obligations and demands for the rest of their life as adults, you shouldn't let them worry about these things when they're young. They should be happy, have fun."

"They do. Want to bet they don't want to be anybody else? And not to be anywhere else."

"I hope so."

"I'm sure they're happy."

"That's what they keep telling me."

"See, no need to lie to your mom. Not when you can make her feel guilty and teenager like to make their parents feel guilty so they're allowed to do more."

"There are not many rules here."

"I heard that yesterday when Cat stayed away for dinner. I think most parents won't let her daughter stay away, especially not when they assume she's on a date."

"She is a smart girl, she knows what she's doing. This isn't the first boyfriend, it won't be the last."

"No."

"She sees with Jon every day what happens if you're not careful, she knows how much work a child is, she knows she won't be able to go to university when she's pregnant. She won't risk that."

"Like I said you did a damn good job with them."

"It's easy to do a good job when you've got smart kids."

"Smart kids need smart parents to act and be smart."

"Okay, I'll take the compliment." Sofia laughed. "Thanks Sara."

"My pleasure. And the next time I want to say something nice you take it right away without trying to talk me out of it. Understood?"

"Only if you keep your heels down."

"I'll work on that."

"You can start right away, time to get back home." Sofia got up and offered Sara a hand. They would ride back to the ranch during the sunset.


	5. Chapter 5

Jamie had cooked Chinese today, Sara had two huge plates filled up with fried noodles, vegetables and very not Chinese ice cream at the end. Horse riding made her hungry, she couldn't remember the last time had ate so much.

Now at nine p.m., she was in her room, in pj, sitting on her bed. Greg had sent her a text, asking how her first day of the real holidays had been. With a smile she dialed his number. There was nothing better than hearing the voice of a friend at the end of a long day.

"My lovely holiday maker, how are you?" He had seen her number on his display.

"Sore."

"Did you fall? Are you alright?" Immediately his voice was anxious.

"No I didn't fall but my muscles are so sore. I doubt I can walk tomorrow."

"Don't you have days off?"

"No, this is like work, you've to do something every day. Today I had a sunrise ride, that meant I had to be on the horse at five, a riding lesson later at ten and an afternoon ride. Believe me, a double shift is easier than this."

"Is it as much fun as horseback riding is?"

"No." Sara laughed. "It's great. I mean I've to learn a lot before I can call myself a cowgirl but I didn't fall and…oh god, I haven't told you the craziest thing." Sara hit her own forehead. How could she forget the most unusual thing about her trip. She started to tell him about today but yesterday had been much more surprising.

"What? You had a duel with a bad boy and shot him?"

"No, even crazier."

"Your horse can talk like Mister Ed?"

"Not that I heard her talking. It's better that way otherwise she could complain the whole time how stupid I am."

"I doubt that you act stupid, Sara. What is it?"

"Sofia owns the ranch."

"Huh? Sofia? Our ex CSI Sofia? Detective Curtis?"

"Ex detective Curtis. Yes."

"Wow…how did you know she owns it?" As far as Greg knew Sara and Sofa hadn't been what you'd call friends. They had a rough start, got better later and worked together good when Sofia became a detective. But that Sara would go to Wyoming to see Sofia was new to Greg. So was the information Sofia wasn't a detective anymore and owned a ranch.

"I didn't. You remember the doctor in hospital gave me this address?"

"Yes." Greg had been with her every day. He said, that's what friends were for, visiting you when you're in hospital.

"He's her cousin, wanted to send his rancher cousin a guest."

"Are you bitching around with her?"

"We didn't do that…later."

"Yeah but the first months."

"No we're fine, no bitching around. She took me out for the afternoon ride because I can't trot or canter and the others love to canter. She…her…oh that's another strange fact…she's a mother."

"Well, why not? I'm not surprised there's a guy who wanted to marry and have a family with her. A hot blonde in tight jeans on a black horse, very sexy."

Sara ignored this fantasy of her young friend. She didn't to know how many computer games Greg owned with a female heroine on a black horse. Probably he had been a fan of Xena warrior princess and wanted to be her…Sara had no idea what the name of the guy in Xena's life was. She hadn't watched this show.

"No guy, no wedding, only four children."

"Four?" She could hear how Greg almost dropped his cell phone. "She had been away since when…? Four years? How did she manage to get four children in that time? Did she do anything else? Did she get twins twice?"

"She adopted them, three of them."

"Oh okay. Wow."

"Yes."

"So she's busy babysitting."

"Well, three of the four are old enough to take care of themselves, one has already his own child. The oldest one is twenty-one, has a three years old son, the second one is eighteen, the daughter is sixteen and the youngest son, she actually gave birth to and who looks like her, is two."

"You're right in the middle of a huge family."

"Yes. They didn't let me move in a bungalow, they gave me a room with bathroom in their ranch house."

"You're part of the family."

"Kind of." No, not kind of. She was a part of the family. They treated her like a family member only that they didn't expect her to work. But this was closer to a real family than all of her foster families.

"Lucky you. Do you get your two weeks for free now?"

"I paid already and I don't want it for free. I feel guilty already because I've my private guide and this room. I think when I've some spare time tomorrow morning and my muscle are able to work the way they're suppose to, I'll try to fix the car of the oldest son. That's something I can, not like trot or canter." She felt better with horsepower under an engine hood than under a saddle.

"He'll appreciate that."

"I think so. Sofia has really great kids."

"Sounds like. Is it an inspiration for you? To get your own kids? There's not much time left until you're forty."

"Shut up."

"You can do it…if you get pregnant right away." Even then it was impossible for her to become a mother before she turned forty. She could get pregnant before that time but not give birth to a baby. There were only a few weeks left before she turned forty. Forty. That sounded somehow old.

"It might have slipped your mind that my husband is in France."

"It hasn't but I hoped he comes over after your two times in hospital."

"Work is more important." He hadn't visit her when she was in hospital why should Grissom bother to come over after she left it? He expected her in France.

"Work should never be more important than your wife." Somehow she had heard that before today. Why was everybody thinking like that only her husband didn't bother to care about his wife? Or not enough to give up his jobs or at least take a break and pay a visit to her.

"Tell Grissom."

"I will if I get him on the phone. Do you fly over after your two weeks?"

"I thought of that, I've another few weeks they want me to stay away. On the other side, being in France all by myself isn't something I look forward to do."

"Stay on the ranch."

"Huh?"

"It seemed to be a nice place, stay a little bit longer. Or fly to France and get Grissom to make a decision if his work or his wife is more important. He should wake up when you tell him how unhappy you are."

"Or tell me of a bug that spends most of the time without it's partner but they're still in a relationship."

"It's Grissom, it's possible."

"I'll see. Maybe I'm hospital before these two weeks are over because I broke my neck trying to trot with my horse. I hope you come up here to visit me, Greg."

"Sure. I want to see Sofia again."

"I said to visit me, Greg. Me. Not Sofia. She isn't wearing tight jeans when she's on her horse. Forget all your pervert dreams you have."

"I don't have any dreams about Sofia…not until you put that picture of her in my mind. What color has her horse?"

"Brown."

"Black would look better with her blonde hair."

"She isn't Xena…"

"Xena's horse wasn't black, it was…more golden. And Xena wasn't blonde. Sofia is…I can't think of a blonde on a horse…no wait, She-ra."

"Who?"

"The sister of He-Man."

"Greg…"

"The master of the universe but her horse was white…"

"Greg, how old are you again?"

"The perfect age for you."

"The last sentences proved you wrong on that."

"No reason not see both of you. I'm sure I'll go along perfectly with her kids."

"That's true. Especially with the two years old one."

"Now you're mean."

"Honest. I'll send you to work and me to sleep. Have a quiet night, Greg and say hello to everybody."

"And you have a painless night and don't break your neck. I want you back in the lab after your holidays."

"I'll try to do my best. Bye."

"Bye Sara."

She switched off her cell phone and also the light. Her first real day of horseback riding. Was it painful? Yes. Was it exhausting? Definitely. Did she like it? Absolutely. And it was good for her, she felt it. The horses eased her, she could talk about things she usually didn't talk of. They say horseback ridding can be a therapy, it seems like this was a therapy she enjoyed and that worked perfectly on her.


	6. Chapter 6

Day 2 (Tuesday)

"Greg says 'Hello' to you." Sara sat down next to Sofia at the breakfast table.

"He called?"

"I called him last night."

"Who is Greg?" Jon asked interested.

"A cute young colleague, who is very close to Sara." Sofia grinned.

"You like cute, young men?" Jon cocked his head.

Sara lifted her left hand. "Married. In case you forgot."

"Mom, don't you have any unmarried female friends in Vegas?"

"Cath."

"Isn't she too old for him?" Sara wondered.

"While you're just perfect?" Sofia shot back dryly.

"Perfect married."

"What a lucky husband." Jon grinned. "A woman who takes down an offer of a young man before she had her first coffee.

"And her husband isn't young but very smart."

"Can't be that smart, he left her alone. A smart husband would be with her." Before anybody could response to that Kieran picked Jon's sleeve.

"Dad? Can you bring me to kindergarten today?"

"Yes my boy I can do that. I'll take you and Pat to town and Cat will bring you home."

"You."

"I've to work, love. I need to go on a ride with our guests."

"Me too."

"We will have a ride on the weekend. When you're back I'm already away."

"With you." Kieran looked sadly at his father.

"I'm sorry Kieran. We can play tonight of you want. We play with your cars, I'll read a story to you and bring you to bed."

"I can sleep in your bed?"

"Okay." Jon kissed his son and packed his sandwiches.

"Can you bring me some groceries from the supermarket?" Jamie asked his brother.

"Some or half of the supermarket?"

"Don't waste any fuel on a second drive." The eighteen year old grinned.

"Give me your list. That means I won't be back for the first round of the meadow."

"That's why you do it." Sofia pointed her finger to her oldest son. "You use it as an excuse, will take all your time while Jamie and me has to do that alone."

"It's you mom." Jamie corrected her. "I'm busy with the bungalows, they need to be ready for tomorrow."

"What? Oh yes I forgot. So it's me and the meadow." Sofia sighed.

"What is it with the meadow?" Sara couldn't see any problem with it. Or was it about the fences?

"A barrow, a shovel and horse dunk. I need to clean up. The favorite job of all of us."

"You want some help?"

"My kids are busy doing something else. Cat will be in school." Sofia took a look at her watch. "In exactly ten seconds we'll hear her screaming because she's late, Jamie cleans, Jon is shopping that leaves me to…"

"I'm late!" Cat flew the stairs down. "Morning. Sorry, I'm late, I need to…"

"Your sandwiches are on the bench."

"Thanks mom." Cat kissed Sofia and was out of the room.

"…that leaves me to do the meadow." Sofia shook her head, got up, lifted the car keys, held to towards the door, where Cat's head popped up.

"I forgot the…oh, thanks mom. Bye."

"One day she'll forget her head."

"I can help you."

"Sara, you're a guest."

"I don't stay in an bungalow and I don't mind. Like checking the fences. I can help you out when I'm not riding. The town isn't a place that amuses me for a few days and as long as I've my lessons in the morning and a ride in the afternoon there's no reason to drive up to Yellowstone."

"There'll be a day trip on Saturday because our two ladies leave on Sunday. If you're a little bit more safe with the trot and canter you can join." Sofia said slowly. She wasn't sure if it wasn't too early for Sara to have this trip.

"What about the new people tomorrow?"

"They're experienced rider."

"I'll be the only boring, slowly greenhorn you have."

"You're not boring and slow, you're doing a good job. As far as I know Cat will take the group for the day trip with a friend of hers, who helps here every weekend, that means when Jon takes care of the kids and Jamie of the ranch I can have a ride with you."

"No need to leave all the work to your children."

"That's what she does every day." Jamie smiled.

"Don't make it sound like I'm a slave driver."

"I haven't seen your whip lately…"

"Jamie Curtis, I think it's time for you to get your vacuum cleaner, your broom and what else you need and start your work!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Jamie got up and took his dishes.

"And I'll get the boys into town." Jon got up. "Kieran, Pat, come on, we need to get you ready for the day. I've got two little pieces of chocolate. Whoever is the first in the car and ready for the day, that means, brushed teeth, with shoes, hair in order and your sandwiches, can choose. Ready, set, go!" Both boys jumped down their chairs and ran towards the stairs.

"That's a way to make them run." Sara laughed.

"Chocolate is a soft spot in this family." Sofia got up. "If you really want to help me on the meadow come with me, I'll get you some gumboots. And a hat."

"A hat? I don't think I need protection, I won't fall."

"Not because you might fall but the sun can be aggressive."

"Okay. Do I need something else?"

"Only old clothes, this isn't a nice job, nothing that will make you look nice and sexy or smell good."

"It's a work out it will make me look nice – not that anybody would appreciate that but well, that's another story."

"I'm sure Jamie appreciates it."

"Huh?" Jamie came with a tray to get the last things of their breakfast.

"Do you appreciate when Sara works out and looks good?"

"She already does look good, no need for a work out."

"Thanks Jamie. I should have married you instead of Grissom."

"It's not too late, Sara." He grinned and walked with the tray away.

"He's flirty, just like his mother."

"I'm proud of him." Sofia took some boots out of a shoe cabinet and placed a cowboy hat on Sara's head.

"Billy the kid?"

"Your first step to become the female version of him. We need to improve your ridding skills, what is with your gun?"

"I'm still good."

"Sounds like we're halfway to make an outlaw out of you." They left the house and walked to the barn. Sofia got two shovels and a barrow.

"We can start here, walk around, as you can see we see the little mountains quite good."

"And when the barrow is full?"

"There's huge mountain behind the barn for the horst dunk. It's perfect for the garden by the way."

"I don't have a garden and even if I had I wouldn't take it back home."

"Not? I thought I might get you to take a suitcase full back to Vegas."

"No. I might fly to France anyway when I leave here."

"Sounds good."

"Depends of the time of my husband."

"What did he say when you told him you're here and met me?"

"He doesn't know. I was twice in hospital, he didn't have time to call, he didn't come over to see if I'm fine. I thought, there's no reason why I should call him again."

"He is your husband."

"I'm his wife and he wasn't there, work was more important. Thinking of that, I might cancel my flight to France, he won't have time again and I've seen all the culture things and museum in Paris."

"Paris is suppose to be a heaven for shopping."

"I don't want to spend my time in shops. If I fly to Paris I want to spend time with my husband."

"Six thousands miles between you and Grissom, that's a lot. When was the last time you saw him?"

"Four months ago when I flew over for a long weekend."

"Wow."

"He hasn't been here once. No time."

"Both of you live for your jobs. He pulled a lot of double shifts, so do you. The best for your marriage would be you're working together so that you can see each other."

"He won't come back to Vegas and I don't want to stay in France. It was supposed to be a job for a year and not two, three or how many years he plans." Sara threw the last bit of horse dunk on the barrow. "I'll get rid off this."

"Thanks." Sofia watched the brunette walking away. She knew it was Sara's way to say she doesn't want to go on talking about her and Grissom. That was alright with Sofia, she was surprised Sra had talked so much so far.

* * *

"Sara?"

"Yes?" Sara stopped Caza to wait for Jamie, who was behind her. He had taken over the evening ride while Jon started to prepare the barbeque.

"You want high heels?"

"Huh…oh, sorry." Again her heels were too high. Somehow she felt better when she had her heels up high. This way she would slip down, deeper in the stirrup and couldn't lose it.

"I'm hopeless."

"You're not, you're doing fine. Time for a trot."

"Heels down, get the rhythm and enjoy the fresh air." She cheered herself up. "Run Caza, run." She pressed her heels softly in Caza's body and the horst started to trot immediately. Up and down and up and down and…weight for the stirrups…up and down…up and…weight for the stirrups…weight for the stirrups…down!

"Shit." She found herself on the ground.

"Are you alright?" Jamie was next to her. Did he fall too or hoe did he manage to be down on the ground with her that fast?

"Yeah. I think that was the wrong way to get down. Oh look, Caza is here, she didn't run away." Sara petted her horse. She had expected Caza would take the chance and follow the other horses instead of stopping and coming back to her.

"Of course not."

"Everything alright with you?" George called. They had seen that Sara was on the ground and came back.

"Yeah, I was too concentrated to keep the rhythm of up and down – looks like more on down than up - that I went down. Nothing happened."

"Are you sure? Shall I call mom to get you in the SUV back to the ranch? A doctor?"

"Nonsense. I'm fine. If you want to do something for me help me up again. They say you've to climb back on a horse if you fall."

"True." Jamie's face was worried but he helped Sara back on Caza.

"Sorry to scare you all and especially to you, Caza. It wasn't your fault. You're such a good girl."

"We'll continue slowly. You guys know your way, do you want to ride ahead? There's a fresh spring if you go up a mile you'll meet a creek. Ride it up for half a mile and wait there for us. You can drink the water, the view is nice and you've some shade." It was over hundred degrees today and everybody was happy to have a place in the shade.

"Sure no problem. We'll be fine. Good on you Sara for going on. That's the spirit." Julia smiled.

"Yeah I don't give up that easily." Sara took the rein.

"You ever played football? Soccer or a sport like that?"

"No, why?" Sara was surprised. What did a sport like that to do with her riding skills. Or non existing riding skills.

"You know how to fall. It was obvious you knew how to protect your head and roll over your shoulder so that you don't hurt yourself with the fall. Some people who do sport learn that in their practice."

"No I'm not a sport fan. I run, that's it." She had learnt how to protect herself when she fell before she had any idea of sport. Without the ability to fall in a secure way she had been more often in hospital as a child. Her parents had told the doctor she was a clumsy child but the truth was, she was a really good at falling.

Jamie was quiet for a few seconds before he started carefully. "You learnt how to fall at home." It wasn't a question, it wasn't a statement, it was a sentence he was ready to leave in the nowhere without an answer.

"What did your mother tell you about me?"

"You're a damn good CSI."

"I mean about my time before I was a CSI." Sara tried to keep her voice neutral. Did Sofia tell her children about Sara's foster child time?

"You went to Harvard when you were sixteen, means you must be very smart. And Berkley. You're a geek."

"That's it?"

"Yeah. I got the feeling you weren't that close."

"We weren't. Why did you bring my stuff in the room and not in the bungalow? Did Sofia tell you to do so?" Sara couldn't find a reason why the blonde should do that. How could Sofia possible know that they'd go on so good?

"No. Yes. Kind of. You remember when I sent you to her?"

"Yes."

"I knew that if she comes back with you to the barn right away I can bring your stuff in the bungalow, I saw you riding Kinduri and that told me, you'll stay in the house. Seems like whatever you and mom talked in that few minutes, you were nice enough to make it to the house."

"She makes that with everybody?"

"No. Most times we have the rooms in the house for friends and family, some of our helper in summer times do spend there too."

"She checked me out to see if I'm still a bitch."

"She never called you a bitch."

"No need to, that's how I acted sometimes. Also we went along better after a while."

"I thought so."

"And she didn't tell you anything about my teenager time?"

"You ever told her something of that time?"

"She was acting supervisor."

"Which doesn't mean she's sniffing around in private files."

"Not she, but Ecklie."

"Your boss."

"Yes."

"She didn't like him, he tried to blame your husband for something he didn't do only to look good and he took her supervisor job away because she did her job right. Unfortunately right was wrong for him."

"He isn't the nicest man."

"He's an asshole and I'd love to tell that right to his face if I ever see him."

Sara laughed. She liked that idea.

"What?"

"I like that idea." She got serious again. "Why do you think I learnt how to fall at home?"

"Because that's where I learnt it."

"Your parents hit you?"

"That's a nice way to say what they did to me. Did your parents hit you?"

"That's also a nice way to say what my father did to me." They both had this bitter tone in their voice when they mentioned their past. Was it easier to talk to somebody who knew what had happened to you because he or she had the same experience?

"When I first met mom, I mean Sofia, I was a nothing." He started quietly after a while. They were all alone, the other were long gone and they wouldn't meet them the next minutes.

"I was scared, so scared even my own shadow could give me a heart attack. I didn't dare to talk, to look or to be around somebody. I tried to hide all the time. The social worker sent me and Cath to here because they thought it might be good for us, they met Sofia when she adopted Jon and she agreed to have Cat and me over. We were into horses, animals. The place we stayed had a pony and we took care of it.

When we came here I was scared, I wanted to run away. I didn't want to go back, I didn't want to stay here. What if the same life was waiting here for me like I had at the children's home. Or the foster families I had been to. Knowing I couldn't just run I made the decision to wait until I had the chance to jump on a car or a truck to get away.

But it wasn't like home, nobody did anything to me. Sofia was…she gave me my own room, she let me choose a horse, she didn't try to tell me what to do. When I didn't come to breakfast because I was with a horse that was ill, she brought me breakfast. I fell asleep next to the horse in the stable, she covered me up, left something to drink and a sandwich with me.

When I broke something she didn't slap me, she didn't yell, she didn't try to make me feel sorry. She smiled, said, it could have happen to everybody and that's it. She was graceful when I did something, it was the first time in my life somebody said 'thank you' and 'please' to me. Nobody ever thanked me for cleaning up my dishes, nobody ever asked me to help with something.

I felt like a human, not like a loser, a slave, a useless thing that didn't belong anywhere. One day she gave me fifty dollar and asked if I could do some shopping while she was with the vet to pay a bill. There I was, in the middle of the town, having fifty dollar in my hand, more money I ever had. My first idea was to run, I had money, I was in a town, I could run. I knew where the Greyhound bus left, I knew I could get a ticket to another state and start a new life in a big city. Away from everybody who ever hurt me.

Then I realized I was already in a new life. A life with people who didn't hurt me, who smiled at me and were friendly. And with somebody who trusted me. And I knew that if I would leave I wouldn't be much better than all the people who hurt me, left me. I went shopping and ran to make it back in time so that she didn't have to wait for me. When I arrived with my two bags of food and wanted to apologize for being late she stopped me by just giving me a huge dish of ice-cream. Nobody ever bought me ice cream.

Two days later she asked me if I could imagine to stay with her and that was the first time somebody hugged me and I felt like I was loved. She got me to her place, sent me to high school, so that I could go to college but I didn't want to leave. I'm happy here, I'm happy to be around mom. I don't need a college and to be frank, I'm not feeling good when I think of leaving here and being surrounded by people I don't know. I took me a long time to talk to our guests, I don't want to be along and have the pressure of the college. Being here is fine with me, it's perfect. I've my family, I've the animals, I can do what I love to do. There's no need to look for something else when you're happy."

"You look happy."

"Don't you think I'm a coward? For not going to college?"

"Why should I think that? I tried to escape foster homes with Harvard and Berkley, you found a safe place, no need to leave it. You found a place you can call home, it took me years to find a place like that in Vegas and I don't think I still have it."

"Why is that?"

"With the husband away, I'm not a social person, I live for my job that's why I broke down twice and came here."

"You need a place to fee safe, where you can relax and have people around you, who care for you and you care for. And I don't think you're anti-social, you don't hide in your room, you're out with all the others all the time."

"There's no time for that I need to get better otherwise I can't have my ride to the lake."

"You'll get to the lake." Jamie laughed. "Mom will take you there on Saturday."

"I don't want her to lose a whole day only because I'm not good enough to ride with the others. She has other things to do."

"A full day away from the ranch will be good for her. I'll make a nice picnic for you, you'll take your swim stuff and enjoy a day on the horse and in the water. Caza loves the water, she'll join you and you can practice falling."

"I thought I'm good already."

"You are but you can never be too good."

"True. Don't you go on these trips?"

"Usually I stay on the ranch, I like these little rides but not the full day or overnight. Mom or Jon do them, Cat on the weekends. I think I'm a domestic person."

"I wish I could say that about my husband."

"He can't be that smart if he leaves you alone because he prefers to work."

"It seems like he doesn't see that."

"Then he's not smart and blind." Jamie let his horse walk a little bit faster.

"Maybe." Sara mumbled and followed him giving Caza the sign to walk faster too.


	7. Chapter 7

"Are you alright? Do you have a headache? Pain somewhere? Tensions? Bruises?" Sofia came in Sara's room after she knocked on the door.

Sara was on her bed after a shower and had slept a few minutes.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"I do worry when you fall down from Caza. I thought Caza would be a good horse for you."

"She is, she's perfect." Sara got up a little bit. "It wasn't her fault. I lost my balance and I fell softly. No need to worry, I was up within a second."

"Yeah Jamie said you're good at falling. Not like his old mom who had a bruised shoulder the last time she fell."

"I'm older."

"Yes you are. Three years."

"Almost forty. I think I need some ego boost for that day."

"You'll be working I bet."

"Yes. I can go back to work in September so I'll be back in the lab and do what I can do best: be a CSI."

"If you don't break an arm or your shoulder because of this holidays."

"If I do so I'll work anyway. I can work with one arm, I did that already."

"You are crazy enough to do so." Sofia sat on the edge of the table next to Sara's bed. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Are you fine here? I mean you booked a bungalow, is it alright to be in this room?"

"Yes, absolutely. I feel like Miss Ellie all the time I walk in the house."

"If I recall it right the house of the Ewings looked much better."

"With some paint and a little renovation there won't be a difference."

"I put it on the list of the things I'll do when I'm bored."

"According to your son Jamie you're never bored but you overwork yourself."

"I try not to but there's a lot of work and I forget sometimes to relax a bit."

"That's why he'll send you with me on Saturday. A day trip and we're suppose to take a picnic and swim suit with us. How good are Pat and Kieran on horses?"

"They like riding but I think a day trip is too much for them. We can take both on a little right in the afternoon when you want."

"Yes. I mean you have to hold Pat I think, Kieran has his pony and I try not to scare them by falling down."

"They can learn how to fall the right way but I'd prefer if you stay on your horse."

"I'll try my best."

"Good." Sofia got up. "Do you want to join us on the veranda? The sunset should be nice."

"It's always nice here." Sara got up.

"Yes." They left the room, Sofia got them two beer out of the fridge and they went out. Cat was sitting on the stairs, reading while Jamie slept in a hammock.

"Family idyll." Sofia sat on a chair next to her daughter, let her hands run softly through Cat's hair and had a look on the book.

"Medicine?"

"Yeah I've nothing to read for school so I thought I can start to read something I'll need later in college and university."

"My daughter is a geek."

"Your wish."

"Kind of."

"I'll behave like a sixteen years old on Friday night."

"Is that your way to tell me you won't join us for dinner?"

"We want to meet in town for a pizza and a movie maybe."

"She has a date." So much for sleeping, Jamie was awake. And he was about to ruin his sister's evening plans.

"Shut up!"

"A musician."

"I told you to shut up, Jamie. Mind your own business."

"My little sister is my business."

"Mind your food and get a life."

"I have one, a nice one without a musician…cute musician..."

"One more word and you'll get the book on your head!"

"So much for a family idyll." Sofia sighed. "Cat, don't you want to tell me something about your musician?"

"Like what, mom?" Cat's voice was slightly annoyed.

"Like does he play guitar? Drums? Or is he the singer?"

"Keyboarder."

"Oh a piano man."

"First he plays the piano then he'll play Cat."

"That's enough." Cat got up, slapped Jamie with her book and went inside.

"Wow, somebody is mad." Jon came out when his sister went in. Patrick and Kieran with him.

"Thanks to your brother."

"What did you do to Cat?"

"I told mom about her new boyfriend."

"A new boyfriend."

"Musician. Dan."

"Dan…I think I know him. He should be a senior now. What does our mother say to this news?"

"Your mother tried to talk to your sister." Sofia said. "Unfortunately Jamie made her leave so I couldn't talk to her."

"Follow her! You're her mother, you need to tell her to stay away from a guy in a band. They're not good for her."

"Don't you think I should trust her?"

"You trusted me and now Sara has a baby boy in her arms."

"Huh?" Sara looked up confused. Yes Kieran had climbed next to her on the garden hammock and placed his head on her lap. After being scared the first night he had stopped that the first day because Sara had played with him. Jon's word sounded like Sara was the mother of Kieran because Sofia had forgotten to tell Jon to be careful.

"Kieran and you."

"We've nothing to do with Cat and Dan."

"A second grandchild…"

"Jon, I think Cat is well aware of what can happen. She sees you and Kieran every day, she isn't stupid. I trust her."

"What about the guy?"

"I don't know him."

"Make her bring him here to meet him."

"I've the feeling my sons react like fathers why I forget to act like a cautious mother. Sara? Do I have to do what they suggest?"

"I won't join that discussion, Kieran and me will stay out and watch the sunset." She had no idea how a mother had to react and she wouldn't make any suggestions. It was something Sofia had to work out with Cat.

"I'll talk to Cat." Sofia sighed and placed her half full beer in Jamie's hands.

"He's a minor, detective." Sara chuckled.

"You wanted to stay out of the discussion about this music guy, you'll stay out of the discussion about alcohol. Humans prefer to do things they're not allowed to do. I never told my children they weren't allowed to drink and I haven't had any problems with them, like finding them drunk in the living room nor had I to go to the police and collect them there because they were drunk somewhere with friends. No need to get drunk with friends in a hidden place when you can have a beer at home."

"And a beer tastes better after a long day of work in the sunset than in a dark corner where you have to drink fast so that nobody sees what you're doing." Jamie grinned.

"There are better things to do in dark corners."

"See Jon that's I should have talked to you and not to Cat. You're the one who needs some education."

"I'm fine – now."

"Now it's too late." Sofia left the veranda and walked up the stairs. Cat's door was closed but she knocked on it anyway.

"What?" Cat's voice didn't sound like she would welcome anybody in her room nor like she wanted to talk to somebody.

"Your mom annoys you."

"Are you here to tell me to stay away from Dan?"

"No."

"Do you want to tell me I'm not allowed to go out on Friday?"

"Do we have to have this conversation on two different sides of your door?" It was easier to talk to each other when you were in the same room. And Sofia had interest of yelling her answers through the door so that the whole ranch could hear them.

"Come in."

Sofia smiled a bit. The first step was done.

Cat was on her bed, headphones next to her and her book on her belly.

"Of course you can meet your friends on Friday." Sofia sat on the bed.

"Don't you want to tell me it's not good what I'll do?"

"What will you do?"

"I'll meet friends and a guy."

"Can't see anything bad or unusual in there."

"Aren't you suppose to tell me to think about what happened to Jon? That I might get pregnant."

"How many times have you met Dan?"

"Huh? Never."

"So it's your first date?"

"Yes…kind of…I'm not sure if it's a date at all. I mean we won't be alone but he asked me if I'd be there. Is that a date?"

"If he's a smart boy he'll make it into a date and won't let you go there and pays no attention to you."

"You think?"

"I'm sure. If he's smart he'll date you."

"Is that alright with you?"

"Cat, he isn't your first boyfriend and when I was sixteen I had a boyfriend too. It would look very stupid if I'd tell you not to meet him. So far I can't see any reason why you shouldn't. I had a boyfriend when I was seventeen and he played in a band. Your grandmother hated him, he was wild, he was drunk all weekend, he did drugs and he cheated on me. Took me a few weeks until I realized all that but nevertheless I didn't listen to my mother."

"What did she do?"

"Tried to keep me in the house, I climbed out of the window. He wasn't worth the trouble."

"But you did it anyway."

"Yes. I think you need to make your own experience. And just because me music boyfriend was a waste of time it doesn't mean the same for yours. Meet your friends and him, have some pizza, if he's smart he'll invite you to a movie after that. If he doesn't and you feel like there's no need that you ask him out, leave him to his music and have a nice evening with your friends."

"You really let me go?" Cat couldn't believe it. She had been sure her mother would tell her to stay at home and not to meet that boy. There had never been any problems when she wanted to meet a boy before but her brothers had let Dan sound like he was some kind of criminal.

"I expect you back at eleven, you've the day trip on Saturday. They leave at seven, I'll be awake because I'll take Sara to the lake, she isn't good enough for the group, so I can help you with the horses."

"Thanks mom." Cat hugged her mother.

"You're working hard for your school and here I want you to have some fun."

"I will and I won't do anything you wouldn't agree on."

"Which is not the same like: you won't do anything I didn't do when I was your age."

"Yeah I'm a better child."

"I don't comment on that." Sofia laughed and hugged her daughter. She had been a pain in the butt for her mother most times.

"Go and kick Jamie's ass."

"He's laying on that." Sofia got up. "I might forget to buy his favorite juice and get a cheaper version the next time I go shopping."

"Good idea. Hide his favorite knife."

"Or that. Enjoy reading, Honey."

"I will. Thanks."

Sofia left the room. She trusted her daughter and she didn't want to tell her not to do things. She was sure, the more she tried to keep Cat away from things, the more her daughter would go and do all these things. Hell, she hadn't been different.

Coming across Kieran's room she saw some light and found Kieran and Sara on the floor. They must have been playing with his cars but somehow they ended up on the floor. Kieran's little blanket above them told Sofia that Sara had fallen asleep and Kieran had join her after he had covered both up. It looked like her grandson liked Sara after their little rocky start. Show one time interest in a boy's car and they'll love you. Always the same.


	8. Chapter 8

Day 4 (Thursday)

"What are you doing there?" Jon came in the garage where his car was. Currently it was more like there was something of his car and a lot of pieces of the car around the bigger piece. Right in the middle was Sara, wearing a jumpsuit.

"You told me your car isn't driving anymore and I thought I'm going to change that."

"I thought you're a CSI and not a mechanic."

"I've a lot of hidden talents. I like jigsaws."

"Does that mean I'll have a car in a new design that will run the old Flintstone style?"

"That would be perfect for the environment."

"You won't do that, will you?" His face was full with pain. Until two minutes ago he thought he had a minor car problem now it looked like he had some major problems and a rest of a car.

"Trust me."

"I try to…my lovely car…"

"Don't whine, go out and help your mother. She's on a meadow, cleaning up. What a waste of talent, I could use her here. She was pretty good in dismantling cars."

"Is she also good in putting them back together?"

"Being a good son your mother must be capable of doing everything in your eyes."

"Being a realistic person I might give the guys in town a call later…"

"Leave me alone if you don't believe in me."

"I'll do that. Seeing my car like this is too much pain."

"Pansy." Sara mumbled and turned back to the car and all the pieces. She was almost sure about what she was doing.

So far she had placed all the things in order, had written little notes and left them on some parts to make sure she'd get the car back together the way it's suppose to be. It was an old car, around twenty years but in a really good conditions; okay it was before Sara had put it into pieces.

She had dismantled so many cars in all these years as a CSI, she was sure should could do the same with this one. And she could pay more attention to the pieces because she wasn't looking for evidence or fingerprints.

"Jon told me you're killing his baby."

"I'd never do anything to Kieran."

"He was talking about his car." Sofia came in the garage and looked at all the pieces everywhere. "That you won't do anything to Kieran is obvious. You looked so cute on the floor, snuggled into each other. It was a pity that I had to wake you up."

"All I wanted was to close my eyes for a second…since I'm here I sleep so much. It must be the change of air."

"The exercise, the excitement. This place is good for you, Sara."

"That's why I booked a room for two weeks."

"If you don't manage to get Jon's car back together you either have to leave right now or to stay until it's back to it's old shape."

"Having a good CSI by my side I'll have it back."

"What CSI?" Sofia smiled.

"The blonde one, the former supervisor." Sara smirked. "You're here to held me. I'm sure Jon is working for you so that you can have a look what I'm doing. No need to stand around and watch me, come on in and share the fun with me."

"I'm a rancher now and I was a detective before that."

"Yeah before you were a grandmother you were a great CSI. Maybe between all your gray hair there's some brain left and you can remember that."

Gray hair? "I might kick you out right away."

"How will you move that fast without your crutch, nana?"

"Bitch."

"It's mean bitch for you."

"I can see that." Sofia poked Sara in the side. "What did you find out so far?"

"Now you're talking CSI, detective. I think it's something with the engine. I dismantled it so far and think we'll find the problem a little bit deeper down. I couldn't start the car, all cables were connected so we'll need to find the reason why the car doesn't want to start anymore. It's not the oil, not the petrol."

"Carburetor?"

"Might be. It's not the ignition."

"Okay, you'll investigate, I'll detect."

"Sounds like good old times." Sara grinned. It had been year that she had worked with Sofia a case, even longer that they had worked together as a CSI team. The last time they had worked on a car was over six years ago, when they were looking for the killer of a young mother and found the guilty person in the victims mother-in-law.

* * *

"I think we deserve a huge ice tea now." Sofia sighed and tried to get some sweat from her forehead. Doing that she got some oil there.

"Or a beer."

"Not at this time, here are children."

"Children you allow to drink."

"I'm a bad mom, I know."

"A dirty one, not a bad one." Sara stepped close to Sofia and started to clean her forehead with a clean cloth.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. We worked a case together. How did it feel?"

"The case 'my son's car'? It felt good. I've to say I missed it somehow."

"Want to come back to Vegas and be a CSI again?"

"No." Sofia laughed. "I'm fine with my ranch here. I don't miss Vegas with all it's crime and long hours. The long hours here are nicer to work."

"I believe that. What will we tell Jon?"

"I'm sure you'll have some nice words for him. He should be back from the ride." Sofia couldn't believe she and Sara had spent the whole day in the garage. Sara had missed her ride because she wanted to finish the car.

"Yeah I can smell the barbeque."

"Me too. And I'm starving. Come on, we deserve something good to eat. I'm sure there's a vegie burger waiting for you."

"Jamie told me this morning he wants to try something new for me."

"Oh well, let's see what you'll get. Hopefully not an upset stomach."

"I think your son cooks very good."

"He does. They're all perfect."

"Did you ever thought of adopting another one?"

"No. Four children are enough. I want to have time for them. It's hard enough to spend some quality time with them every day, if I had more children it would be impossible. They deserve some attention and a mother who pays attention what they're doing."

"Even if they sometimes won't agree on that."

"Children and parents never agree all the time, that's natural."

"I guess so."

Around the barbeque were eight guests and the rest of the family. The four people who arrived the day before were from Arizona. Two couples, in their twenties and all of them were experienced horse rider since their early childhood.

"What happened to you two?" Julia asked.

"We played with Jon's car."

"Is that why you didn't join us on our ride?" Roberta wanted to know.

"Yeah we were at a…complicated state at that time."

"How is my car doing?" Jon's voice was anxious.

"I'd say you owe us something."

"How many pieces are left?"

"One."

"One?"

"Yes, your car is one piece and it runs. You can drive to town with it and impress all the girls, ace." Sara grinned.

"You really got my car running?"

"Told you to believe in us."

"You're great." He hugged her and kissed her cheek. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Don't forget your mother." Sofia held her cheek towards her son, who simply pulled her in his arms and kissed her.

"You're the best mother in the world."

"That's what I wanted to hear."

"You deserve a day off on Saturday."

"I do?"

"Yes you do. You and Sara can have a daytrip and I'll take care of the kids and you work."

"You'll be busy."

"Doesn't matter I've a car now."

"Men and their cars."

"Awful isn't it?" Jon giggled. "Kieran, we've a car again. We can drive to baseball now."

"Ice cream?"

"Yes we can also drive to town and have an ice cream."

"Now?"

"Let's say tomorrow after kindergarten. I'll come down, get you and Pat and we'll have ice cream."

"Yeah."

"What about your mechanics?"

"You want ice cream too? Oh well, you want, mom, I know that. Sara?"

"It's suppose to be warm, ice cream can't be bad."

"I'll get you ice cream."

"He doesn't take us out." Sara complained.

"I think he's ashamed to be seen with two old women. It's better to impress girls with two kids."

"My amazing smile is enough to impress girls."

"Smug like his mother."

"Hey." Sofia poked Sara. "Careful, please."

"Or what? You think you look like a Native American with that oil in your face and I'm scared? There are no blonde Native Americans…"

"I thought you cleaned my face."

"Kind of, it make it from dirt into art."

"You bi…"

"Mom, here are children." Jamie stopped his mother chuckling. He had taken some photos of her face.

"I'll kill her with my bare hands." Sofia tried to slap Sara who jumped aside and ran a few steps away.

"Remember I'm Billy the kid."

"Get your horse and prove it."

"I get my gun."

"From Vegas? Have a nice trip."

"Want to get rid off me?"

"I try to."

"I might not take the ride with you on Saturday."

"Scared of payback?"

"Yes. I don't like being left in the national park without a horse and water."

"You can walk, lovely exercise."

"I'll stay here and take Caza for a ride around the ranch. Or we'll leave and won't have her here at all."

"I still have very good contacts to the police, Sara."

"And I'm a CSI I know how to vanish."


	9. Chapter 9

"I'm very sorry for not believing on you." Jon came to the veranda where Sara was sitting in the dark. It was after ten, she wanted to go to bed since half and hour but it was so nice out here. Still warm, quiet and peaceful. She couldn't have evenings like this in Vegas.

"That's alright I'm not a mechanic."

"Nevertheless I should have trusted you, Sara."

"You did somewhere deep inside. Otherwise you had sent me away from your car."

"You mean what was left of my car when I came in the garage."

"Everything was still there."

"Yes, in many pieces. What did you fix?"

"Oh well Sofia and me worked on the engine, we didn't need to change parts, we could repair them, clean them and that was enough. But we will need some new parts soon, this will keep your car running for a few weeks, but put a car on your Christmas list."

"Okay." He laughed and sat next to her. "What is on your Christmas list?"

"Why?"

"I might play Santa Claus."

"I haven't thought of Christmas, I've never been a Christmas fan and Grissom…last Christmas he was in France, I was working, I think this year will be the same."

"You should see him."

"Why me? Why isn't he suppose to come to Vegas? Why does always the woman have to follow the man?" What wasn't right because Grissom had followed her to Costa Rica. Well, she had left her project after a few days and they had started their own tours, looking for bugs and other animals.

"Because women are smarter."

"Don't you think it's smarter not to run after a man who hasn't time? Who apparently doesn't appreciate that you want to spend time with him? Who prefers to work than call you to hear how you don in hospital."

"You're a smart woman, Sara, what do you think? Is it smart to do all these things?"

Sara stared in the dark. It wasn't smart but else could she do?

"I think I should go to bed."

"Do you like pancakes?" He felt she didn't want to talk but he didn't want to let her go like this.

"Huh?"

"Do you like pancakes?"

"Yes."

"I'll make some pancakes for you for breakfast until I've found something better to thank you for the car."

"You don't have to thank me, I enjoyed it."

"You enjoyed working on the car or working with mom?"

"Both."

"Thought so. Finish your beer, Sara, I'll leave you alone. Some quiet time for thinking is worth missing out half an hour of sleep. Good night, don't let the bed bugs bite."

"I won't."

He stroke her arm softly and left her alone. This thing with her husband was worrying Sara, Jon could feel it but he knew he had no right nor was it his business to ask her about it. They knew each other less than a week, he had no idea about Grissom, what kind of person he was. He wasn't allowed to judge the man he had never met.

Going up to his room he saw some light in his mother's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"Hey."

"Hi Jon, everything alright? Do the kids sleep?"

"Yeah, they're fine. Do you have a minute?"

"For you I've two or three." Sofia smiled and patted on her blanket.

"I met Sara outside on the veranda, she was sitting there in the dark."

"Sounds like her."

"What is that with her husband? Why is he treating her so badly?"

"I don't know."

"You know him. How is he? How was he when you worked with him?"

"Grissom." Sofia sighed, took her arm around Jon and pulled him in her arms. She liked to have him close, if she could, she would hold all her children and her grandchild all the time in her arms. Having your family as close as possible was the best thing in the world and most people weren't close enough to their family.

"Grissom is an artist when it comes to entomology but his skills in the personal area are low. He lives for his job, he stayed sixteen hours in the lab, working on cases, studying bugs. It was always great to work with him, he doesn't miss a thing. You can leave him at a crime scene, this man stays until he has found every little piece of evidence. He won't let a killer run because he missed a piece. He works the scene again and again and again. There's nothing else to him than his scene and the case.

His private life…he isn't a person who lets you in his life. I met him once for dinner, when I wanted to quit my job as a CSI, he made me stay and I'm very thankful that he did. But he leaves the lab, goes home, sleeps, goes back to work. I can't see him as a man who comes home, kisses his wife and ask her how her day was. I don't think it's possible to have a conversation with him about feelings, not if that involves his feelings too.

You want to know how the marriage between them is? If you had asked me a month before I had said they're perfect for each other. Both workaholics, both emotional closed."

"And now?"

"She hasn't really talked about her feelings but it is clear that she isn't happy with her marriage, having the distance between him and her. I think if they would be together at a place they both enjoy, working cases together, they'd be happy."

"He told her she can come over to France and work with him."

"That's what he says, she knows she won't get in his project, the French government makes the decision who works there and she isn't important enough to be interesting for them. She is only a level three CSI, I don't mean that in a bad way, I say it like the French sees it. They've plenty of their own CSI there who can do the same job. She could try to work as a CSI if her French is good enough and she gets a work permission."

"In that case he should come back."

"He is a workaholic and lives for his job. She understands that, she is like him. But there's another part inside her, the part that misses not only the husband but also the person who is there for her. Two break downs within a short time, I don't think it was only physical. She had always worked hard and long hours. It's because she isn't settled, she is missing somebody, she needs somebody. She needs somebody who's there for her. He didn't call when she was in hospital, that hurt. It hurts her more than she might know. And I think if she won't change something, means if she can't get Grissom to come back or finds a way to be happy with him in France, she'll have another break down."

"She's a smart woman…"

"That has nothing to do with brains, Jon. It's about emotions and she has to learn there."

"Yeah."

"You like her, don't you?"

"A part of me wants to hate her for being so mean to you…" He knew the story, he knew how Sara had treated his mother in the beginning.

"That's years ago, she was jealous because she thought I was hitting on the man she had a crush on for ages."

"Did you?"

"I wanted to impress him with my work, I didn't want him in my bed, no."

"Why didn't you tell her that? Threw it in her face."

"It wasn't a good time to be that straight forward. And it took me a while until I understand why she was so bitchy. I was already a detective when I understood. At that time we worked together quite good, no bitching around, she tried it for a few weeks but I think after three or four months we had no problems with each other and worked quite a lot cases together. I think at that time her relationship to Grissom grew stronger and she started to understand there was nobody taking him away from her."

"All this fuzz for a guy who isn't worth it."

"Some people are not made for making other people happy."

"You think Sara can make somebody happy?"

"I don't know. At the moment she can't make herself happy, how is she suppose to make somebody else happy?"

"You have to get her thoughts away from her husband when you take her to the lake on Saturday."

"That won't solve the problem. She has to make a decision, she's suppose to fly to France in ten days if she keeps the flight date. Until then she should know if she wants to go on like this or if she tells Grissom they have to change their relationship."

"What do you think will she do?"

"We're talking about Sara, everything is possible."

"She's good with Kieran."

"A thing that scares her."

"It does?"

"Yes. She isn't used to be surrounded by children, you can see that. But Kieran has a soft spot for her, she was interested in his cars and played with him."

"And took him to the ponies."

"Another bonus."

"Yes. There's something between Jamie and her too. Since they had this ride together the relationship between both has changed. They were friendly but it seems like something happened there and it's something special they don't want to share with somebody else."

"Jamie had a troubled childhood and as far as I know Sara's wasn't nice either. Maybe they talked about that when all the others were away. You shouldn't ask one of them, not until they start to tell you."

"I won't." He kissed her and got out of her arms. "I'll leave you to your book, have a last look at the kids and go to bed."

"I know already who the killer is."

"Of course, you're a detective."

"I was."

"Oh mom, you still detect. And you investigate. You're a mother, you do all these things every day with your children."

"Did I ever treat you like a suspect?"

"Yes and I deserved it."

"See." Sofia grinned.

"Good night."

"Jonny?" It was seldom that she called him Jonny.

"Yes?"

"It's nice that you care for other people even if you don't really know them."

"She's part of your past and I've to say, she fits in here good. I wouldn't mind her coming along more often. One day we'll have her ready for a gallop."

"Don't tell her that you said 'one day', son."

"I won't. Good night, sleep tight."

"Likewise." Sofia smiled a bit. She had definitely done everything right with her kids so far. They were great.


	10. Chapter 10

**Day 6 (Saturday)**

"You know it's pretty early for discovering the anatomy of a female body." Sara said. She and Sofia had left the ranch two hours ago and were long away from the meadows and up in the hills, the beginning of the Grand Teton National Park.

"I beg your pardon?" Sofia let Kirundi walk slower so that she was next to Sara and Caza.

"Grand Teton National Park."

"What has our national park to do with a female body."

"You want to tell me you didn't read the history of the park? What kind of tour guide are you?"

"Apparently a bad one. So tell me what has the national park to do with a female body?"

"The first trapper coming to Arco in Idaho were French and when they saw the hills they got reminded of nipples. It must have looked for them like a lot of naked women laying around, so they called it 'tétons', the French word for nipples. Year later they took the name wrongly for the mountains we see today because they thought the trapper had talked about them. Obviously a case of bad map-making and map-reading of that time."

"You read a guide about the park."

"Sure. I planed to stay two weeks close to it, planed a few rides through it, I wanted to know something about it."

"You didn't think your tour guide could tell you all the important facts?"

"Bette safe than sorry. I got proved right by having a guide with no idea about the name of the park."

"People usually don't ask that, they want to know how big the park is, what animals they can see on their rides, what areas we'll see and where to go for a day trip by car. I can tell you there are around 200 miles of hiking trails and the park has a size of 484 square miles."

"And we'll see which animals?"

"Horses."

"Really?" Sara rolled her eyes.

"Coyote, moose, squirrels, a black bear or wolf would be the most exciting ones."

"Do you have your gun with you?"

"Are you scared?"

"I don't know if Caza wants to walk away from a bear and when she starts to gallop…well I survived the canter yesterday."

"You did a good job." Sara had tried to canter for the first time yesterday and had to say, she felt safer when Caza did a canter than a trot.

"You say that all the time and I fell three times this week."

"Everybody falls down a horse, nobody can ride without that. A good rider gets up and back on the horse, the bad ones stay on the ground and get scared of riding.

"Poor Caza will think I don't like her."

"Caza is a beginner horse, she is used to people falling down that's why she isn't running away. She stays and waits until you climb back on her and enjoy your ride again. I'm sure if she could she would try to catch you all the times."

"I think so too, she's a great horse." Sara bent forward and hugged her horse. "You made a good decision when you told me she'll be mine for this time."

"I hoped you like her."

"Like you hoped I'd like the room better than the bungalow?"

"Yes."

"Jamie told me you knew it's me but you weren't sure if I should stay with you in the house or in a bungalow. How came that I'm allowed to stay in the house? What did I say to qualify myself for that room?"

"You weren't bitchy."

"I've never been…I mean…we worked together quite good after a rough start. I didn't bitch after you became a detective."

"You did."

"When?"

"When I talked to Grissom during the Bell investigation."

"You weren't supposed to be there, he was investigating your case, you couldn't talk to him. It could have been used against you and him. You knew that."

"I needed a friend, Sara and not a shrink."

"And it's hard to have friends out of the department, I know. Not my best suggestion. But I worried about the two of you and the case."

"And you let me wait for hours in front of the telephone box."

"I didn't get your message earlier."

"Sure." Sofia grinned.

"Maybe I could have been a little bit faster but I didn't let you wait on purpose."

"Apart from that we worked together good, yes."

"We had some very funny moments together…I can remember the first case with the miniature killer, the rock star…"

"…we met his ex-wife and she asked us if he was sleeping with the babysitter again. A thing we had found out a little bit before." Sofia fulfilled the memory.

"Yes." Sara laughed. She and Sofia had shared an amused look before they had answered that question.

"Or I remember when you were demoted to a messenger girl to get Grissom for the Sheriff." Sara had been surprised to see Sofia at that scene.

"From acting supervisor to CSI and from detective to messenger, that wasn't funny, Sara."

"It was for me. I was surprised to see you at the scene."

"Surprised or annoyed because I was looking for your guy?"

"Surprised. He was mine at that time, no need to be jealous. You're not enough of a challenge for him."

"You on the other hand are a challenge, I do believe that. But hey, I can remember a case even the it was fun working with you even that we two were CSIs and you weren't that nice at that time."

Sara furrowed her brows. Sofia made it sound like Sara had been a pain in the ass for the whole time they had worked together. That wasn't right.

"What?" Sofia smiled.

"I wasn't that bad."

"Sometimes you were even worse. Do you remember the casino guy with the hidden room?"

"Yes, he had this baby fetish, wanted to be a baby." The hidden room was one of the weirdest things Sara had ever seen as a CSI.

"I think our conversation about the pregnant woman was quite funny. You told me about your professor in college who breast-fed her six years old."

"Yeah…that was weird. The case and the professor. A two leg topless buffet." Sara chuckled when she remembered Sofia comment.

"I had to think of that a few times when I had Pat and breast-fed him."

"Not that I really want to know that but I hope you don't do that anymore." Sara laughed.

"Only on the weekend and on public holidays." Sofia answered dryly.

"I don't believe you."

"Pity. No I don't do that anymore, I think a few months is alright and then they can have their own food. I don't want to breast-fed my son with his teeth. He likes biting and I'm not into pain."

"Don't you miss working as a detective sometimes?"

"Yes I do. There were some funny moments, some moments I thought, the suspect must be kidding me. You remember the case with the body in the chimney?"

"Yeah, we let Warrick and Cath in because they had tried to find evidence the owner of the chimney had killed a young girl. We thought it's his son in the chimney and at the end the son was fine, the body was placed by the father of the girl to give us the opportunity to look around the house we had to arrest him too. But at least we got the guy for killing that girl. He tried to frame it to his son – at that time dead son. What a great father."

"His son wasn't amused when he heard that. He was very flirty and relaxed before, when I wanted his cell phone number for further questions he wanted to know if I wanted to ask him out. Sure, I ask a teenager out, an arrogant rich one."

"He was twenty-one, it was legal. His old man had a soft spot for young girls, maybe the son went for older women."

"Older? I was…barely over thirty." She was still young. Not an older woman.

"Over ten years older than he was, he would have been your toy-boy."

"I prefer men my age. And no suspects, please. No matter how charming they can be." Sofia shook her head remembering one man. "You're too pretty to be a cop. I wonder if he thought he could get me this easy."

"He was right." Sara smiled.

"Be careful, Sara."

"Huh?" Sara looked around. Was there something? A bear? Something on the ground that could make Caza fall?

"No, not the area, I'm talking about you. You made me a compliment. Not your style."

"Ah, okay." Sara laughed. "Sorry. I mean, he said that to get out of custody, it's obvious that he was lying."

"Maybe you should try to find something between a compliment and an insult. Something neutral."

"The weather is really nice today, isn't it?" Sara looked innocent at Sofia.

"Yeah, that's better."

"You never answered my question about the gun."

"Yes I have my gun with me. It's not standard on day trips but on the overnight trips. With coyotes, bears, wolves and moose around it's better to have a gun. That's why only Jon and me do the overnight trips. We've registered guns. Well, most of them, Cat does them too but I don't like when she does them."

"Means if there's anything attacking me you can shoot it."

"Or if you're too mean I can shoot you and tell everybody it was self-defense."

"You wouldn't do that, detective. Serve and protect the CSI and not kill and leave her. You might not be working as a detective anymore but you still act like one. There's no chance that you can scare me, I trust you. You won't use your gun against me. You might handcuff me to a tree and leave me there for an hour or so but you'd stay the whole time with me to make sure I'm safe. Don't waste any time and energy to deny that, Sofia."

"The time can change people."

"Yes time does that sometimes. It didn't do that to you, Sofia. I never believed you the bad ass cop."

"Why not?"

"You're way too pretty to be a cop." Sara repeated too serious for Sofia to believe her.

"Bite me." Sofia got Kirundi close to Caza and started to poke Sara's sides.

"Stop that!" Sara tried to defense herself but she needed to concentrate on her horse and her balance. Again and again Sofia's index finger found it's way in Sara's sides.

"Run, Caza, run!" Sara moved her heels to Caza's body and the Quarter Horse started to canter. Not worrying how she looked, Sara held on the saddle and tried to keep her balance. Caza became faster and faster. Sara knew, if the horse would stop itself they would go on like this forever. She had lost the rein and all she did was holding on to the saddle and keeping her balance.

Trees and bushes flew past and the horse seemed to keep its speed. Without any problems Caza climbed the hill and stopped on top of it. Sara fell forward and hugged her horse, more or less because she wanted it. Most of all she was happy that Caza had stopped and she didn't fall. That was a ride. That wasn't canter, that was gallop and she was sitting on a Quarter Horse, the fastest horse over a quarter mile. Had it been only a quarter of a mile or more? Sara had lost her feelings for distance.

"Are you okay?" Sofia stopped Kirundi next to Caza. She had tried to follow Sara but Kirundi had no chance to keep up with Caza and all the blonde could do was hoping that Sara held her balance and didn't fall.

"Yeah." Sara didn't want to let go of neck, had her face buried in the mane.

"Sara." Sofia had left Kirundi and stood next to Sara, holding her arm.

"I'm fine." Sara moved her head a bit so that she could see Sofia.

"Come down."

"I don't think I can move my legs."

"You can. I'll help you." Sofia got Sara's shoe almost out of the stirrup. Slowly Sara moved her right foot out and over the back of the horse to get down carefully.

"I'm glad you're okay." Sofia hugged her.

"You lost the race." Sara mumbled into Sofia's hair, holding on to her. Her legs felt strange, the ground was shaking and she felt like after a long trip on a boat.

"Double the distance and we can try it again."

"Caza is too fast for you."

"I'm happy she wasn't too fast for you. I was afraid you would fall. I'm so sorry."

"Nothing happened and I told Caza to run."

"I shouldn't have tickled you."

"Nothing happened. But I think I don't want another gallop so soon. I want some more lessons before I'll try that again."

"That sounds like a good plan." Sofia stroke Sara's back. "Are you really alright?"

"Yes. But I could use a whiskey now."

"Don't drink and ride." Sofia chuckled and got Sara out of her arms. "What do you think of a coffee and a break?"

"After I didn't break anything I can use a break, yes." Sara got Caza's rein and looked around. They were really on top of the mountain and there was nothing to tie her horse.

"Let her walk she won't run away." Sofia got the coffee out of her bag. With the two plastic mugs she had a seat on a stone. Kirundi was grazing and Caza joined her.

"It's a nice view, what a pity I didn't enjoy it on my way up to here." Sara sat next to Sofia.

"Yes, you missed some nice photos spots. This one isn't too bad either."

"It's great. As soon as the coffee makes my hands steady I'll take some photos. Will we take the same way back?"

"No, we'll take another way but we can come back to here if you want. Just ask Cat to get you here tomorrow in the afternoon. It's a nice three hours ride."

"I might do that. I didn't know Caza can be that fast."

"She is fast, yes. Only because she is too old for a racing horse it doesn't mean she's slow. She can still run faster than any other horse we have. Well Xin is a Quarter Horse too, he can hold up to her, is even faster, but none of our riding horses for guests is as fast as her."

"You gave me the fastest horse because I'm a beginner. Thanks Sofia."

"I gave you the most reliable horse. Why didn't you tell her to stop?"

"I don't know, I didn't think of that. I was like: hold on to the saddle, keep your balance, heels down, weight in the stirrups, balance, wow is that fast, hold on to the saddle, was that a tree? Will she ever stop? Balance."

"This is our usual break place so I was pretty sure she'd stop here. Your run up the mountain wasn't bad. I'm impressed how good you kept yourself up. You've got talent, Sara."

"Yeah for ending up in trouble. I knew that before."

"Oh come on, that was no trouble. You did better while we worked together. Getting in Ecklie's face, arguing with Cath, threatening suspects…"

"Will you shut up or do I have to put my coffee with the cup into your mouth?"

"Just showing what trouble means."

"I know trouble, thanks." It was one of the first things she learnt when she was a child. What trouble was, how it felt to be in trouble. The second thing she learnt was to see, feel, know when trouble was coming up and third thing was to run and hide. Unfortunately run and hide in a house wasn't something that was successful often. Too many times she had picked the wrong hideout, ran the wrong way, didn't see trouble coming fast enough, could duck and run to a safe place, had felt what it meant not to be fast enough, well hidden enough, in the…

"Sara."

Sara had no idea why she was suddenly in Sofia's arms.

"It's alright. Calm down, it's alright." Sofia's voice tried to calm her down. Sara felt how she was shaking, how her hands trembled, she had spilt her coffee, lost the cup.

"It's alright, you're safe."

"I…" She what? She had no idea what happened?

"Do you want me to call Jamie to get you back to the ranch by car? You don't have to ride anymore."

"What? I want to…" Sofia thought this was about her gallop. No, it wasn't. It would be a perfect excuse but Sara didn't want the blonde to make her stop horse riding. It wasn't Caza's fault, it was her past. Again.

"Sara, you're shaking."

"It's not about the ride."

"But?"

"It's…please don't make me talk about it. It has nothing to do with the ride."

"Was it anything I said?"

"Just…forget it, okay?"

"I can't forget but I can stop asking you. Although I'd prefer to know what I said to upset you so I won't repeat it. I was just mocking you with the trouble, I wasn't serious…"

"It's nothing what you said, I don't care about the trouble I had in Vegas."

Sofia could feel Sara cared about trouble she had at another place and this was the part she didn't want to talk about.

"Okay. If you want to talk about it I'll listen. You know being a mom you have to be a good listener."

"I'm not one of your kids."

"No, you're too old. I could be yours."

"Three years, Sofia. Not three decades."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Anyway kid or not a kid if you want to talk I'll listen. No matter if today on our trip, tomorrow on the veranda or at any other day and place. Just let me know."

"Thanks." Talking didn't help to change anything that happened in the past. Nothing could change that.


	11. Chapter 11

"Okay tour guide, I'm hungry. What are you going to do with that?" Sara stopped Caza at a little creek so that her horse could drink.

"I'll make a lunch for you. As I told you I've my gun with me, I'll shoot a moose and we'll have plenty of food, we can stay a week."

"First of all you've no license to shoot a moose; I hope. Second I wouldn't eat it as you know and third, there'll be something else around to eat than a poor moose. They are quite entertaining. Did you never watch 'Brother bear'? The moose are the best of the whole movie."

"I did watch it and I cried my eyes out when Kody's mother died."

"And you want to be a detective?"

"I'm a mother not a detective."

"Yeah, right." Sara grinned and got down from Caza. She could need a little break from riding.

"You didn't cry? Sara Sidle has no feelings when the mother of a poor baby bear dies?"

"There's barely a Disney movie that doesn't make me cry. I don't know why all the times somebody has to die in this movies."

"We should go to Disney Land and ask them there."

"The next time you're in Vegas. I'm sure you visit your mom a few times a year."

"She comes up here, that's easier than leaving the ranch alone and if we do, Jon or me has to stay to make sure everything is alright. If she wants to see the whole family she has to come to us."

"Fair enough. What are you doing?"

"Lunch." Sofia had build a circle out of stones, placed some wood in between and looked for more. "Wanna help?"

"What shall I do?"

"We need some more wood."

"Okay." Sara threw one look at Caza who was grazing next to Kirundi. No reason to tie her horse up she guessed. With a bunch of branches she came back to a small fire.

"Thanks." Sofia put some more wood on it, got a little pan out of her bag and placed it on the stones so that the fire was beneath it.

"What are you cooking?"

"I've two eggs and this." Sofia threw a package to Sara.

"Instant noodles?"

"Yes, all we need is to add some water and lunch is done. Very handy for a ride. Easy to cook, easy to carry."

"Jamie cooks better."

"Even he can't make a vegetarian lasagne in the forest."

"I bet he'd find a way."

"I found out you and him are close, it looks like he found his way to your heart with his food. Food of the heart."

Sara smiled a bit. It was less the food than more the shared past. They hadn't talked about what had happened to them in details, Sara had told him less than he had told her, but they knew, they shared a past and some nightmares.

"You've got great kids…well they don't have your DNA that will be the reason why…ouch." Sara held her shoulder. Sofia had thrown the second package of noodles there.

"Pat will be an aggressive, arrogant and annoying child, the poor boy has your DNA…"

"Sara Sidle, I'll kick you in the creek if don't stop now!" Sofia broke the eggs and let them slip into the pan.

"Sunny side down please."

"There's no choice, I'll turn them anyway because as soon as they're ready I'll add the water for the noodles. You'll get an all in one lunch, like it or leave it."

"I'm hungry I'll eat it."

"Good."

"Are there any dangerous animals around or can I have a little walk?"

"You shouldn't meet anything more dangerous than yourself."

"I can handle myself. When will we have lunch?"

"Any time between five and ten minutes."

"Alright." Sara got up. Time for a little walk.

"Don't get lost we don't have a dog with us to find you."

"No mom."

"Don't mom me."

"Sorry grandmother."

"Get lost!" Grandmother. And when Sara said that it sounded even older. Sofia was sure the brunette did that on purpose and if she found a way to prove that she'd give Sara some trouble. Trouble. Something had triggered something inside Sara when Sofia had mentioned trouble before. It was still in her mind, she could see the shacking woman in front of her. Sara hadn't been with her, her body was but the rest of her had been somewhere else.

Sofia hadn't mentioned it but she had seen things like that before. Jamie had the same problem sometimes. When things reminded him of his childhood and caught him in bad memories, he started shacking and sometimes crying. The only way to make him leave these memories fast was holding him in your arms and talking him out of the pictures in his mind. She had held him a few times in her arms when he had that and she knew Jon and Cat did the same.

Had the same happened to Sara? Was that the bound she and Jamie had? The special connection Jon had mentioned. Sofia would never dare to ask one of them, if they had talked about that, if they knew they shared bad memories, she hoped they talked to each other, helped each other. Jamie had started to open op, at least to his family. She had no idea what he did when he met somebody who had survived the same hell.

"You'll them burn, detective!"

"What?" Sofia shook her head. "Oh." Her eggs were done, she needed the water. "Sorry." She got some water from the creek and added the noodles.

"That's alright better well done than bloody."

"There's nothing like bloody eggs."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah…where have you been and what do you have in your cup?"

"Dessert."

"Dessert?"

"Yes." Sara put her cup on the ground. It was filled with berries. "I thought I get us something healthy."

"And you're sure they're not poisoned?"

"Yes. I know something about berries, don't worry."

"I'm sure you do. A vegetarian should know how to get his or her food."

"I do. What lies ahead of us? Anything special coming up?"

"Well we're too far away from the attractions of the park but we'll see some snow covered mountains later. I think it will take another hour until we're on top of the highest mountain of our trip, we'll have a pretty nice view from there. The weather isn't that warm so we don't need to stop at the lake for a swim…"

"What? You told me to wear my swim suit and now you tell me won't swim?"

"Do you want to swim?"

"Sure. And I want to see the lake."

"We can make it to the lower side, the upper one is nicer but you need the overnight right for that."

"After I didn't fall down when Caza was running like the wind am I good enough for an overnight ride?"

"You want to repeat that gallop?"

"No!"

"When you want to repeat that gallop and enjoy it a few times a day you're ready for an overnight trip."

"Great, I'll never get up to the nicer side of the lake."

"You will one day. If I get Cat to do the rides next weekend I can ask Jon to make the trip with you from Friday to Saturday. I need to be in town Saturday morning, I can't join you. You can walk and trot the trip but it will take longer then."

"I should practice in Vegas and come back next summer to be intermediate and join all the great rides."

"You should come back in winter, it's lovely in the snow and the horses like running through the soft snow. You can get some ski, a horse and do skijöring."

"What?"

"You're on ski and are behind a horse. It's like water ski but in the snow and with a horse in front instead of a boat. Some real fun."

"I can't see any fun when Caza runs like before. And I can't ski."

"Something new to learn."

"I'll break my neck one day."

"But you'll die being happy."

"Great."

"You prefer to be alive and unhappy?"

"I'm dreaming of being alive and happy. One day it might happen."

"The greatest happiness on earth is sitting in the saddle of a horse."

"Walking slowly over a meadow and not running up a mountain like the devil is right behind you."

"You're faster than the devil – at least the first quarter of a mile."

"He's not a horse."

"He has a clubfoot."

"I don't believe that. I thought a few times you're the devil and your feet were way too small for a clubfoot."

"I should spill your soup in your face, Sara." Sofia eyes the brunette.

"You won't. It's your soup too."

"I can have mine in my cup."

"You still won't do it."

"Don't dare me too much."

"You won't let your CSI starve. A good detective takes care of her CSI."

"I am not a detective anymore. We had that topic already."

"You'll always be a detective, Sofia. Deep in your heart. One day, detective Curtis, you'll miss the streets, come back and qualify as a lieutenant and make it to captain."

"My mom dreams that dream I won't live it. I'll stay on my ranch and chase tourists who lost their control over their horses. That's more fun than chasing men with guns who want to see me dead. I don't need the thrill of fighting to survive every day anymore."

"I really tried to get you back to Vegas."

"Why do you do that?"

"I miss working with you." Sara said simply.

"Why? You can't be bitchy to somebody else?"

"They're all pissed off right away, that's no fun."

"What a pity."

"I tell you. So are you coming back?"

"No." Sofia laughed. "It sounds tempting to see you every day, have you bitching around but I think I prefer the peace of the ranch. I'm really sorry."

"No, you're not and I can understand you." Sara smiled. It was a nice place here she wouldn't trade it for Las Vegas. Not if she had a family like Sofia and fulfilled a dream of herself. Why leaving that? There was nothing in Las Vegas that was worth doing that.

What kept her in Las Vegas? Grissom was in France, she should be there too. She had no family in Las Vegas, her family was in Paris. Why did she choose to stay with her few friends in Vegas? Well, the only real friends were Nick and Greg, she didn't know Ray well enough and the relationship between her and Cath were too often too complicated. So why did she choose to stay with Greg and Nick instead of Grissom? It must have been the job that got her back to Vegas. The job that got her here too; in a strange way. But sometimes your life takes strange ways…


	12. Chapter 12

"You were right about the view, it's magnificent." Sara had no idea how to get the view over the national park on her photo. It was too big. She started to take photos from the left to the right, thinking of gluing them together for the panorama view later.

"It is. I mean there are better views when you go further in the park, all the famous ones but this one isn't too bad either. I haven't had a guest who ever complained about this." Sofia had left Kirundi, stepped to Caza and held her while Sara took photos. It had taken them a little bit over an hour to come from their lunch place to here. Most of the time they had spent in silence, watching the area, listening to birds and enjoying the time here. It was a pleasant silence, none of them had felt uncomfortable.

"You can't complain about this. It's wow." Sara got down, hugged Caza and gave her a piece of carrot she had in her pocket.

"Ready for another break?"

"Oh yes. There's no chance you can make me leave this place without taking a dozen photos. Of each direction."

"Didn't you do that already?"

"No." Sara grinned and took a photo of Sofia.

"Hey!"

"That's for the guys in Vegas. To show them what happens to you when you leave the city. You'll end up in the middle of nowhere, become a grandmother and can't afford a car anymore."

"Nature, family and horses, I'm sure there are some people having a worse life."

"The poor bastards who are your family?"

"You're mean again, Sara."

"Sorry." Sara chuckled and yelled when Sofia's index finger found is way back in her sides.

"Stop that!"

"You can't tell your horse to run away now." Sofia poked her again.

"Stop that!"

"No chance to run, no horse that will safe you. You need to fight for yourself."

"I told you to stop…" Sara put her camera aside and started to defense herself. She caught Sofia's hand and held on to them.

"Is that all you can offer?" The blonde teased.

"I don't have handcuffs but I can take the rein of a horse and tie you up with that."

"And you think I'll let you do that?"

"If I get your gun somehow…"

"Sara, I was a detective, I don't let anybody get my gun."

"Not anybody, a damn good CSI."

"A good CSI would never fight against a detective, they're on the same side."

"Not if the detective is a bad detective…ouch…are you biting me?"

"Yes."

"Detective Curtis, that's low."

"It worked." Sofia had her hands free again, got Sara's arms and pinned her to a tree. "You've the right to remain silent…"

"You bit me! Not the other way around."

"Self defense and I'm the detective."

"You were."

"There are still enough friends of me in the department I will get away with this."

"It's the name of your mother you use…ouch! You pinched me! Girl!"

"It's enough to fight like a girl when I have to fight you."

"Don't be too sure."

"I am."

"Bitch. I think I won't ask what I wanted to ask."

"What's that?"

"Not important anymore. A stupid idea as it shows now."

"Talk, suspect." Sofia got closer to Sara.

"Let go of my hands."

"Consider yourself as handcuffed." There was no doubt Sofia could hold on like this for a while. She wasn't working as a cop anymore but she still hand strong hands. It was something she needed here every day with the horses. If she wanted Sara to stand like this for another half an hour, there wasn't much Sara could do.

"Sofia."

"Detective."

"Please."

Immediately Sofia let go of Sara's hands. It wasn't the word 'please' that made her do that, it was the way Sara said it. She sounded scared, hurt, more like a child than a woman.

"I'm sorry, I…"

"It's alright. I just don't like it when I can't move my hands."

"Sara…" Sofia put her hand on Sara's shoulder.

"I'm really alright."

"I won't do that again."

"I won't give you the chance to do that again, detective. The next time you'll find yourself restrained."

"There won't be a next time." Sofia had no idea what she hit when she pinned Sara to the tree but she had hit something and she assumed it was a childhood experience that was related to the incident before.

"What do you want to ask?"

"I told you I won't ask it anymore."

"Do I have to tickle you to make you talk?"

"Did you do that with your suspects too?"

"You're not a suspect, Sara."

"Right I can't call for a lawyer."

"And I've no rights to hold you."

"You could leave me here and take both horses home."

"Even you know I would never do that."

"That sounds like I'm retarded."

"No just stubborn and always thinking I want to do something bad to you."

"I don't think that."

"Not?"

"No. If I would think so I wouldn't ask you if I can stay a little bit longer than the two weeks I've booked. Is there a chance to extend my stay or is my place taken by somebody else?"

"You're not living in a bungalow, Sara."

"I know maybe you have plans for the room."

"We don't rent the room, we have sometimes helper sleeping in there."

"I can help you. You said there's a lot of work and it's hard to find people who are willing to help. If you take somebody who can't ride, has not really any ideas about horses, doesn't like being surrounded by many people and is weird, I can be the one you're looking for."

"You're on a sick leave, you can't work. Ecklie will give you the trouble of your life."

"I so don't care what Ecklie says and thinks. He's in Vegas, he'll never know."

"What's about France?"

"Huh?"

"You said you might fly to France in ten days."

"Grissom hasn't returned one of my calls, he has obviously no time and before I sit in France the whole time, alone and bored, I prefer to be here. I think I can spend a lot of time improving my riding skills."

"He's your husband."

"And I'm his wife. Maybe he'll remember that one day. Until he does I think I prefer to do something I enjoy. Sitting in Paris and staring out of the window isn't a thing I enjoy. Too many people, too many buildings. This is much better.

What do you say? If you don't want a helper, do you want a guest for another…let's say six weeks. That gives me one more week to go back to Vegas until I'm allowed to work again."

"We're fully booked with guests until the middle of September."

"Oh." Sara was disappointed. Of course they were booked, summer was coming up, this, was a great place and the space was very limited.

"But we can use some help." Sofia smiled. "As I said you can't work because you're on a sick leave but you can help. Do you know woofing?"

"No."

"It's exchanging work for accommodation and food. You work three to five hours a day, depends on where you are and what you do and get your room and your food for free. No taxes, no real work. It's common in other countries, a lot of young people do it to have cheaper holidays. You do that for two weeks, you don't have to spend money on food and a bed, the most expensive things. So yeah if you want you can be our woofer."

"Sounds like an experience to me. What do you want me to do?"

"First of all you've another week as a guest and I think we'll find something for you. You did a good job on the meadow, you can take care of the kids, help Jamie in the kitchen and with the rooms, there'll be plenty of work after we're full."

"I can work for my riding lessons too?"

"Without a problem. You want me to be your instructor?"

"Will you be as mean as you are as a guide?"

"I'm not mean."

"Some cultures might consider being pinned to a tree as a funny thing, in America it isn't something you enjoy."

"I'm sure there are a few guys out who would love to be pinned to a tree by me."

"Depends on what you promise them to do while they stand there and can't move."

"That depends on how nice they were to me. I might just take the gun and shoot them."

"I doubt that's a fantasy of them."

"Life is full of disappointments."

"And surprises. I'm very surprised that there's no guy in your life. Are they blind in town?"

"No but I'll take you to town one evening and you will see what guys in our age are available and you'll understand why I prefer to be single."

"That bad?"

"There's a really good reason why they're free. It's a small town, every half decent guy is married, if a guy is available that means he can't keep his pants on or he is as smart as…not the kind of guy you want to spend your time with. And when their eyes are more below my eyes than meeting my eyes I'm not interested."

"They don't look you in your eyes? Stupid guys, they're lovely blue."

"Apparently this lovely blue isn't as nice as the chance to look into my shirt."

"I saw you half naked, shall I talk to the guys? Tell them they don't miss anything?"

Sofia narrowed her eyes.

"Not?"

"Careful, Sidle."

"What? You're a grandmother, you…ouch! Stop pinching me!"

"When you stop being mean I'll stop pinching you."

"It will be six very painful weeks of being a woofer. Poor me."

"Be nice and you'll have no pain."

"I might consider that but a little bit of pain can be fun."

* * *

Later in her bed Sara thought about the day. Twelve hours with Sofia out in the national park, twelve hours and Sara had been through all feelings. Happiness when she felt the freedom riding towards the park, leaving everything her. Fear and exciting when Caza took her up the mountain and gave Sara her first gallop. What a strange feeling. She felt the freedom even more, she felt the power of the horse and she felt the fear that she might fall. Sadness when she was reminded of her past, together with anxiety when she lost herself in memories of her past, of her father.

She had almost open up to Sofia. Had no other choice. The blonde got her out of a flashback twice. She must have been wondering what was happening to Sara, what pictures were running in her mind. If Sofia thought Sara was nuts? Shacking out of the blue without any obvious reason. Freaking out because she held her when they were playing. A game Sara had started.

Somehow Sofia didn't ask. She had offered to listen. She had helped Sara to get out of her memories, to leave these nightmares. If she knew what happened to Sara? Did Sofia see the same things with Jamie? Could you count the obvious together and knew what Sara's father did to her? Would she talk to Sara about that? Or would she leave it, leave Sara in peace and not give her the pain of talking about it, remembering it.

Sara had talked about her past, she had seen this counselor and it hadn't helped her. She never felt like her counselor had understood what she had been through. She had to go to him, she had to talk to him otherwise she had lost her job.

Sofia had the chance to talk to Sara. She had hours to ask questions and she didn't. She accepted the request not to ask, not to talk about it. Damn it, maybe Sara would tell her one day. She would stay here a few more weeks.

Crazy. First she didn't want to go and now she had asked to stay longer, had offered her help and replaced her trip to France with the ranch. She had replaced Grissom, her husband, with Sofia and Sofia's family. What did that tell her about herself? Her relationship to Grissom? Her marriage? Was she giving up on it? Was she about to move on without her husband? Was she about to do something she would regret?

Fact was, Grissom hadn't called when she was in hospital. He hadn't called when she left it and drove up here. She had called him three times, had left voice messages, he hadn't called her back, hadn't left a message. Was his job more important to him? Was staying here her revenge? To show him that she had something else she could spend her time with. Look, I don't need you and France, I can stay here and have fun without you. I don't need you to be happy.

And she was happy. No doubt about it. For the first time in a long time she had felt happy when she was on Caza and the horse brought her to all these nice places. With each day she learnt more and more how to lead the horse, how to control it without forcing it into something she felt happier. What did Sofia say? About the happiness and the horse? The greatest happiness on earth is sitting in the saddle of a horse. Sara wasn't sure if it was the greatest happiness but it made her happy. She hoped she could keep Caza for these next six weeks.

Next to her horse were the kids. Especially Kieran. After he was that shy when they first met, he had become attached to her. And she enjoyed the time with him. Patrick was very focused on Sofia, as soon as his mother was around he forgot everybody else. Kieran was focused on Sara. He had to show her every little place on the ranch he had seen, had to tell her the names of all cats, dogs and horses, needed to know why she didn't have any pets and why she didn't come to Wyoming when his grandmother moved here.

Was being this close to Kieran a sign? Was her subconscious telling her she wanted a baby? If that the case somebody should tell her subconscious she needed to go to France, her husband was there. She needed a man for a child.

Grissom and her as a family? She couldn't see that. He had never been interested in children, neither had she. Children reminded her too often of her own childhood, all the things that had happened to her. She wasn't good with children. At least she had thought that all the time. It looked like Kieran didn't think so otherwise he wouldn't spend all this time with her.

Could she imagine to become a mother? Taking care of a baby, not going to work for a few months. Being a housewife, changing dirty diapers instead of investigating crime scenes? Or would Grissom stay at home and take care of the child? Unlikely, he didn't leave his job for five minutes to call his wife, why should he give up the work and stay at home with their child?

No, there was not such a thing like a whole family with Grissom. At the moment there was not even a real marriage with him. One more year, that was what he had told her the last time. Until the next summer, then his contract ended. They would offer him a new one, they couldn't get a better one than him. He would take the offer because it was his chance to teach, to work as a scientist and he didn't have to worry about paper work. All they wanted from him was doing research and making experiments. Everything he ever dreamed of.

* * *

Note of author: and if Bayern Munich wins the CL tomorrow I'll post an extra story after the match :-) Not an extra chapter, an new, extra story...no, I'm not obsessed with soccer/football *lol*


	13. Chapter 13

**Day 9 (Tuesday)**

"Cat! You'll be late again!" Sofia yelled up the stairs.

"No I won't." Cat came in her sleep-shirt down. "I've to start to the third hour. Two more hours of freedom for me."

"What? Damn."

"I'm glad you're happy for me, mom." Cat furrowed her brows.

"No, it's not because of you. I thought you'd take the boys to town, I need to drive to the national park, talk to the rangers about our trips to there."

"I'll take them to kindergarten." Sara offered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I wanted to go to town anyway. I can do that before I've my lesson so I'll see the town one time without pain."

"That would be great, thanks Sara. I can write the address down…write you a description how to get there, it's not that difficult…"

"Sofia, there are what? Five streets? I'll find my way, don't worry."

"Yeah, sure. Okay, I'm gone. I'll be back for the afternoon ride, Cat don't forget to go to school."

"I never forget to go to school."

"You ignore the fact, not much better. See you later. Thanks again Sara. Bye boys." Sofia kissed Cat, Pat and Kieran and left.

"She forgot me." Sara complained with a smirk.

"Huh? She said good-bye to you."

"She didn't kiss me good-bye."

"You want her to kiss you good-bye? Why? Are you hitting on my mom?"

"No." Sara laughed. "I was kidding. I let the boys kiss me good-bye later."

"They'll do that. Especially Kieran, he loves you."

"A smart man, aren't you Kieran?"

"Yes."

"It's obvious you don't share the DNA of the detective."

"What is 'NA? Tective?" Kieran looked confused at Sara.

"DNA, that's what's in your body, something only you have and nobody else. And a detective is your grandmother. She used to work as a detective in Las Vegas, kept the streets safe. Thanks to her a lot of bad people are in prison now. She was a very good detective, one of the best Vegas ever had."

"Tective good."

"Yes a very good one."

"Nana tective."

"Yes."

"Tective! Bang! Bang!" He used his hands a gun and ran up the stairs, Patrick behind him.

"Now you've given him a new word. He'll call mom 'Tective' for the rest of the day."

"That's alright with me. She might like it better than grandmother. That makes her so old."

"She doesn't look like a grandmother. I know a guy I go to school with, he has a crush on my mother. That's somehow embarrassing. To hear the guys talking how hot your mother is."

"They are certainly right. I'm sure she turns a lot of heads in town."

"She does. But she says 'no' the whole time, you should take her out on Friday."

"Why?"

"She can use some time away from the farm and be a woman. Take her to the pub, have some beer, one of us will get you back home. After you had a lot of fun with or without the men in town."

"I thought she'll do the weekend ride."

"Nah, I'll do that. In fact, I'll be out on Friday night. You and mom have dinner in town, a few beer and I take you home around eleven."

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Sara laughed. Usually the mother takes the daughter home on a Friday night and not the other way around.

"It should, yes. You get my mother a boyfriend and it will be the other way around. She has been alone long enough."

"I'm not sure if you're mother agrees on that."

"Since when do you care what she wants?"

"We didn't have any trouble since I'm here I'd like to keep it like that."

"You won't tell me funny stories about her? Something that happened to her in Vegas? What kind of guys did she date?"

"I can't remember seeing her dating any men at all. She was all business."

"No fun?"

"I'm sure there were men in her life but none of them was important enough that she mentioned them. If they existed. I don't know anything about any boyfriend."

"Anything funny she did? At work?"

"One suspect called her 'too pretty to be a cop'."

"He's right on that. I mean when you see cops on TV they don't look like mom, she looks like a movie star and not like a cop, shooting people and kicking your ass for speeding."

"She'll do that to you if you ever get caught or drink driving."

"I don't drink alcohol."

"Not?"

"No."

"Because you're not twenty-one?" Sara cocked her head.

"Because it doesn't taste good and I prefer to have a clear head. Alcohol makes you act stupid and weird. I prefer to have control over me and my body. I fought for years to be in control about me, to make my decisions, to do what I want to do, I don't want to drink anything that will make me lose this control I wanted so bad."

"I'm sure there're people in school who don't understand that."

"A lot of people don't understand that, I don't care. I don't want to be the two nights of the weekend drunk. I couldn't do the rides if I would. Mom counts on me, she needs my help on the weekends I'm not a big help during the week because of school and she wants me to make my homework rather than helping her. That means also I've not a lot of time for riding and I love riding. It's not work for me to spend a day with people out in the national park or somewhere else, it's fun. I like being with people, I love people, I enjoy that. And my best friend, Ginger, you met on the weekend, she's the same. We prefer to have the rides and a quiet evening. I need time for my paintings, she writes poems. Sometimes one of her poems inspires me to a picture, sometimes my pictures inspire her to a poem. If there are no guests we take the horses and have an afternoon somewhere, she writes and I draw."

"And your boyfriend?"

"He isn't my boyfriend."

"He didn't ask you out? Stupid guy."

"No." Cat smiled a bit. "He said there was no good movie on, but this weekend there's a great one. He had asked if I want to go out on Friday night for some burgers and a movie after that. Only him and me."

"That's better than going to the movies with all the others."

"Yes…you think mom will be cool about that?"

"I think if you tell what you told me, she'll be cool, if you try to hide your date she'll be suspicious will try to find out why."

"Not her business?"

"She's your mother. Add to that she's a former CSI and cop, it was her job for years to find out secrets. Everything is her business."

"She'll tell me she wants to talk to him."

"Are you ashamed of your mother?" Sara chuckled. That was something new. It had looked so far like Sofia's children were very close to their mother.

"No! But what if she doesn't like him?"

"He's your boyfriend not hers."

"She can tell me not to see him again."

"What will make you lie to her, meet him behind her back and lose your trust in her. She will never risk that. She'll tell you if she doesn't like him but she won't tell you not to meet him. There has to be a very good reason if she tells you to stay away."

"He's not doing drugs when you talk about that. He's…special…cute…I don't know. Not like the other boys…do you know what I mean?"

"I think so."

"How is your husband?"

"Not like the other husbands." Sara said dryly.

"You don't sound that happy about that."

"I liked it, I really did. Grissom…he's special, always have, always will. The problem is, he lives for and in his work. I was the same as your mom will tell you when you ask her."

"They sent you here because you had two break downs within a few days."

"They didn't send me here, I wanted to go here. They told me to stay away from work, to get a hobby, learn a new skill, I picked horseback riding and your mom's cousin gave me this address. I came here because I wanted, I could have gone anywhere else."

"And now you'll stay."

"Yes. Are you alright with that?"

"Sure. Beside the fact that we need some help you can make mom think of something else than the farm. I saw her looking at some old photos the other night. You guys should talk about good old times." Good old times? They didn't have a lot of good old times in common. They had some funny moments together but not being friends, they didn't have what people called 'good old times' together.

"We did that on Saturday when we had our ride."

"Good. Even you weren't friends as mom told me, you seem to enjoy your time together now."

"I hope Sofia does."

"Do you?"

"Yes." Yes Sara enjoyed her time her, she enjoyed spending time with Sofia. It surprised her a bit. Seeing the blonde first she thought she had to leave the place right away. Too many memories. A second thought told her it was nice to have somebody here she knew. Somebody who knew her, who wouldn't ask questions she wasn't suppose to asked. The idea that she had ended up in a place you had to talk all the time, tell people your life, had given Sara some nightmares before she left to here. Finding Sofia she knew, there was no need to tell where she was from, what she did for a living.

"Then it's good that you stay. Or do you have anything better to do?"

Before Sara could answer Kieran came down the stairs, ready for kindergarten.

"Tective! Tective! Bang! Bang! Bad man dead. Tective wins. Nana tective."

"Detective, Kieran. You can call her Detective Delicious."

Cat held back a laughter. Her mother would kill Sara with her bare hands if she found out what Sara was teaching Kieran. Just imagine Sofia's face when she had Kieran with her in the supermarket and the boy was calling for her through the hole shop, calling for Detective Delicious. Oh Cat would give a lot to see and hear that.

"Tective Licious. Tective Licious. Bang!" He climbed on Sara's lap, hugged her and gave her a kiss.

"Kindergarten?"

"Yes we'll get Pat and then I'll bring you to kindergarten."

"Yeah. Tective Licious." He smiled and jumped up and down.

Sara grinned. Anything better to do? Better than this? No, not at all. She couldn't imagine that she had anywhere more fun than here with this little boy.

* * *

"Miss Sidle!"

Sara stopped. She was about to get Caza from the meadow for her afternoon ride. When she turned Sofia was coming up to her. The look on Sofia's face told her, the blonde had something to say, something Sara didn't want to hear.

"It's Misses Sidle if you don't want to call me Misses Grissom."

"Miss Sidle!"

Sara cocked her head. Did she do anything that made Sofia call her this?

"Miss Curtis?"

"You!" Sofia poked her index finger in Sara's chest.

"Ouch." Sara tried to back off but Sofia followed her.

"What are you doing?"

"What did you do?" Sofia countered.

"Huh? I've no idea what you're talking of."

"Not? Do I have to help your brain? It will make it worse."

"What…?"

"Detective Delicious?"

"Det…oh…" Sara laughed. Kieran had called his grandmother 'Detective Delicious'. Sara had no idea that the boy liked these two words so much. He had repeated them all the way to the kindergarten, Sara expected Pat to start with them too. Seems like Kieran had remembered them and called his grandmother detective delicious.

"You think that's funny?"

"Does he say 'detective delicious' or 'tective licious'?"

"Does that makes any difference?"

"Yes, it sounds so sweet."

"A detective isn't sweet, a detective protects and serves."

"You're retired…ouch."

"Stop suggesting I'm old."

"I didn't suggest that. You don't work as a detective anymore."

"I'm not retired and I'm not an old grandmother."

"No, you're Detective Deli…ouch." Sara rubbed her chest. She would get a bruise if Sofia goes on like this.

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"I should leave you somewhere in the wilderness tonight and hope that a bear comes along and eats you."

"What's about Caza?"

"I'll take my horse home, you can walk until the bear eats you."

"Protect and serve."

"Bite me!"

"I could do that but you'll arrest for assaulting an off…detective if I do so."

"You think you're smart, smarty-pants?"

"Oh Sofia." Sara chuckled.

"What?"

"I wish we had fought like this years ago."

"What?"

"You know instead of bitching around, This is much more fun."

"You're not taking me serious."

"Right now? No I don't take you serious, I'm sorry. Want a hug?"

"You're strange, Sara Sidle."

"I know detective delicious."

"You…" Before Sofia could poke Sara again the brunette pulled the blonde in her arms. This way Sofia couldn't poke her anymore. And having embrace her arms around Sara show the brunette, the blonde wasn't really mad.

"I am right, am I not?"

"What will the kindergarten teacher thinks when Kieran calls me detective delicious?"

"I assume they're not blind so they'll see he's right. Come on, he is so cute when he calls you 'tective' and plays detective, catching bad guys. I'm sure he's proud of you. You're a heroine and he can spend every day with you."

"Something here isn't good for you, makes you strange. And now let me go before I hurt you."

"You'd never hurt me. You're not capable of hurting me."

"You think."

"I know." Sara let Sofia go and smiled.

"Why do you teach Kieran things like that?"

"Because they're true. Come on, Detective Delicious, I want my evening ride."

"I should really leave you in the forest."

"You won't, we both know that. Shall I help you with the horses?"

"You're still a guest."

"See it as a making up for telling Kieran something about you."

"Are you playing with me, Sara?"

"Only a little bit."

"At least you're honest."

"That's what I'm saying all the time…"

"Don't." Sofia stopped her with a smile. "There are people coming up to us and I don't want the guests hear you calling me this new nickname."

"Such a nice and fitting one."

"We'll talk about this later, Miss Sidle."

"Are we?"

"Yes. You won't get out of trou…this thing this easy." Sofia didn't want to say the word 'trouble' anymore. She could remember what it did to Sara on Saturday and as long as she didn't know what triggered this shock, she didn't want to repeat this word too often.

"We'll see. When I have some time to prepare myself for a fight I'm fine with it. I need some protection otherwise you'll stab me with your finger."

"You won't get protection, you'll get cuffed."

"Only in your dirty fantasy."

"You are not a part of my fantasy."

"Not? Shame." Sara blinked and bopped Sofia softly.

"You know what good is?" Sofia stopped instead of opening the gate to let the horses out they needed for the ride.

"What?"

"You're smiling, you're happy. That's what you're here for, get your head clean and be happy again. I've never seen you that happy and relaxed, Sara. I know you love your job, you live for it, but it looks to me like you're for the first time happy and relaxed. It's good to see you like that."

"I've been happy and relaxed before, but you're right, it's very seldom that I'm like that. When I work I'm happy but I'm not relaxed, so yes, this is something special. You're a part of the reason why I am that happy and relaxed. This holiday wouldn't be the same when you weren't there. And the kids. Nature and horses are great but you and your family are what make my holiday special and perfect."

"You're getting soft." Sofia smiled.

"Awful, isn't it?"

"No, I like it. Can you take two of the horses? I'll take two and the rest will follow us."

"No problem. To where will you guide us?"

"Where would you like to go to?"

"A place where we've a nice view. I like lookouts."

"Alright, I'll choose a nice one. Got your camera?"

"Yes."

"Good. I want to see the photos later."

"Okay, detective…"

"Sara!"

"Detective. All I wanted to say was detective." Sara smirked. Maybe this was a lie, a tiny little lie. Detective Delicious was really firm with her name. Grandmother Curtis.


	14. Chapter 14

**Day 12 (Friday)**

Shopping in Alice's Town was different to shopping in Las Vegas. Sara had been twice in the supermarket this week and both times she had the same woman waiting for her at the check-out and she even met two people again. Unlike Las Vegas people greeted her here, no matter that they didn't know her. Oh well the woman at the check-out had talked to her for a few minutes when she was in the shop on Tuesday. Now she knew every little shop in this town and every business. The name of the owner and their partner…or at least she heard all these names, she didn't remember them.

All Sara got today was some beer, her favorite vegie burger and a lot of tofu. As a little surprise for Kieran and Pat she bought two bars of chocolate. She wanted to get the boys home today so that nobody else had to drive to town.

Leaving her stuff in the car she stepped out and waited in front of the kindergarten. Some mother walked past her, smiled and got their children out. Sara had no idea if she was allowed to walk around the premises and she had no idea where to find Kieran. She would stay here and wait.

Ten minutes later Kieran came out of the building with a woman. When he saw Sara a big smile appeared on his face, he got his hand out of the woman's hand and ran toward Sara.

"Kieran!" The woman tried to stop him.

"Sara! Sara! Sara!" Sara got down on her knees, opened her arms and has seconds later the boy in her arms.

"Sara." He hugged her held on to her.

"Hello my big boy, how are you? How was the last day in kindergarten? It's time for holidays now."

"Excuse me, who are you?"

"Sara Sidle, I'm a friend of the family and wanted to get Kieran home."

"Jon called me that you'll pick him up, otherwise it wouldn't be possible. I need to see an I.D. anyway."

"Sure, no problem." Sara understood that they didn't let the children leave with somebody they didn't know. She got her I.D. out of her pocket.

"Las Vegas?"

"Sofia and me used to work together." This was a small town, she was sure the kindergarten teacher knew who Sofia was.

"You're here for a holidays?"

"Yes. Some time out from Las Vegas. Kieran, I've got something for you in the car. You can choose between the green and the blue package, only one of them, okay?"

"Kay." She let him down and he ran to the car.

"Chocolate."

"He'll love getting picked up by you even more than he already did."

"What is special when I pick him up when it's not the chocolate?"

"All the children get picked up by their mothers, Kieran is the only one who doesn't. His aunt comes along, sometimes his father or grandmother but there's never a mother waiting for him. Seeing you here today, it seemed like he saw his mother. He was so excited when I told him you would pick him up. It was the first time that he didn't look sad when he saw the other children picked up by their mothers."

"I'm not his mother." Sara had to swallow. This boy was so excited to see her that he forgot to be sad because his mother left him. It was nice to know but she was here only temporary. When her time here was over and she had to go back to Las Vegas, would it be hard for Kieran? She didn't want him to be unhappy.

"No, you're not but he likes you very much."

"I know him less than two weeks." And she felt like she knew him for ages. It was hard to think of that she wouldn't see him after the summer, when she was back in Las Vegas. She had to come back, she had to see Kieran again. There was no way she could leave the boy after he got so attached to her.

"Than you did something very right or you're very good with children."

"I played with him, I spend time with him and tell him stories about his grandmother in Las Vegas. I guess all little boys like stories of heroes who catch bad boys."

"And you're surprised he is that attached to you? You did everything a boy wants. He won't let you go home anymore."

"He's cute I might take him with me."

"I'm not sure his father will let you take his son away."

"That might be a problem but I've a few weeks to solve that problem."

"Sara!"

"I'm coming, Sweetie. Time to go and get the next boy. Have a nice holidays."

"You too. Enjoy Wyoming."

"I do." Sara walked to the car where she found Kieran sitting on the passenger's seat. His face was covered in chocolate.

"I didn't tell this dirty boy to get into the car, where's my Kieran?"

"Here." He smiled.

"I've to clean you, I can't take you home like this. Your father will smack my backside."

"Dad likes Sara."

"I like your dad too. Unfortunately that won't help me when he sees you like this. Come on, get on the backseat, we'll get Pat."

"Next to Sara."

"No Kieran, you'll sit on the backseat and you'll wear your seatbelt."

"Eatelt stupid."

"No your seatbelt isn't stupid, your seatbelt is very important. Without it you can be very bad hurt if we have an accident. Come on, be a good boy. Please."

"Sara too?"

"I'll wear my seatbelt too, yes." She got Kieran on the backseat, made him wear his seatbelt and drove to the day care center to get Patrick. With Kieran on her hand she walked in the building. Kieran knew where to go and guided her straight to Patrick.

"Hi I'm Sara Sidle, I'm here to pick Patrick up." She greeted the woman at the reception. Kieran had already seen his uncle and walked to him.

"Pat, home."

"I need your I.D. please."

"Sure."

"You're a relative?"

"A friend of Pat's mother."

"From Vegas."

"Yes we worked together."

"You're a cop?"

"No, a crime scene investigator. Same side of the fence."

"Sofia used to work as a CSI too, she told me ones."

"Yeah we were on the same shift. The police department's gain was our loss." Sara surprised herself by saying that. She had no problems to refer herself as a friend of Sofia, their relationship had changed from colleagues, or ex colleagues, to friends. But calling her leave the CSI lab a loss was something new. It was true but sometimes it could surprise her to hear this truth.

"Sara." Patrick came to her and she took him on her arms.

"Hey my blonde angel. Are you ready to come home?"

"Mom?"

"Your mother is at home. We'll prepare the dinner with Jamie and your mom will be back soon."

"Riding?"

"You want to ride? Well, we can see if you can have a ride before it's dinner time. Until that you can ride on my shoulders, do you want that?"

"Yes."

Sara took the boy and sat him on her shoulders.

"Don't show him things like this, he'll expect me to do the same."

"I won't be able to do that with him next summer, he'll be too big."

"You'll have to explain to him."

"I thought children want to be big, he should be happy when I tell him he's too big."

"Children are not different than adults. They want to be big if it helps them and babies if that gets them faster to what they want."

"True." Sara laughed. Children and adults wanted to pick the best parts of their age and were looking for ways to get the other things.

* * *

"And you wonder why Kieran calls you 'Tective Licious'." Sara smiled when Sofia came out of her room. She wore a white suit and her hair felt softly over her shoulders. After Cat had annoyed both women for a long time they had agreed on going out together tonight.

"I'm not a detective anymore."

"But you are delicious?" Sara grinned.

"I can take compliments and won't argue about that. You look not too bad yourself. I didn't know you packed something like this."

Sara looked down on herself. She wore a tight black jeans and a flannel shirt she had bought when she had been shopping in the afternoon. Officially she had been into town to get the boys home, unofficially she had been shopping for tonight. And she thought if she was in the wild north west of her country, she needed to look like a cowgirl.

"Thanks. I thought I fits the town."

"Wow, you both look great." Jon came out of his room. He had allowed Pat and Kieran to play computer for half an hour.

"Thanks. Are you alright here?"

"Mom, you're out for dinner and a few drinks, you'll be back in a couple of hours. We'll be fine."

"I've my cell phone with me, if anything…"

"Mom, we'll manage these four hours. Without a problem. Go out and have some fun. Sara, help her find a boyfriend."

"Jon!"

"What? A wonderful woman like you shouldn't be wasted being a single. Sara, I want a smart man for my mother. Decent looking, doesn't have to be a Mister Universe, it's more important that he has a good heart and a brain he uses. Mom needs somebody who is smart, who can have a conversation about more than football and beer, who is interested in many things, who won't try to tie to the house, who accepts that she's an independent woman and doesn't mind her huge family. Not a drunk, not a gambler, not playboy…"

"Jon, we won't find a guy like that, they don't exist." Sara sighed.

"I'm stand right in front of you, Babe, but I'm her son you need to find somebody like me."

"You're just as arrogant as she is." Sara laughed.

"I'm not arrogant." Sofia protested.

"Smug."

"I should stay here…"

"You two go now. Have fun." Jon kissed his mother and Sara. "I want to see you tipsy when you're back. Not drunk but not sober either."

"We know what we do." Sofia said.

"We partied in Las Vegas, don't worry about us." Sara giggled.

"I'll be awake when you're back."

"Now he sounds like a father who let his daughter go out for the first time." Sofia hugged her oldest son one more time and left the house with Sara. Time to go to town, for a dinner and a few drinks in a pub. It was Friday night, there would be a lot of people around. They had reserved a table in a good steak house that also served salads and after that they would choose between a pool hall, a pub with dance music or a kind of club they both knew they would be too old for.


	15. Chapter 15

"I think this is the first dinner in a long, long time I have here in town." Sofia leant back in her chair and took a sip of her wine.  
"You look like you enjoy it."  
"I do. And I look forward to my steak. They make a fantastic steak here, huge and there is a lot of salad with it."  
"Good salad?"  
"Yes." Sofia smiled. Sara had ordered a mixed salad with lettuce, corn, tomato, cucumber, pepper, cheese, egg, red beans, onions and fresh bread with it. It was a big portion, Sofia had the salad herself a couple of times.  
"I think it's the first time that I'm here with a friend. Usually I'm here with my family or with a lover."  
"Is that good or bad?"  
"Being here with a friend? It's good. More relaxing. No need to tell somebody to sit straight, not to poke the sibling, not to yell and order something else than ice cream. And no reason for tensions because it's somebody you want to impress, no need to think if I want to take my company home. It's simply nice."  
"You don't take me home?"  
"No, my daughter will take us home."  
"Talking about your lovely daughter, I can see her outside and she looks like she's coming to here. She misses her mother already."  
"What?" Sofia turned around. Cat was suppose to have a date with her boyfriend, soon to be boyfriend or whatever he was. Cat and a tall boy with longish black hair came into the steak house. After a short look around Cat found her mother and walked to her, the boy right behind her.  
"Hey mom."  
"Is everything alright, Cat?"  
"Sure, everything is perfect. I thought you might want to meet Dan. Dan that's my mom and a friend of hers, Sara."  
"Hello."  
"Hi Dan." Sofia was amused. This shy guy was a musician? She had planed to go to cop modus when she met the suitor of her daughter for the first time. Seeing him here, standing behind Cat, stepping from one foot to other because he was so nervous, she knew, there was no need to play bad ass cop. A firm look would be enough for her to scare this boy off. What an easy game.  
"I thought you might want to know with whom your daughter is having burgers and watch a movie, ma'am."  
"Very thoughtful, Dan." Sofia let her eyes run up and down the young man like she was looking for anything illegal.  
"She had seen you now, that should be enough. Have fun, don't drink too much...no, Sara, made her drunk. I want to see her dancing on the table when I pick you up later."  
"I'll try." Sara chuckled. "Enjoy your burgers and the movie."  
"Thanks. Bye."  
"Bye." Dan mumbled before Cat pulled him away.  
Sara waited until they were alone again.  
"You are so mean!"  
"Me? I haven't done anything. I was nice and polite, didn't tell anybody what to do and what not to do. I was a really good mother." Sofia grinned.  
"You knew from the first moment this guy is scared of you. If Cat hadn't held his hand he would have ran away. And when you eyed him like a suspect, like you were scanning him for illegals, he wanted to be a ,mouse and vanish in a mouse hole. You were such a mean prick, detective."  
"I made sure my daughter is fine and her boyfriend isn't messing around. I think he got the message what will happen if he does."  
"He got that message and the message that every cop in the States will be after him if he makes one wrong step tonight. He won't touch Cat, he won't look at her, damn, he might even have a spare seat between them."  
"You're overdo it."  
"No and you know that."  
"I think I haven't forgotten everything, have I?"  
"I'd say you're getting better. I've to take you back to Vegas."  
"Nice try, I'll stay. There's enough work for me here."  
"Poor Cat. Her boyfriend will never visit her."  
"If he such a pussy and scared that easily, he doesn't deserve my daughter. I was nice, I might have had a longer look at him to make sure he's alright but I was nice."  
"Yeah, cop nice."  
"Want to follow them and hold his hand in case he's crying?"  
"No I'll leave that to Cat."  
"I don't think my daughter wants a whiny pussy."  
"Your language has to improve, Sofia."  
"Sorry. If she's happy with him it's fine with me. I prefer to know a guy is scared of me and will keep his hands off my daughter than I've to worry the whole time what he is doing to her."  
"And you trust Cat as much as your mom trusted you?" Sara smiled amused.  
"I trust her a hell lot of more than my mom trusted me. She isn't as bad as I was and if you ever tell her that I'll kill you, Sara. I'll let you suffer before I feed the little pieces of you to my dogs."  
"That's what I call a cozy dinner under friends. The Italian style."  
"I call it talking straight."  
"Whatever. We should change the topic, I can see our food is coming and I'd like to have something nicer, lighter than talking about how you plan to kill me."  
"I didn't order a bloody steak if that's calming you."  
"It does a bit."

* * *

"Where do you want to go now?" Sara asked after they had finished their dinner, a dessert and two pints of beer.  
"I don't know? Do you want to dance? With all the kids. Or shoot some pool? Have some more beer in a pub around the corner and watch sport?"  
"Sounds all like places you can get drunk but not talk."  
"Yes, they're all loud, crowded and well...you shouldn't go there with cop's eyes."  
"What do you think of staying here?"  
"Don't you want to see more of the town?"  
"I'm fine with sitting here. It's you we need to find a boyfriend for, I've a husband."  
"And I'm happy being single."  
"Looks like we can stay here."  
"Yeah. I'll order two more beer...we can go to the movies."  
"Cat will kill you and I could absolutely understand her."  
"She sits on the left, we're in the middle and her sissy on the right side."  
"You are cruel mother, Sofia. What do you do when your sons bring a girl home? Are you as charming to here as you are to Dan?"  
"I wish Jamie would bring a girl home. He sits the whole time there, doesn't go out. If he's not in the kitchen or working anywhere else, he sits at his computer and talks to whoever on the internet. I'd be over the moon if he brings a girl home. Hasn't happened so far."  
"Gay."  
"I don't think so and even if he is, he can bring a boy home. I don't care as long as he is happy and not a loner."  
"He's surrounded by people the whole day I can understand when he wants some quiet time in the evening."  
"Reminds you of yourself?"  
"A bit."  
"Great a geek."  
"Yeah the acting supervisor was of course a bad student at school."  
"I was a straight A student but I made the life of my teachers and my mother to hell by being not a good girl. Bringing home only A's helps you get out of trouble faster. That's why I kept bringing them home. My mom was furious because some of her colleagues picked me up drinking in a pub but dad said as long as I bring home only As it's not that bad."  
"No skipping school?"  
"Only unnecessary things like sport and classes nobody cared if you're there or not."  
"Okay he is not like you. He got the A marks and stayed at home."  
"Yes. I want him to have fun, I don't want him to miss out something. He doesn't want to go to college, I don't want him to end up here, without a diploma. Can't force him to go to college either. He could have gone to Harvard with his marks but...children."  
"He told me he is happy here. He doesn't want it any other way. He knows you would love to see him at a college and have success, it's not important to him."  
"I know and he's suppose to live his life the way he wants after he couldn't do that in his childhood. But...I don't know."  
"You ever talked to him about an online university?"  
"Huh?"  
"You know, he can study things online, be an online student. He does his homework on the ranch, studies there and goes to wherever his university is for a few days a year to make his tests. This way he'll get a diploma without leaving the ranch. If he wants UCLV he can stay at my place while he has his tests or I'm sure your mother takes him too."  
"That would be an idea." Sofia had to think about that. That gave Jamie the opportunity to stay and to study at the same time. He would need more time for his study, couldn't help that much anymore but that wasn't that important. More important was to have him a diploma at the end.  
"I'll talk about that with him. Thanks."  
"You're welcome. Wasted talent is as ad thing and your kids are full of talents."  
"They are. Cat and her plans to study medicine, her amazing talents to draw pictures. I sometimes have to think if I'm happy that she wants to study medicine and not art. Then the sensible part of me tells me, she won't earn any money being an artist, at least, she'll have to fight a lot until she gets anything. And it's a nice hobby."  
"She can sell her pictures while she is a vet and if she earns enough money she can stop working as a vet and be an artist."  
"She loves animals too much to stop working as a vet."  
"As long as she's happy..."  
"I'm happy too."  
"See. What about Jon?"  
"Jonny...I don't know. He is so involved in the ranch, he loves being a guide, he loves working with animals, working with his hands. He is perfect here even if I wish sometimes he'd go somewhere else, do something else only to have as many good experiences as he can get. He won't do that, he wants Kieran to have a steady life. Can't force him to go because I think he's right, it's not good for children to move around from place to place. They have never a chance to make friends if they don't stay at the same place."  
"He's happy where he is and what he's doing."

"I know…I just want him…I don't know. He's so young it's waste that he stays at home. He should go out, travel the country, the world if he wants and not sit at home. He should find a girl, somebody who loves him, who loves Kieran and understands why he wants to stay on the farm, why he isn't a city person. He needs somebody who wants to have a family, who loves the simple things in life and who doesn't care about his past. You know, all of my kids are the 'foster kids' here. Most people don't see them as my kids, they see them as fosters. When Jon was younger every time there was some trouble in town somebody tried to frame that on him. That might be a reason why Jamie doesn't go out. Jon could handle that, Jamie can't. And Cat? She's lucky to be a girl but I'm afraid sooner or later they'll try to frame something on her too.

And when Jon's girlfriend ran away after Kieran's birth a lot of people blamed him. He had destroyed her life, he had made her run away. It took two years until people understood Jon didn't make her run, that he – like his son – is a victim. Jon never complained, he never says anything bad about Kieran's mother but I know he's disappointed. Not because she left him but because she left their son. There's nothing Kieran wishes more for than a mother. All kids have mothers only he hasn't. He asked me one day why his mother hated him so much that she ran away. What he did wrong. It broke my heart and after I told him he didn't do anything wrong and his mother doesn't hate him, I had to cry the whole night. I know Kieran wonders about her, I know he asks Jon frequently about her and I've no idea what Jon tells him to cheer him up, to make him feel loved."

"He's very sensitive."

"They all three are. They try to hide it but you can see it when you talk to them."

"It was pretty obvious."

"You're a good CSI, you're used to observe people. I'm sure most guest don't see what you see."

"Maybe." Sara took Sofia's hand. "No matter how difficult life had been for them and how difficult it will be, they've one thing they can always rely on: you. And they know that, Sofia. No matter what people tell them, what they call them, they know you love them unconditional and that weights more than anything else."

"I hope you're right."

"As you said I'm a good CSI means I'm always right."

"Who's the smug one now?"

"It's always you."

"Tell me again why I allow you to stay."

"You need the help."

"Yeah must be something like that." Sofia smiled and pressed Sara's hand shortly before she let go of it. "Care to tell me why you changed your mind?"

"I didn't change my mind I never said I stay only two weeks."

"You were supposed to fly to France, you changed that."

"Let's say I've the feeling Caza enjoy the time with me more than Grissom does. Or no, let me rephrase that: Caza has some time for me and Grissom won't. I'll end up sitting alone in the apartment and I don't want that anymore. I think staying here is much better for me. Your cousin will agree on that."

"Since when do you care for your health?"

"Since I started horseback riding."

"Which you didn't do today; besides your lesson."

"It was my day off."

"Care for a longer ride tomorrow?"

"I thought Cat is doing a ride for the group and I'm still not good enough for them."

"What do you think of a picnic? They say it will be hot tomorrow. We'll take the carriage, the boys and a picnic and go down to the river."

"You take a day off again?"

"An afternoon of. I might change that into work, preparing a fire, take some potatoes with us and make dinner. Cat can bring the guests down, Jamie can bring some drinks and we'll all have an evening at the fire, eat potatoes and a few steaks. You can see it as your first day as a woofer."

"I'm a paying guest tomorrow."

"You'll get a day off while you're woofing. I'm sure you want to go to Yellow Stone National Park while you're here."

"I do." That trip had been part of her plans since she was here. So far there hadn't been any time to go for a whole day away. All her days were filled with riding lessons or rides. As a woofer she could take a day off and go hiking.

"Choose a nice day for that and go."

"Okay….do you have a carriage?"

"I do…western style. You can wear a fancy hat."

"I don't own a fancy hat."

"A long skirt?"

"No."

"You won't be a fancy south state lady then."

"I'm still Billy the kid. Do Kirundi and Caza like the carriage?"

"They're alright with it. Kieran can take his pony, we've all the time in the world, I might walk next to him the two miles. And take Pat on Kirundi for a ride later. Can't let him sit alone on a pony."

"He'll enjoy Kirundi."

"Yes he will."

"Do you teach me how to drive a carriage?" Another skill to learn. How cool will that be? Sara could tell Greg she was able to drive a carriage when she was back in Las Vegas. Okay, she couldn't do that in Vegas, but who cared?

"I will, it's pretty easy."

"Even I can do it?"

"You'll be perfect by the end of the day."

Sara cocked her head. "You've never been that nice to me in Vegas."

"You didn't deserve it." Sofia smirked.

"That's hard."

"But true."

"I should order a new beer, maybe it makes you friendlier."

"Do I get some chocolate with my beer?"

"That's disgusting."

"No it isn't. Chocolate is never disgusting. That brings a great idea to me: I'll ask Jamie to bake us a cake. A picnic needs a cake. What kind of cake would you like?"

"Something with fruits."

"Cherry and chocolate. He'll find something like that. Or cheesecake with mandarins."

"Don't give him more work."

"Baking isn't work for him, it's relaxing. He can make a big cake, enough for the guests as a dessert after their dinner."

"You're trying to find some excuses why he had to bake a cake tomorrow."

"Yes." Sofia smiled. And she was sure, she found some really good reason why Jamie had to bake a cake.


	16. Chapter 16

**Day 13 (Saturday)**

It was supposed to be her last day today. Last full day before the long drive back to Las Vegas would start. That was what Sara had planed when she booked her two weeks here in Wyoming, before she had found out Sofia owned the place she stayed and – much more important – before she found out how much she enjoyed it here.

After her evening with Sofia in town and a long sleep she felt ready for a new adventure. The carriage.

"Billy the kid didn't use a carriage." Jon stepped behind Sara when she was watching the carriage.

"Don't sneak up on me!" Sara tuned around. She hadn't heard him coming and was scared for a second.

"Bad conscience?

"Funny sunny boy."

"You like sunny boys."

"Do I?"

"Yes." He stepped in her personal space.

"What are you doing?" She felt a little bit strange having him that close.

"Nervous?"

"I face killer you don't scare me."

"I didn't say I scare you I asked if I make you nervous but you don't need to answer that. I've got something for you."

"What?" He was still standing very close to her.

"Close your eyes."

"Dream on."

"Come on, there's no reason not to trust me."

"You think?"

"I know. Come on Sara, I won't do anything that makes you slap me. I'm too scared. As a CSI you've a gun too."

"So do you."

"You're better with it."

"Yours is here, mine is in Vegas."

"Oh come on, don't be such a coward. Close your eyes."

"I dare you…" Sara closed her eyes. She would hurt him and she would hurt him hard if did something she didn't like.

Something landed on her head.

"You can open your eyes again."

Sara got her hand on her head. A hat. She put it down. A cowboy hat.

"I thought you need your own one."

"What's that?" She let her fingers run over a tooth.

"A bear tooth."

"I hope you didn't shoot it."

"I don't shoot animals. The ranger found it dead in the national park and he gave me some teeth as a souvenir. I made three heads like this and two collars. Kieran has a another hat, so has mom. Cat and Jamie have the collars."

"Why do you give the third hat to me instead of keeping it for yourself?"

"Messes up my hair."

"Like his mother." Sara laughed. She didn't believe him but she was happy to have the hat.

"She wears her hat."

"You wear helmets when you're riding."

"I can't tell the guests and my son it's necessary and don't wear them myself. My poor hair complains all the time. It would look much better when I ride without a helmet, my hair flying in the wind…like a hero in a movie."

"Sure. He-Man."

"Do you want to be my She-ra?"

"She-ra is blond, ask your mom."

"I'd prefer to have you as my heroic sister."

"The detective is the hero the CSI cleans up behind him."

"You could be a hero."

"No I prefer to be in the background. It's safer."

"Coward."

"Smart."

"I won't argue with you. I'm here to help you with the carriage. Mom is preparing the dinner and your afternoon tea."

"Okay. What do we have to do?"

"We'll pull it out."

"Is it heavy?"

"No we can do it without a problem." He packed the singletree and lifted it. Together with Sara it was no problem to get the carriage out.

"It's a trolley."

"Huh?"

"This kind of carriage. Perfect for small goods and people."

"And not too heavy for Kirundi and Caza."

"If we can pull it they won't have a problem. Don't worry, your horse will be fine."

"I hope so. I like my tom-boy."

"That's obvious. So we don't have to give you another horse for the next six weeks?"

"Only if you want her for somebody else."

"You are used to her, there's no reason to give you another horse. She'll make you feel like flying when you have your next gallop."

"I prefer to walk, more relaxing."

"You'll change your mind after a few gallops."

"I'm glad that I manage to feel more or less safe when she's trotting."

"You'll say the same about the canter."

"One day."

"You'll love to gallop before you leave here. Want to bet?"

"What if I don't?"

"I owe you a favor."

"Means I owe you a favor if I do. I can always tell you I don't like it."

"You don't cheat and I can see if you enjoy a gallop or not. It will be written all over your face."

"Deal. Six weeks. Don't try to force me to have lessons twice a day."

"I won't. You need your time for work. The meadows are waiting."

"I don't mind that job, it's relaxing, I'm out with the animals and nobody annoys me. Really nice job."

"I'll show you the fence job next week you will like that one too. Only Caza and you."

"The higher area?"

"Not alone."

"You don't trust me?"

"I don't want to risk anything. There's no signal for your cell phone. We don't check these areas alone, I'll join you and we'll take a dog with us. If something happens you'll feel better having a horse and a dog around."

"Or you."

"Or me. When I do the overnight rides I prefer to have a dog with me. Usually Churchill comes with us. The Husky inside him likes to run."

"So does the Quarter Horse in Caza." Sara grabbed the halter of Caza and the horse followed her immediately while Jon took Kirundi with him.

"You'll like it."

"We'll see." Sara smiled. "And now?"

"Now I'll get the harness and you hold on to your horse." Sara watched Jon putting the harness on Caza and connecting it to the trolley. He did the same with Kirundi and it looked very easy when he did it. Sara on the other hand had no idea what he did when and why and how he could do all this without tying himself up.

"I'm impressed."

"Want to learn that too?"

"I think I start with driving this thing."

"You'll learn that today. Mom is good instructor."

"I know. She only failed once."

"When?"

"Teaching you some manners." Sara said dryly.

"Can't blame her for that, I was too old when we met." Jon grinned without responding to Sara's tease the way she expected it.

"She'll teach Kieran some manners."

"I think she did that already. And the rest is up to you."

"Me? Why me?"

"He likes you and I think you made him the happiest boy in the world when you took him home yesterday. I think he felt like having a mom who got him home from kindergarten."

"I'd do it again but I'll be back in Vegas when he has to go back to kindergarten."

"You can come back whenever you want."

"Thanks. I might do that. Sofia mentioned something crazy…being on ski and a horse pulls you through the snow…"

"Skijöring. That's great fun." He cocked his head. "Tell me, Billy the kid, how good are you in catching horses?"

"Huh?" Sara turned around. Kirundi and Caza were still in front of the trolley.

"With a lasso."

"I never tried it."

"You should. You might catch your bad guys that way."

"Not my job, your mom was the one for catching them."

"You never know if you might need that. Do you want to try it?"

"Sure. But who or what am I going to catch?"

"First a chair or something like that. After that a chair but from your horse while your horse stands. To get a feeling for it and keep the balance."

"Sounds like fun and like another skill. Do you teach me that?"

"Yes I will. We'll start tomorrow. For today you've the trolley and I have the ranch." He took a look at his watch. "I'll see where mom is, help her get the stuff out so that you can start. With making a fire you need some time to prepare. I'll see you later when you're back."

"You don't join the barbeque?"

"No, I'll take care of the ranch. It's not good when we're all gone. One should be always here."

"True. Have a nice afternoon…what are you going to do?"

"Paperwork." So even the life of a cowboy wasn't free of paperwork anymore. It seems like bureaucracy had hit ever job in the country.

"Exciting." She was glad to be out and have an afternoon with Sofia, the kids and the horses. The perfect last day of her vacations.

"Yes, my favorite. Enjoy your trolley drive and the barbeque."

"Thanks. I'll see you tonight."


	17. Chapter 17

"Sara?"

"Yes Kieran?"

"Do you go riding with me?"

"I'd love to but that's too dangerous. We might fall."

"I'll hold you tight."

"Oh Sweetie." Sara hugged the boy and took him on her arms. He was so cute. He wanted to make sure they don't fall.

"You sit on your pony and I walk with you a few yards."

"Both riding. I can ride."

"Probably better than I can. Sofia?"

"Helmet and strictly only walk. No fast walk, no trot, only walk." Sofia had started the fire and was waiting for it to burn down so that she could put the potatoes in the ash.

"I don't have a saddle…"

"I'll give you a hand." Sofia came to Sara. They had freed Kirundi and Caza as soon as they arrived at their destination at the river. Sofia got the rein down the trolley and knotted it to Caza's halter.

"I'm Billy the kid and not Sitting Bull, I need a saddle."

"You'll be fine. Helmet?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Don't treat me like one of the boys."

"Oh I worry more about you than Kieran. He knows what he's doing."

"Thanks. So much for I'll be fine."

"You will." Sofia held her hands together so that Sara could put a foot in them. Without any problems she pushed the brunette up on the horse.

"Don't forget your hat, Billy." She gave Sara the hat she got from Jon.

"Yeah will make me look cool and tough, not like the helmet."

"You can wear it every time as long as you have the helmet under it. Otherwise I won't let you on a horse."

"For a teenager who didn't care about rules you've got a lot."

"You know when they get older they get boring and just like their mom. That's why Pat will be a wonderful man one day."

"With long blonde hair?"

"Why not? I'm sure he'll look sexy. Longish blonde hair suits Jon perfectly. My next boyfriend will have longer hair to. I like to have something to hold on to, something to hide my hands in when we snuggle up in the evening on the couch."

"No more details, please."

"Easy to say for a married woman. Get lost you two." Sara slapped Caza's ass gently and the mare started to walk.

"Where do you want to go to, Kieran?"

"Through the water."

"Okay. I think it will be alright, your pony is tall enough." They crossed the river without any problems and rode on the other side up.

"Rabbit."

Sara followed Kieran's eyes and saw a rabbit vanishing in a hole.

"Yes."

"Dinner."

"No! Who taught you something like that?"

"Peter said rabbits are good dinner. His dad shoots them and they eat them."

"Don't you think they are nicer to look at? When they jump around than being dead and hanging over a fire? Don't you like Bugs Bunny?"

"Yes."

"You can't shoot him." Sara held on for a second. If she started to talk the boy into being a vegetarian she might be in trouble. But she couldn't let him think she liked the idea that a man shot rabbits and thought it was a great past time and wanted his son to like it. Plus she knew Jon didn't like killing animals.

"Catch him?"

"I think they are too fast for you to catch them. You need a trap and they hurt the animals most times. We don't want to hurt a rabbit, do we?"

"No. Just look,"

"Yes that is the best thing. We sit on our horse and watch them, how they jump, play and eat. That is more fun and we can see that every day again because they'll come back every day. If you shoot an animal it won't come back."

"I want to see rabbits."

"We'll have a look if we see them anywhere. Maybe we need to go back to the river, when they're thirsty they'll come there."

"Fish?"

"We might even see a fish, yes." They got back to the river. Caza walked into the water while Kieran's pony got up to a more shallow place. Like he hasn't done anything else his whole life Kieran got his pony through the water and entered the other side of the river.

Sara had seen a fish and was buy looking for more while Caza searched her way through the water. Suddenly she bent down a bit and started to swim.

"What the…Caza, what are you doing?" Thinking of the long legs of the horse, the painful hard looking hooves she grabbed the mane and tried to hold on. Forgetting her shoes getting wet, her jeans being soaked, all she concentrate on was staying on Caza's back, not risking to fall and being hit by the horse's legs.

"Oh Caza you need to hurry I think I…" Slip. Slowly she slipped down the horse and found herself in the water.

"Oh shit." Trying to held her legs up as high as possible and holding on to the mane Sara let Caza pull her out of the water.

"Sara wet." Kieran laughed.

"Yeah, I am." Sara looked down at herself. She was wet. Soaking wet. Thanks god there was no signal for her cell phone here and she left it in her room.

"Why did you fall?"

"I don't know, I lost my balance. At least it wasn't painful." She looked at her wet clothes, at Caza's too high back and sighed. There was no way she could get back on her horse. She could try and give Kieran more reasons to laugh.

"Let's go back to Sofia."

"Tective!"

"Yes let's go back to the detective." She smiled. It always made her smile when Kieran called his grandmother 'Tective' and he didn't call her anything else. He liked the idea that she had been a detective, a heroine, and caught bad guys. And Sofia liked the fact she wasn't called a grandmother anymore. Being Detective Delicious was more flattering than grandmother.

"What happened to you?" Sofia had to hold back a laughter.

"Caza had the idea to swim."

"Kieran looks dry."

"His pony took another way through the river."

"I should have told you that Caza loves to swim. When we go up to the lake, she'll take you for a swim again…did you enjoy it?"

"I was too busy trying not to slip, failed as you can see and then protecting my legs not to get hit by Caza's legs. When we were out of the water I couldn't get back on Caza so I had to walk. A wet jeans feels not nice."

"I think so. Come on, I help you up and you ride back to the ranch and change. Can't let you catch a cold."

"Are you alright here on your own?"

"I've two men by my side we'll keep the fire alive and prepare the dinner." Sofia pushed Sara up the horse.

"Thanks."

"Try not to slip again you might bruise Caza's ego when you fall all the time."

"The laugh is always on the loser." Sara mumbled.

"I'm proud you don't give up and get up all the time again." Sofia blinked at her. "Hurry up we'll miss you."

"Hurry? No way. I fall I need to walk the whole way."

"We'll put 'how to climb on a horse' on our to-do list." Sofia slapped Caza's backside again to make her walk. "Bring Sara home, Caza."

One hand on the mane, one holding the rein Sara got Caza to walk to the ranch. A few times she had the idea to make her horse trot but she thought she if couldn't keep her balance she'd fall and had to walk to whole two miles. She let Caza walk faster but didn't let her trot.

Tying her horse to the little veranda in front of the house she had another look down. The evening sun had dried her jeans a little bit but Sofia was right, she couldn't stay in her clothes. It would get cold as soon as the sun was away and she caught a cold.

"What happened to you?" Jon, who had been in the office next to the front door came out of the room when she entered the house.

"Caza took me for a swim. Unfortunately I forgot my swim suit."

"Skinny dipping?"

"I didn't want to scare your son."

"You can't scare him that easily. Is he wet too?"

"No his pony didn't feel like swimming."

"Good. One should keep the control over the horses."

"Funny guy." Sara turned and walked towards her room.

"Hey Sara?" Jon called out.

"Yeah?"

"Nice legs." He grinned and vanished in the office.

"Bite me." But she had to grin. Yes the jeans was tight and showed off her long slender legs. The down side was to get out the jeans. She had to pull a lot before she could change into something dry. For tonight she made the decision she wanted to wear cargo pants, no jeans anymore. A long-sleeve and there she was, ready to leave again.

Thinking of pushing Caza sideways to the veranda so that she could climb from there on her horse she pushed the Quarter Horse a bit.

"I need you to stand next to the veranda, otherwise I can't get on your back, Caza. I've no idea how Sofia managed to jump on Kirundi without a saddle, I'm taller and I can't do it. There must be a trick."

"You've got me you don't need a trick." Jon came out. "You look like you need a hand – or two."

"Not when I can move my horse and climb from the veranda on her back."

"To complicated." Jon grabbed Sara's hips and simply lifted her up.

"Wahoo." Sara grabbed the mane. "Wow. Thanks. That was easy."

"Six foot tall, full of muscles. My pleasure to help you."

"You are so Sofia's son." Sara laughed. The same smug tone, the same arrogant way of talking about himself. Jon and Sofia didn't share DNA but they were so much alike, they didn't need the same DNA to be mother and son. They even grinned the same dirty way when they wanted.

"I know and I'm proud of it."

"I can see that." Sara took Caza's rein. "I'll see what your mother is doing."

"She'll have finish off the dinner while you changed in you evening dress. Isn't it usually a skirt you wear when you meet for dinner?"

"I don't have a skirt with me and I think this cargo is perfect in case I fall into the river again. A wet jeans isn't comfortable."

"True. But in a wet jeans I can see your nice legs better and your ass looks much better in them than in a wide cargo pants." He grinned and turned.

"I'll tell your mom what you said and she'll spank your backside."

"If you would do that I would enjoy that."

"Cheeky as a his mother." Sara mumbled and had to hide a grin. Nice legs and a nice ass? She hadn't heard that for a long time. In fact a few years. Grissom never said something like that, not even when they were together for only a few weeks. He admired her head, how smart she was had never said anything about her appearance. Only this one time when they sat in the hockey stadium and he told her he was interested in beauty since he met her. That sentence had caught her off guard and when she had her thoughts back in order he was long gone back to the case and didn't seem to think of what he just had said.


	18. Chapter 18

**1st weeks as a woofer**

Sara kicked her shoes away and let herself fall backwards on the bed. Finally this day was over. She had been repairing and controlling fences for four days in a row. The whole day from the morning until the evening riding and repairing. The first two days Jon had joined her on the meadows up in the hills where the mustangs were. While he had checked on the horses she had repaired broken fence parts. She didn't count but she was sure she had used a thousand nails this week and only God knew how many yards of wood.

Now all the fences in the mountains were safe and until late autumn nobody had to care about them. Jon had told her the day trips would go from now on over the meadows up there, this way they could make sure everything was alright without losing a person for checking. And most people enjoyed seeing the mustangs.

Sara had used the time up there for some practice. She could throw a lasso now and when her target wasn't moving she even caught it. That was the first success with the lasso, the second was, she got safer and safer throwing the lasso while Caza walked. One day Caza would gallop and she could catch a running horse or pony. One day. She hoped she could learn it within this six weeks of woofing, if not, she'd go on practicing in Vegas. She was sure she would drew some attention when she stop in a park and caught an umbrella, a bench or whatever she found there.

Her cell phone rang. Without opening her eyes she grabbed it and answered it.

"Mhm?"

"Where are you?"

"Grissom?" One question was enough for her to be awake again.

"Who else? You're suppose to be in France, where are you?"

"Wyoming."

"What are you doing there?"

"I…I had been in hospital…"

"In Vegas"

"Yes." At least he remembered that.

"That doesn't answer the questions what you do in Wyoming and why you are not here." He didn't sound happy.

"The doctor told me to go away and have some rest. After two break downs within a short time he thought if I stay in Vegas I'll start working again and end up in hospital again. So he told me to go away, learn a new skill and have some quiet time. I'm on sick leave for three months."

"You could have come to France. That's why I sent you the flight ticket."

"Sitting in your apartment for two months isn't what he ordered."

"You can relax there."

"I'd be bored to death. You're away the whole time."

"You can see Paris, it's a beautiful city and there's always something new."

"I lived there for a few months, you know I'm not into cities, I don't like being in shops, I hate being in crowds and I need something to do, something I can use my head and my body. Reading French magazines isn't something I enjoy." Not anymore. There had been a time she was happy with her magazines and sitting in their apartment. Those days were over, she needed more. She needed a challenge.

"What are you doing in Wyoming?"

"I learnt…I learn…" She was still learning. "Horseback riding."

"Horseback riding?"

"Yes. I need to concentrate for that, I need to relax, I need to focus on the horse and don't think about work. I even learn how to throw a lasso" And she sounded excited about both like a little child.

"I thought you like animals. Horseback riding and playing cowboy doesn't sound like you. I can't see you catching bulls with a lasso to bring them to the slaughter."

"I don't do that!" He should know she'd never do something like that.

"What are you doing?"

"I learn how to ride, the lasso things is another thing for concentrating and we don't kill animals here. This is a ranch that protects them. They buy old racing horses, that would end up at the slaughterhouse otherwise because they're not fast enough anymore but in a perfect healthy condition." She stopped. They? She could use a name.

"Sofia owns the place."

"Sofia? Our Sofia?"

"Yes."

"I didn't know you kept in contact with her."

"I didn't…it's a long story. I booked two weeks here"

"Does this story explain why you're not here in France? Your two weeks should be over, the last thing I knew was that were due to arrive at Charles De Gaulle yesterday."

"I tried to call you several times, you never answered the phone. I left a message that I won't come over because you are so busy and I don't want to sit around. I never booked the flight and asked if I can stay here another six weeks. This is good for me, Gil. I don't think of work and I've something to do."

"You could have worked here."

"It's a project of the French government, they wouldn't let me in, you know that. And you don't go down to an eight hours days because I'm there. You go on working sixteen hours a day like you always do and I would sit around." They had been through that before. It was a reason why Sara had come back to Vegas. She was bored, he was busy.

"You didn't even have time to call me when I was in hospital." She had called all the times. He never tried to reach her. He was too busy.

"I thought you need to rest."

"I did. Having a phone call from my husband isn't anything that stops me from resting. You are simply too busy."

"So you won't come over?"

"No…why don't you come to here? You hadn't had a day off in ages."

"We need to finish this project…" Like she said, he was busy. There was no point for her of being there.

"No time, so why should I be there."

"You're my wife."

Yes she was. But was she his wife only on the paper or also in his heart? He didn't try to stop her when she said their old team in Vegas was short and needed help. He didn't try to stop her when she said she could extend her work contract. He didn't try to get her over to France when her contract ran out and she had the chance to go back or get a new one. Some would consider Sara as a lucky woman, having a husband who let her do whatever she wanted to do. To her it was more like he didn't care what she did. He didn't want her with him enough to ask her to come over, to stop working in France and come back to Vegas.

"So why don't you come back to Vegas? We wanted to stay in France for one year, this is your second already."

"There's a lot of work that needs to be done."

"Same in Vegas. I'm sure you'd get your job back."

"I can work as a scientist and don't have to worry about papers and politics."

"Your wife is here."

"My wife can come over."

"Why is it that the wife is always suppose to come to her husband?"

"It isn't. You went to Costa Rica and I followed you."

"We left the camp and made a three months trip through the jungle so that you could study bugs." As soon as her project was over they had left the camp and went their own ways. Grissom's ways. Sara hadn't complained, she was happy he was there and that they had some time together. What had changed that it wasn't enough for her to be his wife and wait for him to come home?

"You enjoyed it."

"I did, yes. I don't enjoy Paris, I don't enjoy sitting in your apartment and wait for you. If I go to Paris I want you to have time, to spend time with you. We could go to Euro Disney, drive for a week to the south of France, visit Monaco, Spain and Portugal."

"This isn't holiday, Sara."

"Not for you but for me."

"Does that mean you want to stay longer on the farm before you come here?"

"I won't come to France, Grissom." Didn't she make herself clear she wanted to spend time with him if she came over? And he made it clear he had no time.

"You won't?"

"No. Not until you've time to go away from your project and spend time with me. Real time and not only six hours a day." And in these six hours he was asleep.

"I need to work."

"You do that and I'll stay here."

"If it's what you want." He finished the call, obviously angry.

"Want? There are not many choices." Sara mumbled and switched her phone off. She could understand that he was mad, that he wanted her to be there. A part of her wanted to be there, wanted to be with him. But could he not understand her? Could he not understand why she felt lonely in Paris? Why she didn't want to spend the days alone? She didn't think he did.

She hated crowded places and she hated to be alone the whole day. Made that sense? Or was that something that didn't fit together? It felt so good here, there were people when she wanted to talk to somebody and she had her own place and quiet time when she felt like that.

Sara sighed and got up. Sometimes life was complicated. She left her room. It was almost midnight, everything was quiet and nobody seemed to be awake anymore. On tiptoe she walked up the stairs and had a look for Patrick. He was sleeping, had kicked his blanket away. Sofia covered him up, and stroke his cheek. He was cute with his longish blonde hair. And what she really liked was that now that his hair grew longer he started to have some little curls. He looked like an angel.

Would she ever have children? The chances were low, she would turn forty in September, her husband was in France, mad at her and she didn't want a child without a man by her side. A man who had time for her and the family. There was no point in having children if you couldn't offer them a family and a steady place. She couldn't do that on her own. Working nights nobody was home with the baby. Changing to days? A possibility but only with a partner who worked days too.

Pushing the idea of a baby away she left Pat's room and walked over to Kieran. The three years old boy was fully coved by his blanket, had his teddy in his arm and slept. Sara smiled. Another little angel. He had his riding lessons today and was so proud when he told her that he was allowed to trot for the first time. She could understand him. Feeling the power and speed of a horse was special. It was only a trot but the first trot was special. And he managed to stay on his pony much better than she had on Caza.

"Sara."

She flinched. Kieran had his eyes open and looked at her.

"Hey baby, go back to sleep."

"Sara too?"

"I'll go to bed too. I just wanted to see if everything is alright with you."

"Sara to me?"

"You want me to stay with you? I can do that." She could stay until the boy was asleep again. She moved the blanket and took Kieran in her arms. Immediately the boy snuggled up and held on to her hands.

"Sleep tight, Kieran."

"You too. Love you Sara."

"I love you too." She kissed his hair. That was the reality. Her husband didn't tell her that he loved her, he didn't tell her that he missed her, didn't ask when he could hold her the next time in his arms. This little boy wanted her to be with him, he told her he loved her and she believed him.


	19. Chapter 19

"Look at them, snuggling in bed like lovers. Get your butt out of the bed of my son and out on the fields with you, lazy worker." Jon grinned. He came in to wake Kieran up and found his son in Sara's arms, both deep asleep in bed.

"What…?" Sara opened her eyes and had to coordinate herself. Where was she? Kieran's room. What did she do here? Why was she in Kieran's bed? Oh yes, she wanted to wait until he was asleep and go back to her bed. Looked like she fell asleep too.

"He's too young for you and you're married, Sara. You really disappoint me." Jon could barely hold back a laughter.

Kieran rubbed his eyes. "Dad." He smiled at his father. "Sara slept with me."

"We'll talk about that later, my son. In ten, fifteen years…get down, breakfast is waiting. Are you hungry?"

"Yes." He looked at Sara. "Sara too?"

"Sara will have breakfast too, yes. Go down and after that I want you to wash your face, brush your teeth and dress up. Hurry." Before Kieran could leave the room Jon kissed him and turned back to Sara.

"Now to you…"

"I'm sorry, I was up here late, checked on Pat and him when he woke up. He wanted me to stay I thought I stay until he is asleep and go back to my room. I think I fell asleep too." Sara was ashamed. That was embarrassing.

"Sneaking into my son's bed. Besides the fact that he is way too young for you, your relationship is illegal, you could get divorced first before you get a toy-boy."

"I'm as good as divorced." Sara mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head and got up. This wasn't the time and the place to talk about her relationship with Grissom, about what they had talked about last night. She had to forget that and concentrate on here and now. At least she was dressed.

"I'm sorry."

"Sara." Jon's voice was soft, he wasn't teasing anymore, not pretending to be a mad parent. He felt something was wrong with her. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah."

"What do you mean with you're as good as divorced?" He didn't want to let go, he was pushing, a bit but it was clear, he didn't want to let her go without any explanation.

"Nothing. I…had a phone call from Grissom last night. He wasn't that happy that I didn't come to France, he expects me to stay there even when he's working sixteen hours a day. Telling him I want to stay here and not come over made him mad." And I realized I'd never have a family, she thought but these were words she'd never say out loud.

"He should understand that it's not your cup of tea to stay in an apartment the whole day and that you don't like shopping and walking around crowded places. Plus you have stayed there long enough, you've seen everything you're interested in."

"He doesn't see that." All he saw was his project, the work. She wasn't sure why he wanted her in Paris. To have some control over her?

"And he doesn't want to take a week or two off so that you can have a little holiday together? I'm sure there're a lot of interesting places in France or in Europe. No need to stay in one country, you can easily fly to another one. There are enough around."

"He's too busy for that too."

"Then he has no reason or right to complain."

"He sees that different."

"Men always do, that doesn't mean they're right."

"You're a man too."

"That's why I know what I'm talking about." He took a good look at her. "Do you want to go over to see him? It's alright, you don't have to stay here."

"Be alone? You pointed out how less I want to be in Paris alone. I told him I stay."

"You feel guilty about it."

"Yes." She didn't want to feel guilty but she did.

"Do you think he feels guilty?"

"He's too busy for that."

"Then there's no reason for you to feel guilty. Come on, I made some pancakes for breakfast and if we don't go down too there won't be any left. You've no idea how much they can eat if there're pancakes."

"You'll start the overnight trip today."

"Yes." He had a group of eight he wanted to take up to the lake and stay there for a night. He and Cat would guide the group.

"I'll take you there too."

"I hope I can make this trip before I leave."

"You will."

"I can join a group…"

"No need to. I'll guide you. Or mom will. You'll get your own overnight trip."

"If I ever get good enough on a horse I can join you or Sofia."

He cocked his head. "You are good enough. If you really want you can come with us next week. We'll have an overnight trip once a week now that we're busy. I'll tell mom and she or I will take you and the guests up to the lake. Get a warm sleeping bag, it's cold up there at night. Or you need to sleep in my arms."

"In your dreams."

"How did Kieran get you in his bed?"

"He asked like only a little child can ask. No chance for you. And I'm still married."

"Right. No sharing a sleeping bag. Pity. I've a nice one you can connect to another one."

"I'm sure you'll find somebody else in town who wants to share your sleeping bag."

"Why take second quality when first quality is available."

"I am not available."

"I've no idea what you want to do with me in a sleeping bag, I was thinking using and giving some warmth."

"Sure. Shut up, Jonny, that's better for you."

"You're a hard hearted woman, Sara Sidle."

"I know. And a hungry one." She smiled and left the room. She had slept in the wrong bed, she had slept in and she felt good. Was that a good sign for the day?

* * *

Jamie came in the office where Sofia was doing some paper work. Bills, reservations, orders, she had no idea how all these things ended up every day new on her desk. It seemed like she cleared it and the next morning it was full again.

"Hey Jamie."

"Hey." He came to her, had a look on the papers, hugged her and waited until she was ready with whatever she was doing.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah."

"Are you bored having a quiet night because everybody is away?"

"No I'm fine."

"Can I ask you something?" Sofia put her papers away and faced her son.

"Sure."

"What do you think of taking college courses in the internet?"

"Huh? Why?"

"You know I'd like to have you in college…yes I know you don't want to go there, I accept that. But it's a shame to waste your talents. You've been a very good student, you can get a diploma without any problems. And when you do that online you don't even have to leave, you can stay here. I know that's the most important thing to you, to stay here. I'd never send you away, you know that. But could you spend a minute or two to think about my idea? Taking online college classes to get a diploma?"

"How did you get this idea?"

"Actually I didn't have it, Sara had it. I told her how much I wanted you to go to college, to get a diploma and that I don't want to send you away because I will never force you into something you don't want. It is your life if you're happy the way it is now it's alright. All I want is to give you all the opportunities you need to be happy."

"I can stay here?"

"You can stay here as long as you want. No matter if you want to study or help us here or just be here. I'll never send you away."

"I could study something with nutrition."

"If you want." Sofia got up and took Jamie in her arms. "You can study nutrition, food chemist or become an astronaut. Whatever makes you happy."

"I don't like flying can I be something on the ground?"

"Sure." Sofia chuckled.

"Nutrition sounds good. I can stay here the whole time?"

"Yes. You stay here, you study here, I'll give you all the time you need to learn and study and every now and then you'll have to go to university and make your tests. If you study in Vegas I'm sure grandmother or Sara will take you in for these days. Sara offered already her apartment to you."

"I'll think of it, okay? I will have a look in the internet."

"Take all the time you need, Honey." She kissed him. Her little sensitive boy. She knew he needed this safe haven for his own sake. She also knew he couldn't hide his whole life here, he needed to have a plan B if there would be a day, he couldn't stay here anymore. There was no guarantee they could keep the ranch for forever.

"Thanks…did you talk to Sara today?"

"Barely. I was too busy with the paper and the vet." One of the horses had a colic and she had spent a lot of time at the vet.

"You should talk to her."

"Why? Anything happened?"

"She told Jon this morning her husband called last night and it wasn't a nice conversation. She might need a friend who knows her husband too."

"Grissom called? She didn't say that."

"Won't be her favorite topic."

"I'll talk to her. Where is she?"

"She was with the kids out on the meadow behind the barn, I got them in half an hour ago because it was bed time. She might be still there, I haven't heard her come in."

"You like her."

"Yes."

"It's not my business what you talk with her but I've the feeling the two of you do share a past. You know Sara and me weren't exactly friends in Vegas, but I can feel there's something between you and her and I think it's about her past."

"Mom…"

"Don't say anything, Jamie. I don't want an answer. All I want to tell you is, that if you can talk with her about something you might have problems to talk about with me because you think I can't feel what you felt, it's alright. I'm glad if you have somebody to talk, you're way too closed."

"You don't want to send me to a shrink again, do you?" She had mentioned once that it could help him to visit a therapist and Jamie was horrified of that idea. He didn't want to be in a room with a stranger and tell this person all his secrets.

"I think you can make your own decision if you need a shrink or a therapist. I offer you my time and my attention whenever you want and need it, if you found in Sara somebody you can talk to too it's great. She can be a bitch and rough but beneath that she's sensitive."

"I like her and enjoy spending time with her."

"Good." Sofia hugged Jamie again. "I'll go and talk to her. She isn't into chocolate so I can't make her smile with a huge bar of chocolate. I might have to try something else. Any idea? What does the chef recommend?"

"Nothing to eat. She wants to see the lake."

"You think I should let her ride the next overnight tour?"

"She's fine with trot and canter I think you can let her be the second guide. Or I'll join you or Jon and tell her all she needs to know to help you guiding a group."

"I'll think about it. What are your plans for the night?"

"I'll have a look for a distance teaching university and if I find something I like there. I might study philosophy." He grinned.

"If that's what makes you happy go ahead. Just don't use your new knowledge on me, please."

"You have to be supportive, mom."

"I am, I'll let you go."

"Shall I become a detective?"

"You're very smart, but I don't think it's the kind of job you want to do."

"No I don't want all the bad things in life in my life. We've one detective in the house, I'm sure 'Tective Licious' keeps it a safe place."

"Get lost!" She laughed and pushed him gently out of the room. Since Kieran had started to call her that all her children used it to tease her. Not that she was happy when Kieran called her 'grandmother', 'Tective Licious' sounded younger but it wasn't something you wanted to be called by a young boy.


	20. Chapter 20

Sofia found Sara sitting on a picket at the barn so the building was there to lean on. The rest of the horses and ponies were a few yards away. As soon as Sofia entered the meadow Kirundi stopped grazing and walk over to greet her. With her horse by her side Sofia walked over to Sara who was enjoying the last light of the day. The sun was behind the mountains, the night was about to come in.

"Hey." Sofia smiled a bit. "Are you hiding and want to be alone?"

"No I was here with the kids and wanted to wait until the sun is down."

"Was it a nice sunset?"

"Yes. You were buried under paper in the office?"

"Yes. I thought leaving Vegas meant leaving paper work behind, I was wrong."

"Some things follow you everywhere."

"True." Sofia wasn't sure how to start. She couldn't just say, Jamie mentioned Grissom had called and he thought Sara needed somebody to talk. She needed a better way to start this conversation.

"Grissom called yesterday night."

That was a better way to start. Sara wanted to talk about the call, she did the first step.

"What did he want?"

"He asked where I am. I'm suppose to be in France."

"Didn't you tell him you won't come?"

"I tried to call him, I left message what he did with that message I don't know. He wasn't happy that I want to stay here."

"He wants you in Paris, he wants you with him."

"If I could be with him I had left here and flew to Paris. Being in Paris isn't the same like being with him. He works for sixteen hours, I have nothing to do. There is no reason for me to be in Paris if he has no time."

"He can't take some time off? Go home after eight hours?"

"I doubt he wants to."

"He can't expect you to come to Paris and he has no time. There's no point in flying six thousand miles and nobody is there."

"He won't agree on that."

"Crazy."

"He hung up the phone because he was mad. Sofia, am I wrong? Am I suppose to go to France? Maybe stay there because he is there. I mean what kind of wife am I leaving him in Paris and going back to Vegas."

"What kind of husband is he not to call when you're in hospital? What kind of husband is he staying in Paris even though you had both agree on going back to Vegas after a year. What kind of husband is he not taking time off when you fly to Paris to see him? What kind of husband is he prefer to stay at work than spending time with you?"

Sara sighed. "Not the best I guess."

"No. His list is longer than yours. Yes you canceled your flight but did he show any interest in you? No. He didn't call when you had two break-downs. You left him in Paris, yes, it was suppose to be for six months, he wanted to follow you Christmas. Instead of that he made a contract for another year. You didn't leave him, Sara, he lets you wait."

"He can do there what he always wanted to do."

"He can do the same here."

"I could work there too."

"And then? You come home and he's still at work."

"Maybe."

"Sara." Sofia got closer to the brunette.

"Okay he would. He's a workaholic, he loves his job, he's dedicated to it."

"It's a job. You are his wife. I don't like to point it out but it looks like his work is more important to him than his wife. If he really wants to spend time with you he can go home after eight hours, he can take days off, go away with you for a few days.

What does he expect you to do? Sitting in the apartment, waiting for him? Walking around the city the whole day, make some dinner for him at night time, reheat it because he won't be back on time and stay available in case he wants some sex? That's not the life of a wife, it's the life of a slave or a whore you hire as a cook as well."

"You have a very sensitive way to point things out, detective."

"Sorry. I don't like you sitting here, being upset because he makes you feel guilty when he is the one who's suppose to feel guilty."

"You're prepared for this, you knew he called. Jon said something."

"Jamie. Jon talked to him and Jamie thought you might want to talk to somebody who knows you and Grissom. I didn't see you much today because of my paper prison. My boys care about you, Sara."

"Jon wanted to squeal that I slept last night in Kieran's bed."

"Kieran told me. He was so happy. How did you end up there?"

"I had a look at him and Pat after the conversation with Grissom. I guess I needed something to distract me and they are both so cute, they distract me from everything. I covered Pat up, he had kicked away his blanket. Kieran was covered up, I must have got lost in my thoughts for a second, suddenly he was awake, talked to me and asked if I can hold him in my arms. I thought I stay until he's asleep again and fell asleep with him in my arms."

"You slept with my rookie?"

"Rookie?"

"Yeah he wants to be a detective one day so I made him my rookie. He calls me detective, I call him rookie, this way I don't hear these words anymore that make me so old…don't you dare to say them."

"I don't." Sara had to chuckled. "And I didn't sleep with your…rookie."

"Prove it."

"Uhm…detective, you don't have to prove that you're innocent, it's up to the police to prove I'm guilty."

"I've a witness who found you with Kieran in a bed."

"Yes that's true."

"Tell me about his scar on his right tight."

"He has a scar?"

"How does it look?"

"I didn't know he has one. What happened?"

"I try to make you confess."

"Can't say anything about a scar because I haven't seen one. What did happen to him, Sofia?"

"There is no scar."

"Not?"

"No. I was fishing."

"Maybe it's better you're not a detective anymore, you're not that good anymore."

"Careful, Sidle."

"Or?"

"Or you'll regret it."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Yeah. I won't take you up to the lake."

"Your oldest son wants to take me there."

"Does he?"

"Yes. He wants us to share a sleeping bag."

"I need to talk to Jon. He's suppose to look for a mother for Kieran and not for himself."

"Careful, Detective."

"At least I'm delicious."

"And I've a nice ass and nice legs according to your oldest son."

"He tells that all women."

"Does he?"

"Sure, he's a sunny boy."

"I told him he doesn't need your DNA, he is like you."

"Bitch."

"Proud one."

Sofia stepped in front of Sara and looked up to her face.

"Come on."

"To where?"

"We'll have a beer or two. We deserved them."

"Step aside."

"Come in my arms." Sofia opened her arms.

"What?"

"Or do you only have little boys in your arms?"

"What are you…hey…!" Sofia had simply poked both of her index fingers in Sara's sides, what made her jump and she landed in Sofia's arms. Immediately the blonde closed her arms and held on to Sara. Because of the power Sara had with her jump both fell to the ground, what didn't make Sofia open her arms.

"Grissom is an idiot to treat you like this." She whispered in Sara's ear that was next to her mouth. "He can't be that smart like I always thought. Every man with half a brain would forget his job and come to you. If not when you were in hospital for the first time but when you were in there the second time. Nothing would keep me away from my partner when he is in hospital. No job. And he doesn't understand that there are million jobs on earth and only one Sara Sidle, he lost his brain in France."

"Want to tell him?" Sara didn't fight Sofia's arms. She hoped she didn't injure the blonde when they both went down.

"Give me his number and I'll tell him."

"He won't understand."

"Then he's an idiot. Sad I thought he's a smart man."

"He's the smartest when it comes to his job."

"Life is more than just a job, Sara. Much more."

"Not to everybody."

"To a husband life should be his wife and not his job. Otherwise he should consider to marry his job and leave the wife to somebody who appreciate her the way she deserves it."

"Can't I be glad that at least somebody wanted to marry me?"

"Wrong angle, investigator. Grissom can be glad you wanted to marry him. He's the lucky one not the other way around."

"Why are you so nice to me?"

"Because I'm right…and you're on top of me. I should tell Grissom I got laid by his wife."

"Do you want me to be a single ASAP?"

"Do you want an honest answer?" Sofia's voice was serious, the tease she had in her sentence before was gone.

"An investigator always wants an honest answer, I look for the truth."

"At the moment you're better off without him. He doesn't make you happy, he does the opposite and he doesn't see it, doesn't want to see it. I think no husband is better than a husband who makes you sad."

"If I think like that I'll end up alone in a nursing home."

"Nah, we'll open a cool granny community in fifty years. Like the golden girls…you'll be a great Dorothy."

"While you'll be the perfect Blanche. Thanks." Sara got out of Sofia's arms and got up. She offered the blonde her hand as a help to get up too.

"Thanks." Sofia tried to get the dust off her pants.

"I've to thank you. For taking some time for me, listen and be a back up."

"Serve and protect. There's danger for you I'll take care of you. I protect my CSI."

"If I'm your CSI he's your CSI too."

"Nah, I might look after all CSIs but there's only one I protect and serve completely. And working with you had always been fun…and a challenge."

"More a challenge I guess."

"It got better every day…month."

"Can't be too bad, you let me stay longer and wanted me to jump in your arms."

"I didn't know you only hug rookies."

"Actually I'm attracted to power. If you become a captain I might hug you."

"No more law enforcement for me."

"No hugs for you."

"No chance to trade something for a hug? A cold beer?"

"Maybe." Sara laughed.

"Two? And the promise I'll take you up to the lake and you can choose if you want to go there with the group or only with me."

"What's about dignity, detective?"

"Dignity doesn't hug."

"Your son does. All your kids do."

"Yes, they're great. "Sofia smiled. "The best decision I ever made. Adopting and getting them. Better than any job."

"I think so."

"You know they like you, they started to see you as a part of the family. Aunty Sara."

"Am I suppose to be your sister?"

"No, I must be an only child. You know when there're two, one has the look and one has the brain and I've both; definitely."

"You've so much arrogance that's enough for a whole family."

"So do you with bitchiness."

"Why should I hug somebody who calls me a bitch all the time?"

"Because she's right?"

"Is she?"

"She has the brain and the look, she must be right."

"And the arrogance." Sara added.

"And the arrogance."

"True." She turned and pulled Sofia in her arms. "Thanks for talking to me. It feels good when there's somebody telling you you're not completely wrong and it's not your fault that your marriage is in a difficult situation."

"It isn't your fault, Sara. I can assure you of that."

"Thanks." Sara smiled and held on to Sofia. Maybe a hug was something better than words sometimes. She felt much better having Sofia in her arms than sitting alone on a picket and watch the sun go down.


	21. Chapter 21

**2nd week woofing**

"What do I have to pack? Do I need my backpack?"

"You mean this huge thing? No!"

"What else?"

"Wait." Sofia left Sara's room. The brunette had no idea what to pack. She and Sofia wanted to start their overnight trip today. Cat had three of her friends staying with her and the boys on the farm, the best chance for Sofia to leave for one night.

"This your bag, use it." She handed Sara a saddlebag."

"That's all?"

"Yes. One night. Toothbrush, underwear, swimsuit, jumper, flashlight, towel. Jamie packed us a little package with food, we'll get water from the springs. There'll be a gas cooker for the food and some coffee. One night, Sara. You can wear tomorrow what you wear today. No need to pack for a holiday trip."

"I want to make sure I don't forget anything, there won't be a store on our way."

"No."

"Do you have your gun?"

"Loaded."

"Good."

"Pack your things, I'll get my stuff out and our food. Five minutes, Sara. Top."

"Okay." She turned and looked at all her things. Five minutes. Two small bags. She took her toothbrush and toothpaste, secured it in a little bag, took her comb and some soap. There won't be any showers but that was no reason to stink. On top of that the small box she had bought yesterday.

Underwear, socks, a jumper…she could knot the jumper around her waist. Camera. Did she need band aid? First-aid kit? No Sofia had that, she needed that for all her trips. No need to change clothes…towel! She packed a small towel. Anything else? Her eyes moved between the bags and her bed. Should she? Should she really? Yes! Sara grabbed her pillow she had taken with her from Las Vegas. She had to sleep on the ground no need not to make it as comfortable as possible.

"Ready to go." With a smile she left the house. Kirundi and Caza were waiting outside, ready for their trip. So was Churchill.

"Don't forget your hat and your lasso, Billy." Jon placed Sara's bear tooth hat on her head with a grin.

"Thanks. I'm ready to catch all the bad…on no, I am a bad guy…I'm ready to escape the long arm of the law."

"That's why you ride with a detective?"

"She's a rat, I pay her."

"Not anymore." Sofia had heard the last words.

"You work for me, Billy."

"I took her in my gang."

"You made her believe she's your boss so that you can use her. I understand. Very smart, Billy." Jon laughed and helped Sara on Caza's back.

"And you, detective, you make sure Billy doesn't get lost and comes back in one part. We need her. The meadows need a new clean up."

"I'll bring her back healthy and happy by tomorrow afternoon. Take care of the fort and the soldiers."

"I will." He helped Sofia on Kirundi. "Have a nice ride."

"Thanks. If anything happens you know…"

"Mom, it's not the first time you're gone for a night. We'll be alright."

"Yes. Sorry. Bye honey, give Cat and Jamie a kiss." Cat was gone with the guests while Jamie was in town shopping.

"Will do."

"And the boys…my baby and the rookie."

"I'll give them a kiss to."

"And…"

"Mom? Give me my kiss and go!" He held his cheek up so that Sofia could reach it from Kirundi.

"Thanks. Sara."

"Mhm?"

"What is with my kiss?"

"You got one that's enough."

"Hard hearted woman."

"You mentioned that before."

"I thought you might have changed. Oh well, have fun, take care and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye." Sofia gave Kirundi the sign to walk, called Churchill and their journey could begin.

* * *

"You looked relaxed when Caza did a canter."

"I was. I like it. Not too fast, not so shaky." They had used the last part of the lowlands for a canter and let the horses walk up the hills.

"We'll have a break on top of this mountain, it will take around half an hour. If you want to take photos of something we can stop. It's your trip, Sara, you make the rules how fast we go."

"I want to be on time to have a swim in the lake, want to have some sun to dry and a fire before we'll watch the sunset."

"We can arrange that."

"Cat said they saw a moose yesterday."

"Happens sometimes. They're no danger."

"Did you ever see a bear?"

"Yes a couple of times. Usually in spring time. Don't worry if there's a bear around Churchill will let us know. Most times some noise scares them away."

"I've my detective, serve and protect."

"Exactly. And deep in your debt."

"Why?"

"For all the help. We said three to four hours work a day, you work the whole day. My cousin will kill me, you need to rest."

"I do rest. I sleep eight hours every night, I've three meals, I enjoy what I do, there's no pressure. I'm far away from overworked."

"Hopefully."

"I am." Sara felt great. She had exactly the perfect balance of working and rest. She had something to do every day, she could stop whenever she felt like having a break, she could sleep in or stay awake long. This was just perfect for her.

"Anything new of Grissom?" Sofia wasn't sure if that was a good topic but she wanted to give Sara the chance to talk about it if she wanted.

"No. He doesn't call, I don't call. There's only the answering machine, no need to spend money on that. And I'm way too busy to run after him. I prefer to spend my time with the boys, they appreciate my time. As soon as I ask them if we should go to the ponies, play a game or do something else, they stop whatever they're doing and come with me. Even Pat started to forget you for a minute when we're doing something."

"Don't you dare to take my baby away from me." Sofia laughed. She was happy Sara had this good relationship to the boys.

"I might smuggle him to Vegas. Both of them. Leave my clothes here and put them in my suitcases."

"I'll hunt you down, I still know how to read spoors."

"I think you mean trace. Spoor is what you read here, with animals."

"I'll hunt you like an animal and shoot you at the end."

"You don't shoot animals and there's another thing that will stop you from shooting me: serve and protect."

"Not if you take my babies away. There's a line and this line are my babies."

"So I can take the three big ones?"

"Get your hands off my children."

"Share the joy."

"No. Not my babies."

"In that case I need to come back to see them."

"We hope you'll do that, Sara. The sooner the better but we really hope you'll be here for Christmas or New Years Eve…I mean if you don't want to fly to Grissom…if you want to be with him we understand that…"

"Sofia, he doesn't care for these days and I don't want to sit alone in his apartment on New Years Eve. If I get these days off I'll come up here and have some snow and these skiing with horses. You got me to try a lot of crazy things." She lifted her lasso.

"Want to catch something?"

"Might catch you."

"Would be the first time you catch something moving."

"Not true!"

"Snails don't count."

"You're…bitch!" Sara threw her lasso and really got Sofia. With a fast move she had the loop tied around the blonde.

"What the…you caught me."

"Yes. I am good."

"You have been practicing."

"Every day. I caught your son and your…rookie."

"They were working against me? I'll have to talk to them. Get me out of this." Sofia couldn't move her arms.

"Say please."

"Now!"

"Wrong language."

"Pretty soon!"

"Wrong dialect."

"Sara…don't get yourself in trouble."

"Detective you're tied up, you're the one on trouble."

"I can reach my gun and shoot you in self-defense."

"Never ever." Sara got Caza close to Kirundi so that she could reach the lasso and pulled it over Sofia's head.

"I give you your freedom."

"I let you live."

"Thanks." Sara let her hand stay for a second on Sofias. "And thanks for making sure I'm alright. I'm not sure what to do with Grissom and me, I need to think a little bit more. But it helps to be here, to have you guys around and being distracted in a good way."

"You're welcome." Sofia smiled. "Caza, stop!" She ordered.

"Why?" Sara asked surprised when her horse simply stopped. It seemed like she had no power when Sofia told Caza to stop.

"That's why." Sofia bend over and hugged Sara. "It's easier to hug you when both horses stand still. Otherwise I have to jump on Caza and hug you while we both sit on her."

"I think Caza prefers to carry only one person."

"She does. Come on, Billy, we need to speed a bit to keep your time table."

"Don't stop my horse and we're faster."

"You really want me to jump on your horse the next time I want to hug you? I can do that."

"The scary thing is I believe you will do that." Sara laughed. Sofia was crazy enough to do something like that.


	22. Chapter 22

It was after three when they arrived at the lake. Sofia had told Sara not to expect something big with a long beach, it was only a little lake in the mountains. No real beach, not prepared for a great swim adventure. It was a wild lake, most of it's shore was covered with long grass and bushes

They rode almost around it until Sofia stopped Kirundi. Sara saw an old fire place and realized they were on the only place that looked like a meadow. At least there was lower grass and no bushes. They could walk to the water and actually see where they stepped on.

"Finally. I've a sore ass."

"Not used to long rides yet?"

"No. Can I have a pillow the next time?"

"You'll look ridiculous with that."

"I so don't care as long as my ass sits good." She got down and hugged Caza. "You did a great job, Caza. Thanks for bringing me here."

"You can thank her by freeing her. No saddle, no harness only her halter and a long rope." Sofia had already Kirundi's saddle down and placed it on the ground.

"Sure." Sara had taken some extra lessons with Cat how to handle a saddle and harness. She was able to saddle and bridle a horse all by herself now.

"First a swim?"

"Yes, please."

"Let me see you strip!" Sofia grinned while she threw her clothes on the saddle.

"I wear already everything like you do." Sara had put on her swim suit before they left the ranch.

"Come here." Sofia said.

"Why?"

"Stop asking all the time, do it." She pulled the brunette over. With one jump she was on Caza and held her hand down to Sara.

"What?"

"Come up."

"What?"

"Sara, don't play dumb."

"I can't…Caza can't…"

"You both can. Come on. I'll pull and you jump. Show me how sporty you are. Billy the kid could jump on a horse without a saddle too."

"I'm sure he was taller."

"Five foot eight. You're taller."

"An inch."

"See. Get up here now."

Sara sighed took Sofia's hand. "Okay on three. One, two…three." She jump, Sofia pulled and magically she ended up sitting behind Sofia. Immediately she tried to keep her balance and embraced Sofia.

"All you wanted was me holding on to you, be honest."

"Sure, I dreamed of that moment for weeks." Sofia laughed. "Are you alright there?"

"If I can hold on to you. There is nothing else to hold on."

"We won't have a long ride, only down to the lake and in the water. You know how much Caza loves the water and it's fun riding in the water." She put her hand on Sara's arm and let Caza walk down to the lake.

Sara placed her head on Sofia's left shoulder to see. It was a strange feeling to sit behind somebody, having no saddle.

Caza entered the water and soon Sara's feet got wet.

"Time to leave." Without any more warnings Sofia held on to Sara's arms and pulled her down in the water.

"Are you crazy?" Sara thought she had to die of a heart attack when she hit the water. It was so cold.

"Yes." Sofia spilled water in Sara's face.

"You'll get that back." Sara tried to catch Sofia but the blonde dove away. Having Sara behind her Sofia swam further in the lake. It wasn't a deep lake but she couldn't reach the ground anymore. Waiting for Sara she saw their horses enjoying the water close to the shore. Caza had been swimming a bit, Kirundi was fine standing in the water, drink it and be free from Sofia. At the same time Sofia knew, her horse was looking out for her. Churchill had placed himself in the shadows and slept. He was tired after this long walk.

"You could have warned me." Sara protested when she arrived at Sofia.

"To hear you whine and complain? No way. There's nothing like a good surprise."

"That wasn't a good surprise. If I didn't need to find my way back I'd kill you right away."

"Churchill and the horses know how to get home."

"Are you daring me?"

"Maybe." Sofia cocked her head. "You're wet, Sara."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Wait until I'll get you in my hands…" She tried to grab Sofia but the blonde dove away again. She had no idea how good Sara was with swimming, Sofia was up here often and loved to swim, she could stay in the water for a while and let Sara think she'd get her.

It was nice to play in the afternoon sun, having the water working on your muscles even when hot water would be better, this felt good after all the hours in the sun and heat. Heat. Sofia hat to chuckle. She was used to hotter weather in Vegas, this was cold compared to some days she had down south in the desert.

First she had thought she'd miss the heat then it was nice to have warm days, every now and then a warmer day but not these crazy temperatures like a hundred and twenty degrees. Eighty was much better and more than enough for the horses.

Swimming back to the shore she waited for Sara in the grass.

"Next time I'll get you." The brunette fell next to her with a smile.

"Sure thing." Sofia started to rub Sara's towel over the brunette.

"What are you doing?"

"I dry the horses when they're exhausted, I can do the same with an old woman."

"Old woman?" Sara's voice was dangerous.

"Close to forty…how many days are left…ouch!" Sara had used all her left energy and catapult herself on top of Sofia.

"Now I've got you and there's no way you can escape. You'll feel very sorry for every little meanness you did to me. Very, very sorry."

"Sure thing Sara." Sofia simply got Sara in her arms and pulled herself into Sara's arms. "You can punish me while I hold on to you."

"Will you let go of me?"

"You're nice warm I think I'll stay."

Sara lowered herself so that she laid on Sofia and started to tickle the blonde.

"Stop that," Sofia tried to escape but couldn't because Sara's weight kept her down.

"I thought I'm nice warm." Sara didn't dream of stopping. This was a very good way of payback. Payback for pulling her into the cold water, payback for making fun of her, for spilling water in her face and Sara would find more reasons if she thought of it.

"I'll bite you." Sofia threatened. She had no idea how, she couldn't control her body because she was so ticklish.

"Sure." Sara knew she had the upper hand and whatever the blonde said, she couldn't do more than hoping Sara let her go. Something big and heavy hit her and pulled her down from Sofia. Sara found herself in the grass next to the blonde. Over her two big brown eyes were looking down.

"Kirundi, it's not fair when you attack me. A dangerous horse I need to call the police and… ouch." Now Sara had Sofia on top of her and got Sofia's fingers poking in her side.

"You leave my horse alone or you'll be the dinner of a bear."

"Everybody is against me, not fair."

"Cry me a river." Sofia pinned Sara down and wanted to go on tickling her when she suddenly remembered the last time she pinned Sara down. Immediately she let go of the brunette and got up.

"Are you okay?" Sara asked surprised to be free this fast.

"Yes. Sorry."

"What's the matter, Sofia?" Sara sat up.

"I didn't want to…I mean…when I pinned you to the tree…"

"Sofia." Sara got her hand on the leg of the blonde. "Would you sit next to me?"

"Sara, I…"

"Please?"

Sofia sat next to Sara who gave her the towel and wrapped herself in her own towel. It was fresh in the wind without a cover.

"I owe you an apologize."

"No you don't." Sofia shook her head. It wasn't her business and Sara had no obligation to tell her what happened to her that she reacted this hurt when somebody held her down. A lot of people didn't like it, got scared when they couldn't move their arms anymore.

"I do. I'm not good at doing this and I don't think it's the right place to talk about it…"

"You don't have to, Sara."

"Let me finish at least a bit. It's not your fault, I'm sorry when I scared you. I know you'd never hurt me, never do anything I don't want. You know that I was a foster?"

"Yes." Sofia had heard that when she was in Vegas.

"My childhood wasn't nice to keep it simple. Sometimes things remind me of things that happened at that time and scare me. I know in my head it's long gone, it's past and nothing that happened to me at that time will come back and hurt me again. That's not possible. The problem is, my head forgets to think like this sometimes and there're the feelings of that time coming through and take over. I don't want to react like I do, it's like…reflex. I can't stop it, can't control it.

I never meant to scare you that day, I never thought you'd do anything to me. It's out of my control sometimes, I'm sorry for that."

"There's no need to be sorry, Sara." Sofia took Sara's hand. "I'm sorry to bring back bad memories, I never intended to do so."

"I know. But being pinned to that tree, I felt helpless like I felt when…I was a child. And when you told I'll see what trouble is, that were words I heard when I was a child too. I hear these words all the time, sometimes they trigger a memory, most times they don't. There's no need to be extra careful all I want is you to know that it I might act strange and it's not your fault."

"Sidle, you acted the whole time strange in Vegas." Sofia smiled and poked Sara.

"Says the one who talks the whole time when she is at a crime scene."

"Everybody has her own ways to work. Some others love to walk away without an officer by her side."

"Follow the evidence. And I think you're not in a position to criticize me, Miss I – chased – the – evidence – because – the – idiot – was – likely – to – dump – the - gun." One of the few funny things Grissom told her about their job. Sara had been at the scene too but didn't see Sofia chasing the man.

"He did, we closed the case. I was right."

"You put yourself in danger."

"I did my job."

"Never ever tell me not to walk away to a place where no man is who just killed two people."

"First of all you don't know if there's a man like that because they can be everywhere. Second the officers are there for a reason and third: I won't be at a crime scene anymore. I prefer overnight rides."

"Don't be smug."

"I'm right. Again."

"Yeah, yeah, Misses Right, Always Right." Sara rolled her eyes and grinned. She was glad Sofia didn't try to go deeper and accepted her short explanation. This wasn't the time and the place for a conversation about Sara messed up childhood.


	23. Chapter 23

"Instant noodles and carrots, the food isn't the best about this ride." Sara said when she was cleaning the pot in the lake. They had noodles and raw carrots for dinner.

"No, the best about this is the time with me." Sofia smiled. She had tied the horses to a tress, Churchill would be tied to a bush next to them and then all the work for the day was done. The sun was gone too, they had collected some wood for their fire and magically there were two bottles of beer in Sofia's hand. She had placed them two hours before in the lake so they had nice cold beer.

"Dessert."

"Wow, the dessert makes up for the dinner. Does Jamie not deliver his food?"

"Maybe after the university. I'm afraid we need to pay him then."

"No money if the food is cold."

"That's our only chance to get a cheap dinner." Sofia opened her sleeping bag. Without the sun it was fresh, it was better to sit in the bag and have the beer.

"Is there always a beer on this trip?"

"No. We've a special dinner package."

"Good to know." Sara climbed in her sleeping bag. "It will be cold tonight, won't it?"

"Yes. We'll put all the wood on the fire before we sleep and hope it will keep us warm for two more hours. Until then you have to be asleep or you'll spend the night looking at the stars and freeze."

"I like warm sleeping places."

"I can offer you that we connect our sleeping bags. We can connect the zip and have one double sleeping bag, which means we'll share our warmth."

"I think your son said something about that in case he is out here with me. He said that with a very dirty smile."

"You must be talking about Jon. Slap him the next time."

"Can't do that, he's your son."

"Doesn't matter."

"Isn't it warmer if you are in one sleeping bag? I mean, two connected means there's more space for air to come in."

"It's a sleeping bag, there's not much space at all. It's warmer because you've some body heat in your bag."

"Do you have cold feet?"

"Huh?" Sofia looked confuse. How did Sara mean that?

"Cold feet. Some people get cold feet in bed and there's nothing worse than having somebody with ice cold feet next to you."

"No. I don't have cold feet or cold hands."

"Okay. Let's get connected."

Sofia laughed. She opened both sleeping bags and used one side of the zip to attach her sleeping bag with Sara's on the ground and the other side for the top.

"Can you do that with all sleeping bags?"

"Our sleeping bags we offer are connectable to each other, yes. You can connect two, three or however how many you want. Usually couples use that because they don't want to be separated the whole night."

"As long as they behave themselves."

"We all share one sleeping place, there's no privacy."

"Wait until Cat takes her musician out for an overnight trip, there'll be plenty of privacy for them."

"I haven't seen him since that one night."

"No wonder. He took her to the movie yesterday night. You were out with the guests when he arrived. A really nice guy."

"You talked to him."

"Sure. He wants to study medicine. He'll go to Cheyenne in fall."

"There's no need for a relationship if he leaves her."

"I heart it's possible to visit each other."

"He'll break her heart. I need to talk to him."

"You mean you wan to scare him away."

"Yes."

"Not that I agree on that, it's not my business so I'll keep myself out of that, but you might need this for that." Sara handed Sofia a little box.

"What's that?"

"Open and see. You're a smart woman you might find it out."

Sofia eyed Sara suspicious. It had to be something mean, something Sara could tease her with. Carefully she opened the box, prepared for a clown or something like that, jumping out to scare her. Nothing jumped, nothing made a sound. Under some paper was something shiny and golden.

"You're cute." She hugged Sara and kissed her cheek. "Where did you get this?"

"In town."

"Cute." Sofia held a Sheriff star in her hands. Alice Town County was written on it and her name too. Sheriff Sofia Curtis.

"You can pin that to your jeans like your badge before or on your hat."

"After you made me the Sheriff I've to arrest you, Billy."

"You've no evidence I did anything wrong."

"There are plenty of books telling your story and it's not a story of a good man. I think I've enough evidence to send you to death."

"Maybe this star wasn't the best idea."

"It was. I'm the Sheriff…well I try to be a better Sheriff than the one we had in Vegas."

"Not that difficult."

"True."

"May I"? Sara took the star and pinned it to Sofia's shirt. "Looks good."

"Better than the badge?"

"Can't tell. You know, having your gun on the right side and the badge on the left, you had a really nice swagger…"

"I thought you are focused on evidence, Sara." Sofia snorted with laughter. Were there some new sides of Sara Sidle she would learn of today?

"The guys told me."

"Uh-huh, sure." Sofia grinned. She didn't believe Sara a word.

"Yes."

"You watched me walking and you like the way my hips sway. Very interesting."

"I never said that, you're tossing my words."

"No I understand your words even you say them encrypted. It's alright Sara, I can handle that. I hear that all the time but most of the times nobody says it this nice. So what was your favorite dress for me?"

"I feel like slapping you."

"You can talk about your feelings if you want, no problem."

"Smug."

"With a nice swagger. So what dress, Sara?"

"All black."

"Nice contrast to my hair."

"Talking about your hair…the color…"

"Is as real as your color is."

Sara smiled. She had some color in her hair. Before she left Las Vegas she had taken some dark coloration and she had to say, she liked it. It made her look rougher. What meant Sofia's hair was dyed too. It had been obvious, a few times the blonde was very slack with dying it so that Sara saw the darker roots.

"You want to be Barbie?"

"A dumb blonde with a even dumber boyfriend? Living in a pink world? It has always been my dream." Sofia laughed.

"Is your eye color…"

"Sara I don't wear contact lenses to have blue eyes, they are really blue. There's a limit and I think it's not necessary to wear contact lenses with color to have blue, brown or whatever color is the fashion color of the moment. What about your gap?"

"I tried to get rid off it, no matter what I tried, it stayed so I learnt to live with it."

"It suits you. Gives you a sexy smile."

"Sheriff?"

"Hey, you started it with the swagger, Billy."

"I quoted the guys."

"Who says I don't quote the guys?"

"You don't."

"Evidence?"

"Bite me."

"If I do that you'll slap me."

"You'd deserve it."

"You offered me to bite you."

"Shut up."

"I won." Sofia grin and put the rest of the wood on the fire.

Sara rolled herself together in her side of the sleeping bag. As much as there was a her side and Sofia's side.

"This is so much the opposite of Vegas. No lights, no noise only stars. Like in the desert. You know what you need for your bedroom?"

"A handsome trustful sensitive man?"

"Sounds like the perfect accessories for every bedroom. I take one for Vegas too."

Sofia didn't mention Grissom. They had talk about him today, that was enough. Only if Sara started to talk about her husband Sofia would mention him. She was sure the brunette was better off not thinking of her husband, who didn't care about her.

Maybe it was good that Sofia was a single. Since her relationship with Patrick's father ended she was a single. Over one year. Did she miss something? Definitely. She missed having somebody in her arms at night, being hold and somebody to talk in the evening. Somebody who understood her, who listened, who helped her out with problems, who shared the good and bad times with her.

There had been other men, who wanted to take his place. It wasn't like she had no admirer, the problem was, she was too picky. She didn't want anybody, she wanted somebody. Somebody special. Special in a good way and not like most men in a bad way.

"Are you asleep?"

"Huh? No, sorry." Sara's voice got Sofia out of her thoughts.

"You were far, far away."

"Mhm."

"With the handsome man?"

"I just thought that I'm way too long single."

"How long?"

"Over a year. There hadn't been anybody in my life since Pat's father left. Or we decided it is better to go separate ways."

"When we were out there were men after you."

"You saw them."

"You're picky."

"Yes. I don't want an affair I want a relationship. I want a man who loves my children too. I told you what I want and I'm serious. He needs to be good for my children and me. No compromises on that. I want to be married one day."

"A marriage isn't something that makes your relationship better. I've to say it was nice when nobody knew Grissom and me were a couple, it was…interesting and a challenge to keep it secret." Sara smiled. All the secret looks, hidden kisses and meetings nobody was supposed to know about. It was a kind of exciting.

"I miss being held at night. It's much nicer when you fall asleep in somebody's arms and wake up having somebody in your arms."

"A marriage doesn't mean you'll have that. I can't remember the last time I woke up with my husband by my side…must be last year…"

"I wouldn't be married to somebody who lives on another continent. I'm not strong enough for a relationship like that."

"Sometimes you end up in a relationship like that, no matter if you're strong enough or not." Sara got her arms around Sofia.

"Are you my husband now? Or am I yours?" The blonde chuckled.

"You try to get your hands on me I'll stab you with your Sheriff star."

"So lovely and kind, that's my Sara. By the way, what do I need for my bedroom? You never told me after we drifted away with the perfect accessories."

"Either a huge window or a glass roof. You could watch the stars every night."

"And the handsome man would fit perfectly to that. You're right. I'm afraid I can't afford a roof like that, I might leave the curtain away and use the window I've got."

"Can you take more guests to get more money?"

"There's not more space than for ten people and that's only if two of them are children."

"You're selling a cowboy life, they slept in tents. You know if you get some teepees you can offer them as a cheaper accommodation. I'm sure there are few people who'd enjoy sleeping in a tent. Having the cowboys in the bungalows and the native Americans in teepees. Everybody can be the one they want."

"More money, more work. I like the idea but we need at least one more person who wants to stay with us. I don't have to tell you how much work needs to be done, we don't have people for the work, without Cat's friends we had a huge problem. Nobody wants to live on a ranch, nobody wants to live somewhere in the nowhere and nobody wants to work for the money we can offer."

"How much do you offer?"

"Eleven dollars per hour."

"With the room and the food?"

"No, without. If they want to stay on the farm and get the food too, it would be seven dollars an hour."

"Makes after eight hours fifty-six dollars, six days a week, three hundred thirty-six. Not too bad. Better than a fast food worker."

"The fast food isn't in the middle of nowhere."

"Less chances to waste money."

"People don't see it that way. Would you leave Vegas to stay here?"

"Can't be too bad, you did that."

"Yes. I always dreamed of having a lot of space and animals. Being a detective was fun, I enjoyed it and don't want to miss that time. This is something new, I feel like being home now."

"You're your own boss now."

"Yes. And I can do something good. I know, catching bad guys is good too, the problem is, there are so many bad guys you don't see any outcome, every day there are new cases on your desk. I rescue a horse here, I see it every day enjoying it's life. I see the good and not the new bad. I was tired of death and bad, I wanted something good and alive in my life."

"Four very alive children, a grandchild and around seventy animals. Last ones would be dead if you hadn't taken them to your place."

"Yes, I did something good and can see it every day. You lock away a killer you know you saved somebody's life probably, but you don't see that every day. And there're so many new killers, there's no time to be happy about the good things in life."

"Are you happy here?"

"Yes."

"Then you made the right decision…but I still want to get you back to Vegas. Sorry for that."

"That's alright." Sofia laughed. It was a funny, she and Sara hadn't been close in Vegas and now they went on so well. Time changed sometimes people.

"Good night, tour guide." Sara yawned. "You were right with the sleeping bag, body heat is something nice."

"You should know, you had my rookie in your arms not so long ago."

"Yes he's hot. Ouch." Sara chuckled when Sofia pinched her softly.

"Hands off my boys."

"Hands off yourself…of me. Not that you think at any time during the night I'm your hot handsome man you wanted in your room."

"I'm afraid there's something missing to make you my hot, handsome boyfriend."

"I could make up for that in any other way."

"No Sara, you can't. No matter what you do, you can never be a father for my children."

"Oh. Okay." Sara laughed.

"You've too many dirty thoughts, Miss Sidle."

"I spent too much time with you, 'Tective Licious'."

"I should pinch you for that again. Instead I say 'good night' and if you hear something that sounds dangerous, my gun is in front of me, all you need is get your hand over me and defend us. Or wake me up and I'll protect us."

"I hope it's secured. I don't want to wake up next to a body and explain to the police why you shoot yourself while you slept."

"I was a detective, I know how to handle guns."

"That's all I wanted to hear. Night Sofia."

"Sleep tight, Sara." Sofia snuggled into Sara's arms. Being a friend of Sara was weird for Sofia. Spending time with the brunette alone was something she had never done a few years ago. They were colleagues, not friends.

And now? Sara turned into a friend and Sofia was glad she was still here and not in France. She enjoyed spending time with her, her children liked her, her grandchild was crazy for her and they could joke and talk about old times. If they got the time Sofia would make this trip with Sara again. Maybe to another place, they had the permission to use certain areas of the Grand Teton National Park. Sara needed to see more of the great nature here and Sofia could use some time away from the farm. She couldn't have ordinary holidays, these trips were her holidays. Why not spend a holiday weekend with a friend?


	24. Chapter 24

**3rd week of woofing**

"You make me see Wyoming." Sara leant on the car window. She and Sofia were on their way to an auction. One of these auctions you could buy mustangs. Like Sofia had told Sara once, it was a habit to sell mustangs over the age of ten, that had been to auctions three times and not got sold, to sell to a slaughter. Perfectly healthy horses. It was all about the money, no matter what the owner of the mustangs tried to tell her.

Sofia would meet some friends at the auction, who had also bought these – like they called them with a bitter tone – leftover horses to save their life. They had information about horses that they could see and a list which horse was there for a third time and likely get bought by a slaughter. Cheap money for some meat.

"I wish we had a trip with a nicer place with a nicer reason."

"We might safe a life."

"I hope we don't have to."

"Do you go to these auction every time?"

"Yes. And yes, I never drive home alone."

"You get some men there too?" Sara grinned.

"If you want."

"You forgot your lovely star, you could arrest all the hotties and interrogate them slowly and repetitive."

"Miss Sidle, I beg your pardon?"

"Yes?" Sara didn't correct her. She wasn't Miss Sidle anymore, but it didn't matter. It sounded better when Sofia called her that than Misses Grissom. Or Misses Sidle.

"We're here on serious business."

"Getting laid after over one year is what I call a very serious business."

"I didn't know you're so fixed on sex."

"Can't remember the last time I had good sex."

"Not?"

"Must be a long time ago."

"You could be in Paris, the city of love."

"And be alone? No matter if it's Paris or – whatever the name of the town is we're going to – you need a man to have sex."

"Says who?"

"I don't need to fly to Paris to have with myself. That's a waste of time and money."

"Sara, you should learn to treasure yourself more." Sofia grinned. "If you don't spend money on yourself why should somebody else? You know what, we'll buy you something you don't need, that's expensive and Grissom would never get you. Something you have always wanted to own but never bought because there were too many stupid reasons not to buy it."

"Like what?"

"I've no idea. But you'll know as soon as you see it."

"What will you buy?"

"I hope I don't have anything to buy." They went to an auction, the only place she didn't want to buy something. She was always happy when she could drive home with an empty trailer. She didn't want to buy horses. She wanted them all be sold to nice people, having a good life and never see them again on an auction like this.

"Do you think your kids are alright? Again a night alone."

"They'll be fine. We've the babies with us, less work for them." Sofia looked in her rearview mirror. Patrick and Kieran were asleep. Both had kept Sara and Sofia busy the first three hours, talking, asking question. The most popular question was when they were finally there. Who had invented this question? Who had put it in children's mind?

"Cat will have Dan over."

"What`"

"She didn't tell you?" Sara grinned. This was good, this was something Sara could tease Sofia with and get the mind of the blonde away from the sad life of some horses to the life of her daughter.

"We'll go back right now!" Sofia stopped her car.

"Oh mom." Sara laughed. "Keep on driving."

"How can you not tell me that my baby has a man over?"

"I told you ten seconds ago."

"You told me after we drove over four hours, only a few minutes away from our destination. You think I won't go back home to make sure my baby is alone in bed?"

"You would do that if you really want to. The thing is you don't do this to Cat."

Sofia growled and drove back on the road. "I'll have a serious conversation with my little kitten when I'm back."

"When the cat's away…oh wait, the cat is still there…when the cat's mom is away, the cat and the tomcat love to play."

"You're not making yourself popular, Sara."

"Jon will kick him out of the house."

"Right! Jon! I love him. He'll make sure my Cat will be in bed alone."

"She's sixteen."

"Exactly."

"How old were you when you had sex for the first time?"

"My son is on the backseat."

"He's asleep. So is your grand…rookie."

"It was another time."

"So you were younger." Sara smirked. "No need to tell Cat off then."

"I didn't say that."

"You said that very clearly. Don't want to add an age to it?"

"Not your business." Sofia snapped.

"Okay."

"Talking about things like this when my son is on the backseat. You never know what they understand and remember. Sometimes they need to hear something stupid one time and keep repeating it. Happened with a rank and an adjective."

"Detective Delicious."

"I don't want to hear another word from you until I ask you to say something, Miss Sidle!"

Sara grinned.

"Gossip girl, cheeky gossip girl…" Sofia put her hand on Sara's to make it very clear she wasn't mad only playing. Somehow it was important to Sofia to make this very clear. She didn't want Sara to think something wrong. It would be a hard day tomorrow, Sofia was always very tensed when she went to an auction. Playing with the life of animals wasn't nice. It wasn't something she could handle easily. It got to her, she slept bad the night before the auction and after it.

* * *

"Both boys are in bed." Sara came in the room. She and Sofia shared a room that was connect to the room of the boys.

"I read them a story, Pat fell asleep after the first page, Kieran wanted to know why there was no detective who caught the forty thieves. If the detective at that time were too stupid to catch them."

"What did you tell him?"

"That they weren't as good as his detective. For you it would have been an easy game to catch forty thieves, you have caught over hundred thieves and much more and more dangerous bad people. I think you're another step higher in his personal Olympus."

"I need to tell him I was that good because I was allowed to work with the best CSI in the world."

"Cath will be flattered."

"I didn't talk about the strawberry blonde, I talk about the brunette with the cute gap, who gets pissed off so easily and looks like she wants to kill me right now. Am I not allowed to call you the cute investigator with the sexy gap? I might teach him to call you 'sexy investigator'. No, that's too complicated. Sexy Sara?"

"Shut up."

"Gorgeous gap?" Sofia grinned. Sara had given her a nickname she needed to give this questionable honor back to the investigator.

"I'll hurt you."

"Don't make me laugh or arrest you."

"Don't dare me."

"Cute CSI? No, that's lame. Sensitive Sara? No…irresistible investigator. I wonder what Kieran will make out of that."

"I wonder what Cat makes with the night."

Sofia's eyes got narrow and she stared at Sara..

"You!" She pushed her index finger in Sara's chest. "I had it out of my head and you brought it back. Now I need to call her, to tell her to send this guy away. I need to call Jon, he has to make sure this wimp won't touch his sister."

"If he's a wimp he won't do anything."

"Better safe than sorry."

"And you'll tell your daughter tomorrow night what? She'll ask why she's not allowed to meet her boyfriend while her mother had at her age her lovers over."

"I didn't have boyfriends over. My mom would have shot them."

"You stayed at their places, whatever. Her point will be you had relationships, you had sex and she isn't allowed to have sex because…?"

"I say so."

"Okay. I bet that was the same argument your mother gave you."

"Sara you're making yourself very unpopular again."

"I tell you things you don't want to hear, I know. Shall I give you the phone so you can call Jon and Cat?"

"Leave me alone." Sofia laid on her bed, rolled herself together and pouted.

Sara grinned. She knew she was right. With a smile she sat next to the blonde.

"You trust Cat, she's a smart girl, she won't make you…won't give you another rookie. She wants to study and she knows both isn't possible."

"I overreact, don't I?"

"You're a caring mom."

"I shouldn't say anything. You're right, she's sixteen, she's smart, she'll take care of herself. And I prefer to have her sex at home in her bed than somewhere on a backseat in the parking lot, a park or the bathroom of a dirty pub."

"I doubt she'll have sex in one of the three pubs in Alice Town. There are no parking lots, only if you count the one on front of the shopping center and the backseat…I think that's a classic everybody has to discover once."

"Not this weekend."

"You know if they stay together and he goes to college, she'll visit him and they'll have sex in his room."

"I know." Sofia sighed. Why was she acting like her mother? She had promise herself when she was young she would never react like her mother when she was a mother. And now she was doing exactly what her mother did.

"Do you think I'm a bad mother?"

"No! I think you're the best mother a child can get. You love them, you care for them and you worry. Even when there's no need to worry and you know that, you still worry because you love them."

"She'll be alright and I won't tell her what to do. I've no right to do so."

"You're her mother, you're the only person in the world who's allowed to tell her what to do."

"Mhm." Sofia hugged her pillow. "I was younger than her."

"No need to tell her."

"If I say something she'll ask and I won't lie to her." Sofia got up. Maybe it was the best to go to bed. "I'll get ready for bed."

"Don't worry too much." Sara pulled Sofia in her arms. "She'll be alright and you're a good mother."

"I hope. Will you stay awake?"

"I need to change and I'm ready for bed. We'll need all our energy tomorrow."

"Tell me about it." Sofia sighed and went into the bathroom.


	25. Chapter 25

Sara got her sleep shirt out, changed and took the phone. There weren't many numbers she knew without a problem, this one was new.

"You're missing me, Sara?"

"Sure sunny boy." She had given Jon her cell phone number. Same with Cat and Jamie. When she had to go back to Vegas she wanted to be able to keep in contact with all three of them in the easiest way.

"What can I do for you?"

"Tell me about the ranch, everything alright?"

"Did mom ask you to call?"

"No I waited until she's in the bathroom."

"She worries about Cat." Jon knew his mother, he knew what was going on in her mind.

"Yes."

"Dan is here."

"I told her."

"Actually he's not too bad. He helped with the horses, we needed to show him everything he has no clue about horses but he tries. And he played some songs for the guests so they were happy. Now he and Cat are upstairs. Don't tell me I'm suppose to go up there and tell him to keep his hands off Cat and go home."

"You want to do that."

"I said DON'T."

"I heard what you said as I heard what you didn't say."

"He isn't her first boyfriend."

"Did I hear again something you didn't say?"

"Maybe."

"I'm sure your mom doesn't know that."

"It should stay that way until Cat tells her. Do I leave them alone?"

"Yes."

"Good. They're up since one hour I'm sure they're busy."

"You're alone?" Usually Jamie wasn't around in the evenings. He vanished in his room after dinner to have some private time.

"No, little bro and me are in the living room, we're watching football, have some chips and a beer."

"Good you should enjoy the weekend as much as it's possible. Jamie is alright?"

"Wait." Jon threw his cell phone to his brother.

"Yes surrogate mother?"

Sara had to laugh. "Step son, are you drinking beer?" If he called her a mother she could behave like one and ask annoying questions.

"Yes."

"Are you drunk?"

"Not yet."

"Not yet?"

"Just kidding. We'll have two beer and go to bed. How are you?"

"We're fine. Sofia worries about Cat as you can imagine, the boys sleep and we'll go to bed soon."

"Take care of mom, she's not good at these auctions."

"I'll give my best."

"You'll manage fine."

"Thanks. Shall we bring something for you guys?"

"A husband for mom and a loony for Jon, nobody else wants to be his girlfriend."

"Okay." Sara could hear how Jamie gasped under a punch of Jon.

"And one for you."

"I'm fine, thanks."

"We need a nice girl for you too. I'll see if I get Mister Universe, a loony and a nice girl. See you tomorrow."

"Good night, say hello and good night to mom."

"I will."

Sara got in her bed. Two queen beds, she liked big beds better than the small beds they had in the hotel in Paris when she and Grissom ended up in a twin room because somebody took the wrong booking and there was no free double room available.

"You talked to the boys?" Sofia came back in the room, switched of the light and walked to her bed in the darkness.

"Yes."

"Cat?"

"Up in her room with Dan."

"I'll be cool, I'll be relax, I'll be fine." Sofia repeated it as a mantra.

"So will she."

"The boys?"

"Watching football, eating chips and drinking beer."

"That are my boys."

"Another mother would get mental because they're drinking."

"I told you I don't mind when they have a beer and I prefer to have them their beer at home than in a pub."

"Jamie would be in trouble if he drinks a beer in a pub."

"Yes."

"The life in America: you can be a soldier at eighteen, leave your country to fight in a war for a year, come back, lost an arm and a leg and won't get a beer in the pub. Crazy. They can drink at that age in France without a problem."

"You think the legal age for drinking is too high? What about all the kids who end up dead in their car because of drink-driving?"

"I think if you let them drink beer with sixteen and let them drive with eighteen they had their share of alcohol, know how it works on them and don't experience with it when they can drive. Take the car away, let them drink beer and let them feel how alcohol changes their perception."

"Interesting point of view. Might work. What can I do about my daughter?"

"Buy some condoms?"

"She has them."

"Does she?" Sara tried to sound surprised.

"Sure. It's not her first boyfriend, as soon as she had one I gave her a package. Better safe than sorry."

"I thought…"

"You never know…or I don't know. She might tell me one day."

"Did you tell your mom?"

"Hell no! She'd kill me. No matter how old I am now." Sofia was horrified.

Sara laughed.

"I'm serious. She finds out her daughter didn't spend the night with her best friend but with a boy she'll kill us both even after all these years. Twenty-three years she thought I was a good girl, studying and truth was I entered the house and left it a few seconds later through the back door and sneaked in his car."

"Twenty-three years? You were fourteen?"

"I said I was a nightmare as a teenager and I'm not suppose to say anything because Cat is an angel compared to me."

"Sounds like."

"My mom said she wishes me a daughter who is like me." Sofia had to laugh a bit. She had the words of her mother still in her ears. It was after Sofia's sixteenth birthday and she had spent the night with her boyfriend of that time. That time her mother had found out what she had done.

"How old were you?"

"Too young."

Naturally Sofia wanted to ask how much 'too young' meant but something in Sara's voice told her not to ask.

"I think that's what all parents say about that."

"Most."

"Do you want to have breakfast at the auction tomorrow?" Sofia felt it was better to change the topic. She had hit a sore point, she was sure it was something from Sara's past, something of her childhood. She didn't want the brunette to talk about anything that made her uncomfortable. She was sensitive enough to feel the tension.

"What do we get there?"

"Everything from a toast to pancake and sausages."

"I think I'll stick with the pancake."

"The boys will try to get ice cream. We need to agree on a no."

"I don't think ice cream is a breakfast."

"Good."

"Fruits?"

"They won't like that."

"We need to make them believe fruits are great."

"Yeah they are…healthy."

"Delicious."

"That is the detective." Sofia grinned. She wouldn't share that with anything else. Maybe with chocolate but not with fruits.

"Right."

Sofia's thoughts left the room and went to Cat. Was her baby okay? Sure she was. Probably she was happy and slept in Dan's arms. He wasn't too bad. A little bit shy, so was Jamie and Sofia didn't hold that against her son. Better a shy boyfriend than one of these narcissistic football player who changed their girls more often than their underwear.

And Jon and Jamie were there, if anything was wrong Cat knew her brothers were there for her. No need to explain something, they would just help her. Everything was alright, no need for Sofia to worry. She could trust her children and she knew they weren't babies, they knew what they do.

Her day would be more difficult. It broke her heart all the time to see these beautiful animals locked away in trailer, knowing they had a traumatic experience behind them and she was never sure if the man, who pretended to be a nice horse lover wasn't in reality a horse meat lover. She knew there were some men buying the mustangs pretending to be a father who looked for a horse for their child. And instead of going to a farm and a meadow the destination of the mustang was the slaughterhouse. They killed horses without thinking twice what they were doing.

A little whine got her attention. It came from Sara's bed. Sofia turned and saw the brunette tossing around.

"Sara?" Sofia didn't need to be a mother to recognize a nightmare when she saw one. Sara was having one. Slowly Sofia left her bed and walked to Sara.

"Sara?" No reaction. Only more whine and tossing. It looked like Sara was fighting with somebody.

"Wake up!" Louder Sofia talked to Sara and grabbed her shoulder to shake her awake.

"Noooooo!" Sara yelled, tried to slap Sofia's hand away. Sofia's instincts were faster than Sara's hand or Sofia's brain. She got the brunette in her arms and held her.

"It's alright, it's me, Sofia. You're safe, it was a nightmare. Nothing more, only a nightmare, honey." She stroke Sara's back.

"Sofia?" Sara's voice was thin, barely hearable.

"Yes, it's me. You had a nightmare, only a nightmare. You're safe, we're in a motel room. No need to worry." Sofia kept Sara in her arms.

"Only a dream." Sara sat up, coming to reality.

"Yes, only a dream."

"Did I wake you up?"

"No I was still awake."

"I didn't want to wake you up…disturb you…"

"Don't be ridiculous, Sara." Sofia stroke her finger over Sara's hand.

"I…it was a dream…"

"Yes."

"Sorry for…"

"If you say you're sorry one more time I'll pull you under an ice cold shower until your head is working again. It's not your fault, there's no reason to apologize and I don't want you to feel bad for something you can't control. You didn't sound like you enjoyed that nightmare. So no more 'I'm sorry' am I clear?"

"Yes, so…" Sara stopped and corrected herself. "Totally."

"Good." Sofia smiled a bit. "And now move over."

"Why?"

"I'll do my job as a detective and protect my CSI. If that nightmare comes back I'll kick it's ass."

"You don't have to…"

"I didn't ask you to move over, Sara, I told you to do so." Sofia pushed Sara aside and took her in her arms.

Sara didn't complain and laid back down.

Sofia pulled Sara close to her, listen to the breath of the brunette. If it wouldn't get more steady Sofia had to try something else. She had no idea what Sara's nightmare was about and if she wasn't making it worse by holding her but she didn't want to leave her alone.

"If you don't want me to hold you tell me, okay? I don't want to make it worse for you, I hope it will make you feel safe." Sofia whispered.

"You don't make it worse, I feel safe with you."

"Good. I can stay if you want."

"Yes."

Sofia took Sara's hands in hers. Her children had a troubled past, they had nightmares, they were sensitive and Sara was like them. Sofia had no idea how the woman could work as a CSI being this sensitive but she thought it had to do with her past. She must have been a victim and was fighting for all the other victims today. A way to cope with the past, with all the demons.

"Jamie and me are very alike." Sara said quietly.

Sofia made the decision to wait until Sara went on talking. She didn't want to press anything, didn't want to force Sara.

"I was seven."

Sofia stopped breathing for a second. Was that her answer of the question how old Sara was when she had her first sex? Sofia was talking about sex Sara wanted and she didn't want to make Sara remember anything traumatic she had been through in her childhood. She had asked for an experience with a boyfriend, Sara had tried to hide from her parents. A clumsy boy, caught in the act on the backseat, something they could laugh about.

"Not the best age."

"Nothing you wanted."

"People don't ask."

"I hope he's rotting in prison."

"He is rotting, yes. Not in prison, but he's rotting. Probably rotten already."

"They killed him? Even better. They should do that to all these men."

"My mom killed him."

"She was able to get him?"

"He was my father."

Sofia forgot to breathe. That was worse than she had expected. Sara was raped by her own father? Sofia didn't need to ask, it was not likely that he did that only once to her. They don't stop as long as they've the chance to go on.

"My mom killed him six years later." Sara answered the never asked question.

"Six years?"

"Most of the time he just punched the crap out of me. And her."

"Just?" That wasn't 'just' for Sofia.

"Better than the other thing. One day he was after me, I had already gotten a few punches and tried to hide in the kitchen. He came in, he knew where I was, there was no chance to escape. He didn't pay attention to her, he saved her for after me. I knew it would be more than the punches that time, I could see it in his eyes. He never saw her taking the knife. She stabbed him. Once, twice, I don't know. I was under the table. A yard away. I saw him, I saw her. I saw their eyes and I was so scared she would kill me too. She wouldn't kill him at all. He would survive and kill me and worse. I think I rolled up, cried until the police found me there. Neighbors had called them. He died, she came in a mental house, I ended up in a foster home."

"Oh Sara…"

"Don't say you're sorry, it's not your fault."

"I didn't want you to go back there when I asked you…"

"I know. I told you it's not your fault. Sometimes things trigger memories." Yes she had told that Sofia the weekend before when they were on their overnight ride.

"I knew you and Jamie are close I should have think of something like that and shut up."

"You can't think of all bad possibilities before you talk to me. I don't want that anyway. Most times I'm okay. And you got me out of my dream before he could get me."

"That's good." At least Sofia thought that was good. She had no idea how often Sara had seen and lived through these bad experiences already and she was glad to ended another one. Every second Sara had to see, feel, remember these years again were too much.

"I wish my mind could forget."

"Do you…are they haunting you often?"

"Not that often anymore. But they are still strong and when I have one of these dreams I'm awake for the rest of the night, scared to sleep again. Grissom held me, he woke me up, he tried to calm me down, he did everything he could do but whenever he got me out of a dream like that a man was the last thing I wanted to have around. Not even him and I knew he took care of me. I felt guilty for it and couldn't change it. The last times he was in France and it wasn't better, it was worse. Nobody woke me up, I lived through the whole years again, all the pain, the fear, everything. I'm very thankful that you woke me up, Sofia."

"Anytime again. Do you want to stay awake? Want to watch TV? Have something to eat? Anything I can do?"

"Hold me, wake me up if I get this nightmare again. It shouldn't happen. They don't come back when somebody scares them away."

"I'll make sure they'll stay away." No matter if she had to stay awake the whole night, Sofia wouldn't let Sara go back to this place.


	26. Chapter 26

There weren't any more nightmares that night. Sofia wasn't sure if Sara slept a lot, she herself was awake often to make sure the brunette wasn't having a nightmare. When she woke up for the last time Sara was gone. First Sofia worried then she smelled coffee and knew, Sara was about to make breakfast in the little kitchenette.

What a night. She had never thought Sara's childhood had been that bad. She knew it wasn't good, especially after Sara had mentioned a few things over the last weeks and her close relationship to Jamie was another hint of there was something that connected them. That it had to be the worst thing you could imagine wasn't something Sofia wanted to think of.

Sofia wasn't sure if it was the mother or the friend who worried most. She couldn't ignore all these things she had learnt about Sara in the last night. How was she suppose to react? Should she talk about it with Sara now that there was daylight that gave both some comfort? Or was it better to ignore it, to leave it in the past, not to reawake so much grief?

"Morning." There were shadows under Sara's eyes. Barely visible for people who don't know her, visible for Sofia. With two mugs Sara came in the room, left one mug on the nightstand and took the second with her to the other bed. Now they were in each others beds.

"Morning. Are you awake long?"

"No, fifteen minutes. I thought it's time for a shower, we need to get up soon anyway and it's better if one is ready to make sure the boys will be dressed in time while the other is in the bathroom."

"Shouldn't the mother worry about that? Get up soon and prepare everything for the babies? While the other one sleeps."

"Not when the mother has her personal slave to do things like that and bring her some coffee to bed." Sara smiled.

"Personal slave? I'd call you my woofer if I have to give you a work title. Otherwise, what do you think of when I call you my friend?"

"Sounds good."

"It does, doesn't it?" Sofia got up, left Sara's bed to go to her bed. "Did you sleep after all?" She put the coffee away.

"A bit."

"I can see shadows." With her finger she drew the line of the shadows under Sara's eyes. Carefully she let her finger run over the skin while her eyes studied Sara's face who had closed her eyes more because it was a reflex than of fear.

"I'm the darker one, I can say it belongs to my look. You detective, on the other hand, are the blonde one, you need some make-up for your shadows. They don't suit you."

"They don't suit you either."

"You know, CSI, nightshift, short-handed, it belongs to me."

"I don't like it."

"Neither do I."

"Do you like waking up in my arms every weekend?" Sofia smiled a bit.

"It becomes a habit, doesn't it?" Sara chuckled a bit.

"Yes."

"So where will we share our bed next weekend?"

"I thought of staying at home. You know, let the kids go away for a night and be at home. No drives, no rides. Having a barbeque, a beer, play with the babies. A cozy night."

"Sounds good."

"Yes it does." Sofia took another sip of her coffee. "I'll have my shower before both boys are awake. We need to be out of here within the next forty-five minutes to be on time and have the time for some breakfast."

"I'll wake them up."

"Gently."

"Of course. I'm the CSI I don't play soldier, kick the door open and yell 'Get up men!' like they were at the police academy."

"I don't do that." Sofia furrowed her brows. "That's a horrible way to wake somebody up. It's much nicer with a kiss and a smile."

"Is that a hint how I should wake you up the next time?"

"You woke me up with coffee, that's even better."

"Sofia, believe me, coffee is nothing compares to my kisses but I respect your choice. Coffee for you, kisses for the boys."

Sofia laughed. "That sounds fair." She let her hand stroke over Sara's arm before she went for her shower. No talk about what Sara had told her last night but it seemed like the brunette was fine – as fine as she could be after a night like this. Sofia would keep an eye on Sara.

* * *

"How do I recognize a slaughter?" Sara asked when they sat down on a bench, Pat and Kieran between them.

"Evil red eyes." Kieran said seriously.

"Really? Okay, I'll have a look for that. In case I can't see their eyes, is there anything else? A big knife in their hands? A horn?"

"You see and you'll know. I've got three horses that will be here for the third time. Paul will get one of them and Annie another so if there'll be a buyer for the third one we might go home without a horse." Sofia hoped it would come this way. Not that she didn't want to give another mustang a nice life, she was there as the last rescue before the slaughter got them and there were so many horses.

"Can I have a mustang too?" Kieran asked.

"You've your pony, young man. When you're too tall for your pony you'll get a mustang. Or another horse."

"I want a mustang."

"You'll get a mustang in a few years. Bobby will be perfect for you the next five or six years. Only if you make the decision to grow very fast we need to get you a mustang sooner. But think of that Bobby loves you and loves to spend time with you. He is your friend, do you want to give your friend away?"

"No." With some guilt in his eyes Kieran looked to the ground. "Can't I keep him when I've a mustang?"

"Of course you can keep him but you need to take care of him and the mustang, that means you have to be strong and a good worker."

"I can do that."

"I know. A few more years, Kieran. The next thing we'll do is finding a pony for Pat. His first own pony. What kind of pony do you want, Pat?"

"Black."

"A black one? Okay we'll look for a black one."

"There's the first horse." Sara felt a little bit excited. She knew their goal was NOT to buy a horse but if they did, it would be the first horse Sara had bought. Was with somebody who bought a horse.

The first half dozen horses went through, two were sold, the other four had two more chances. Then the first of their horses on interest came in. Nobody tried to buy it. The man got the price down a bit. Sofia's eyes laid on a man she knew was a slaughter. There was no need for him to bit, if nobody bought the horse he'd get it later for less.

Within the last second Sofia's friend placed his bit and got the horse. She sighed. It would live, it would have a good life. An eleven years old mare. The next two mustangs got sold and it was time for the second of their horses. Again nobody was interested in the first place, but when the price sunk a young man bought it. An up and down jumping girl next to him let Sofia hope this horse found a family.

"We're out of this for today." She said to Sara. "If number three won't find a home Annie will buy it."

"This isn't fun, this is sad." Sara had to swallow a few times.

"No, it's not fun when you understand what it is about."

"I'll take the kids for a walk. Care for some ice cream, boy?"

"Yes!" Patrick smiled.

"I want to stay." Kieran's eyes were on the next horse.

"You can bring us some ice cream." Sofia suggested. "I'd like to have some."

"We'll do that. Come on Pat, we'll find something delicious for us."

"I recognized that hint, Sara." Sofia gave her the evil eyes which Sara answered with a wide smile. She hadn't meant it that way only after she said these words she realized what she had actually said. Well, she didn't regret it.

With Pat on her hand she walked to the carriages with the food. An ice cream much too big for Patrick and one too big for herself Sara smiled. That was good.

"Mom say too big."

"Yeah I know, we won't tell her. We'll have our ice cream and go back after we had enough. I think we deserve as much ice cream as we want." Sara could remember when she was a child she had dreamed of having as much ice cream as she wanted. Not that she got any ice cream at all, all she had done was watching children having huge portions of it with their parents. Now she could buy her own ice cream and she didn't want Patrick to remind that he wanted ice cream and didn't get anything.

"Horse looking?"

"Yes we can look at some horses if you want." She took Patrick on her right arm and held her ice cream with the left. This way she was sure the boy didn't share his food with a dog or a horse. Both were safer up here and he wasn't heavy, Sara could easily carry him.

"Look there's a nice horse." Sara sat Patrick on a bench. In front of them was a light brown horse with a black mane.

"Fat horse."

"Yes, she has a few pounds too much…" Sara cocked her head. Or this horse was pregnant. In foal.

Two men came to the horse.

"Thousand and she's yours." The older one on the left side said.

"Too much."

"Come on, look at her."

"That's what I do. It's not freaking meat, she's in foal. I can't use her yet. Five hundred. And another hundred for the foal."

"Take them both now for six."

"I'm not a freaking rancher, I don't want to have a mare standing around, waiting for the foal and after all the days and work I can use her."

"Five now."

"You really want to get rid off her?"

"Can't use her and if I wait until the foal is there the wife will make problems. Stupid sensitive bitch. Can't kill a foal. She has no idea about quality. Good meat."

Sara was about to drop her ice cream. How did they talk about the horse and the foal?

"So five."

"I'll give you six." Sara didn't realized that she called these words out. Both men turned and looked at her.

"I beg your pardon?" The owner said.

"I'll give you six." Sara repeated this realizing what she was doing.

"You take her right away?"

"Yes."

"Give me the money and she's all yours."

"Take a check?"

"Sure."

"Okay." Sara got her wallet out and wrote a check. That was why she kept them with her, in case she needed money and couldn't pay with her credit card. And she had thought of giving them away. Thanks God she didn't do that.

She bought a horse. Only by saying a sentence. She didn't bid, she didn't checked anything. All she did was saying she'd pay six hundred dollar. The man handed her the papers of the horse and took the check.

"Enjoy your horse." He gave her the rein.

"Thanks." Sara looked at the horse. Her own horse. What was she suppose to do with it? She couldn't take it to Vegas. She could but she needed to find a place where she left it. And the foal. She had no idea when the mare was due to give birth.

"Horse."

"Yeah…mine." Sara couldn't believe her ears. "Your mom will kill me."

"Fat horse."

"She'll have a baby soon, that's why she's so fat. She'll be a mommy."

"Baby horse."

"Yes, we'll have a baby horse and a mommy."

"Nice horse."

"She is, isn't she?" Sara smiled a bit. If she saw it that simple like Patrick did, she could stop to worry about what she did and even worse, what she had to do.

"I think we need to find your mom." She wanted to lift Patrick on the horse but stopped. She had no idea if this horse was broke in. It was too dangerous to sat Patrick on it. She threw her ice cream away, got Patrick back on her arm and the rein in the other hand. Slowly they made their way back to where they had left Sofia and Kieran.

"Do you see your mom?"

"Yes."

"Go and get her here please." Sara let Patrick down and followed him on his way to Sofia. There was no chance she could go up there with the horse. She saw when Patrick reached his mother, saw when Sofia started to look for her, she caught the eyes of the blonde and waved her towards herself.

Sofia took Patrick on her arm, took Kieran's hand and came down to Sara.

"I won't tell you that you bought too much ice cream for my son and forgot mine."

"Sorry." Right she was supposed to get some ice cream for Sofia too. That had slipped her mind when she bought the horse.

"What are you doing with this mare?"

"I bought her."

"What?"

"She in foal…"

"I can see that…"

"And her owner was about to sell her for five hundred dollar to a slaughter. They had been arguing who kept her until the foal was there, the owner didn't want because his wife would give him a hard time when she finds out he sells a foal to a slaughter and the slaughter said he can't use her in foal. They met a five hundred, he wanted to take her, let her give birth to the foal and kill both. There's no reason why…I couldn't let them do that, I had to…"

"Sara, I'm not telling you off." Sofia placed her hand on Sara's arm.

"You know where the man is?"

"No, I think he left after I gave him the check. Why?"

"This mare is young, it's probably her first foal and she hadn't been on an auction for three times. It's illegal to sell her to a slaughter."

"I don't know…I didn't pay attention…"

"It's alright. Let's get her out of here." Sofia took Sara's left hand. "It's alright, really."

"I'll take care of her, I don't intend to give you any work, I…"

Sofia stopped, pulled Sara in her arm and hugged her. "Don't worry. I'm glad you bought her. You saved two lifes Sara. You did exactly what we are here for. I'm happy you did what you did and that you were there, could stop him from selling her to a slaughter. Really. Stop worrying and apologizing."

"Okay."

"The only mistake you made was not getting me my ice cream. You have to make up for that later."

"I will." Sara smiled a bit.

"Good." Sofia let go of the brunette and walked back to car. Sara followed her, having her first own horse behind her and Kieran on her hand.

Carefully they got the horse in trailer.

"Okay, kids on the backseat, we'll get home."

"Now?" Kieran asked surprised.

"Yes. She in foal I've no idea how far she is but she looks like she due soon. I want her on the ranch when she's due and I want her to feel comfortable. Plus it's a long drive. We'll leave, have some food later on the road. Sara, can you help the boys, I'll get her some water."

"Sure. Thanks." Sofia just smiled and took the bucket with her.

Sara had bought a horse. Only ten minutes she had been gone and came back with a horse. In foal. First Sofia had been surprised then she was proud. Sara had done exactly what Sofia wanted anybody to do: she saved a life of a horse. Two.

She could say Sara acted without thinking, buying a horse when you live in Las Vegas in an apartment isn't like buying a cat you could leave in your apartment while you're away. But she wasn't mad, she was glad. A young horse, in foal, and Sara had rescued both.

She secured the water, stroke the horse, mumbled a few words to calm it and left the trailer. Tine to leave.

"Ready to go home, boys?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Good. Ready to go home, Sara?"

"To the ranch? Yes."

"Sara, that's home for you. The next few weeks at least. I won't drive you to Vegas, you can be happy if I let you leave at all in three weeks." Sofia blinked at Sara and started the engine.

"Want to chain me to the barn?"

"Don't put ideas in my mind."

"Just asking." Sara grinned. Time to go home. Yes, it felt like going home even when she knew she was going to her holiday place. Somehow the ranch had become a home to her.


	27. Chapter 27

**4th week of woofing**

"Want some company?" Sofia came with two mugs of hot chocolate in the barn. Sara had made herself comfortable in here since the last night. With a sleeping bag and her cell phone she was making sure Fortuna was alright. The vet had told them the mare was due the next few days and Sara wanted to be with her horse when she gave birth to her foal.

"I always want nice company." She moved over to make some space for the blonde who gave her a mug.

"Thanks."

"Thanks for the drink."

"How is your lady?"

"She's fine. I think she's wondering why I sit here all night."

"She knows you like her."

"You think?"

"Yes. And she likes you too. She knows you saved her life and the life of her foal."

"How?"

"She's a smart horse, you can see it in her eyes. And you can see how much better she feels in there. Her eyes were dull when you brought her over at the auction, they get brighter every day." Fortuna reminded Sofia of her own kids. Her three big ones had sad eyes, dull eyes. After a few days she had seen some life, after a few weeks and the adoption there was life in their eyes and when she looked in the eyes of her children now, she saw love, joy and happiness. All the things a mother wants to see in the eyes of her children.

"Thanks for keeping her."

"That's what this place is all about. You want me to buy her?"

"No. I want to give her to you as a present for all the great days you gave me here. You never treated me like a guest. I could not have complained if you had, we weren't close but you took me in like a long lost friend."

"To be mad at you for things that happened years ago, things you didn't do intensely would be stupid. I try not to act too stupid. And you were nice to me when you arrived, you could have taken your things and say, you don't want to spend your time with me. It's not holidays for you when I'm around."

"What would be stupid."

"Sometimes we don't act smart."

"I didn't act smart a few times around you. I tried to change that."

"You did. Don't we just forget the stupid start we had? It's a long time ago, it doesn't matter anymore. What matters is now and what will be."

"I hope it will be good." Sara smiled.

"So do I." Sofia leant on Sara's shoulder and watched Fortuna. The mare was standing in her stall, looked like she was half asleep and didn't care for the two women. A cat had made it's way in the stall too and slept in a corner.

"You know this cat over there had been on Fortuna's back earlier."

"Really? That's Mickey."

"Mickey Mouse?"

"Don't ask me, the kids gave all cats names of cartoon characters. The dogs got named after politicians and the cats after cartoon characters. So yeah, he might be Mickey Mouse."

"Okay, in that case Mickey sat on Fortuna's back. He was climbing around and ended up on her back and she didn't mind. She looked surprised but didn't try to chase the cat away. I take that as a good omen if I ever I get to ride her."

"She needs to be break in."

"I know. Can you do that?"

"Do you want me to do that?"

"Yes. I don't want a stranger around her, hurting her. You or one of the kids. If that's possible."

"It is." Sofia smiled. She had done that only once but she planed to have Sara involved as much as possible.

"We'll start tomorrow."

"What? She's in foal…"

"Not with the ride, Sara." Sofia placed a hand on Sara's arm to calm her. "We start with the bridle. She needs to get use to that and the saddle. With the saddle we'll wait until she has her foal. Bridle and some commands is alright for now. And the most important thing you do already."

"I do?" Sara furrowed her brows. What was she doing? She didn't do anything so far.

"Yes. Making her feeling safe around you. It will be easier when she trusts you."

"I won't be here or do you want to start, I mean start with the ride, within the next two weeks?"

"No. I'll give her some more time. Trust is always important, Sara."

"True." Sara smiled.

"Do you want me to stay here with you?"

"Don't you need your sleep? The straw isn't that bad, a bed is better. And you want to start the overnight trip tomorrow."

"I'll be fine."

"If you're really alright, sure I'm be happy to have you around."

"It's weekend, I had you in my arms the last two weeks, you know, three times lucky."

"Yeah three times lucky but not third time get lucky."

"Not?" Sofia laughed amused.

"You can't get me with chocolate, Sofia."

"Right, that was my heart you get with chocolate, I mistook that. I need…what do I need to get your heart?"

"You need to find out yourself, but I can tell you I prefer chocolate over bugs; by now."

"Still no call from Grissom?" Sofia felt sorry for Sara. The brunette wanted to see her husband but he was too busy. She stayed here, he told her off for that even when he knew that he had no time for her. He didn't call her in hospital and changed their plans and stayed longer in Paris.

"No."

"I wonder if he knows what he's missing out."

"Nothing, he has his bugs and work."

"That's nothing compared to you, Sara."

"For him it's everything. I really thought we can do it, it was alright when I came back and he stayed. Sure it wasn't perfect, to see him only every two months or something like that but I thought we can work it out like that."

"Will you give up your job and go back to Paris?"

"I've thought of it. Every night. I'm his wife, I should be with him and not be somewhere else. The thing is, he is my husband, he should be with me and not anywhere else. I'll try to reach him this week, talk to him. We need to find a solution, I can't go on like this. I don't mind, no, that's not right, I do mind but I can't handle being married to him and feel like he cares more for his work than for me. As long as I knew I'm the most important person and thing in the world for him, I was fine. I don't know that anymore, I'm not sure if there's nothing more important to him than I am."

"But you don't want to give up your job either."

"I'd give it up if I knew that I gave it up for a life with him. The thing is, I'd give my job up and he would keep his, he would be away sixteen hours a day and I'd sit there alone. We don't have to live in Vegas but I want to live with my husband together or I don't need a husband at all. A marriage, like any other relationship, makes only sense if you and your partner are together, if your partner is the most important thing for you and you don't prefer to spend your time with a job, sport or anything else."

"I hope he'll understand what you mean and realize that you're his life and not some bugs or a job."

"Years ago I had agreed with him that the job is the life but now…I think I want more from my life than a job."

"Family?"

"Time is running for that. At least for children."

"Rumors have it that you can adopt them." Sofia smiled. I was a nice way to create a family with adopted children. She had never thought she would do something like that and then Jon and Jamie and Cat had entered her life and she knew, she wanted them to stay in her life. And the kids wanted to stay with her.

Sofia could see Sara with one or two children she had adopted. And she was sure the brunette could walk into a children's home and see which child needed to be out the most.

"I'm not sure if I'm a good mother."

"Seeing you with my children and my grandchild I can tell you, Sara, you're good with children all ages."

"You think?"

"I know."

"You said 'grandchild' and not rookie."

"A weak moment."

"Your son is younger than your grandchild, Sofia, that tells me, you're young."

"A young grandmother, yes. Well, my son is a young father."

"A good young father."

"Family is the most important thing for Jon. There's nothing that can keep him away from his family."

"I wish Grissom would be a little bit more like him…on the other side Grissom has never been a family man. I should have known when I married him."

"He loves you."

"Not more than his work. I don't doubt that I'm the most important person in his life but there is something that's more important and that hurts. I can't bury myself in work anymore, can't ignore my feelings and private life with the help of work. I tried it. It brought me into hospital."

"And you ended up here." Sofia fulfilled the sentence.

"The only good thing about it. I need to call your cousin and thank him."

"Make sure he won't see you again while he's working and he'll be fine."

"Probably." Sara yawned. "I'll have a last visit in the bathroom. Shall I bring your sleeping bag?"

"I'll get it myself, I need the bathroom too."

"Warm feet?"

"Yes." Sofia laughed.

"In that case you can connect our sleeping bags. It's not that cold but maybe I do like your arms around me. And it's weekend, three times lucky."

"Yes, I'll get lucky!" Sofia laughed and bopped Sara's side on their way out.


	28. Chapter 28

Sofia watched Cat galloping away with some of the guests. It was their turn to have the overnight trip together. Sofia liked to have some time with her daughter. They'd meet again in a few minutes, stopping at a river where the guests could take a little bath before they took them up the hills. They made the decision this trip had another destination than the lake. They wanted to take them deeper in the Grand Teton National Park to see some moose.

First Sofia had thought Cat would disagree to this trip, it took her away from Dan for two days but Cat never complained. She wanted to talk to her daughter about her boyfriend for a while, unfortunately both had been very busy with the ranch. Cat did most of the rides and the time she wasn't helping she spent in Alice Town with her friends and Dan.

She wondered if she was back in time on the ranch to see the birth of Fortuna's foal. She had been once to a birth of a foal and was amazed. Only twenty minutes after the birth the foal could stand and an hour later it had started to explore it's new world. Compared to horses humans were very slow. And when she was due with Patrick it had taken her more than thirty minutes to hold her son in her arms. Five hours. She didn't know that five hours could be that long.

"Alright, it's time for some swimming." She stopped Kirundi. With her were five people who weren't safe enough for a gallop or didn't feel like it. An elderly couple from Washington wanted to have some rides and take a lot of photos. They had horses themselves, weren't beginner, only not after an adrenalin rush. A father with two children between ten and twelve were beginner and weren't allowed to follow the gallop group.

"How long will we stay here?" The father asked.

"About an hour. I'll make some lunch." She made sure all horses had some water before they were tied to bushes.

Cat and the other five joined them a minute later.

"We took the longer way for a long gallop." She stopped Espérance in front of her mother. "Okay guys, time for a swim. Please let your horses drink something first and then enjoy the water yourself." She tied her mare next to Kirundi.

"Everything alright with your group?"

"Yeah we had a great gallop and took the longer way so they had the change to take some photos. Want a hand with the lunch?"

"Sure, thanks." They used a bigger gas cooker and a big pot. Trips like this weren't trips for gourmets. Instant noodles and some vegetable that don't need to be cooked.

For a few minutes they worked together without saying a word before Cat broke the silence.

"Say it, mom."

"What?" Sofia tried to sound innocent.

"Come on, you want to talk with me about Dan."

"Don't tell me things I don't want to hear."

"You want me to lie to you?"

"No."

"Good, I don't want to lie. Yes mom, he is my boyfriend, yes I do sleep with him, yes I do practice safer sex and no I don't want to have children."

Sofia had to swallow a bit. Her daughter was very straight forward.

"You don't want to have children yet."

"I don't want to get pregnant at all."

"Why?"

"There are enough children out who wants to be adopted. No need to give birth to a child when there are some waiting for parents." She smiled. "You did the same."

"Patrick isn't adopted."

"No but you adopted us first. I know Pat wasn't planed, you were over the moon when you were pregnant but he wasn't planed. You were happy with us three. I want to give children a good home too. Children, who didn't have the luck to grow up with parents who loved them, were there for them. For that I need a decent job, that brings us back to college and university. I can't do that if I get pregnant."

"You know exactly I'd take care of the child so that you can go to college and university." Sofia sighed. She didn't want to say that, her head told her not to say things like that, to encourage her daughter to have sex and get pregnant. On the other hand she knew that Cat knew Sofia wouldn't let her down and would do everything so that she could go to college and university.

"I do. One grandchild is enough, you're way too young to be a grandmother. Mind if I wait another ten years or so until you'll get grandchildren from me? Adopted grandchildren."

"I don't mind at all." Sofia stroke Cat's arm.

"Good."

"Why don't you bring Dan home?"

"I did."

"Last week when I was away. You don't want me around him? Are you ashamed of your mother?" Sofia had enough tease in her voice to make it clear to Cat she didn't think she was ashamed of her.

"Your own fault, mother." Now Cat's voice sounded like Sofia's voice should sound as a concerned mother.

"Why is that?"

"You scared him. The way you looked at him when we met you and Sara in the restaurant, you knew exactly it would scare him. You eyed him like a suspect."

"He gets scared that easily he isn't a man for you."

"Mom would you mind making my own decision who is a man for me?"

"I do."

"Then stop acting like he did something wrong. I mean I expected Jon to kick him out after dinner, I was surprised that he stayed away from us."

"Your brother worries about you."

"My brother thinks I might end up like he did. Just because he's too stupid for safe sex it doesn't mean I'm like him."

"Dan will leave after the summer."

"Yes he'll go to college and we'll see each other only on weekends. I hope you won't forbid me to see him."

"You should know I don't act that stupid."

"Not even when I want to spend the whole weekend with him?"

"Not even then."

"Thanks. I promise I won't be away too often, I know you need my help here."

"This is my job, I need to make sure everything runs smooth. Your job is your school, I can't take tests for you. School is more important than helping here. And of course you can have your weekends away. You're not a work slave."

"No I'm your daughter. Having me away once or twice a month and Jamie busy with his college courses online there'll be plenty of work."

"I know I'm looking for some help already. Looks bad at the moment. I might need you to leave some flyer in your school. If we get one or two people to help in the evenings and on the weekends it's a start."

"Wait until I'm a vet and make good money. We can pay them more and there'll be more people willing to come here."

"Don't you want to go anywhere else? See something of the country, the world."

"I can do some traveling, sure. Leaving you? I don't think so. Only if you go on treating my boyfriend as a suspect. I know you'll do the same with the next and if I ever made the decision to get married you'll try to scare away my husband."

"I won't." Sofia pouted. Maybe she'd give him the cop eyes again. Maybe she would check him. Maybe she would try to scare him to see if he would fight for her daughter. All these thoughts could go back to the very back of her head. Cat wouldn't get married any time soon. Sofia hoped.

"You better don't. You should get a boyfriend yourself."

"No time."

"Nonsense."

"You're out in Alice Town, you know what kind of men are available. Do you want to have one of them here? One of the drunks? The gambler? The cheater?"

"There must be a man in that town who isn't a drunk, gambler, cheater."

"Yes there are. All these men are already married and won't leave their wife."

"What's about Vegas?"

"What is with Vegas?"

"Why didn't you find a husband there?"

"Because I was too busy working."

"And Matt?" Patrick's father. Sofia didn't talk much about him.

"We met here, he is a nice man and he left. I knew he'd be here for only a couple of months, I can't blame him for leaving. You know him."

"He should have stayed with you. He left you and his son."

"He is still in contact with us."

"Yes, in contact. That's not the same like being here. You're too special to be alone, mom."

"Thanks Honey."

"Shall I go out with you and look with you for a decent man?"

"Another musician who is not scared of me?"

"No you need somebody who isn't scared of cops…another cop maybe. That gets me easier in clubs."

"You're not twenty-one, you don't go in clubs."

"Sure." Cat grinned.

"I don't hear that." Sofia covered her ears. As a mother and as an ex cop she had to listen to something else than her daughter's words.

"You let the boys drink. They had some beer last weekend when you were away and you knew that."

"I don't hear you."

"You can't ignore my words."

"I should call everybody to lunch."

"Looks like Detective Delicious is more a Detective Deaf."

"I'll kill Sara one day for that nickname."

"It suits you perfect."

"Get the guests out of the water!"

"Love you too mom." Cat kissed Sofia's cheek and jumped up.

"Children get cheekier every day. Awful." Sofia smiled. Her baby wanted to leave her in fall to see her boyfriend. Slowly she began to understand her mother when she told Sofia wasn't allowed to go to Los Angeles to see her boyfriend when she was sixteen. Did Sofia care? No, she took off anyway. Would Cat do the same? Sofia hoped they came never in a situation that let them find out.


	29. Chapter 29

"I wonder who is more nervous, Fortuna or you." Jon came with an apple in the barn. He offered it to Sara who had skipped dinner to be with her horse.

"It's the first time I see a horse foal. On top of that it's horse I bought, my horse. It's like it's my baby too." She took the apple with a smile.

"What makes it your horse."

"I want to give it to Sofia. There's nothing I can do in Vegas with a horse."

"Move out of the city?"

"I don't like my new apartment that much but I'm not experiment enough to have a horse and a foal and I think they'll be perfect here. You can make sure they'll have a good life."

"Sounds like you don't plan to come back after you left in two weeks." Jon's voice sounded sad.

"You'll lose your newest helper, yes. Not for good, I'll be back. I promised your mother I'll try to come up here for Christmas."

"What's about your husband?" Jon's hand almost touched Sara's wedding ring.

"I'm not into gambling but I bet ninety to ten he won't come here, he'll be busy in Paris."

"He should be with his wife."

"Everybody has his or her own priorities. Grissom's has been always his work. I'm the same, we're both workaholic."

"You're not a workaholic."

"Of course I am, that's how I ended up here. I worked too much, had two break downs and your mother's cousin sent me here. Sixteen hours a day and more how do you call that?"

"Desperate." He said serious.

"Why desperate?"

"That sounds for me like a runaway, like trying to hide from something you can't escape from no matter how hard you try. You stay at home, you'll think of your problem, you don't want to think of it, you know it's there and it's on your mind all the time. You need something else to occupied your mind, not to think of it in the first place. Sixteen hours plus of work, barely time to eat, sleep, not so much time to think. Some people try to drown their problems, some realize these bastards can swim, some try to eat them away to find out, they'll stick to them and some try to escape in work…"

"And end up here."

"…get their body to a point that it breaks down, what doesn't stop the brain from thinking. Or could you stop thinking when you had your break downs?"

"After I had some rest I could think again, yes." She had been caught in hospital, exposed to her thoughts, caught in a trap of thoughts, that she had ignored all the time she could use her brain for work. Without work she had to think about her life.

"Did you miss your job the last four weeks?"

"No." Sara had to admit. She had thought first she'd die because she was so bored on a farm in the middle of nowhere. She had found out soon she had been wrong. It was everything but boring here.

"You're not a workaholic, Sara." He didn't say again he thought she was desperate, there was no need to make it even clearer. The worst thing for Sara was, she couldn't disagree completely.

"At the moment I'm a horsaholic. I can't stay away from Fortuna."

"That's much better than being a workaholic."

"Not when I want to get my work done. I wasn't a real help today. I helped with the horses in the morning, I fed the rest of them and the dogs and cats in the evening, that's it. Fortuna keeps me busy all time."

"Like I said I think you're more nervous than she is."

"Maybe." Sara gave the rest of her apple to her horse. "This might be the night."

"Do you sleep in the nights or do you sit here all night and watch her?"

"I sleep and wake up all the time. Sofia slept like a baby."

"She was tired, I caught her asleep on her desk in the afternoon."

"It's too much stress for her, she needs a break."

"Tell her. I try to tell her that for weeks and she doesn't listen. Says she can't go away in summer time, we're too busy. It would be a hell lot of work if she takes a few days off but she won't help id she ends up in hospital."

"Like somebody else you know?" Sara smiled. She got the hint.

"Yes. Two stubborn heads, awful."

"Power ladies."

"I like power ladies; when they have the strength to let somebody take their power away and take a shoulder to lean on for a rest. I need to get mom away for a few days, if I can't do that during the summer, I'll have to send her away in fall."

"Tell her the summer months are better, Cat is at home, Jamie has time, it will be more work in fall when he starts to study."

"I know that. We need a helper."

"Nobody wants a job?"

"I sent the last one away."

"Why?" Sara didn't know there had been somebody around for a job. Why did Jon send him away when they were so much in need for help?

"When somebody comes in who smells like an ashtray and a bottle of beer he isn't the right person for us. We don't need somebody falling asleep drunk in the barn with a cigarette in his mouth."

"Shit."

"Yes. We're better off without people like that."

"That's true." Sara shivered a bit. There was a fresh this night and she had the door open because she had found out, Fortuna got nervous when the door was closed. Probably she had been caught in a dark closed place and was scared of them now.

"You're feeling cold." Jon put his jumper around her shoulders.

"A bit."

"Come on let's sit down." They walked to the sleeping bags. Sofia had left hers here and had another one with her on the trip. Sara pulled the connected bags up so that they were able to lean on the wall and were covered.

"What am I suppose to do when Fortuna foals this night? I've no idea what I've to do. Do I have anything to? Does she know what to do? Does she needs help?" Sara had felt safer with Sofia by her side last night. If anything happened, all Sara could do was calling the vet and the worst thing was, she had no idea when something might happen, that wasn't supposed to happen.

"Usually she'll know what to do."

"If not?"

"If not she might need some help. Like when she's too close to a wall and there's no place for the foal to come out. Or if it won't come with it's forelegs first."

"What can I do then?"

"The vet checked and said the foal lies exactly the way it should be, you don't need to worry about it."

"And the walls? What if I can't get her up? If I can't move her to make some space for her foal?"

"I can stay here with you if you like."

"You need some sleep…"

"I'll sleep and you'll wake me up when something happens. This way I'll be right here and you don't have to run to the house and get me."

"Thanks."

"No problem. It's your first foal, of course you're nervous."

"Have you been nervous?"

"Yes." He smiled.

"How was it?"

"Complicated. I wasn't…adopted at that time, I was hiding in here. Mom had left the mare in the barn because she knew she was due. She left her alone to have dinner, I was sitting behind the old tractor, watching the mare when I realized she was ready to foal. She laid down far too close to the wall, there was no space for the foal.

I waited a minute or two, hoped mom would come back, she made the decision to grab something and have it in the barn. That didn't happen. So I tried to get the horse up. Wasn't the best idea, the mare was nervous, didn't know me, I scared her. I got her away a little bit from the wall, still it wasn't enough space.

There were two possibilities: waiting if mom comes out in time or get her. Waiting put the foal at risk, getting her put me at risk. I made the decision I could run and hide somewhere else, the foal had no other chance than me. So I ran to the house, got her out. She didn't ask who I am, what I was doing here and how I knew that her mare was too close to the wall. She simply ran in the barn, got me with her, got me to help her with the mare and at the end we both watched her foal.

It was amazing, I was allowed to remove the amniotic sac. Mom simply disinfected my hands and told me what to do. I helped a foal to come to this world and it was the first time I felt like I did something good, something special. After an hour, the foal stood and drank, mom took me in the house, we shared a glass of champagne and she offered me to stay. It was past midnight, I got my own bed, my own bathroom and felt like a VIP.

I fell asleep instantly, dreaming of the foal. When I woke up I wanted to leave, sneak out of the window in case she had called the police or anybody else who might got me back to the foster home. Feeling strong after the good sleep I thought I could simply run if anybody was there, after she was only a woman and I'm a strong young man.

She had left breakfast on the table for me. Young men are always hungry so I ate, cleaned the table. I had some manner. Feeling now was the time to leave I wanted to have one last look at the foal. Mom was there too. She didn't ask who I am, where I came from she simply asked if I want to stay with her. All I needed were six more month until I was allowed to be on my own. I figured I could hide here, get food and a bed, work with animals and after that I could go anywhere I wanted without having the cops after me.

That I ended up with a detective was something I had never expected. Sofia had known from the first moment I was a runaway and she told me that she knew the next evening. My first intention was to run, figuring it made no sense because no matter where you run to from here, somebody with a car catches you. There nowhere to hide. She said she had no intention to cause me trouble, she wanted to help me like I had helped her horse. I don't know how and why but somehow we ended up that she adopted me. Was hard work for her, but she got what she wanted."

"A son."

"Yeah. A seventeen years old son. She never asked me to stay but there was and is no other place in the world I'd rather be than here. This is where I belong, this is where my family is. Home is where the heart is and my heart is here. With these people."

"I don't think you could have found a better place."

"No."

"Like I couldn't have found a better place to spend my summer."

"Not? A beach. An exciting city."

"I love the beach, I love surfing, I hate people. I mean, I hate to be crowded. This is perfect, there are some people around, everybody is friendly, everybody like animals. So different to Las Vegas."

"I've been to Vegas once, mom took me with her to see grandmother. The lights might look nice from above but there's too much trouble, too many people, too much of everything. I think I'm not made for a city."

"I'm sure I'll feel strange back in Vegas after two months here."

"Did you feel strange when you came from Vegas to here?"

"No it was great. So quiet. I didn't miss anything. And I don't miss anything yet."

"Nothing?"

"No." She even didn't miss Grissom anymore. Somehow she seemed to have accepted that she was here and he was in Paris. It hurt, she hadn't forgotten him, but she didn't miss him that much anymore.

"Your husband?"

"I've tried to call him the whole day, the answering machine was all I got. I know he got my call, I know he knows all the calls without a message are mine and he hasn't bother to call me back. I think he's still mad because I'm here."

"He's selfish."

"So am I."

"No, you did the only thing that made sense. You're not here because you don't want to see him, you're here because he has no time for you. If he had told you he's waiting for you, wants to take you away for a week or two, you had taken this flight to Paris. He messed it up. He isn't interested in spending time with you. You're not selfish, you're desperate." There was his connection between her break downs and the desperation. She had known from the beginning he was talking about her and Grissom without saying the words. Now he had said them and she couldn't disagree. He was too right.

"Being a desperate housewife can make you successful." She said talking about the famous TV show.

"It doesn't make you happy."

"No, probably not." Sara looked at Fortuna who looked again at her belly like she wanted to see what was going on in there.

"She might foal this night."

"I'll stay with you. As soon as she gets ready we'll get ready too. Everything we need is in the big box, we need only to get the warm water."

"What do we want, a mare or a stallion?"

"Who cares as long as it's healthy?"

"True." Sara smiled and leant on Jon's shoulder.


	30. Chapter 30

She must have fallen asleep like. When she opened her eyes she found herself in Jon's arms. Fortuna was awake, still standing.

Sara tried to get out of Jon's arms, it was wrong to be there. She belonged in Grissom's arms, he was her husband. He was…Sofia's son. That was reason enough not to be in his arms. He must have less problems with that, his arms were firmly around her, there was no chance she could slip out without waking him up.

Sara's attention got away from Jon and his arms when she saw that her horse had laid down. Did that mean she was about to foal? The best reason to wake Jon up.

"Jon?" She whispered. She didn't want to disturb Fortuna, didn't want her attention away from the foal.

"Jon! Wake up." She shook him and he opened his eyes.

"Fortuna laid down."

"Oh." He realized he had Sara in his arms and blushed a bit. "Oh…sorry…"

"Is there enough space?" Sara didn't care about his arms anymore, her horse was more important.

"Yes, that's plenty of space." Jon guessed there were two yards between the horse and the wall. He got up carefully. "Talk to her, I'll get the water."

"Don't leave us alone!" Sara grabbed his hand.

"I'll be back in a minute. She looks alright, Sara. Talk to her, tell her she does a good job. That there is no reason to worry."

"Hurry."

"I will. I promise."

"Can't see you running."

"Like my mother." He mumbled and smiled a bit. Sara complained, she wasn't too nervous. He worried more about her than Fortuna.

"You'll be fine, Fortuna. Your foal will be with you soon. I mean, it is with you all the time but you'll be able to see it. I wonder how it looks. Not that it's important, the only thing that counts is the two of you are healthy…I'm sure she or he will be a great foal. You picked a great father for her or him.

I wonder if there's anything I can do for you. Jon gets some water, I don't know what for. Maybe to give you a good clean after the birth. You don't have that when you're a wild mustang. Or do you need that to drink?"

"We need to clean her after the birth."

"You're back." Sara found herself in Jon's arms.

"Told you I'll hurry."

"The water isn't warm, that looks hot."

"By the time we need it will be warm."

"What do we have to do?"

"Nothing. Stay out of her way, so far everything looks like it suppose to look. I called the vet, he'll be ready if we need him."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Try to relax a bit. She'll feel if you're nervous."

"Right…relax…"

"Breathe in and out, in and out…"

"Don't sound like I'm in labor."

"You're far too relaxed for that."

"Did you…have you been there when Kieran was born?"

"Yes of course. I couldn't do much but being there, let her call me all kind of names was the least thing I could do."

"That was very kind of you."

"I'm a very kind man."

"Sometimes."

"I kept you warm."

"I never asked for your arms."

"You felt uncomfortable?"

"Keep your eyes on the horse." She grinned. It didn't feel too bad, it was nice. Her problem was, she got used to be in somebody's arms. Three times in Sofia's arms, now it was Jon who held her. She needed to be independent again. There was nobody waiting for her in Vegas to hold her.

"I can see a leg."

"Where?" Sara's attention was back on Fortuna.

"See the amniotic sac? The white thing."

"Yeah."

"We'll wait how she's doing. If it's too difficult for her you'll disinfect your hands and pull it out."

"Me?" Was he kidding her? She couldn't do that. She had no idea how to do that. She had never done anything like that before. She had never seen anything like that before. She would stay here and pray. And even in that area she wasn't good.

"All you have to do is pull Sara."

"I don't want to. I'll hurt her or the foal."

"Nonsense."

"But what if…"

"Let's wait and see. So far she doesn't need any help at all." Jon put his arm around Sara's waist and pulled her closer.

Sara wanted to protest first, changed her mind and relaxed a bit. She could feel Jon was relaxed, he knew what to do and when to worry. Everything was fine, everything was like it was suppose to be, there was no reason for her to worry, to be tensed.

"Look there's the nostril." Jon whispered.

"It's covered with the amniotic sac, it will suffocate…"

"No, it gets it's oxygen still through the umbilical cord. Right now it's alright like this. When it's still covered when Fortuna is in her last labor we need to free the nostril."

"You! Not me."

"We." He smiled. "And you can cut the umbilical cord. Don't say again I've to do that, we a proud mother and do it yourself. All you have to make sure is that you'll leave around five inches for the foal. It's not difficult Sara, you do more difficult things in the lab."

"You've never been to the lab you don't know what we do."

"I've a mother who used to work in a lab and I think she knows a bit."

"Acting supervisor."

"Yeah push her rank."

"Call her an officer and she'll strangle you."

"A mall cop is worse."

"She shoots you."

"I was lucky there was no gun around."

"Why did you call her a mall cop?"

"To see how she reacts, how much pride is in her. I know now."

"She's smug and arrogant, full of pride."

"Remember you're talking about my mother, I won't accept when you make her that bad."

"You know I like her and I don't mean it in a mean…you're trying to distract me!"

"It worked. See it's halfway there."

"Oh my god…it's black."

"At the moment."

"I won't be white when it's dry."

"No but it can be white later. Even a white horse is born black. Having a golden brown mother I think you'll have a brown horse, not a white one. We've no idea how the father looks like so there might be a surprise."

"I don't really care as long as both are healthy."

"It looks like that so far."

"Can it be that the nostril is free?"

"Yes. You can cut the umbilical cord now."

"Do I have to?"

"No you don't have to."

"I'd prefer to give her all the privacy she can have and only do something if it's better for her or the foal. She does a good job so far you said, she might do the rest too."

"It's her first foal but she is calm and not scared, she's doing a very good job."

"It's there." The foal was out completely. For a second it laid still in the straw then it moved. Sara exhaled in relief. For an instant she thought something was wrong with the foal.

"It moves, it breathes, she looks fine, they'll need a moment to get some energy. Everything is done, Sara. Congratulations, your first foal is there."

"Oh Jon." Absolutely overwhelmed and happy she hugged and kissed him…and realized she didn't kiss his cheek but his lips.

"Sorry." She blushed and turned to step a few steps back. Jon simply hold her.

"Don't run, watch them. You don't want to miss when it tries to get up."

He was right on that. Sara watched how Fortuna got up and broke the umbilical cord. So she didn't have to cut it. Carefully Fortuna moved to her foal, sniffed and started to clean it.

"Put on some gloves."

"Why?"

"You mare did a good job but it's better if we disinfect the umbilical cord on the foal and clean her a bit. The afterbirth will start soon, we need to make sure it is complete. Otherwise we've to call the vet. And we have to make sure Fortuna wasn't injured during the birth. Come on, I'll show you what we have to look for." He gave her some gloves and took a bucket with warm with him. Quietly he mumbled a few words when they entered the stall to calm Fortuna. She was a young mother, it could be she didn't want human around.

"You were so great, Fortuna." Sara said. "I'm so proud of you. You have a baby now and what a beautiful baby. We'll leave the two of you alone as soon as we're sure everything is alright with you and you didn't get hurt." Sara stroke softly over Fortuna's back while Jon checked on the foal.

"You've got a son, Fortuna. Congratulations for that."

"He's a lucky boy, your Lucky."

"He surely is. And how are you, mom?" He checked on her. "You're fine too. Good in that case we can leave you alone and watch from our place."

"We don't have to do anything?"

"I did everything. We'll need to clean her after the afterbirth, that can take up to two hours. We can leave them alone so long."

"Okay. I'm glad you're both okay." Sara stroke Fortuna for the last time, looked at Lucky and left the stall. She didn't want to touch the foal until it could stand and it's mother had taken care of it. She didn't know why, it could be a kind of respect.

"Well, I think I'll get us some champagne to celebrate and tell the vet everything is fine so far. Enjoy watching the foal to get up."

"Will you come back?"

"Sure with the champagne and my baby brother. He'll be mad that we didn't wake him up. A second later he'll be in love with Lucky and forgive us because we had to stay here to make sure everything is alright."

"They are fine." Sara had to tell herself to believe it. It looked so easy, like Fortuna didn't do anything special. A birth was something natural and special at the same time. Sara was sure it was most amazing thing she had ever seen.


	31. Chapter 31

**5th week of woofing**

"I need you. No, I want you!"

"Huh?" Sara looked up. She had taken a break and treated herself with a few minutes in the hammock. After four hours collecting horse dunk on the meadow around the ranch she deserved a cold drink and a short nap.

"You want me?"

"Yes I want you, Sara Sidle."

"Well you can have me but I'm not cheap, Sofia Curtis."

"I'll pay good money for a good service."

"Serving was your part."

"That was in the past." Sofia sat on a chair next to Sara.

"What can I do for you?"

"Give me your place in the hammock."

"Uhm, no."

"Do I have to climb next to you?"

"Do don't dare that."

Sofia grinned. Any other sentence had made her stay on her chair, this one challenged her to do something crazy and she felt like doing something crazy. More or less elegant she let herself drop on Sara.

"Ouch, crazy bitch!"

"You need to eat more, you're not soft." Sofia slipped next to Sara. It was cozy in the hammock with two people to say it in a nice way. Too tight was closer to the truth.

"What has gotten in your mind?"

"Why?"

"Climbing in the hammock? While I'm in."

"Don't you like being that close to me? Everybody wants to have a hot blonde by her side."

"Who said you're a hot blonde?"

"You. They way you told me how sexy my swagger is."

"Was. You're not a detective anymore, no badge, no gun."

"I've a gun and I've a badge – a sheriff badge. Means I'm still sexy, adorable and everybody wants me."

"I'm not into blonde."

"I'd dye my hair for you, Sara. How do you want me?"

"Not that nuts."

"Are you scared? Feel uncomfortable?"

"I won't give you that satisfaction."

"What kind of satisfaction do you want me to give?" Sofia coked her head.

"Sofia!" Sara rolled her eyes, tried to get up and out of the hammock but Sofia simply rolled on top of the brunette.

"Get down! Now!"

"Say please."

"Move it or I'll hurt you."

"You'd never hurt me." Sofia slipped down from Sara, left only her head on the brunette's shoulder.

"Did you have something wrong in your lunch?"

"I didn't have lunch."

"Maybe that's the problem."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"After you annoyed me? Harassed me? Destroyed my break? What do you want?"

"Can you take over the ride for me? With Jamie."

"Sure. You don't have time?"

"I've a date."

"A real date?" Sara was surprised. She didn't know Sofia met somebody or was planning to have a date.

"Yes."

"With whom?"

"The postman."

"What?"

"Our postman. He's cute, he's single and he asked me out for a walk and ice cream."

"Sounds like a mix of kindergarten and senior club."

"Shut up."

"How old is?"

"Thirty-five."

"And why does he wants to see you in the afternoon and not the evening?"

"Because he knows I've children and he doesn't want me to leave them with somebody. This way we can meet, I'll get the boys after our date and go home."

"That leaves no time for…privacy."

"It's the first date."

"And? Since when are you a saint?"

"Since I've a family."

"A family or a grandchild?"

Sofia gave Sara the evil eyes. "That was mean."

"Like jumping on me. But yes, I'll do the ride with Jamie. I'm glad I'm good enough to help out and not be a millstone around your neck."

"You never were."

"I was. Too slow for the rest of the group. I needed a personal guide for the lake instead of joining the group."

"I enjoyed our ride and I hope you'll give me the honor of having another ride with me before you leave."

"Next Friday? I'll leave Sunday, that brings us back on Saturday."

"Deal."

"If you don't have a date then…"

"I will have a date, a date with you."

"Don't you want to ask if I want a date with you?"

"That brings us back to the beginning that I'm a hot and sexy blonde with a desirable swagger and everybody wants somebody like that."

"You're awful smug, Sofia."

"And you like me."

"That makes me awful stupid."

"For me you're sexy too." Sofia kissed Sara's cheek an d got up. "I need to get dressed up. How much make up do I need?"

"You're beautiful without any make up."

"Awe, I should really date you."

"I don't think people here want that, you need to move to San Fran to date me."

"I'd move to wherever you want me to be to date you."

"Your hormones are out of control."

"I'll fix that until I see my postman…you know when the postman rings twice…"

"I don't want details…only one detail."

"Which one, Honey?"

"What time do I need to help Jamie?"

"At three."

"Okay. Enjoy your date."

"I will, thanks. And thanks for taking over."

"No big deal. Behave like you want Cat to behave."

"I know how she really behaves…"

"I said how you want her to behave."

"Spoil sport."

"Exactly." Sara grinned.

* * *

"Wow, you finished all horses." Jamie came out of the house to Sara who had finished saddling Caza.

"Yes but I'd feel better when you check what I did."

"I'll do that." He placed his arm around her and pulled her with him.

"Where will we ride to today?"

"Where would you like us to ride to?"

"I think my horse feels like water."

"We'll can have a ride to the river, offer a swim, it's warm."

"It is."

"Do you want to take Fortuna with you?" Sara had started her training with her horse. Fortuna accepted the bridle already.

"No she and Lucky are fine on the meadow. Lucky is really cheeky, he bopped me today when I was cleaning his playground." The foal had sneaked up behind Sara and bopped her with his head so that she almost fell.

"He likes you, he likes playing with you."

"So do I."

"You need to stop him. It's cute at the moment, it won't be cute in six months."

"I know." Sara hated the thought of stopping Lucky playing with her. She wanted him to be happy.

"He'll still love you. And so do I, you did everything right. All saddles and bridles are perfect. I've no idea what to do without you."

"The same like before?"

"Once you've known happiness it's hard to live without it."

"You're crazy."

"A bit."

"Like your mom. She jumped in the hammock I laid in."

"She jumped on you?"

"So to say. She never did that before."

"She's nervous because of her date."

"That's no reason to jump in the hammock I lie in."

"She realized you'll be gone soon and she knows she'll miss you like we all will miss you. So she tries to be close to you."

"I'll miss you too." Sara sighed. She didn't want to think of the fact that in ten days she was back in Las Vegas. One more week on the ranch and her time was over. In two weeks she was due to be back in the lab. For the first time in her life she didn't look forward to go back to work.

"I hope you'll come here for a visit."

"I will."

"Christmas?"

"If I get some days off I'll be here. Do you cook something special?"

"I'll cook whatever you want me to cook."

"How could I say no to such an offer?"

"You can't." Jamie grinned.

"But you have to visit me in Vegas too."

"I will."

"Promise?"

"Sara, I made the decision I want to study in Vegas. The online college. I need to go to Vegas every three months for tests."

"If you don't want to stay with your grandmother you can stay with me."

"Sounds like a good offer. Do you have a kitchen?"

"Yes." Sara laughed. "As good as new."

"I'll change that and will make it used."

"Does that mean I'll get warm breakfast when I come home from work?"

"If I can arrange that with my tests, yes. Do you go out with me? Show me the clubs in Vegas?"

"I thought you'll start your studying this fall and not in three years."

"Don't you know any cops for a fake I.D.?"

"Your mother."

"Wrong person."

"Your grandmother."

"Even worse."

"In that case we'll see some shows and that's it."

"Visit a nice restaurant in a casino?"

"That's for sure."

"Cool." The guests came to them and ten minutes later they had left the ranch behind them. Jamie guided the group while Sara was the last one, making sure nobody got lost.

Sara felt a little bit sad. There were less than ten afternoon rides left. Now that she could hold herself on top of Caza and enjoyed the rides, she had to leave again. Could she arrange to come to Wyoming on a regular basis? Like once a month for four days or so? She worked enough to have overtime for a couple of days off, it was about time to use them. And she had obligations here: Fortuna and Lucky.

Her mare seemed to know that Sara saved her life, whenever Sara was around Fortuna came to her, it was like with Kirundi and Sofia. And Lucky was a very cheeky and curious foal, he tried to see and explore everything. This way he had met the claws of the cats and found out dogs don't like it when you bopped your head in their belly.

"Want to join them in the water?" Jamie asked when they stopped at the river.

"I don't but I think my horse wants."

"Unsaddle her and let her go in herself."

"I can't saddle her after that."

"No you need to ride home bareback."

"I do that for my Caza." Sara unsaddled Caza, took the rein of and let her horse walk into the river to have a bath.

"She'll miss you."

"I'll miss her too. And I'll miss Fortuna and Lucky."

"When you're back you might be able to ride on Fortuna. Mom will make sure she'll be a great horse for you."

"She is already a great horse. But yes I occupied Caza long enough."

"If it makes you stay here you can have her longer."

"Are you trying to keep me here, Jamie?"

"Yes." They sat on a stock of a tree on the ground.

"I look forward to see you in Vegas."

"I'm not a city person, all these people make me nervous…I was born in Detroit. I guess cities give me a bad memory."

"I've the same with B&Bs in old buildings, you now, Victorian style."

"Did your foster parents have one?"

"No my parents."

"Oh."

"It weren't my foster parents…they weren't nice but they never touched me. My parents…my father was the one who hurt me."

"My mother." Jamie took Sara's hand. They didn't need to talk about details, they knew the details.

"She ever paid for that?"

"Kind of. Five years. She'll live somewhere happy now, not thinking of me, sleeping good and having fun with whoever."

"Your father?"

"Left us when I was two or three. I guess she saw him in me and made me pay for all the things he did to her."

"My mother killed my father."

"He deserved it."

"A part of me thinks the same. The other parts wishes him in prison for the rest of his life. Dying seems too be too easy and killing him in front of my eyes didn't make it easier."

"She killed him in front of your eyes?"

"Yes. He was after me, passed her and she stabbed him. Not the best thing for a thirteen years old girl."

"Nevertheless you're seeing violence at work every day."

"My therapy? Helping the ones who can't help themselves. They are all victims and need somebody who fights for them."

"Nobody fought for us."

"No."

"A nutrition is a worthless job compared to that."

"Food can make you happy."

"It doesn't help."

"Wait until you're heart broken over a girl, you'll find out what a good medicine ice cream is."

"Guys take beer as medicine."

"I consider you as a smart guy."

"So I drown myself in ice cream? With cream, vanilla sauce, fruits, cookies, an umbrella…"

"You're an artist."

"No, that's Cat."

"You too. Food artist."

"I heard of sandwich artists."

"Yeah I saw them too."

They watched the guests in the water for a while. There was no need to rush them, it was warm, they enjoyed the water and there was no need to cook dinner for Jamie today. It was pizza night, all pizzas were already in the oven, Jon would turn it on at seven and when they came back dinner was ready.

"May I ask you something, Sara?"

"Sure." It was easy and nice to talk to Jamie.

"What's wrong with you and Jon?"

"Nothing." Maybe there was a topic she didn't want to discuss.

"Tell me it's not my business but don't lie. That's too cheap."

"Jon and me…we didn't fight."

"It's complicated?"

"Yes."

"And you don't want to talk about it with me."

"With nobody. There's no need to talk about it, it's not like Jon and me don't talk to each other or fight."

"You don't. Don't fight. But there's something that wasn't there before, that makes both of you uneasy. He can be an idiot sometimes, you can be stubborn, maybe the two of you should leap over your shadows and get it out of the world. You're both smart enough to talk it through and find a solution to whatever happens. If not I hope whatever it was won't make you stay away longer."

"I don't think Jon can do anything to make me want to stay away."

"He could but he won't. He likes you, his son adores you, why should he do something that makes you want to stay away from here? Besides the fact that I'd kick his ass."

"He's scared of you?"

"He will then."

"Will you stab him with chopsticks?" Jamie was about to learn how to eat with chopsticks and had dropped his dinner last night the whole time. At the end he had stabbed his food so that he wouldn't starve.

"You're funny, Sara. Instead of making fun of me you should teach me how to use chopsticks."

"I can do that. Not with the dinner tonight but with whatever you'll cook tomorrow."

"Rice? Curry rice with vegetables."

"Sounds perfect."


	32. Chapter 32

"How was your date?"

"Disappointing." Sofia sat next to Sara on the veranda, petted Churchill's head and leant on the railing.

"Why?"

"Remember that I told you we met in the afternoon because I need to be at home for the kids in the evening?"

"Yes, really thoughtful of him."

"Mhm. You can get a room for an afternoon."

"Oh."

"Yeah. All he was after was sex. It's a pity that I'm not twenty-five anymore, he looks good. Unfortunately it's not the most important thing anymore."

"He thought you're a single mother, live alone on a ranch, you need a man."

"I do need a man. A real man and not a hormone controlled sex maniac. I think I'll stay single for the rest of my life. I prefer not to have sex than having it with a guy like that."

"Sex is overrated."

"Depends on the sex. My experience shows me, men who are like him aren't worth the trouble. They make sure they're fine and finish first, roll on their side and fall asleep…do I sound frustrated?"

"A bit." Sara giggled.

"I am. Men. You think women are easier?"

"Thinking of changing the team?"

"Can it be worse?"

"You should never ask this question you might find out the answer it might not be the one you wanted."

"So no switch to women?"

"You can give it a try if you want. Do you think they're that different?"

"I don't know. Want to try with me?"

"No!" Sara laughed. "But thanks for the offer."

"So men want nothing else than sex with me and women don't want to have sex with me. Maybe there's a curse on me."

"It's curse that is on every woman over thirty who isn't married."

"You married after you were thirty."

"Yeah." Sara's face said it all. What did she get? Not the marriage every woman dreamed of. It was more the opposite.

"Okay, your point." Sofia sighed. Maybe some people weren't made for relationships. Or she was too picky. But please, how cheap was it to tell a woman on the first date, they could get a room for the afternoon?

"He's an idiot. He had the chance to get you and messed it up." Sara took Sofia in her arms. "He's not worth being with you. There'll be somebody else, somebody better, maybe even perfect."

"I doubt there's a Mister Perfect."

"Half perfect?"

"Not around here. Do you think I should look online for a man?"

"Are you that desperate?"

"A lot of people find their partners online."

"And then he lives in…Tokyo and you'll have a broken heart."

"You're not reassuring me, Sara."

"Sorry."

"Can you order men? Like some men order women. Is there an online catalog with good looking men?"

"Now you've lost your standards."

"I have?"

"Yes."

"Shit."

"And your manners."

"You live freely if you haven't a reputation to lose."

"Don't let your children hear that."

"I tell you as my friend and trust you that you won't tell them."

"I won't." Sara pulled Sofia in her arms. "You know it sounds good when you call me your friend."

"I see you as my friend, Sara." Sofia looked into Sara's eyes.

"I do the same with you."

"Good. So my friend, what will we do now? After the rookie is in bed, the baby too and only the older kids are awake? What is left for us?"

"Us. All we have left is us."

"Us…and a bottle of twenty years old scotch." A smile appeared on Sofia's face. What a great idea, her old bottle she had taken with her from Las Vegas. For very bad times or a very good reason to celebrate. Well, the time wasn't the best and there was a reason for celebration too: Sara's friendship. Two good reasons to drink this bottle.

"Sofia, you can't drown your problems." Sara tried to sound firm. She wanted to tease the blonde, at the same time she knew, her words were so true because she had tried it. She had tried to drown her problems, what gave her even more problems.

"I know I don't want to do that. I want to celebrate our friendship. Come on friend, I'll take you up to my room and have a drink with you."

"When the guy wanted to take you up to a room you said no."

"I'm not a guy and I don't have in mind what he had in mind. 1990 scotch whiskey. Bottle still sealed…"

"It will be perfect."

"Yes."

"We'll have a hangover tomorrow?"

"Who cares? We're old enough to have one."

"That's right." Sara got up and pulled Sofia on her feet. It had been a long time that she had scotch. Maybe it wasn't too bad to have a drink or two. There was nothing wrong to drink on a Saturday night with a friend.

* * *

"Oh fuck, my head." Sofia whined. What was it with the hangover? She could handle a hangover but this felt like the mother of all hangover. Did she and Sara really drink the whole bottle of scotch? A big one.

"Don't talk so loud." Sara's voice sounded like she felt the same like Sofia.

"Who tuned on the light?" Sofia demanded to know.

"You forgot to close the curtain, it's the sun."

"Why me? Why didn't you close it?"

"Your room."

"And? You don't mind to be in my bed."

"I can't remember that I fell asleep here. We were very drunk."

"We are still drunk, Sara."

"True. Can you remember anything?"

"I can remember the first three glasses, I can remember we ate a whole bowl of potato chips and I can remember we didn't have sex."

"That's odd."

"Odd? What do you mean with odd?"

"You can remember drinks, food and sex, everything else is gone?"

"Yes, I can always remember the basics."

"Did you make me drunk to have sex with me?"

"You said no when I asked you yesterday evening. Making you drunk to change your mind is cheap, men do that. I accept a 'no' especially when I'm with you with this decision. We're glad to be friends and not lover."

"Then stop flirting, detective."

"I can't, it's a hobby and since I'm not in Las Vegas anymore I've barely the change to enjoy this hobby."

"You've enough guests."

"Yes, guests. Can't go after them, that wouldn't be good for the business." Sofia groaned. Her poor head. A bang let her suffer even more.

"Mom, did you sleep…" Jon stopped.

"Mhm." Maybe the bang was a knock but a loud one. Her poor head. She would think that a few times today, that was clear.

"Sorry I didn't want to interrupt something."

"Don't be silly." Sofia tried to open her eyes. Okay, her head laid on Sara's belly and Sara's hands were playing with Sofia's hair but that nothing more than coming back to life slowly. They had to test their bodies, if everything worked again. Still.

"Now I know why Sara isn't outside."

"Be a good son and don't yell."

"Mom, I didn't…are you drunk?"

"Drunk? I don't know…Sara? You're the CSI."

"I'm not sure if we're drunk, I doubt we're allowed to drive with this hangover and we have enough alcohol in our blood left to be not able to drive. One big bottle of scotch, I haven't been that crazy since…a long time. Jon, can you switch off the sun?"

"It would be the light, Sara and the light isn't switched on."

"No, no, she talks about the light from the outside that burns in our eyes."

"You want me to close the curtain so you can stay in bed and suffer less?"

"Yes." That was a good idea. "You always tell me I need a private life and some fun, I'm sure the next time you'll think of that again. That's how your mother looks when she had a private life and fun. It was fun the drink all this scotch, I totally forgot how I'll feel today."

"Same here."

"Okay I tell Cat you won't come down. We'll leave in a couple of minutes. She wants to do the trip with her friend alone, says she doesn't need me."

"What do you think?"

"They make the tour to the campground and I agree, they do to the lake I disagree."

"Tell her to take the campground and stay here. I'm afraid I'm not a help today. I might need some blocker. Sara?"

"I want a new head."

"Now that would be a shame, you've such a nice and smart one on your shoulders."

"Thanks…I told you to stop flirting, detective."

"Sorry."

"I feel like I found two teenager drunk after a party." Jon walked through the room and closed the curtain.

"You're an angel." Sofia sighed when the room was darker. Finally her head didn't complain anymore about the bright light.

"You don't deserve that but I try to get you well soon you won't suffer too long. We need you downstairs. Both of you." He shook his head. "So old and still acting like high school girls. They didn't learn."

"I'll slap you later for the old."

"I'll tell your grandson you're ill." Jon grinned.

"Sometimes I hate this boy." Sofia grumbled.

"I was an angel two sentences ago. No, no need to discuss that. Stay in bed and suffer." Jon closed to door. He was only looking for his mother to tell her that Sara wasn't out although she was on duty for the horses and he couldn't find her in her room. And then he found Sara and his mother in bed. With a huge hangover and the room smelling like a pub.

"Where is mom?" Jamie had finished packing the food for the trip.

"In bed with Sara."

"You mean that like you said that or like I can understand it?"

"I don't want to think about that. I can tell you both have a hell of a hangover and suffer. Stupid me closed the curtains so they suffer less. I should turn on the music loud. They drank the old big bottle of scotch mom had. Are they teenagers?"

"No but I'm proud of our mom."

"Why? For drinking a like a…"

"Young woman who enjoys her life? Come on, she had this disappointment with the postman yesterday, she didn't have a party in ages and we know she loved to have a party when she lived in Vegas. She stopped having fun and parties when she came to here and she stopped it because of us. Mainly. Let her have some fun. Sara will leave in a week, she is mom's only friend she can see daily. Damn it, Sara is the only friend mom sees. You know like I do that mom has no time for friends. Let her enjoy the last days with a friend and let them act like teenagers."

"You think it's good what they did?"

"Yes."

"Mom said I should send Cat to the campground and stay."

"I told her the same. Lets have mom and Sara a hangover day and we take car of the rest, we're old enough."

"We can only do the basics…"

"That's enough for a day."

"Yeah. I'll see Cat."

Jamie grinned. His brother had a problem with finding his mother drunk in bed. Jon became old-fashioned.

With a smile Jamie got some meat balls out of the fridge, put them in the microwave, crushed some oranges and a lemon, filled a bowl with pickled gherkins and put a bottle of orange juice with all these things on a tray.

He carried everything upstairs, knocked on the door to his mother's bedroom and entered it. The room was almost dark, but there was enough light for him to see.

"Good morning."

"Are you here to tell me off like your brother did?" The voice of his mother was husky, like she suffered from a cold.

"No I bring you something to eat and drink."

"No more scotch."

"Fresh crushed orange juice with lemon juice. I think you need some vitamins and fluids anyway. Salty food and more orange juice, when you finished that you'll feel better."

"That's it? No talk about how stupid we were?"

"No I leave that to my older brother. I think you deserve to have some fun."

"It's not fun anymore, it's pain."

"Sara, don't whine. You got drunk you knew what will happen now be a woman, get over it and don't do it again; the next few weeks. I'll give you a new bottle for Christmas and you can repeat the last night."

"We might stop before we finish the bottle the next time."

"That would be wise." Jamie cocked his head. "Mom, you use Sara as a pillow."

"Yeah I need my head to be high. And I'm trying to get up since half an hour to use the bathroom, I can't move."

"Oh come on." He grabbed her und lifted her up. Sofia got her arms around his neck.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I try not to fall." Unsteady Sofia walked to her bathroom. Jamie watched her until she was vanished in the room.

"How do you feel?" He asked Sara.

"Crushed."

"There are blockers in your fresh juice you'll feel better after that."

"Thanks."

"I assume you had fun."

"Oh yes. We looked at old photos and talked about funny things in Vegas, it was a great night. Only the headache today isn't that perfect."

"Worth it?"

"Absolutely."

"Then it's alright to suffer a bit. And you were too drunk to go into your own bed?"

"I fell asleep at one point and woke up here, unable to walk."

"You shocked Jon."

"He is a little bit pissed off."

"He'll be fine a couple of minutes. He isn't used to find mom like that."

"Drunk?"

"Drunk and with a sexy brunette in bed."

"Nothing happened."

"I know that, you know that, he knows that too but is too pissed off to realize. Give him some time, you know how kids are."

"No I don't and he isn't a kid anymore."

"He's a man, a part of him will always be a kid." Jamie blinked at her and petted her shoulder. "Drink your juice, sleep a little bit, drink more and if you need anything let me know. I'll keep you drinking, that's what your body needs now."

"I know. A lot of water and blocker."

"It was fun, that's all what count."

"Yeah." Sara smiled a bit. She had a lot of fun with Sofia last night. She couldn't remember the last time she got so drunk, laughed so much and talked so much about the past without feeling sad or uncomfortable. It had been a great night.


	33. Chapter 33

**6th week of woofing**

Her last weekend with Sara. Sofia buried her head under her pillow. If she stayed in bed would this weekend just don't happen? Could she ignore the weekend? Ignore that Sara had to leave?

She could try to ignore the problem but if she stayed in bed she couldn't have this last overnight trip with Sara and she wanted to have one last long ride with her friend. They would go back to the lake, the weather was perfect for that and they looked forward to do so. Jamie had prepared some special food like he said and Cat had three friends over who would make sure the ranch was alright. Sofia had no idea what to do without the kids.

Tying her hair to a loose ponytail she walked down in the living room.

"You look tired." Cat was sitting on the bench.

"I slept enough I just don't want this weekend to start."

Cat slipped down the bench and hugged her mother. "I'll miss Sara too. She'll be back, there won't be four years until you see her again."

"The problem is, I didn't miss her in these four years. Frankly I didn't care. Now I know her better, she's a friend and I'll miss her…and soon I'll miss you too."

"Mom, there's some time left until I'll go to college."

"It will be too soon."

"Mom don't turn into a nightmare."

"I'm not a nightmare when I miss my daughter."

"If you start to whine two years before I go you are a nightmare."

"How about to tell me you'll miss me too?"

"Right now you're acting like somebody I won't miss."

Sofia held her chest. "Did you hear that? You broke my heart!"

"Mom! You're not Jewish, that's me."

"A broken heart has nothing to do with religious." Sofia pouted.

"Come on, be a good mother, drink your coffee, eat your bagel and get ready for your ride or Sara will leave without you. She had breakfast an hour ago and is already out, talking to Fortuna and Lucky."

"Why are you awake that long?"

"I can learn much better early in the mornings and I started a sunrise painting, I need the morning light."

"You are amazing."

"I've got that from my mom." Cat kissed Sofia's hair and left her.

"I love my family." Sofia sighed. She was lucky to have such a great family. How many mothers worried about their children, that they might take drugs, steal, harm somebody or didn't go to school. She never worried about that, her children never complained about school, not more than Sofia did about her job. Beside their beer every now and then they had nothing to do with legal or illegal drugs.

Okay Jon had trouble because of his petty thefts. He did that because he was hungry, needed something to eat. Sofia had never seen the law in black and white, there was a lot of gray and she always thought every case had to be handled separately.

She cleaned the table, took her bagel and walked outside. Her guests had their riding lessons and were busy with the teacher. Soon Sofia had her test to become a teacher. Then they saved the money on that. On the other hand it meant Sofia had even more to do and less time for other things.

Kirundi came to her as soon as Sofia entered the meadow.

"Hi Sweetie, how are you? Are you ready for our ride? We'll go up to the lake. Our last long ride with Sara and Caza."

"I told Caza this is the last time she had to put up with me." Sara came with Fortuna to Sofia. Lucky was jumping around a few yards away, he tried to make Churchill play with him. The dog wasn't impressed by that and ignored the foal.

"She'll miss you."

"Maybe. I put a saddle on Fortuna today."

"And?"

"She was alright. I didn't tie it, I only left it on her back, loose for a moment." Sara had prepared Fortuna for that the whole week with blankets as weight.

"She'll be fine, she has a good character, I don't think there'll be any problems to break her in."

"I feel guilty."

"Why?"

"She gave birth to her child two weeks ago, she is in maternity protection. You didn't work two weeks after your labor."

"I did. As soon as I was back here I started to work. First paper work, pretty soon all the other work. If you're a self-employed person there's nothing like maternity protection. The horses are always hungry, the guests are always there."

"Fortuna isn't self-employed."

"No, she's a fortunate horse with a lucky son and great owner."

"You."

"You bought her."

"Yeah, I changed the papers to you. Congratulation to your new horse."

"She is your horse."

"I can't take her with me, she'll be here, she's yours. So is Lucky."

"You know I won't do anything with them. They'll be here and wait for you to come back. You might have your first ride in the snow with her. She won't be a guest horse, she'll be like Kurindi a family horse."

"If Lucky turns out to be black you've the perfect horse for Kieran."

"I'm not sure if the rookie should start with a young mustang. A young stallion."

"Lucky cover your ears you won't like what I say now: I think he'll be a gelding by that time."

"You don't want to have a lot little Luckys?"

"I think there are enough horses we don't need to get more. If I think I need another horse I'll safe the life of a mustang at an auction."

"I'm proud of you, you are such a good student."

"You were a good teacher. Will you teach Fortuna to be a good horse? A good riding horse? One that will wait when I fall down."

"Yes. And we'll do the same with Lucky. In a few years."

"No need to hurry. Three years is usually the time to break them in, isn't it?"

"People argue about that. Racing horses have races with two years and earlier. I think you can start with having a saddle on the horse with three, the weight of the rider with three and a half, first little rides with four. She's around five, she's an adult. We start to break her in, train her and when you're here around Christmas you can have short rides with her. Not the day trips, that's too much. But the short ones."

"If it's better to wait…"

"No, five is alright, I just tell you that you need to start slow with her. But when you're back next summer you can take her to the lake."

"So I'll be here on Christmas and next summer?" Sara grinned. Sofia had planed her holidays without asking her.

"Yes. You've got two horses, they want to see you. There is no freedom left, you should have thought about that before you bought a mare in foal."

"They are yours."

"I didn't sign anything, they are still yours. I won't sign anything by the way, you'll keep your horses. You saved them, you stayed with them when Fortuna gave birth to Lucky, you named them, they are all yours, Sara. Start to accept it, you won't change it."

"Then I'll give you some money for…"

"If you won't shut up right now we'll have a serious fight, Sara Sidle! Understand me? Shut up and get your horse ready for the ride."

"We'll talk about that later."

"We won't talk at all about that, my friend." Sofia took Kirundi's halter and pulled the mare after her. She would not discuss with Sara, no matter what the brunette wanted to do.

* * *

"You lost!" Sara stopped Caza and waited for Sofia and Kirundi to arrive.

"You've a Quarter Horse…"

"It was more than a quarter of a mile. We won, we're better."

"I want revenge."

"Okay, you can have another waterloo."

"You're arrogant."

"I am a winner! My horse and me beat you and your horse."

"What happened to my old Sara? Who enjoyed walk."

"I still enjoy walk but when we have a race I need to gallop. Your own fault to teach me so good that I can gallop without a problem."

"Yeah shame on me. I won't do that again."

"Too late anyway. I won." Sara grinned wide. They were at the lake, had used the last half mile for a race and Caza had gotten so far ahead on the first half that Kirundi had no chance to get her.

"Want to stay here?" It was the same place they had camped the last time.

"Yeah." Sara jumped on the ground and got the saddle and the saddlebags down. Sofia did the same and jumped on Kirundi's back.

"Time to get them in the water. Get on your horse."

"I might be able to gallop but I still can't jump on a horse without a saddle." Sara looked around, found a stock of a tree, got Caza there and used it to get on the horse's back.

"Time for a swim, Caza." As she had understood every word Caza walked fast into the water. Sara lifted her feet. The water was colder than the last time. At least it felt like that.

"I can feel the fall coming. The water is cold."

"Nonsense, it's still August, there's no fall around…beside one fall…" Sofia had guided Kirundi close to Caza, bent over and pushed Sara from her horse. With a big splash the brunette fell in the water.


	34. Chapter 34

"You bitch!"

"I might be a bitch but you are wet."

"Wait until I get you, Sofia Curtis." Sara tried to walk over the Sofia, who let Kirundi walk deeper in the water until her horse was swimming. Without any hesitation she slipped down the back, held on to the mane and let Kirundi pull her through the water.

"You're cheating!" Sara complained.

"You've a horse yourself."

"Not anymore." Caza had taken off and was too far away from Sara to get her.

"Poor Sara."

"You're not a brave detective, you're a coward. A cowardly officer!"

"Careful what you say, investigator. You might get another bath or a cold shower as a wake up call in the morning."

"You are the one who sleeps long. You'll feel my revenge."

"Bla, bla, bla." Sofia let go of Kirundi and swam herself. The water was cold but nice. She changed to backstroke and stopped after a few yards to lie still on the water and enjoy the sunshine on her face. That was like holidays. Almost as good as a beach. Okay, the water wasn't that warm, there weren't waves but there were also no tourists and children yelling around. This was a big lake and private. Most people didn't bother to walk here, only the ones on a three or five day trip passed the lake.

Suddenly she was pulled under water. Helpless, her arms in the air and legs too, she felt how she got under the surface. By doing so she swallowed a lot of water. It took her a few seconds until she was back over the surface and could breathe again.

Sara was laughing. Sofia's face was red and she was coughing.

"I hate you!"

"Honey, why?"

"I was relaxed, I felt like being on holidays and you bitch destroyed it."

"You're right with one thing: payback is a bitch."

"Somehow I'm not that sad anymore that you leave soon."

"Liar."

"Prove it."

"All I need I a look in your eyes. They turn from ice blue to sad blue when you say that I leave soon."

"Which is also very mean by the way."

"If your cousin says I can't work yet I'll be on sick leave again."

"Let me think if he owes me a favor…not that big, no."

"In that case I'll be back at work on Wednesday."

"We'll miss you Sara." They had gotten back to the shore. "We really will."

"I'll miss you guys too. And I can't wait to come back."

"What about France?"

"If Grissom wants to see me he has to come to America. I won't fly to France, waiting for him to have some time. He wants to spend time with me, he has to come here. Us, being realists, we know he won't do that."

"Means?"

"Means I'll make some phone calls and decision within the next weeks. I think I can talk to him better when I'm back in Vegas. The work hours are better, I'll be awake at five in the morning which is a time he might come back from work."

"I hope he realizes what he'll lose if he won't make the right decision."

"I hope so too."

"You can bring him here. Does he ride?"

"Not that I know of that."

"We'll have a lot of fun watching him learn it. He can have Caza and we made her gallop. A little payback for being that nasty to you the last time on the phone."

"You're unforgiving."

"Yes."

"In that case I'll prepare the dinner to make up for getting you under the water."

"I got you in the water, we're even."

"Sounds good to me." Sara smiled.

"I'll prepare the sleeping bags and take care of our animals." She caught Caza and Kirundi, tied them on a long rope to a tree so they had enough space to walk around and graze. Churchill was already sitting next to Sara, he came straight to Sofia when she got the dog food out of her bag. As usual, Churchill's place was next to their sleeping bags.

Both bags connected with each other, their jumpers rolled up as pillows Sofia was happy with their night lodging. It looked like they could see stars later and a great sunset soon. Their last sunset in the mountains together.

"Will you get used to work at nights again?"

"I think so. I had no problems when I came back from France."

"Greg will be happy to have you back."

"Yeah he promised to come over right away, get all my stuff for me in the apartment and take me out for dinner or get us some food if I don't feel like going out."

"He's cute."

"He is. I wonder when a girl will get him."

"You can wrap him in paper and send him here I might take him. At least I know I'll get somebody cute and honest."

"Sounds more like you get a puppy."

"He's allowed to sleep in a bed."

"In a bed or in your bed?"

"Depends."

"I'll tell him a hot blonde is waiting for him, he'll like that."

"I doubt he'll leave his sexy brunette."

"Without Greg I won't stay in Vegas I'll come with him."

"Perfect. Send him over right away. I'll await you on Friday. Let's say Saturday so you've the chance to have a break on your drive up here."

"You really want to make me stay, don't you?"

"Yes. So do the kids. You'll break Kieran's heart when he realized you'll be gone."

"I'll miss him too."

"He was so proud when you picked him up and went shopping with him. He sees his perfect mom in you, Sara. It will be like losing his mom again."

"Don't make it harder than it is, Sofia." Sara said sadly. She knew she would hurt Kieran when she left but it wasn't like she had any choice. She had to go back to Vegas, she had stayed longer than she wanted here, she had spent as much time as possible here. Now she was at a point where she had no other choice than going back.

"Sorry. I know you suffer too. I just breaks my heart to see him sad."

"Mine too. I wish I could do anything to save him from that pain. Jon will take care of him, will explain everything to him."

"Talking about my oldest son…what is wrong between the two of you?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, don't bullshit me. Something is wrong. Since that that night Lucky was born. I assume it has nothing to do with Lucky."

"No."

"So what is it?"

"Don't make me say things you don't like."

"You can tell me or I'll ask Jon and I won't stop until he tells me. I always get him talk, I'm a detective I know how to make people talk. It's your chance to tell me your side of the story before tells me his."

"You won't like it."

"Leave that to me."

"Some things a mother shouldn't know."

"Bullshit." Okay Sofia had thought the same when she was young and her mother had disagreed like she did now. Being a mother she had to support her mother's point of view now and not her own old one.

"It's not like we would fight."

"No you don't fight. But you're not the same around him and he isn't the same around you anymore. I am a mother I want to know why."

"Nothing you can change."

"Can you change it? To get it back to how it was before?"

"Yes if you give us some time."

"You'll be gone in two days."

"That will help us."

"It sounds like a fight. Lucky is alright, so is Fortuna. I doubt he messed something up with them that night, he's too experienced…"

"He did a great job, he calmed me down, he had all the things ready he needed to make sure Fortuna and Lucky are fine, he was amazing."

"But?"

"Please don't let us go there, Sofia."

"Sara, I promise whatever it is I won't be mad. I just want to know what happened that you and Jon have this…weird relationship."

"We need some distance, that's all."

"Why would you need some distance from Jon? Or he from you?"

Sara sighed and closed her eyes. She didn't want to go there, she didn't want to talk about it. She wanted Sofia to forget that topic.

"Sara." Sofia put her hand on Sara's arm. She wanted to know what was wrong between Sara and Jon. She had tried to get any information from her son, he had blocked like Sara did and Sofia made the decision she wanted to try to get anything from the brunette first before she tried it a little bit harder with her son. She would get her answer somehow, no question about that.

"When Jon said after the birth that Lucky was alright, healthy and everything was alright I was happy."

"Of course you were." Sofia saw no problem and nothing special in that. She knew how anxious Sara had been because of the foal. Her relief was natural.

"He had stayed with me the whole time to make sure everything is alright and I don't panic too much."

"Yes I asked him to do so but he had done that anyway." Again nothing special, nothing to worry. Nothing that explained the weird vibration between her son and her friend.

"I was very happy when everything was alright."

"We had that already, Sara."

"Too happy."

"How can you be too happy?"

There was no way out and no way around it. Sara knew Sofia had her right she wanted the investigator to be. Trapped. The only way out was to tell her what she wanted to hear. Or thought she wanted to hear.

"I kissed Jon."

"You kissed him before."

"Not on his cheek. I mean I planed to kiss him there but…I kissed him on his lips."

"Things like that happen when the other persons turns his head and you didn't anticipate that."

"He kissed me back. It was only for a second but it was wrong. And we both knew it."

"Reflex?"

"I don't know…I hope."

"You kissed my son?"

"Unintended."

"He kissed you back."

"Reflex."

"And that's why you both act so strange?"

"Yes."

"Sara, there's no reason to act like you two do when it was unintended and a reflex." Sofia wasn't sure if she wanted Sara to agree or to disagree. Fact was, they acted strange and for Sofia it was a sign it wasn't an unintended kiss or not a reflex. Or it wasn't either of it. That case she tried to keep out of her head.

"I know but it's strange. I didn't want that but it happened."

"You think it will happen again?"

"No!"

Some parts deep inside Sofia were happy and relieved when Sara said so strict 'no'. That must be the mother inside her.

"Jon feels uneasy too so I doubt he wants to repeat that. You two could talk about it."

"I think we will…maybe. I'll be in Vegas and we'll have some distance. I think we'll forget that and go back to old behavior in a week or two."

"I hope so. He'll miss you anyway."

"I'll miss him too. What keeps me up a bit is that Jamie will come to Vegas soon. He said he has to go to his college for a first week to get all information, meet the professors and teachers. He booked my couch already I hope your mom is fine with that."

"As long as he visits her she'll be alright. Are you alright with that?"

"Stupid question. I'll try to have my kitchen prepared for him."

"Don't take him to the Strip."

"He wants to see it."

"From the outside."

"We'll go in one or two restaurants. Maybe a show. No clubs."

"He isn't into clubbing."

"Shall I show him your old work place?"

"I don't think he'll like the police department. Too many people."

"Yeah, not the right place for him."

"He wants to stay two days longer than his courses are running I'll take him to the Grand Canyon."

"He'll love that."

"I hope so."

"You take care of my baby and I'll take of your babies."

"Deal." Sara smiled. It would be so strange to be back in Vegas. The loud and busy city after these weeks of a quiet ranch with almost no more than a dozen people. She hoped she could still enjoy Sin City.


	35. Chapter 35

Time to say goodbye. Sara hated goodbyes and usually she avoided them. This time she had no chance to do so. She was the one who was about to leave, it could be easy to vanish without a word, simply sneak out and leave two hours earlier. She did that before. Telling somebody she wants to leave at eight and at six she was on the road, running away from the goodbyes and the people. It was too painful to leave people she liked.

Sitting on the bench, watching Fortuna and Lucky on the left side and Caza on the right side, she was in between her three horses. Fortuna who had made her to a horse owner, Lucky who gave her the honor of watching his birth, which was one of the most impressive and amazing moments of her life. Seeing how a life reached the world, seeing the new beginning of a new life was the opposite of what her usually workday life was. A new life entered the world and not a life left the world because somebody had ended it. And Caza. Her patient horse, who had given her so many hours of joy and happiness. Thanks to Caza Sara had learnt a new skill, had explored a new side of her own life, had felt again was freedom was. She couldn't thank the Quarter Horse enough for all these hours.

"Hey you are still here." Sofia came up behind Sara and stepped next to her.

"I said I'll leave at eight, it's half past seven."

"It wouldn't have surprised me if you had left us already to escape all the goodbyes."

Sara smiled a bit. "You know me too well, Sofia."

"Not well enough, you're still here."

"You know I usually leave early, avoid goodbyes. I hate them, really do. They make me sad, they make a great thing end sad and take away a piece of the great memory. Goodbyes suck." Sara grinned. "But you knew I would stay, a part of you knew. Otherwise you had made sure that somebody was with me so that I can't sneak away. You're a detective you know how to follow people and make sure they don't sneak away. You could have tried to observe me, make sure I'm here and not in my car and take off."

"Tried? If I wanted to do so I had done it. Not tried. I might have done it and you don't know it."

"I'm a investigator, I know when somebody observes me."

"You think you know. I might be too good."

"You're smug."

"I'm right."

"Whatever." Sofia grinned. She had thought of making sure Sara wouldn't sneak away but at the end she thought she had to trust her friend. If Sara really wanted to avoid all the goodbyes there was no way Sofia could make her stay.

"How many miles will you do today?"

"At least five hundred I'll try to make seven hundred. If I can arrange it I want to be back in Vegas tomorrow night. I won't have any bigger stops, only the break for the toilet, food, drinks and some runs."

"Flying is much faster."

"I know but I wanted to have my car with me. Without car you're caught here."

"You could have have mine."

"I didn't know you're here, remember?" Sara bopped Sofia. The blonde was her first surprise and she was definitely her best surprise. Sara might haven't seen it that way when she arrived at the end she had to admit, Sofia made this stay perfect.

"Next time. We'll get your from the airport."

"Depends on the weather. If there's not too much snow I'll take the car again. It's easier with the luggage and I feel free with it. More independent."

"The big Sara Sidle problem. Somebody could take away your freedom, tell you what to do and you've no chance to escape."

"I'm an adult, I'm a free person depending on people isn't my cup of tea."

"I know." Sofia laid her head on Sara's shoulder. "They'll miss you." She looked at the horses.

"I know. They seem to be sad this morning. Lucky didn't try to play with me, he only rubbed his head carefully and looked somehow sad."

"They feel you're sad so they know something bad will happen or did happen."

"I wish I could take them with me. But they won't be happy in Vegas. They are at the best place for them."

"We'll make sure they'll have everything they need."

"I know." Sara got her arm around Sofia. "Don't forget to mail me some photos of them. I want to see how Lucky grows."

"I'll send you a weekly update, tell you how tall he is already and how Fortuna is becoming a riding horse."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Will you call every now and then?"

"Yes." Sara laughed. Did Sofia really think Sara would leave and not call or write? She wasn't the best in keeping friendships alive but she wasn't that bad.

"Just want to make sure so you can't say at the end you never said you would do so."

"Give me a little bit more credit."

"I will – as soon as you have called and written."

"You don't trust me."

"I'm a detective I can't trust somebody who had proved a few times she isn't that reliable. You're not that good with calling…or showing up on time."

"Don't start again, it was one case I didn't get your message immediately. One little case, the rest of the time I was on time and didn't let you wait."

"You let me wait for hours, I think that was enough for the rest of your life."

"You are so unforgiving."

"Like you."

"That's why we get along quite good." Sara blinked.

"I'll come down to Vegas if you don't call and write and kick your ass."

"You're not suppose to say that." Kieran looked punitively at his grandmother.

"Sorry rookie, that was cop language you're only suppose to say to somebody who is working at the law enforcement. You're right, you can't say that to civilians. And you can't say it to people who have a higher rank than yourself."

"Don't listen to her, you say that to nobody." Sara took Kieran on her arm. "How are you, my baby?"

"Don't go." His eyes were sad.

"I've to go back to work, catch bad people." She pressed him in her arms and kissed his cheek. She didn't want to go, she didn't want to leave him.

"Can't you catch bad people here?"

"I'll come back to you."

"Don't leave." He wrapped his arms around her neck. Sara could feel his tears running down his chest, falling on her neck. She hated that she had to break his heart, that she had to leave him and make him cry. He didn't understand why she left, how could he? All he knew was that his mother left him and now Sara would leave him too. All women he was close to left him.

"She has to." Jon said to his son. "Say goodbye and give her your present."

"I don't need a present." Sara tried to refuse.

"He worked hard on it. Where is your present for Sara, Kieran?"

"Here." The boy snuffled and got a piece of paper out of his pocket. "You and Caza riding." He explained the picture that looked like a person on something that could be a horse. He was three, of course it looked like modern art, but he put all his heart in it and that was, what was important to Sara.

"Thank you Kieran, that's a beautiful picture and I promise I'll put it on my wall." Sara kissed his cheek. "Goodbye big boy, I'll miss you and I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her not trying to hide his tears anymore.

"See you and drive carefully." Jon hugged Sara and pressed a lasso in her hands. "I thought you might want to keep practicing and catch some bad guys the old fashioned way."

"I'll consider that." She smiled. "Thanks."

"Picture too." Patrick showed his picture to Sara.

"Oh that's a nice picture too."

"You, Tuna, Lucky." Fortuna was for him only Tuna.

"Thank you Pat, I'll put it next to Kieran's picture. Do I get a kiss?"

"Yes." He kissed her. "Miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Pat. Take care of your mom, will you?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"I'll get the boys inside otherwise you'll have at least one of them in your trunk." Jon said with a smile and took Patrick and Kieran on his arms. "Wave to Sara."

"Bye Sara." Patrick waved.

"Bye." Kieran was still crying.

"Goodbye boys." Sara had to fight with tears herself. She missed the boys already.

"No need to be strong." Cat hugged her. Sara had no idea where they all had been that they appeared out of the blue. Had they been watching her?

"I try to."

"We'll miss you, Sara. I hope you really come back."

"I'll do, I promise."

"Good. I want to hear more stories about mom and I need your help, you know when she's acting strange again because of Dan."

"She's your mother, she'll always act like that. It's her job."

"Horrible. I've got a picture for you too. Seems like it's a picture day." Cat hold up a framed picture.

"Wow!" Sara was impressed. Fortuna and Lucky on the meadow behind the barn in the sunrise. In the back were the other horses, Sara could see Caza and Kirundi.

"I took a photo of them when Lucky had his first day out. It was impossible to drew something with them, they never stood still."

"It's brilliant, Cat. You can sell that for a lot of money. It's looks like a profession had made it."

"Keep it in case I'll be famous one day and you want to sell it."

"I won't sell that, no matter how much money they'll offer. That's better than the photos I took of them. I must have taken you a long time."

"A couple of hours – every day. I wanted it to be perfect."

"It surely is perfect. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. Take care and if you see a cute guy…give him my number…I mean…in case Dan forgets me."

"I got you." Sara laughed.

"I should be mad with you." Jamie said.

"Why?"

"You leave me." He pulled Sara in his arms. "Don't leave me with them. They don't understand me, they're crazy."

"You'll be alright." Sara smirked. "And you'll visit me pretty soon."

"Yeah we'll conquer the Strip. Have a look for some good spots."

"I will. There are some really good restaurants."

"Get their menu I want to see what they offer before I make a decision."

"Okay I can try that."

"And until that time I've some special cookies for you." He gave her a little bag.

"Special cookies?"

"Yes. You can't eat them until you're in Vegas, they are 'Wyoming homesick cookies', a very special kind of cookie."

"Am I allowed to know what's inside`"

"If I tell you I've to kill you."

"In that case I'll eat them without knowing that is inside."

"That's the spirit." He grinned.

"I guess that leaves me to say goodbye to you." Sofia said with a smile.

"Your kids and the rookie said goodbye, I guess it's your time."

"Okay. Bye Sara." Sofia turned and wanted to go away.

"Hey." Sara grabbed the shoulder of the blonde and pulled her back. "You won't go anywhere without a hug."

"You're the one who is about to leave. If I don't hug you…"

"…I won't stay, Sofia." Sara fulfilled Sofia's sentence.

"Not?"

"No." Sara pulled Sofia in her arms. "I'll miss you, Sofia."

"Ditto. I know it makes no sense to ask you to stay, you have to go back but let me tell you, if you ever don't want to live in Las Vegas anymore you're more than welcome to come to us. We'll all happy to see you and have you around."

"I'll consider it if I get tired of Vegas and the CSI."

"Good. And if I can arrange it I'll take the family down for a holiday. At least a big part, all of us won't be possible. Not until we've found somebody reliable to look after the farm. Can't let an idiot take care of your horses."

"You better don't."

"I'd never thought I'd miss you, Sara."

"Thanks."

"Don't pretend that you had thought you'd miss me."

"I never said I'll miss you. I'll miss the kids."

"Not me?"

"No."

"Not at all?"

"Not at all."

"Okay."

Sara pulled Sofia closer and kissed her earlobe. "Thanks for these two amazing months, Sofia." She whispered. "I can't imagine any better summer holidays than these two months. I'm happy I found you here."

"So am I. You can be a really lovely woman, Sara Sidle, if you want. You're not such a big bitch I thought you are."

"That was almost a compliment, detective. Be careful."

"Sorry investigator. I enjoyed our time and I hope there'll be a few more summers with you. Maybe you can arrange to work half the time and double your holidays."

"Sounds like a dream of most people."

"Yes."

"We'll keep Christmas for a plan. I'll try to get my days off and will be with you."

"And I'll send you the promised photos of your horses."

"Thanks."

"Take this so that you won't forget here's some work waiting for you." Sofia pinned a sheriff star on Sara's shirt.

"You're the sheriff."

"Yeah but I need a good deputy. You know, there's only the rookie and me, we need a good deputy."

"Thanks."

"You can put it on your bear tooth hat."

"I'll keep it on my shirt. The rookie can have his star on the hat. He likes the hat, you have it on your pants so that it sways sexy when you walk around and I have it on my shirt. Different styles for different people."

"Alright." Sofia kissed Sara's cheek. "Make sure you arrive safe in Vegas and I want you to call. Tonight when you're in your B&B and tomorrow when you're back. No matter what time. I want a report, deputy."

"Yes, ma'am." Sara laughed. "I'll call you."

"Good. I help you with all your presents."

"You weren't suppose to give me anything."

"Sara, you're leaving, you give presents to people who leave."

"So they will come back?"

"You give nice presents to people you want to come back and awful ones for people you don't want to see again."

"I got great stuff I must be welcome."

"You are." Sofia opened Sara's passenger's door and put the framed picture on the seat.

"Take care of the family, Sofia."

"I will."

"And if you don't find a decent guy in Alice Town stop searching. I think there's no need to look for a smart man. A smart man will find you himself. Only idiots need to be find."

"I'll remember that." Sofia laughed and hugged Sara again. "Have a safe trip."

"I will. Bye detective."

"Bye investigator." Sofia watched Sara getting in the car and waved when the brunette started to car and left the ranch.

There she left. Had it been really two months? It felt less than that. Two weeks as a guest, six weeks as a woofer. Sofia smiled a bit. Who would have thought she and Sara would get along that good? That Sara open up so much. She developed not only a great relationship to Sofia but also to Sofia's kids. It was hard for them to let her go too.

The life on the ranch had changed when Sara arrived and it would change again now that she left.

* * *

With closed eyes Sara fell on her bed. Two months without her bed. It felt better than ever. Not because her bed in Wyoming had been bad but after these two days on the road she was happy to have her bed. And she wouldn't leave it anymore. It was almost midnight, she had called Greg a few hours ago to tell him she'd arrive when he was working. He would come along the next afternoon.

Her plan had been to stay awake to get back in the nightshift rhythm but she was too tired. Complaining about her sore muscles she had a hot shower and got back to bed.

"Done." She mumbled. She was done with the day and the trip. It was time to relax. With one hand she got her cell phone out.

"You're finally home." Sofia's voice sounded as tired as Sara felt.

"Yes."

"Was the trip alright?"

"Yeah, I managed to get through fast and without any problems. How is the ranch?"

"We're all missing you."

"Probably you had a barbeque to celebrate that I'm gone."

"How did you find out?" Sofia laughed. "We had so much wine and champagne."

"Thought so."

"We miss you Sara. Kieran asks a few times a day when you'll be back and he cried a lot. The poor boy misses you a lot."

"I miss him too." Sara sighed sadly. She wished she had another opportunity. She hated to hurt the boy.

"We got him a photo of the two of you and he pinned it over his bed."

"Don't tell me things like that I'll come back right away if you tell me things like that."

"That's exactly what we want."

"Christmas."

"That's a long time."

"I know."

"We'll be strong and we'll rearrange your room."

"How?"

"Can't tell you, it will be a surprise."

"Alright."

"I'll let you sleep now. Enjoy your first night in your own bed and try not to go to work tomorrow night, you've one more night off."

"I need that night to clean my apartment, do my laundry and get organized. There's a lot of work waiting here for me."

"Paperwork."

"Yes."

"Sorry to hear that. Sleep tight, deputy."

"You too, sheriff. Give the kids a kiss."

"Will do. Don't forget to call us sometimes."

"I won't. Night." Sara switched of her cell phone.

Back in Vegas. Back in her old life. And she knew she had to change some things of her old life so that they could fit her new life. She needed to talk to some people, needed to change some of her old behavior and find out how she could involve the last two month in her life in Vegas.


	36. Chapter 36

**End of September**

Headache. Such a headache. Did she hit her head? Did she fall? Sara tried to open her eyes but it was so difficult. She tried to listen to her surroundings. Where was she? It didn't sound like home. She heard voices, she heard… things…Where was she?

"I think she wakes up."

She knew that voice. She heard it before. Where? When? And why were there people in her bedroom? Or why wasn't she in her bedroom? What did she do here? Where was here? How did she get here? Why was she here?

"Sara?"

Yes that was her name. She wanted to answer but…damn her throat was dry. She needed something to drink. Why did nobody give her a glass of water? In which awful place did she end up when where nobody cared if she was thirsty or not.

"Sara can you hear me?"

"Yeah." Oh dear her voice sounded awful. She opened her eyes. Everything was white. Had somebody redecorated her apartment? She didn't like it, she wanted her old colors back. This looked like a…like a hospital!

"Fuck."

"Swearing. A good sign." Somebody got a straw in Sara's mouth and she sucked cold water. What a great feeling. Water had never tasted to good like right now. Slowly the blurry world became clearer. Yes she was definitely in a hospital, the question was, what did she do here? She had no time to be here, she had a case to close and…the case! She remembered she was working a double, was supposed to get to the court and…nothing. She had no idea what had happened then. Did anybody shoot her? Hit her head?

"What am I doing here?" She knew the doctor, it was Sofia's cousin. Sara didn't plan to see this man any time soon again.

"Prove me wrong."

"Why?" She couldn't remember she had to prove anything to him. Why and how was she proving him wrong?

"I thought you're a smart woman."

"I am." She had a degree that proved that.

"Apparently not. A quarter of a year ago I had you here, exhausted, two break downs and I sent you away to get your energy back, to learn to treat you and your body more respectful and after one month back on the job you're here again. Not very smart, Sara."

"Tell the bad guys to stop being that busy and I'll be less busy. Talking about being busy, I need to go back to the lap, I've a case to work."

"Your case is closed?"

"What? Don't lie. I was in the middle of the investigation. Having a little sleep for an hour or so doesn't close a case."

"Do you know what date it is today, Sara?"

"Twenty-sixth of September. Tuesday. I've a court appointment at five, can I go?"

"I'm afraid you'll be late."

"What? Damn. I need to call the judge and say I'm sorry I…whatever and ask to reschedule the trial. Tomorrow."

"The twenty-seventh?"

"Yes." What a stupid question. Today was the twenty-sixth, so tomorrow was the twenty-seventh. Was the doctor kidding her? Or was that a test to see if she was fit enough to leave? She was fit. She needed another glass of water and…why were there infusions in her arm? Who ordered them?

"You'll be late for that appointment too."

"I won't. I won't stay here. Get these things out of me or I'll do it."

"Sara, today is the thirtieth of September."

"Absolute nonsense."

"I'm afraid it's not."

"I might had a little accident, not that I remember that but it is the twenty-sixth. It was when I got in my car…" Did she ever reach her car? She couldn't remember getting in her car and drive to the court.

"Did I hit my head?"

"Do you have a headache?"

"Will you first answer my question?"

"Sara…"

"Did I hit my head?"

"Yes."

"I have a headache, yes."

"You have a concussion."

"Great. Exactly what I needed. So you want me to stay a night?"

"Sara, it is the thirtieth of September, you stayed already four nights. You were unconscious and slept the whole time. Well, you woke up a few times for a short while but most times you slept. You had another break-down."

"Are they like a broken ankle? Once you had problems with that you'll get it for the rest of your life? That's annoying."

"You get that when you don't take care of yourself."

"Like the ankle. Okay, give me something for the head, get the infusions out of my arm and I'm out of here. Four nights. I'm more than overdue."

"You're awake for the first time in four days, really awake. Do you really think I let you go? You'll stay here bit longer."

"Great." Now she had not only to fight her headache but the doctor as well. Wasn't he suppose to be here to support her? To help her? All the things he suggested and said made that she felt worse and not better.

"And before you start to make plans how to escape there's somebody waiting for you outside. If you feel strong enough for some guests…"

"I want to go home telling you I'm too tired for guests wouldn't be smart."

"Make yourself comfortable for another two nights."

"Two? One."

"Two if you do alright. Three if you argue."

"I thought arguing is a sign of being well again." Sara smiled.

"It is. Unfortunately I don't give annoying people what they want. Like with children: they make some trouble in the supermarket because they want sweets, they won't get anything. Are the nice and listen to what I say, they get their sweets. Works perfect like that for ten years."

"Great." Sara grumbled. Her doctor treated her like a child. Didn't she have a right to leave when she wanted to leave? Four nights. That was crazy. Four nights, almost a hundred hours, that was eternity.

Wait a moment. Four nights, that was a lot of time, that was enough to time to fly to Las Vegas, even from France. Could it be that Grissom came this time to her? After their not very happy and positive conversations of the last weeks. He was still her husband, the doctor had called him, she was sure about that. Did he forget his work, jumped in the next plane to Las Vegas to be with her?

"Didn't I tell you to take care of you?"

This voice didn't belong to Grissom, neither did these long blonde hair and the ice blue eyes. Not her husband was waiting for her, her friend. How could Sara possible think for a second Grissom would come over? Her head must have gotten a very heavy blow. Grissom leaving his job for her, flying to Vegas to be with her. Maybe she needed to stay a few more days, she was obviously not fine.

"What are you doing here?" What was Sofia doing here? She had a lot of work at home, she couldn't leave the ranch to sit around here only because Sara hit her head and was a little bit exhausted. There were horses waiting for the blonde, horses that depended on her.

"I'd love to kick your ass first. Stupid bitch." Sofia pulled Sara in her arms and hugged the brunette. "Can't you listen to me? Only once. I told you to take care, not too work too much and what are you doing? Working over sixteen hours a day, four weeks in a row, no day off, no wonder you are here now. How can a smart woman like you be so stupid?"

"And you know that I'm here and how much I worked because…?"

"I talked to your colleagues."

"They called you I'm in hospital?"

"Maybe."

"Your cousin did."

"I won't give you a name because you'll give this person trouble."

"Or a thank you. It's good to see you, Sofia." Sara snuggled in Sofia's arms. Of course the blonde was here. How could she thought for a moment Grissom had left his work to come to her? He didn't that before, why should he do that now?

"I thought you need somebody to visit you. I know they called Grissom…"

"I doubt he'll come."

"He didn't call back."

"Not that I know of…but I just woke up."

"He didn't call back, I know that."

"I'm not surprised."

"He's your husband."

"At the moment."

"What do you mean with 'at the moment'? He is your husband."

Sara lifted her left hand. The ring she wore there the whole summer was gone.

"You sent him his ring back?"

"Yes. I saw no reason to keep it after he doesn't treat me like you're suppose to treat your wife. I sent it back two weeks ago, I haven't heard anything from him. He might be too busy to open his mail or he doesn't care." No Grissom. No 'sorry I left you alone can you forgive' scene for her in hospital. In a movie that would have happened. In reality her husband, or soon to be former husband, wasn't here, didn't care and her friend took the long way to see her, to be with her.

"We need to talk about this later."

"Do we?" Sara cocked her head.

"Yes. Right now we don't have time for that."

"Your cousin told me I'm allowed to stay two more nights."

"He's right with that. But I'm not your only visitor."

"Is Greg there?"

"You'll see." Sofia walked to the door. As soon as she opened it two little shadows came inside, calling her name.

"Kieran! Pat!" Sofia had brought the kids with her. That was a nice surprise, who needed Grissom when there were two men happy to see her.

Having the advance of being a bit taller than his uncle, Kieran climbed on Sara's bed and wrapped his arms around her neck.

"Sara. Missed you."

"I missed you too, Kieran." She felt guilty immediately. She hadn't have a lot time to call the boys, she didn't spend a lot of time with them on the internet.

"Missed Sara." Sofia helped her son on the bed and he hugged Sara too.

"Hey Patti, I missed you too. You grew!"

"Yes!"

"Me too."

"I can see that, Kieran." Sara held both boys in her arms. She had to fight tears. Her friend and the two children came all the way down from Wyoming to see her, they left the ranch, the work to be with her. And her husband? He didn't even call. Maybe she should get used to call Grissom not her husband anymore.

"Now get away from here before she looses her infusion." Sofia instructed the boys. "Back off a bit."

"You can stay on the bed, boys."

"Present for Sara!"

"There you go." Sofia gave Kieran a little bag.

"For you." The boy smiled when he gave the bag to Sara.

"I get presents all the time from you guys and no chance so far to give anything to you.

"You bring something to people who are in hospital."

"It seems like I make the right decision. At least when you focus on presents."

"Yes."

"Open! Open!" Pat demanded.

"Alright." Sara unwrapped the paper. It wasn't a big bag, not even twice the size of her hand. But heavy. Too heavy for a CD or DVD. A book? The shape didn't fit for a book.

"A horseshoe?"

"Not just a horseshoe, it's Caza's. She got new ones last week, Jon got this one for you, cleaned it so that you have something personal from your summer horse. Fortuna's are new, we couldn't give you hers."

"She got them last week. Wow, cool. Thanks." Maybe this sign of luck could help her to get her life back on the lucky side. She had to put it over her door, the open side up so the luck couldn't fall out.

"It's for luck." Kieran explained.

"I know. I hope it works."

"Of course it will."

"I might give it to Greg and every time you want to work a double he has to hit you on your head with it until you go home."

"Great, I'll get one concussion after the other."

"Go home on time and everything will be alright."

"It's not that easy all the time."

"We won't argue about your work hours now. There are children around."

"I'll keep you both with me." Sara said to the boys. "Sofia is nicer when you're around and I'm sure the nurses will be nicer too."

"The detective says you have to listen to the doctor and the nurse."

Sara looked at Sofia. She knew she couldn't say different, but Sara could see how Sofia enjoyed the fact that Sara had to agree even when she didn't want to agree.

"You want to get well soon you need to listen, yes."

"That's why we'll leave Sara alone now. She needs to rest, she just woke up."

"Want to stay." Kieran protested.

"I'm not tired." Sara said.

"We have a deal with the doctor, guys. We'll be back tomorrow, for today it's enough. Down the bed and say goodbye."

"Bye Sara." Pat said.

"Bye Sara." Kieran looked sadly.

"You can come back tomorrow, Honey." She stroke his cheek. "I promise I'll be here."

"You better are." Sofia smirked. "Have some sleep, take your medicine and rest."

"Be nice to the boys."

"Always. Shall I bring you anything? Apparently you don't have anything here and I'm sure you want to leave your bed for a walk…but not for a walk in your hospital shirt."

"If I have my keys…" Sara opened the nightstand to her bed. In the second drawer were her keys. She gave them to Sofia.

"Thanks. Just…anything. I won't stay that long anymore."

"I'll get you some fresh stuff, something casual to sit and walk around. For three days."

"I won't stay another three days."

Sofia simply smiled without saying a word. There was no reason to argue with Sara. It wasn't up to Sofia to make a decision when the brunette could leave, that was a fight Sara had to fight with her doctor and Sofia was glad, she could stay out of that. There was no way she would get herself involved in that fight.


	37. Chapter 37

First Sara could smell something that didn't belong into the hospital. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw long blonde hair.

"Did I sleep again a whole night?"

"No, it's evening."

"Oh, good…I think."

"I brought you something." Sofia placed a small bag on Sara nightstand. A bigger bag Sara recognized as her travel bag for short trips Sofia placed in front of the bed. Some fresh clothes for Sara.

"It smells good…"

"A vegetarian burrito. I blackmailed my cousin and smuggled it in. I know you don't like the food here and I thought before you don't eat at all I'll get you something you like."

"Sofia?"

"Mhm?"

"I love you." Sara sighed.

"Thanks." Sofia grinned. That was a nice way to hear a thank you.

"You bring me decent food. How did I manage to survive hospital before?"

"Not good that why you came up to us."

"Yeah."

"Did you work too much to come back to us?"

"It's a nice side-effect if it works out, isn't it?"

"No. You can hurt yourself seriously." Sofia stroke some hair out of Sara's face.

"My stubborn head is solid."

"Your stubbornness is more than solid."

"It's called character."

"You can see the world through rose-colored glasses."

"Yes." Sara bit in her burrito. That was good, that was real food. "Did you leave the boys with your mother?"

"Yes. It's not an official visitor time so I asked if it's alright if I come along and leave them with her. With that I used the last favor my cousin owed me. So please don't do something like this again. There won't be another burrito."

"I don't think I'll stay here tomorrow night. They can have their checks tonight I'll leave tomorrow."

"Do you think that's smart?"

"Six nights are more than enough."

"You were unconscious for four nights."

"I wasn't awake for long times, I woke up."

"So short that you can't remember it. You thought it's still the same day you had your accident."

"Did he tell you everything?"

"No."

"And what accident?"

"You fell asleep in your car in front of a red traffic light. Somehow you started your car and bumped into the car in front of you. That's when you hit your head."

"My car is…"

"You'll need a new one."

"Shit. Ecklie will kill me." She had taken the CSI car.

"He won't come close to you as long as you're here."

"Are you trying to make me stay longer? I can lock the door and he has to stay outside."

"I worry about you."

"If you worry that much you can stay with me. You and the boys. This way there'll be three people looking after me, making sure I'll stay in bed and whatever else your cousin will tell me to do or not to do. I assume I'm not allowed to work this week anymore."

"At least one week."

"After I crashed the car I might not even have a job anymore."

"I don't think he'll be that mad."

"It's Ecklie."

"Yeah…" Sofia stopped.

"What?" Sara felt her friend wanted to say something more.

"Nothing."

"Talk Sofia. I can see you want to ask or say something."

"I thought Grissom would be here. I know they called him, left a message for him. It's the third time, you were unconscious for four days…"

"He won't come, we both know it. He doesn't care that's why I sent the ring bach."

"You filed a petition for divorce?"

"Kind of. I wrote him a letter, I don't want to be married to somebody who isn't interested in me, who doesn't care for me. If I am more important for him than his job he should show it fast or it's better when we go separate ways. Knowing Grissom and knowing he won't leave his job behind you can say, I filed a petition for divorce, yes."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Sofia took Sara's hand.

"No need to be sorry. It's better. He proved the last months I'm not important for him. He prefers to spend time with his work and not with me, he doesn't call when I'm in hospital. The only time he called was to ask me where I am because he expected me in France. He didn't sound sad or disappointed that I wasn't there, only annoyed.

And I thought about my life a lot in the last months. I don't want to be old and sit alone in my apartment while my husband is somewhere working and hadn't been back home for weeks or month. I spent enough time in my life alone, I don't want that anymore. Grissom can't give me what I want, he can't change himself and I doubt he would be happy if he tried to."

"What did he say when you sent him the ring back?"

"He didn't say anything. I doubt he called my home number, he knows I'm here. According to your cousin nobody called for me. Did you call for me?"

"No he called me and I told him I'll come down right away."

"What's with the farm?"

"They'll be fine. I took the boys with me so the three will be fine. We've only five guests this week, Cat's friends are staying there, they don't need me."

"They always need you, Sofia."

"They can cope."

"When will you fly back?"

"I haven't booked a flight back, I wanted to see first how you are, if you need help. I'll look for flights later."

"Don't let them work too hard because of me. They'll hate me for that."

"If there had been the chance the whole family would be here, Sara. They miss you. Jamie counts the days until he's here and Cat is working on a huge paint of Fortuna and Lucky. And Jon…he misses you most."

"Huh?" Sara had bet that Jamie missed her most.

"Are you surprised?"

"A bit. I thought Jamie would miss me more."

"He misses you a lot, he looks forward to see you again and everything but Jon…you know how sad Kieran was when you left?"

"He cried." It still broke Sara's heart when she saw the tears and the sad face of the boy. How sad he was that she left and he had to stay.

"Jon suffered more. He suffers. He misses you, Sara. He never said a word, never will but I know him and I know, he misses you. Whatever you did to my oldest son, when you left us, you took a piece of him with you."

"I didn't know it got so much to him."

"It does."

"Do you think I should call him?"

"Did you talk to him at all?"

"No." Sara felt even more guilty. She had talked to Sofia most times, sent a few text messages to Jamie and Cat, one or two to Jon. Somehow she couldn't write or talk to him.

"I should do that."

"Being his mother I should tell you to stay away from my son, not to hurt him anymore. I know you don't want to hurt him, I know you don't want him sad and it might help if the two of you talk."

"I'll talk to him. I could tell you I was busy and had barely time to do anything…well I had a break down again, it's obvious I was busy and you know how tired I was when we were on the phone…but I won't use that as an excuse."

"He misses you." Sofia didn't feel good when she thought of that. Her son wasn't supposed to miss Sara that much. She didn't want that.

"I'll call him."

"Good."

"Do you want me back on the ranch for Christmas?"

"Of course."

"Sofia, I can see you don't like the idea that Jon misses me so much."

"I think he has a crush on you."

"I can't see that but you're his mother. If you want me not to call him, to stay away, it's alright. I want what is best for him."

"I want him happy and you with us at Christmas would make him happy. Beside, if you won't be there Christmas you'll break Kieran's heart and make three other children very sad. The life on the ranch isn't the same since you've been gone."

"I miss the time with you guys every day. Did you find some help?"

"No. We had two men there who wanted a job but they didn't fit to us. It looks like we'll have to do it alone."

"Shit."

"Yeah. To employ the wrong person would be worse."

"True. Ask Ecklie. He employed me and will regret it now."

"He doesn't regret it. You had an accident because you worked too much, who makes you work so much? He. It's his fault. If he would send you home after ten hours, makes you take your two days off a week this accident would have never happened. You can sue him for breach of duty of supervision."

"He'll tell me I could have taken a cap to court."

"That doesn't change anything of the fact that you work too much."

"We can't stop working after eight hours every day, can we?" Sara smiled. She knew Sofia never had an eight hours day, the blonde worked also over twelve hours. Her advantage was, she was her own boss and could make a break whenever she felt like it.

"We can try not to kill ourselves."

"I never tried to commit suicide."

"You'll work yourself to death one day."

"No I'll end up here and your cousin will send me back to you."

"I wish he would send you back to us right away."

"Sounds good to me. To be realistic I think I'll be back on duty next week."

"Do you want that?"

"Any other choice?"

"You've all choices in the world, Sara. You can do whatever you want to do, there's no law that says you've to stay in Vegas and work here. You can go anywhere else, every city will be more than happy to have you as a CSI."


	38. Chapter 38

"Sara! Sara! Sara!" Kieran jumped on the bed and hugged Sara.

"Hey rookie." She pressed the boy in her arms.

"He annoyed me the whole morning, we had no other choice than coming here." Sofia smiled. She had planed to visit Sara anyway.

"The rookie tells the detective what to do, interesting. And you, Pat? You had to come with them because you need an officer by your side?"

"CSI?"

"Yes, you'll use your brain and become a CSI, that is a very good idea."

"I won't start this argument with you again that a detective has a brain too and uses it."

"Not? What a pity."

"Tell me how long will you stay here."

"Another night." Sara's good mood was gone within a second. She had tried to argue, had threaten, begged, tried to make a deal and whatever came to her mind but her doctor had told her she had to stay another night in hospital. If she was alright tomorrow she could go home but had to stay in bed and rest.

"He won? Wow."

"He said he'd call Ecklie and tell him not to let me come back to work until he hadn't finish a lot of tests to find out why I have these break downs. Blackmailing. Very mean blackmailing. I hate your cousin."

"He tries to keep you alive."

"He destroys my life."

"I don't think so. See to bright side of it, you have some visitor."

"Yes." Sara stroke Kieran's back. The boy refused to let go of her.

"We can use the balcony if you want."

"Yes! I hate this room, let's go out. And if nobody pays attention I'll leave with you."

"Forget it." Sofia got Kieran in her arms.

"Sara!"

"Sara needs to dress so we can go out with her."

"Give me a second and you can come back on my arm, Kieran." Sara put on a jumper and slipped in her shoes. With Kieran on her arm and Sofia with Pat on her arm they went to the balcony and found a bench in the sun.

"Want a coffee?" Sofia asked.

"Absolutely."

"I'll get us one."

"Boys tell me, what happened on the ranch? How are the horses?"

"Good."

"I'll get pony." Pat smiled.

"You'll get a pony? That sounds good. When?"

"Birthday."

"I bet you're anxious to have birthday soon."

"Yes."

"First Christmas."

"Yes, of course first Christmas. But that will be another three months."

"So long."

"Time will fly."

"Lucky is big."

"Is he? I'm glad my foal grows. You know maybe you can ride him later, Kieran."

"Really?"

"Is he still black?"

"Dark brown."

"If you would also take a brown horse you can ride Lucky. He is a mustang, you wanted a mustang."

"And me?" Patrick asked.

"You'll get your pony and when you're older we'll find a horse for you. First a pony."

"Are you making animal plans with my kids?" Sofia gave Sara a coffee and put two mugs with chocolate milk on the bench for the boys. She had some cookie for all of them too. The vending machine was probably better than the cookie they sold in the shop. They looked like they were longer in this building than Sara was.

"I offered Kieran Lucky if that's okay with you. It will take another five years until he needs a horse…"

"Make it seven."

"Or so. And if he wants and you're fine with that he can have Lucky. Not black but a mustang."

"He's your horse, Sara."

"No, your name is in the paper. "

"I never signed them, he's still yours. But yes, if Kieran wants he can ride him. Until then Lucky is old enough to be a riding horse. I had the saddle on Fortuna and she's fine with it. She's a fast learner."

"Of course she is, she is a smart horse."

"Not like her owner who doesn't learn."

"I'll ignore that."

"Ignoring the truth doesn't change it."

"You're lucky the kids are around, detective."

"Is that so, investigator?"

"Yes. Did you visit the guys?"

"Sure. I had to tell Greg off for not taking care of you. He said you don't listen when he tells you to work less hours. Somehow it wasn't that difficult to believe him."

"Not? Well maybe he didn't try hard enough."

"I guess you're too stubborn."

"Life is a challenge and so am I."

"Oh yes. Lucky for you I like challenges."

"You're a smart and strong woman, of course you do."

"Don't start sucking up."

"I won't."

"Did you make a decision how long you'll stay."

"Another three nights. We've been away for one week by then."

"Really time to go back."

"Yes. They need my help even if I'd like to stay longer to make sure you're alright."

"I'll be fine, don't worry."

"I do worry, Sara." Sofia took Sara's hand. She worried a lot about her friend. She worried that Sara would have a fourth break down because she worked too much. Knowing that her friend had asked for a divorce, she knew Sara would bury herself in work so that she didn't have to think about Grissom and herself. As soon as the brunette was back on duty there would be double shifts, no days off and another break down. She had no idea how to stop that. Should she talk to Cath? Or Ecklie that they stopped Sara from working so much? She didn't want to involve them but she had no other idea so far how to make sure there won't be another phone call of her cousin in a month. The blonde needed a very good idea how to solve that problem.

* * *

"You forgot something!"

"Huh?" Sofia was confused. What kind of greeting was that? She wanted to bring Sara home after she was allowed to leave the hospital under the condition to stay in bed and rest. To make that sure Sofia would stay with her. The blonde knew, if she left Sara alone, the brunette was back in the lab tonight and there would be double shifts instead of rest.

"My babies."

"They're on the road with their grandmother…and the captain."

"Uh-huh…captain? Is there somebody else who doesn't like the grand in front of certain words?"

"The grand is alright, great-grand is too much."

"A family problem."

"We have ranks, we can use them."

"How long do you want to use them?"

"Another ten to fifteen years."

"Kieran isn't a rookie anymore when he joins the police academy?"

"If he ever joins it he'll be a rookie again and work for another rank."

"I'll get him in the lab."

"A lab rat?"

"With crazy hair."

"You want a baby Greg, you make a baby with Greg!" Sofia stabbed Sara with her index finger and smiled.

"I use your rookie, more fun for me."

"Maybe I should leave you here."

"I'll call a cab."

Sofia rolled her eyes and smirked. "Come on, I bring you home before my cousin changes his mind."

"He isn't here, has the morning off. He told me he doesn't want to see me anymore as a patient."

"He's right. You've been enough in hospital."

"I didn't want to be here."

"Stop treating your body so bad and you can stay away."

"That's my plan." Sara followed Sofia to her car. Because the blonde and the boys flew to Las Vegas, they had the car of Sofia's father.

"Do you remember where I live?"

"You have the concussion not me."

"I had."

"We're not sure about that."

"No headache, no blurry eyes, I'm fine. Yes I will stay in bed or on the couch today like I promised."

"You better do."

"If I would be as bitchy as you always call me I'd snap at you right now. Mind your own business, don't treat me like a child, don't you dare to tell me what to do and what not to do. I am not bitchy I won't say that."

"Close your eyes and relax I'll drive you home."

"I knew you appreciate that." Sara grinned.

Sofia's left corner of her mouth moved up a bit. Sara was fine. Or at least well enough to go home. No doubt the brunette had shocked her when she got the call that she was in hospital and without conscious for two days. No wonder Sofia had immediately packed her stuff, took the boys and left to Vegas. Somehow she knew Grissom won't appear and Sara needed somebody to be there. Greg was there as much as it was possible for him. Losing Sara on the team forced him to work more and have less time for her.


	39. Chapter 39

"You watered my plants." Sara had a look at her plants first when she came home.

"Sure. They needed some water."

"Thanks. Have a seat, I'll make some coffee."

"Sure." Sofia walked over to Sara, put her hands on the brunette's shoulders, moved her to the couch and pressed her down. "You won't make any coffee or anything else. You'll sit there and rest. Don't even try to argue or I'll get you back in hospital right now. I saw the coffee machine, you tell me where the rest is and I'll make coffee."

"Am I allowed to change?"

"Yes."

"Thanks." Sara got up. That was like hospital, she was barely allowed to do anything. Making a coffee wasn't a thing that exhausted her. She had to rest a bit, alright but she wasn't about to die and couldn't move anymore.

With fresh clothes she came in the kitchen, smelling the coffee that was running.

"Fresh coffee. I missed that smell."

"Greg's fresh coffee He left a package for you."

"Heaven."

"It definitely smells good."

"Shall I get us some cookies from the shop downstairs? I walk slowly, I won't run away, I walked in hospital a few yards too. There's no need to tie me to the couch."

"Sara." Sofia walked to the brunette and pulled her in her arms. "You're free to do whatever you want. I hope you'll rest, I can't force you. If you want to go down, you can go. If you want to have a run in the park, I can't stop you. All I hope is that you don't get yourself back in hospital because you really scared me. This accident together with the fatigue was a dangerous combination. You could have hurt somebody, you could have been killed. I don't like the idea you're hurt, injured or killed."

"Neither do I." Sara kissed Sofia's cheek.

"Good. I like you too much to see you hurt, injured or kill. And I know some other people who think the same and look forward to see you healthy again."

"Can we sit?"

"Are you alright?" Sofia pushed Sara a few inches away to take a good look at her. The brunette wasn't fit but she didn't look to exhausted.

"Yes, don't worry. I just…I want to ask you something….suggest something? Offer something? Tell you something that might be absolute bogus, I don't know. You need to make something out of this for yourself."

They sat on the sofa, Sara kept Sofia's hands in hers.

"I had some time to think…guess this is hard…not easy to describe…say…sorry I didn't practice this I've no idea how to say it the best way…"

"Sara, just say it."

"You're funny I try."

"Okay, if you want to tell me you love me with all your heart and soul I won't tell you that you don't have a heart but I'll tell you I'll break your heart because there will never be something more than friendship between us."

"Huh? I love you? Are you nuts?" Sara furrowed her brows. How did the blonde got this idea? That was hilarious.

"Every friend of you is nuts otherwise he or she wouldn't be your friend. Now that you're a bit more relaxed because I put something crazy in your mind you might be able to tell me what this is all about. You can simply tell me and I make something with it. It can't be too bad…I hope. You thought a lot about what?"

"Don't confuse me like a suspect, you don't try to get a statement from me. I thought of a lot of things, that's why I sent Grissom his ring back and ask for a petition for divorce. That was a major thing I thought about the whole summer. I hoped we can work it out until I realized I don't want him and me to work it out anymore, I don't want to go on like that, I want something else, I want something he can't give me. And realizing I'm not the most important thing in his life hurt. Being with you the whole summer got my attention away from my problems, gave me some security so that I was sure I do the right thing when I ended this marriage…I'm talking about something that has nothing to do with what I wanted to talk about with you…

Anyway, the accident and the last five weeks showed me Las Vegas isn't good for me. I love it, I had such a great time here, met so many great people, I love this town but I can't stay here anymore. I'll end up again in hospital because I'll drown myself in work again. You know that and I know that. I need something to focus on, I don't have a husband anymore to focus on, my friends are workaholics too, this will be an endless circle with work, overtime and hospital.

I need to get out of this. Means, I need to leave Vegas. I thought of going back to San Francisco, I like the city and I like the ocean. Again a place with a past for me, not a good one. It's not wise to go there. I need a new place or a place I feel safe and/or I can concentrate on other things than work. Maybe I need to see a shrink, people did suggest that to me before…whatever…"

Sofia wanted to tell Sara to come to the point and stop talking about things that had nothing to do with whatever she wanted to tell the blonde but she knew Sara needed this time to sort out her thoughts and concentrate. She needed time to find the best sentence for her request, offer, question, idea or whatever she had in mind.

"I need to get this straight or you'll hit me for talking bullshit…you said you sent the last two guys away who wanted to work for you, right?"

"Right."

"You told me what you are looking for, experience with horses, good with people, who gets along with your family, reliable and so on…I can't offer most of these things, well I think I get quite good along with your family and I am a kind of reliable…experience with horses? Not really, good with people? You can answer that yourself, you know me well enough. So I don't think I am…"

"Yes Sara."

"I thought so, it was only an idea…"

"I mean yes we want you, Sara." Sofia pulled Sara in her arms. Why did Sara make such a fuzz about something so good? Like Sofia ever would say no to this suggestion. Sara on the ranch, working with them was perfect. For Sara, for Sofia, for the ranch.

"Do you?"

"We should go back to hospital there must be something wrong with this head of yours. It doesn't work anymore. You're perfect."

"I don't have…"

"Stop telling me what you don't have, I know what you have and that's important. Everything you can't learn you have already the rest are things you can learn and you learnt most of them already."

"Did I?"

"Yes."

"Uhm…thanks."

"But are you sure that you really want to give up your life as a CSI?"

"Yes. The last months showed I might be a good CSI but the human can't handle the CSI in me anymore. To make sure I don't put myself and other people in danger I should stop my CSI life. I don't say I've to stop it forever, but for a certain time. I think if I get away for a few years I might be able to go back. I doubt I want that because I didn't miss violence and dead body every night when I was with you, so…yeah…if you want me there, I'll quit my job and come to you….you need to talk that through with the rest of the family. Don't make a decision by yourself."

"I know their answers."

"It doesn't matter, I want you to fly back and talk to them and then I'll talk to them to hear what they think. I'll stay in Vegas until Jamie is here anyway. I promised him he can stay at my place, I'll keep my promise. And I can't leave the team overnight."

"You'll stay a few more weeks?"

"At least two, Jamie will be here in the middle of October if I can arrange it I'll come with him to Wyoming. This way he saves a flight, we can drive. Some company for me."

"He can drive and give you the chance to rest every few hours."

"Yes. We can have a stop or two in the middle, there's no need to hurry, I don't want him to drive too much and I know, he won't let me drive like twelve hours. He's too much like you, so we'll plan two stops."

"I'm glad you learn. Even if you only learn because you know you'll be in trouble otherwise and not because it's better for you."

"Not being in trouble is good for me." Sara grinned.

Sofia rolled her eyes. What could she say about something like that?

"Greg will hate this idea."

"I know. He'll understand it's the best thing to do." At least Sara hoped he would understand. And there was no reason why he couldn't come to Wyoming and visit her. Greg and Sofia got along very good, Sara was sure he was welcome on the ranch whenever he felt like a little holiday.

"He will."

"I don't know what hit your head but I'm glad it hit it and made you make this decision."

"Probably one of my countless falls from Caza made me make this decision." Sara grinned.

"She'll be happy to offer you some more falls. And you can work with Fortuna. Let's say you're there in three or four weeks that means you can start with sitting on her. You'll be the first who ever sat on your horse."

"Me? You're the one who knows…"

"I'll be with you, don't worry. I'll hold her."

"Oh dear…oh well…I like that…I like every idea what brings me back to you guys."

"We like them too." Sofia took Sara's hand and smiled. Sara as her new help, she couldn't ask for somebody better. She had to teach Sara some things but she knew Sara was a fast learner and she fit perfect to her family. She trusted her and Sara was reliable. Sofia would be stupid when she didn't take the brunette's offer.

And she would know that Sara was fine when she was with her. There was no way she'd let Sara work like twelve hours a day without a break. Sara could count on a lot of breaks and days she could spent away from the farm. In all her two months the brunette hadn't managed to go to the Yellow Stone National Park, Sofia would make sure Sara took a trip to there this fall. It was a wonderful place to visit with all the colorful leaves.

"Do you want to tell the kids or shall I do that?"

"I want to tell them. I made them sad when I left, I want to make them happy."

"Alright. You know, you'll get welcome back presents?"

"That's the real reason why I come back, I want presents. But I know when you come to people you like you bring them something. What means I've to get something for the kids and not for you."

"Bitchy as usual."

"Me?"

"Telling you don't like me isn't nice."

"I didn't say I hate you."

"What did you say?"

"I love you, Sofia."

"Like you love the children."

"Yes."

"No presents for them then."

"Maybe I change the rule to giving presents to everybody I like and love." Sara grinned.

"Our biggest gift will be having you back." Sofia got Sara back in her arms. There was nothing Sara could buy that could make the kids as happy as the news that Sara will be back on the ranch. Back for good.


	40. Chapter 40

**October**

The last box was packed, her apartment was empty and every step sounded hollow. Almost two years after Sara had moved in she was about to leave. She had never intent to stay long here, it was too small for her and Grissom, it was supposed to be something for the time she was waiting for her husband. He never arrived, there was no reason to be sad, she wasn't attached to this apartment.

"Sad?" Jamie hugged Sara. He had stayed the week with her and Sara felt guilty because he didn't stay in an apartment, it was more chaos. She had arranged to leave together with him and sold all of her furniture. The last two nights both had slept on the ground in sleeping bags. No kitchen, no living room. Like camping inside a building, worse than most students lived. She wasn't the best host.

"To leave this apartment? No. To leave Las Vegas, a bit. That you had to stay in this, I'm really sorry for that."

"I didn't have to stay here, I could have stayed with my grandmother, same for you. We both wanted to stay here."

"I needed to finish this…it's amazing, two weeks ago my whole life was in these two rooms, now all I own is in my car. I don't own any furniture anymore, only clothes, books, CDS, DVDs and a computer."

"More than some people do."

"Even in college I had more."

"You'll get everything you need. There's a queen size bed waiting, a wardrobe, a desk, shelves and if you want anything more we'll get it. I think we could prepare the room a bit and you will like it – I hope."

"I don't really care about the room, I'm glad to be out of here. To be at a place that's good for me."

"Three break-downs are more than enough, yes. I'll make it my mission to make sure you'll have enough sleep."

"Will you?"

"Oh yes." He smiled. "Don't force me to lock you in your room every night, Sara."

"Even if you would do that I can stay awake or climb out of the window."

"You can't open your windows. I removed the handles."

"Prison?"

"Yes. As soon as you're there I'll take your car keys and you can't run away. You'll be a prisoner."

"You don't make want to go there sooner." She laughed. "Is there anything we need to take with us when we leave? Anything you saw in Vegas that you can't there?"

"Around one million hot chicks."

"I'm not sure we'll get them all in my car. Can you choose one?"

"Let's say seven, there are seven days a week. You don't every day the same."

"I've every day coffee."

"Coffee is more like an one night stand, you can have it every day without that it bothers you."

"Does your mother know how you talk about relationships?"

"No."

"You better keep it like that."

"She might be surprised."

"Horrified."

"Or so. Seriously, there are a million things in Vegas you can't get in Alice Town, if you need them is the other question. We have the pictures of our Stratosphere Tower experience. You really joined me in all the attractions, I'm still impressed."

"I like them. We rode every roller coaster." She had always wanted to do that with Grissom but he wanted this to have it for himself. The roller coaster ride was his personal way to relax, his private time, he didn't want his wife with him.

"Sure. We need to come back I want to see more shows, visit more restaurants. Maybe we can talk mom into letting you with me to Vegas when I've my college weeks here. As my private babysitter."

"You need a babysitter?"

"If the babysitter is you, yes."

"We'll see what Sofia says."

"She'll be fine with that. She asked four times today when we will leave tomorrow and told me to make enough stops, to drink enough, not to forget to fill up the car with fuel and only God knows what else she said. I told her you drove the way already, she didn't listen and didn't care."

"She worries about you, she loves you."

"She loves you too."

"We don't fight anymore."

"Come on Sara, she flew to Vegas as soon as her cousin told her you're in hospital. I mean, it's not love like love you have for a partner but it's love. You're very important to her, you're a part of the family. Like it or not."

"I like it. I must have done something right, she wants me on the ranch. Me instead of somebody who knows what he or she is doing."

"I never had the feeling you don't know what you're doing."

"I've no ideas about horses."

"You do. The rest you'll learn." He stopped. "I know what we don't get in Alice Town that we get here."

"What?"

"Movies! Let's go shopping and buy movies."

"I thought nowadays you buy everything from the internet."

"Yeah, you can do that. But going shopping is much cooler."

"In that case let's be cool and go shopping." She took her keys. No point in staying in the empty apartment, it was their last evening in Vegas, they had a dinner with Greg later and Sara would say goodbye to her colleagues. Until then they could go shopping or whatever Jamie felt like doing.

* * *

"Welcome home." Sofia pulled Jamie in her arms and got Sara too. "Both of you."

"Mom, I was away for a week not for a year."

"You'll never leave your mommy for a year."

"Last time I remember you wanted him to see the world, to explore…"

"Sara, one more word and you can save unpacking, you can simply go in your car and leave. Understood?" Sofia smiled. She knew what she said, that was no reason tell Jamie and give him any ideas. Ideas, she hadn't told him already.

"Am I already employed?"

"No you'll start next week."

"So long I can say what I want."

"You can always say what you want, you'll see and feel what you get for it."

"I might change my mind again." Sara got out of Sofia's arms.

"I'll help you with your luggage before you change your mind." Jamie threw his big bag over his shoulder and took a box with Sara's things.

"With all these things I've a lot of time to change my mind before we're done. We could start with some boxes and leave the rest for…whenever."

"No reason not to get everything in your room now and you'll get organized whenever you feel like it." Sofia grabbed another box and groaned. Did Sara took the bricks of her apartment with her? Or a room of the lab as a souvenir? This box was heavy, she guessed at least twenty pounds. It needed a sticker for heavy luggage.

"Books." Sara comment with a smirk.

"You don't need books anymore, you're not a geek anymore, you'll be a slave. Slaves don't read."

"Don't make me leave, Sofia."

"You can't, I've your keys."

"I put them in my pocket…" Sara stopped. Her pocket was empty. In disbelieve she looked at the blonde who had her keys in her hands.

"You're a pickpocket!"

"I'm full of talents. Want to walk or stay?"

"I'm a CSI I can drive a car without keys."

"Really?"

"Could you stop bitching around?" Jamie stopped them. "Mom, you're happy to have Sara here, you missed her long enough and you, Sara, you're happy to be here, you gave up everything that's important to you what means, this place is even more important for you. And now get the things inside, I want Sara to see her new room."

"I thought I get my old one back."

"Women never listen…I told you we rearranged it."

"Yeah special bitch corner." Sofia grinned and bopped Sara.

"You've your own corner in my room?" The brunette shot back.

"In your room and in your heart."

"At least you admit that I've a heart."

"Of stone."

"Who needs the bitch corner?"

"You. We're far away from being even." Sofia put the box on the table in the living room, walked to Sara's room's door and took Sara's box. "We proudly present your new room." She opened the door with her free hand to give Sara a free view of her room.

"Wow!" Had the room been four by four with a small bed and a little wardrobe inside and only a small desk under the window, this looked different. Somehow the room was bigger, Sara guessed it was twice it old size. A queen size bed was in the left corner where she could go to her own bathroom. Next to it a big wardrobe and a nightstand. On the right side was a big desk, two book shelves and TV shelf. In front of them was the real new part of her room: it was longer than before and the new space was filled with a couch, a table and an armchair. All three stood in front of a huge window wall. On the right and the left side to this new part of the room were two thick curtains, Sara could use to separate the new and the old part. This way nobody could look into her 'bedroom'.

"She doesn't look like she hates it." Jamie grinned.

"She looks like she likes it a bit." Sofia smiled.

"What have you done to the room? It's amazing."

"We thought you need a place you feel good, like home." Sofia laid her arm around Sara's waist. "There are curtains at your window so nobody can look inside but you still get some sunlight. And Jamie planted a bed in front of your window, nobody should walk in front of it. If you're still annoyed with people we'll get the fence for the horses a little bit more to here and you have horses in front of your window."

"I think I'll be fine. Thanks. That's really…it's an apartment."

"You left one you need a new one."

"Thanks." Sara hugged Sofia and kissed her. "You're amazing."

"I want you to feel good here, Sara. We wanted to have you upstairs with us, but there's only a narrow room free, without a bathroom. This offers you more space. It's not that we don't want you upstairs with us, it was only..."

"Shut up, Sofia." Sara kissed Sofia's cheek. "It's perfect and I know upstairs is no space. No need to feel sorry and apologize. I'm more than happy with this room."

"Good. I'm glad you like it."

"I do."

"Sara! Sara! Sara!" Kieran jumped more than he ran the stairs down and ended up right in Sara's arms.

"Hey Kieran, nice to see you."

"Missed you. You stay?"

"I'll stay, yes. Want me to bring you to kindergarten tomorrow?"

"Yes!" The eyes of the boy brighten up even more.

"I'll do that and get you back from there too."

"Like a mom."

She wanted to say she wasn't his mother but she couldn't. He was so happy, she couldn't say something like that to him.

"Like an investigator who looks after the rookie."

"The rookie has to look after the CSI. The police needs to take care of the CSI, we have to protect and serve them, we need them to catch the bad guys." He explained with a very wise tone in his voice.

Sara looked at Sofia and had problems to stay serious. The blonde was grinning and also fighting with a loud laughter. Yes she had told Kieran this but she didn't think he'd remember all that so good.

"I think as an investigator I can look after a rookie."

"No, I need to protect the CSI."

"Okay, you'll protect me."

"Stop flirting with the rookie, there's work waiting in your car." Jamie carried the next box in Sara's room. "Is it alright when I leave all around your office area? I think you don't want to unpack today."

"No, not more than I need for tonight. I can do that the next few days. All we need to find are the souvenirs."

"That has time until tomorrow or so." Jamie grinned. He knew what Sara had bought for everybody, no need for him to hurry. He had his gift already.

"Just because you don't get anything we don't want to wait." Cat came the stairs down and shook her head about her brother. "You're selfish, Jamie. Hi Sara, good to see you again and I'm glad you made it back before Christmas." She hugged Sara.

"Thanks. Let me guess, you painted the walls."

"Yes."

"She designed the extra part of your room. A lot of light and extra space, our artist."

"You're the cook I'm the artist, brother."

"Yes. So come on, a lot of artists work as mover to get some money for their life. You know we'll be rich after we're dead."

"I might cut off my ear and will be famous before I die."

"Didn't work with van Gough as far as I know."

"I'll be better than him."

"My kids have self-esteem." Sofia carried a suitcase inside.

"They're smug like their mother."

"Means they're right."

"Arrogant."

"Are you here to insult is or will you help carrying YOUR stuff?"

"I thought I booked full service."

"I didn't see any money on my account."

"Not? Did I forgot that?"

"Looks like."

"I'll change that tomorrow if the service increases."

"You'll get paid if your service increases." Sofia grinned.

"Even better. Okay, time for me to carry something…like my gift for Cat. That's on top of all the stuff."

"So big?" Cat grinned.

"Yes. Actually it is, we couldn't get a bag or anything like that for it." Sara took Cat's hand with her left because she still had Kieran on her right arm. She doubted the boy would let her go so easily. Maybe when she asked him to help her with the boxes, remind the rookie has to help the CSI she had a change to get him out of her arms without a lot of tears.

"Kieran, can you help us with my stuff? Are you strong enough?"

"Arm."

"We need to get my stuff inside and your CSI could use some help."

"Okay."

"Look I found a box for you." Jamie gave a shoe box to Kieran.

"And that's for you." Sara got a huge canvas out of her car. That's why she had a Denali, a lot of space. The canvas was two by one and a half.

"Wow!"

"Jamie said you don't get them this size here so we brought you one. For your first large paint."

"Thanks." Cath hugged Sara. "That must have cost a fortune."

"It will cost a fortune after you worked on it."

"The perfect size for the living room." Sofia said cheerful.

"What do you pay for it, mom?"

"A kiss?"

"Try again."

"Finish it and we'll talk about it again."

"My first money with my pictures…"

"We need to talk about that later, Cat. I think I've an idea you might like." Sara said.

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"First your stuff, then dinner, after that talk." Jamie protested. "I'm hungry."

"We'll order pizza."

"Order? No way mom, we make pizza."

"That will take too long, you'll survive delivered pizza."

"Better than the supermarket stuff."

"You're too picky."

"I've style."

"Take this box with your style." Sara handed him a big box.


	41. Chapter 41

After the dinner Sara took some time for herself. Her room was filled up with her stuff and she would spend some time to coordinate and reorganize everything. There was no reason to hurry, she could simply unpack a box a day.

She liked the way they separated the room in areas. A bedroom, an office and a living room. Like a little apartment. And the huge windows gave her room so much light. Now that she didn't sleep during the days anymore she could use huge windows, could have a drink on her windowsill. It was a foot wide, enough space to sit on it and watch the world outside. Oh that would be great in winter, when it was snowing, with a coffee, covered up in a blanket and watching the snow.

Had she made the right decisions? Leaving Las Vegas, leaving her job, her friends. The idea of leaving Las Vegas had been in her head for a few weeks. For a while she wasn't sure if it wasn't better for her to go back to Paris, to be with Grissom. His lack of interest about her life had open her eyes and finally she realized, she didn't love him anymore. He had disappointed her too much, had hurt her. Leaving Las Vegas to be with him would haven't made her happy. Paris didn't make her happy.

Starting a new life here, in a new job, a job never thought of, a job she wasn't trained in, with a crappy money. Did she go to Berkley to end up on a ranch, cleaning the barn and stalls, taking guests out to the national park? You didn't need a diploma for that. Had she just destroyed her life as a CSI and her career? When she stayed here for a few years she was out of business, nobody would employ her anymore. She doubt Ecklie would take her back, he took her back once.

A new life as a stable-lad. Stable-girl? No more Ecklie, no more politics but Sofia as her boss. Could she handle that? They became friends, their relationship was very good, but how would Sara react when Sofia gave her orders? It wasn't easy for Sara to take orders from anybody, how could she take orders from Sofia? Would they end up fighting because Sara didn't want to do what she was told to? She hoped not.

She could see Fortuna and Lucky from her window. Her horses had recognized her, she was sure about that. Fortuna had rubbed her head on her arm and Lucky 'kissed' her. He was so tall compared to seven weeks ago. Her baby became a toddler. And he wore his first own halter. A bright red one.

A knock on her door got her attention away from the horses for a second.

"Come in." No need to get up, the door was open.

"Hey."

"Hi." There was Jon. He had been away with guests the whole day, she hadn't seen him since she was back.

"Welcome back." He came to her and hugged her.

"It's good to be back."

"I hope so. You look tired, didn't Jamie give you enough breaks on your drive?"

"He did. Every four hours he drove."

"The breakdown?"

"Yes."

"You collapsed for the third time within three months, your body will be mad."

"That's why I slept for four nights and three days in a row. I never did that before."

"You overworked yourself."

"Don't sound like your mother."

"I'm sure she told you off, she was very mad when she heard what happened. Well, she was more scared and worried than she was mad, but she was mad too."

"I know, she told me. Thanks for letting her come to Vegas. I think I needed somebody to kick my ass."

"We told her to get you back here, I never thought she really gets you back."

"I asked her…the summer was great, I missed this place…Jon, I'm sorry for not calling when I was back in Vegas and…"

"Ssshhh." He stopped her. "You were busy, that was the reason why you ended up in hospital. You don't owe me an explanation."

"I think I do. I wasn't that easy the last two weeks here and I didn't call…"

"Did you keep your plan to be back for Christmas?"

"Yes. I had asked for a week off already…"

"That was all you promised, Sara."

"Jon…don't make it harder."

"Actually I try to make it easier."

Sara sighed. It didn't feel easier, it felt more complicated. Like it did most times since Lucky's birth.

"Jon, are we alright?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because if we're not I can go. Nothing is unpacked, I wanted to quit my job anyway and can go elsewhere. If there're any bad feelings between us, it might be better if I go."

"Mom told you we all want you here."

"She did. There might be a difference between what you tell her and me."

"I told her exactly what I think. I'm glad you're here, Sara." He took her hand. "There's no reason not to be happy."

"Things weren't that great between us…"

"We can talk about it if you want."

"Not tonight. I'm too tired and I'd like to have in my head organized when we talk. What do you think of having a ride together?"

"Sounds good. Where would you like to go to?"

"The lake will be too cold, won't it?"

"The one you know, yes. There's another one with cabins, we can to there, sleep in a cabin and come back the next morning. You need to know that route anyway, we use it a lot in fall and spring."

"My first lesson as a tour guide?"

"Kind of. What about your gun?"

"I can use it here, everything has been organized."

"Good. All we need to do is get your horse ready. Do you want Caza back until Fortuna is ready?"

"If that's possible."

"It is…that reminds me, you owe me a favor." He grinned.

"Why?"

"As far as I remember you enjoyed to gallop when you left."

"Said who?"

"Sara, it was written all over your face." He smiled.

"Maybe…what do you want?"

"I'll let you know when it's time. Can't think of anything right now. There's no way I'll waste a favor."

"Does bringing your son to kindergarten count as a favor?"

"Do you do that for me?"

"Uhm…yes…okay, more for myself and Kieran."

"He's very happy. I brought him to bed and he couldn't stop talking of you. He told me ten times you'll bring him to kindergarten tomorrow…"

"I hope that's alright, I don't want to…"

"Sara, don't be silly. Of course it's alright. You saw how happy he is, all I want is that my son is happy. It makes him happy to spend time with you, why would I not want that? That would be very stupid."

"You're not stupid."

"Not that stupid." He grinned. "Mom might not agree on that but if it's up to me bringing Kieran and Pat to kindergarten can be your first job of the day."

"Cat takes them with her, she drives there anyway, it makes no sense when I drive there too. There'll be other things to do."

"There's quiet a lot to do. How good are you with your hands?"

"Why?"

"The roof of the barn could use some attention. It has some holes, the walls need some new boards at some places. We leave it like this, our horses won't have a warm and dry place in winter."

"I'm not a roofer or a builder but I can try my best."

"You're a good CSI, you repaired my car, the barn won't be a problem for you."

"Who built the room? I mean this part we're in right now."

"Cat designed it and I built it. She thought you like huge windows and I added the windowsill to it so you can sit on them. I can see it was a good idea. You can lift them, they place under it is hollow. Hide all your treasures in it."

"No way. You know about the place, they won't be safe there. Besides I don't have any treasures. The most valuable thing I own is my computer if you see it from the point of money. My car is too big anyway."

"You can't dismantle it and build it together the next morning?"

"I'm not that bored."

"We won't let you be that bored." He got up. "I'll leave you alone. Do you need anything for your first night?"

"It's not my first night here."

"Your first night as a worker."

"No I'm fine. Thanks." She got up too. She had everything she needed, the only thing that was missing was a good sleep.

"Jon?"

"Yes?" He turned before he reached the door.

Sara walked to him and hugged him. "I missed you and I'm really sorry for not calling. I'm not the best friend but I can try to make up for it if I get a second chance."

"No need for a second chance, you never messed up in the first place." He kissed her hair. "I could have called too. See it that way."

"I was working all day, you had no chance to reach me."

"You've an answering machine, I could have left a message. Stop blaming yourself for something you didn't do."

"Don't be so nice."

"I've no other choice my mom taught me to be nice to women."

"Your mother is a wise person."

"She is, isn't she? Good night Sara."

"Good night Jon."

"And if you wander around the house again, fall asleep in the bed of my son, make sure the two of you are awake for breakfast. No sleep in when it's time for the kindergarten."

"Yes sir." She laughed. Falling asleep in Kieran's bed again? There was a possibility that this could happen again but not tonight. Tonight Sara was so tired, she doubted she'd wander around the house.


	42. Chapter 42

"Breakfast service." Sofia came with a tray in Sara's room. The brunette lifted her head.

"Did I sleep in?"

"No, you're perfect in time. Coffee? Bagel?"

"Is this inclusive with my job?"

"No it isn't. It's the special first day treatment." Sofia sat next to Sara and took a sip of her own coffee. "How did you sleep?"

"Good. This bed is great."

"Happy to hear so."

"Sofia, did I make the right decision?"

"I don't know. How does it feel to you?"

"I'm confused at the moment. I'm happy to be here, I look forward to spend time with you guys but…I do miss Vegas. This time it's not for a few weeks, I gave Vegas up. I've nothing left there."

"You've friends there. Greg, Nick, Cath and Jim, you've somebody left in Vegas. That's better than something."

"True. Do you think we can work together?"

"We did that before."

"Not with you as my boos. You know I'm complicated when it comes to take orders. I'm afraid I might blow off one day for no reason and we'll have a fight."

"We're both adults. Fights happen all the time, you yell at each other, bitch around and at the end you're still friends. I think we can manage to do that, Sara. I fight weekly with my children and we still love each other."

"I'm not your child."

"That makes me hope we won't fight weekly."

"And if we fight?"

"We'll kiss and make up." Sofia blinked.

"What makes you think I want to kiss you?"

"Everybody wants to kiss a sexy blonde."

"Dyed."

"Welcome to the club."

"Haven't dyed my hair in a long time. The last time was late spring."

"Yeah you're getting gray…ouch….it's not my fault you're forty."

"You're not that far away from the forty yourself."

"Two and a half years."

"See, grandmother."

"You might lose your job before you started it."

"I haven't unpacked yet."

"Wait with it for a few weeks."

"I'll start today, get my clothes in the wardrobe."

"If you need anything in your room let me know. I want you to have everything you need."

"I've a job, I've a boss who doesn't call me a loose bullet, I'm fine. When will I have my days off?"

"The best question to start your job."

"Yes." Sara laughed. "I want to show you that you don't have to worry about me ending up in hospital again."

"Good to know."

"Why I ask, Jon wants to take me up to a lake with cabins. He said it's the spring and fall place for the overnight rides…and it would be a good opportunity to talk. Plenty of time and nobody will interrupt us."

"It should be soon then."

"We're fine…I mean, it's not like we can't stand being in the same room or can't work together. But…I don't know about him, I feel like I need a talk with him to get some things out of my head and out of our ways. I'm still not that comfortable around him than I used to be the first weeks."

"In that case you should join him tomorrow. He'll guide a group up there."

"You think I'm fit enough?"

"Do you still have a headache?" Sofia was immediately concerned. Sara hadn't mentioned any medical conditions. As far as Sofia knew her friend was alright, at least that what she had told her all the time. Was the headache back? Was the long drive too much for her? Maybe it was better when Sara rested a few more days.

"No, I'm fine. I talked about my riding skills."

"Caza will get you everywhere and you had a break of less than two months, you won't have forgotten everything you've learnt. I'll look at your riding today. After bringing the kids to kindergarten we can have a little ride."

"What's about working on the roof of the barn? Jon said there're a few holes."

"You don't have to start right away."

"Okay, we won't fight about that, let's find a compromise. I start working but not full eight hours. I'll get on the roof, look what I can do and if I can work on it, I'll start there. What's about my favorite job, cleaning the meadows? Will I get send to this job?"

"Yes."

"Good. I like it."

"And when you've enough of the roof we can work with Fortuna."

"I'm not on a sick leave, Sofia."

"No, you're on probation."

"Probation?"

"Yes, you piss me off I'll kick your ass." The blonde laughed. "Seriously Sara, I know you're not on a sick leave anymore, but I'd prefer that you start slowly. You want to work eight hours a day, that's fine with me but have plenty of breaks. Whenever you feel like having a coffee, come in and get a coffee. Jamie will not only provide breakfast, he'll make some lunch snacks, I hope you'll have your snack every day. Take half an hour in your room, on the veranda or wherever you want to sit and eat. No eating while you're working or skipping a meal for work. No more breakdowns, exhausting days or anything that isn't good for you."

"You're my boss not my nurse, you have to care for your worker."

"I care for my employees. When they're happy and healthy they do a better job."

"True."

"So, let me get this stuff and get ready for your first job. I know a boy who looks forward to be by your side when he walks to the kindergarten."

"My Kieran."

"I guess he's the happiest boy in town since you're back." Sofia took Sara's empty mug and got up. Time to get the dishes in the dish washer and start her day. Unfortunately it meant office work today. Not her favorite way to start the day.

* * *

"I think I'll have a sore backside when we're there." Sara whined. She wasn't used to ride this long anymore. The short ride yesterday didn't prepare her for this trip. She felt how her legs got sore and she had problems to sit comfortable.

"Want me to carry you back home?" Jon grinned.

"I might have to lie on Caza like a huge bag…oh dear I'll get seasick that way."

"We're almost there."

"You said that two hours ago."

"We had lunch two hours ago and will have dinner at the lake. Means we're close to our final destination. You can walk around, look for wood for the fire, cook and I take care of the horses."

"Why can't I take care of the horses?"

"You're the woman, you need to do the domestic things."

"Want a fight with me on our first trip together?"

"No, you've the gun."

"And I do know how to use it."

"I don't doubt that."

"Good. Enjoy cooking." She chuckled.

"Shouldn't I be your boss?"

"You're the son of my boss."

"That makes me a junior boss."

"No, that makes you another employee."

"I can see why you had trouble with your boss in Vegas. You talked to him like that he must be happy you're gone."

"Ecklie and me had worse conversations. He'd consider this one as a friendly talk." There had never been a friendly talk between her and Ecklie. There had been fights and talks that were close to fights and not ended up in fights because both to hold back.

"Oh mom, what did you get us here?"

"Hey." Sara slapped him.

"Don't slap the son of your boss."

"I'd kick his ass but he sits on it."

"Try it later and you'll regret it."

"Sounds like you dare me…"

"Never."

"Uh-huh." Sara eyed him. The youth of today was very cheeky.

"Are you done with unpacking?" Jon changed the topic.

"Not really. I've my clothes in the wardrobe, some books on the shelves but there're some boxes left."

"Is there enough space in the room?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

"Good. Otherwise you can leave some things on the attic."

"No I should be fine. All I need are some nails for my pictures I got when I left here."

"Kieran will give you more pictures, no need to put them on your wall."

"I'll get a pin board and have them there. He can replace them whenever he wants me to have a new one. But I'll keep the first one, it's a special one."

"You're sentimental."

"Bite me." She wasn't sentimental she was…okay, maybe she was sentimental when it came to Kieran. But she was sure it was good for him when he saw that adults respect his work, worth ship it and paid attention to it. Cat had told her nobody paid attention to her pictures when she was a child, in foster care they told her it was a waste of time, only when she got adopted by Sofia and the blonde found a picture Cat had drew she got the first time positive attention for her skills. Sofia didn't tell her it was a waste of time, she didn't tell her it was worthless. Seeing how embarrassed Cat was and how she tried to hide her skill and love of drawing, Sofia bought her a canvass and good paint, left it in Cat's room without more words. One week later there was a pictures of the ranch in Cat's room that was now hanging in the living room. A lot of more pictures followed, some of them hung in the ranch, some in the bungalows, some were stored in an extra room but Cat could and did draw whenever she felt like it.

"Maybe later, first I'll have dinner."

"After you cooked it."

"You're stubborn, Sara."

"Your mother didn't tell you?"

"No, she told me only good things about you. I need a serious talk with her. She forgot some important details about you."

"Yeah she didn't tell me everything about you either."

"What would you like to know, Sara?"

"Something positive about you – if there is anything positive about you." Sara grinned.

"I've a son called Kieran."

"He is positive, he's adorable."

"He was so happy when you brought him to kindergarten and waited for him in the afternoon. He couldn't stop grinning."

"Yeah. He tried to talk me into doing that every day I told him the detective wants me to work on the ranch. He needs to go with a civilian."

"It's not like she's any civilian, she's his aunt."

"That's what I said but he wasn't happy with that."

"He wants you."

"I'll try to be there as often as possible."

"A babysitter and not a stable-girl?"

"Both. But no housewife, that's your part, daddy."

"I don't mind." He laughed.


	43. Chapter 43

"There was a Greg on the phone, he wanted to talk Sara." Cat came in the office.

"Oh."

"A boyfriend?"

"Her best friend in Vegas."

"Oh."

"No lover, no admire, no gossip."

"Boring. What is with her husband?"

"He hasn't called. She sent him is ring a month ago and he doesn't react in any way. I wonder if he tries to reach her in Vegas…after a few calls he should be smart enough to try the cell phone."

"Men are not smart."

"What did Dan do?" This comment was enough for Sofia to know her daughter and Dan had a fight. Sofia was surprised that it hadn't happened before. The whole summer the young couple was happy, then Dan left to go to college, Cat was fine, had visit him once and Dan came back to Alice Town as often as possible. Nevertheless, they had a long distance relationship and that was even harder when you were sixteen and eighteen.

"He didn't call."

"You called him?"

"No! It was his turn. He'll come home this weekend and if he doesn't call until then I won't visit him."

"You're stubborn."

"I'm right."

Sofia grinned. Her daughter was stubborn and unforgiving. She sounded so much like herself when she was in Cat's age. It was amazing, Sofia sometimes thought Cat was her real daughter. No, not real daughter, Cat was her real daughter. They didn't share DNA but that didn't mean they weren't real mother and real daughter. Who cared about DNA if the rest was there? The feeling between them was more important than any DNA. You didn't get emotional closeness with DNA.

"Don't look at me like that, mom."

"Sorry Honey, I just thought you're so much like I was when I was your age…god I feel so old when I say 'when I was your age', no wonder I'm a grandmother, I'm old."

"A hot grandmother." Cat sat on Sofia's lap and laid her head on her mother's shoulder.

"Still a grandmother."

"Mhm, you know when you came to my high school last week to get me home, there were some guys who wanted to be in my shoes. And when Dan had this fight with one of his guys it was because he suggested to Dan to go after you when I'm away on an overnight ride. You're worth a sin or two they said."

"Blonde will always give men some fantasies. I should change back to brunette."

"No, not because of the guys." Cat took some of Sofia's hair in her hand and twisted it. "I think this color suits you."

"Aren't we women stupid to think so much about how men see us, how we can make ourselves more attractive for them? Most of the men are not worth all these thoughts."

"That's why I said don't change your hair color because of the guys. Stay with the color you like most. Any man worth it will love you with blonde, brunette or black hair."

"These are things I should tell you."

"You tell me other important things."

"Good."

"That reminds me, I made a decision what I want to draw on the huge canvass."

"What?"

"Kirundi, Xin, Libertad and Espérance. I'll try to get them together in front of the sunset tonight, take a few photos of that and draw it. With ranch in the back. Do you want that in our living room?"

"Don't you want that in your own room?"

"No it's too big for my room. Our horses belong in the living room if I can draw them alright."

"They'll look beautiful as does everything you draw. You're sure you want to be a vet?"

"Yes." Cat laughed. "I am. I want to help animals so I can draw them healthy and happy on a meadow full of blossoms. I promise I won't waste my talent. I can draw my boyfriends when I'm on college and at university and send you their portraits."

"I thought you don't want to waste your talent."

"Mom!"

"What? A mother doesn't want to hear things like boyfriends. The plural is disturbing for me. One boyfriend you'll love and worth ship for the rest of your life, who'll make you happy and anticipates every wish of you."

"I hate to rub salt in your wounds but you're not married since twenty years…what does your mother say?"

"You know what she says. She gave up on me."

"She still loves you."

"Yes. But I'm hopeless when it comes to men."

"Most times you look happy anyway."

"I am happy, I've four great children and a rookie. That's more than I've ever dared to dream of."

"With that rookie it's time for a son in law…daughter in law…"

"Daughter in law, you can leave that to your oldest brother if he ever gets interested in girls again. He doesn't care for all your girlfriends and I see that some of them try to get his attention."

"Yeah but they're too young, he wants somebody who can be a mother to Kieran and none of my friends wants to spend her weekends at home, taking care of a young boy, we want party and fun."

"Add his past to this and no girl is seriously interested in him. Sometimes I wonder if the life wouldn't be easier for you all in a big city. Nobody cares there where you from, about your past."

"People don't care about you there at all. I doubt one of us wants to live in a city. Do you miss living in a city?"

"Sometimes. The variety is bigger but here is less stress, less violence and more space. I didn't regret to come here. I can breathe here."

"It's a little paradise. But knowing our books I think we need to change some things next year, we need more money."

"Tell me about it. Any ideas?"

"More guests?"

"Sara said the same in summer."

"Did she have any ideas?"

"Yes, she said she should offer a kind of Native American camp. Half a dozen tents this way we can offer holidays as 'cowboys' or 'Native Americans'."

"We need some bathrooms for them."

"Yes, we need to build a shed with bathrooms. How many people do you think we can accommodate this way?"

"Think family style…a typical American family, mom, dad, two children. A tent for four, you must be able to lock it for security reasons, maybe some locker in this building for credit card or passport. Twenty-four more guests would bring some good money."

"And a lot of work."

"We've a new worker."

"Jamie will need an extra help. Twenty-four in tents and around ten in the bungalows. That is a lot. I think I don't want more than twenty people here. But if the rest of you thinks twenty-four people more is good we can arrange that."

"We'll call a family meeting in for that. Fact is more guests will bring more money. More money means we can keep the ranch and help more animals."

"You're a business woman."

"Money makes dreams come true. It will take a few years before I'm a vet and can earn money for the farm, Jon and Jamie wants to stay here and help, Sara is here too but you need to pay her. Having somebody here who brings in money that has nothing to do with the ranch will help."

"You should keep your money to yourself, you work for it."

"Like you spend no cent on your children? I know you got us adopted for free, didn't buy anything for us, let us work for food, clothes and accommodation. You never did anything for free for us." Cat smiled.

"That's something different." Sofia tried to argue knowing her daughter wouldn't give in. She was stubborn as Sofia had been when she was young…okay, she was still stubborn.

"Don't try it mom, you'll lose."

"I know. As I said you're too much like I was."

"That's one of the nicest things somebody ever said to me."

"I love you, Cat."

"Love you too mom." Cat snuggled in Sofia's arms. "We'll find a solution for all problems. As long as we all work together there's nothing that we can't do."

"I know. Family power." Family power was the best thing Sofia ever experienced. Her family was all that count and all she cared of. And family wasn't about blood and DNA, family was about feelings and love.

* * *

"Are the horses alright outside?" Sara looked out of the window. She had a hot shower and felt guilty for the horses, that were outside, in a shed that was open to one side and not warm. If there was rain they would be dry but it was cold.

"They are outside every night, they're used to it. No need to worry. I'll have a shower." Jon got up from the sofa. They had two cabins, one big one for the guests and a small one for themselves. Most of the guests were inside, the long ride tired them and all they wanted was to sleep. Only two were outside, smoking and drinking some beer.

Sara kept an eye on them. So far they seemed to be responsible and threw their cigarette butts in the steel bucket next to their cabin and they shared a six pack of beer, nothing that should make them drunk. It was a young group, six people from work. They were from a small computer company and their company had made so much money last year that their boss paid a week holidays for all of his employees. He had thirty and send six of them away each week so that there were enough people to work and keep the company running. Sara liked that, she wished there were more employer like this one. This group wanted horse riding, another group got a week climbing, a third one had surf lessons in San Diego, their boss had made them ten offers, five got chosen.

She couldn't complain about her new boss. So far Sofia had made Sara her own decision what she wanted to do when and how long. There was a list in the living room with things that need to be done, the things they had to do daily didn't need to be mention, they talked about that in the morning, organized who did was. There was no force, no drill.

"Thanks for leaving some hot water for me."

"Huh? Did I use it all?" Sara turned. Jon was back, towel wrapped around his waist.

"No, I said thanks for leaving it."

"Most times people say that when they don't mean it."

"Usually I mean what I say. So when I say I hate my underwear because it's like always on the bottom of the bag I mean it that way." He started to throw all his things on the floor.

"No matter if it's underwear or anything else, whatever you look for is always on the ground. Murphy's law."

"Somebody should make Mister Murphy to change his law. Hah!" He got his underwear out of the bag. "Little fucker."

"Language please."

"Sorry."

"Where did you get the scar from?" Sara looked at the scar, It was a long one, from one side of his chest to the other.

"Street meeting."

"You had a fight?"

"Kind of. This guy wanted to have my wallet and my guts. I tried to safe both. If the cut had been deeper I wouldn't be here today. I bled like hell but survived."

"Looks nasty." Sara stepped closer and lifted her hand. "May I?"

"Sure. It doesn't hurt."

"Good." She touched the scar carefully. She had some of her own, memories of the past, her childhood. None was so big like this one but they were there and made that she didn't like wearing a bikini.

"In the beginning I could feel when the weather was about to change, now, five years later, it just looks ugly. But as long as I wear t-shirts and don't walk around half naked, nobody sees it."

"Scars make men look dangerous and interesting, they make women ugly."

"Why do negative things are on men positive and only on women negative?"

"That's the life."

"Nonsense."

"Most rules are nonsense."

"Mhm." Jon stroke his finger over Sara's cheek, who was still running her finger over his scar like she could make it disappear this way. Softly he lifted her chin, bent down and kissed her gently. And Sara responded the kiss.

A second later her alarm bells rang. What was she doing here? This was wrong!

"Jon, we can't…" She moved an inch away, but stayed close enough in case she changed her mind again.

"Sara, you owe me a favor, remember." He whispered.

"Yes."

"I'd like to have another kiss."

It was wrong, she knew but she obeyed. This couldn't be right, it could be only wrong, totally wrong. She kissed Jon, what was…he was Sofia's son. She couldn't kiss Sofia's son, that was wrong. She was twice his age, she wasn't even officially divorced.

Weren't they suppose to talk? To get the tension between them out of the world? This way they made it worse, they did exactly the opposite of what they wanted to do here. And they didn't stop, none of them broke the kiss. Sara hadn't the power to do that again, it was hard enough to stop it the first time, now there was no energy left. She let Jon pull her on the couch without losing contact to his lips.

Slowly they kissed, his tongue got access to her mouth, explored her mouth while her tongue stroke his and demanded access to his mouth itself. It felt good, she had no idea how much she had missed to kiss, to be kissed. There was passion, there was lust and there was trust. When she forgot all the reasons why this was wrong she enjoyed it. All she had to do was not thinking with her head.

"This is…we need to stop this." Sara gasped between the kisses but didn't stop kissing Jon.

"I know…it's hot and it has to stop…but it's so hard to stop this."

"That isn't the only things that's hard." Sara grinned.

"And not the only thing that's hot." He got his hands under her shirt. How was she suppose to stop this when she enjoyed it so much?


	44. Chapter 44

"Sofia will kill me." Sara sighed.

"She might chase you from the ranch, together with me. Any idea where we should go to? Where would you like to be?" Jon kissed Sara's shoulder and pulled her closer in his arms. What an evening. This wasn't planed, they wanted to talk about the kiss that had happened accidentally the night Lucky was born, it had messed up their relationship and they wanted the old good feeling back. Now they had something else going on.

"Actually I like it here."

"We won't tell her?"

"I don't have any problems not to tell the mother of the guy I…actually we didn't really sleep with each other. According to one of our old presidents we didn't have sex."

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Good old Bill. I'm sure if we tell mom what we had she won't agree with Billy Boy."

"She'll kill me."

"You don't have to talk about your sex life with the mother of your lover, but women do talk about their sex life with their girl friends. Unfortunately mom is your friend, you need to lie to your friend."

"If I don't say a word because she didn't ask it's not lying, is it?"

"Uhm…no…not if you see it like a lawyer. Morally it's a lie."

"Who cares about the moral?"

"Nobody anymore."

"We're not suppose to be naked in bed."

"Says who?"

"I am twice your age, Jon. I'm older than your mother, it's not right this way."

"It's wrong because of the age?" He furrowed his brows.

"No…yes…no…you need somebody young in your life." So yes, it was about the age. But hell, it was a big difference. It could be only wrong, it couldn't work. How was this suppose to work? She forty, he twenty-one. It couldn't work, could it?

"Says who?"

"It's just…don't make it so complicated."

"Sara, I don't make anything complicated, you worry about everything." He did too but he didn't want to say it. One of them had to see the good sides of this and he saw more good sides than bad sides. It wasn't bad, it wasn't wrong, it was unusual and unusual wasn't wrong or bad it was special. Every love should be special.

"Maybe because I can't see it as…I don't know? One-night-stand? Affair? Slip?"

"You think I do?"

"I don't know…do you?"

"It's good you're a CSI and not a detective. I'm sure you're perfect in reading evidence but reading people isn't your strength, isn't?"

"You're not that nice anymore."

"Means I'm right. Sara, I don't plan to play with you or use you for some fun while we're on an overnight trip. If I'd do that you'd kill me and what would be left of me mom would kill. And I'd deserve it."

"Do you think we can make this work out?"

"We'll only know if we try, don't you think?"

"Yes." She hated to admit it but he was right. Did she want it to work out? She wasn't sure, she wasn't sure about anything right now. Only that it felt so good to be in his arms and feel his lips all over her body. Could something that felt so good be bad?

* * *

Sara felt like she was on her way to execution. Back after the overnight ride, after the night with Jon, the brunette had waited until after dinner, when Sofia was in her room to talk to her. It might be not the best time to talk to her friend, but she couldn't wait for a better time. If there ever was a good time.

The blonde was in bed, having a book in her hands. She called Sara in after she heard her knocking.

"Hey, do you have a second?"

"Want a whole minute?" Sofia asked back with a smile. She clapped on the blanket to make Sara sit.

The brunette wasn't sure if she wasn't better off standing here at the door, with some safety space between her and Sofia. If the blonde would throw something she had a chance to bent, if the blonde jumped out of her bed to slap her, she had the advance of two or three yards to run and lock herself in the next room. Stupid thoughts but they were inside Sara's head.

"Yes." Slowly she walked closer to Sofia, avoiding to sit.

"What's wrong, Sara? Have a seat, no need to stand around."

"No…I think I better stand…"

"Anything wrong?"

"No…yes…no…I don't know."

"What happened? Is anything wrong? Is it the new job? The new life? Did you realize you don't want to be here, want to be in Vegas or anywhere else to work as a CSI?"

"No!" She was happy here, the question was, how long would Sofia be happy to have her around? Sofia would regret that she worried about Sara within the next few seconds. She would regret that she allowed Sara to live and work here. She would regret that she ever called Sara a friend.

"But?"

"It could be that you don't want me here anymore."

"I really doubt that. Why would I want you to leave?"

Okay, she had no other choice than telling the blonde the truth.

"Sara?" Sofia had closed her book and sat up. She felt something was going on, something was wrong.

"I…" She wanted to say she was sorry but realized she wasn't sorry. Not in the way she was suppose to be sorry. "You'll hate me."

"I really doubt that too. Why don't you tell me what's up? Anything happened on your trip? Anything bad?"

"Kind of."

"Are you injured?"

"No." God, Sofia worried about her, that would make her even more mad.

"Sara, what is wrong? Why do you think I'll chase you away? That I'll hate you? I can't imagine there'll be reason to do so."

"Sometimes things happen you can't imagine." Hell, Sara didn't imagine that something could happen between her and Jon and it did happen.

"Like what?" Sofia was about to get out of her bed, Sara stepped back, almost out of the room. She had the door handle in her hand. Sofia stopped and looked confused and surprised at her friend.

"Are you scared of me?"

"Yes."

"Sara…I…I would never…" Sofia had no idea what to say. Why was Sara scared? Did she do anything bad to the brunette to make her feel like that?

"Sorry." Sara had to leave her safe place and go to Sofia. She didn't intend to hurt her friend, to make her feel bad. "You didn't do anything wrong." Carefully she took Sofia in her arms. This wasn't good.

"But you were about to run away from me."

"Because I'm stupid."

"Please tell me what is wrong, Sara. Did I do anything wrong?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me."

"What did you do?"

"I…you'll hate me for it…"

"Sara, I won't hate you."

"You don't know what I did."

"Tell me. Please."

"I had…we…I had kind of sex with…Jon." Sara closed her eyes and waited for Sofia to slap her, push her away, yell at her, tell her to leave the house, the ranch, her life. Anything that would make sure how angry, mad and disappointed Sofia was.

"How can you have kind of sex with somebody?" Sofia's voice wasn't filled with anger or hate. It was interested and surprised.

"Okay, it's not kind of sex, there's not such a thing like kind of sex…I talk bullshit again, sorry."

"I guess not. You have sex or you don't have sex."

"Sofia, you should be mad."

"Why?"

"I had sex with Jon."

"Do you expect me to tell you to leave because of that?"

"Yes."

"Sara, you're both adults…"

"He's your son."

"Yes and as a mom I'm not amused…or I'm not sure what I am. As your friend, what I also am, I wonder why you think I'll hate you."

"You can't be happy about that."

"Not?" Sofia pulled Sara on her bed, embraced her. "Why?"

"You're more his mother than my friend."

"I am? I never thought of a difference, I saw myself as both."

"Why aren't you mad?"

"First of all it won't change anything because it happened already. Second it's not my business with whom you or Jon have sex. Third there was a tension between you and him the whole time. Add to that I knew after a few weeks that my oldest son has more than a weak spot for you, it was obvious for me as his mother, that he was attracted to you. You on the other hand were too busy to sort out your life, to find out if you still loved Grissom, what you wanted and didn't realize his feelings."

"Knowing Grissom and me will get divorced, knowing Jon missing me and why he did so, why did you say 'yes' when I asked you if I can live and work here?"

"Who am I to say so?"

"His mother."

"And as his mother I want him happy. Who am I to say you can't make him happy? Ninety percent of all relationships end up in broken hearts and chaos, ten percent make two people happy for the rest of their life. It's not like you want to hurt him, want to use him. And he missed you big time, he was happy with you around. He needs somebody in his life who doesn't care about his past, who doesn't reproaches him with his past and the mistakes he might have done. He needs somebody who likes Kieran and who Kieran likes. This boy loves you, you love him and enjoy spending time with him.

You need somebody who appreciates you, who pays attention to you, who cares for you and won't make you feel worthless like Grissom did. Jon can do that, he cares, he pays attention and he would never leave you alone for a job. Family is the most important thing for him and I think you turned from a workaholic to somebody who wants to have more family time, a private life. From this point of view there's no good reason why I don't want you and him together."

"Is there another point of view?"

"The mother who gets a nervous breakdown. Not only my youngest child is younger than my grandchild, my son's girlfriend is twice his age and older than I am. Add to that I'm not forty yet and my family life is a mess."

"I told him we can't do that because I'm twice his age."

"And? Grissom isn't your age either. Why is it okay when the man is twenty years older but it's a disaster when the woman is twenty years older? That's not fair and I'm sure this stupid rule was made by men who wanted young woman by their side and don't want woman to enjoy their life."

"Grissom isn't twenty years older."

"Eighteen or seventeen, who cares? You're not twice Jon's age. Eighteen and a half years." The age difference between Sara and Jon wasn't much bigger than between Sara and Grissom, only the other way around. So if one was alright, there wasn't a reason in Sofia's eyes why the other way was wrong.

"You don't hate me? You're alright with that?"

"I don't hate you, Sara, there's no reason to hate you and I really hope I won't be a grandmother again before I'm forty."

"I told you we didn't have real sex."

"And then you said there's not such a thing like not real sex."

"You're his mother so I won't give you details…"

"Even as your friend I don't want details…I think…or it's the mother again that yells: stop her! Make her shut up!"

Sara laughed. Sofia reacted cool, she didn't scream, she didn't yell. Now Sara felt sorry for not trusting her friend and scaring her at the beginning of their conversation.

"And you're both old enough to know how safe sex works."

"Are you having condoms with you when you have an overnight ride?"

"No, I…I'm not sure if that isn't too much details already. If you're pregnant…"

"I am not pregnant."

"You better are not, Sara. One rookie is enough. For the next ten years."

"I don't plan to get pregnant. I'm too old for that."

"Nonsense."

"I'm forty."

"A lot of women become pregnant after they're forty…no, you're right, you're too old when I think of it…no more rookies…much too old!" What a dilemma. She didn't want to tell Sara she was old but she also didn't want her to become pregnant. Not now. Not within the next…lets say years.

"Thanks." Sara poked Sofia. She had no idea what to do, what would happen between her and Jon, she guessed she had to wait what would happen and take everything step by step. Right now there was nothing she could do. Nothing than being happy that Sofia didn't hate her and still wanted her to be around.


	45. Chapter 45

"Jon, I think we need to talk!"

These seven words were enough to make Jon understand what Sara meant when she said, she's afraid Sofia wants to kill her. He hadn't seen Sara today now that he thought of that. He had slept in and went straight to Alice Town, taking Kieran and Pat to the kindergarten because Cat had to start later school today.

Being back and ready to get started with his work, his mother had the advantage of the surprise when she called out his name. He secured the saddle on Xin. He was about to start the fences around the ranch. In the afternoon he would start with the meadows up the hills. The first snow was likely to arrive soon.

"Okay."

"You and Sara."

"Aren't you suppose to test the water first? If I don't want to talk to you myself? I mean isn't there a kind of mother rule that says wait until your child wants to talk or give it the chance to start the topic itself. This straight forward is scary and makes children to shut up and close so you won't get anything."

"You're twenty-one, there is no child bonus anymore. I can treat you like an adult after you behave like one…or more like a teenager?"

"Like an adult." He smiled.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. Come on, we can ride along the fences while we talk. Get your horse here."

Sofia eyed her son but whistled so that Kirundi came to her. Without a saddle or rein she jumped on the back of her horse and waited for Jon to get on Xin. Without words they rode the first hundred yards.

"Are you mad?" Jon asked.

"Do I have a reason to be mad?"

"When you great me with the words: 'Jon I think we need to talk' it sounds like I'm in trouble and you're mad. To answer your question if you have a reason to be mad. I guess Sara talked to you yesterday and I doubt you talked about the weather."

"I'm only your mother but tell me how you can have 'a kind of sex' with my best friend?"

"Is the question leaning towards the sex or your best friend?"

"Don't be a smart ass, son." He answered her in a way she would have answered her parents. Was it her past now to ask if he had no respect to the older ones?

"Somebody says I'm that smug because I got that from my mother, a smug blonde."

"You're not making yourself popular."

"I'm afraid I don't. I won't tell you what exactly happened between Sara and me, you won't become a grandmother again anytime soon – not as far as I'm involved I've no idea about the others…"

"I worry about you, not the others."

"Thought so. I'm the problem child."

"First of all you're not a child and second don't say stupid things like that. Problem child. I don't have problem children, I've great children." Sofia grumbled. If anybody called her children problems it was herself and she would hate herself in case she ever said that.

"You know I like Sara."

"Yes I knew that the whole summer. It was obvious."

"And you got her back, told her she's welcome here."

"She is. You are happy, so are Cat, Jamie and the kids. And yes, I'm happy she's here."

"No matter what happened between her and me?"

"Eighteen years are not a little gap, no need to ignore that. I am one of these people who don't think age is the most important thing between two people. I don't know what you and her have planed…"

"Nothing. We barely talked. This was a surprise for ourselves. We didn't plan that, hell no. I can't tell you what will happen next…"

"Don't play with her, Jon. I know I'm suppose to support you, threaten her, I'm your mother, I've to fight for my baby, but don't play with her. She can't handle a second disappointment after Grissom's behave. And I think you're not that kind of man who looks for some fun regardless what it costs and goes on. She's vulnerable."

"I don't plan to hurt her. I like her, I wanted not to like her after all I knew how she treated you in the beginning, it wasn't possible. And it would have been ridiculous because you became a kind of friends, worked together good and something must have told you that you'll go along good when she appeared here, you took her into the house. And she was nice to you, she was good for you and I liked her way. I'm afraid this won't make life easier but I want to give it a try. You never know if it works out but if this works out it could make her, me and Kieran happy."

"I'll ask this question only one time and only because I have to ask it as a mother and not because I really think what I ask: do you do this to get a mother for your son?"

"No."

"Thought so."

"Mom, I think it can work out. I'm not sure how exactly but it can work out. I need to talk to Sara, we haven't really talked since that night, you know an overnight trip is kind of busy and when we came back here…she wanted to talk to you first. She didn't want you to find out about us accidentally. She worried about what you'll say and do the whole time, it's really important to her that you're cool with us. Same for me. If you really can't see anything good in Sara and me we need to find a way that makes none of us unhappy."

"I'd be a bad mother if I tell you to ignore your feelings and I'd be a bad friend if I send Sara away so you and her can't see each other anymore. I want you to be happy, I want you to trust me, to come to me and talk to me. If I want you to do these things I need to act smart and not overreact. Besides that I'm not exactly a person who can raise her finger and tell you how to find your love and who isn't worth trying. The last time I checked I was still single and not married since twenty years."

"Not your fault when there are only idiots running around. A smart man would give you everything to keep you."

"Maybe we'll have a smart man one day as a guest."

"Some guests are special." Jon smiled.

"Yes. Don't you have any older friends from your past who wants to learn how to ride?"

"Why older? Same age. There's only a sixteen years gap."

"Only? Call me old-fashioned it sounds a lot to me. On the other hand, a young and hot lover could be nice…I shouldn't say things like that when my child is around."

"Your child is twenty-one."

"Doesn't matter."

"Does that mean you can accept this relationship?"

"Yes."

"But you're not happy about it."

"I'm not sure about it, I hope it will work out and I want to support both of you." That was all Sofia could offer the moment. She was sure when she got used the thought of her son and her friend being lovers. She had to find out for herself first before she could promise something she wasn't able to keep. One minute she was happy that it looked like Jon had found somebody who didn't judge him for his past, who wasn't interested in a short affair, who liked Kieran and didn't see the boy as something annoying you had to live with. Same for Sara, who seemed to have found somebody who cared how she felt, who wanted to spend time with her and was emotional available. Then Sofia thought, they were too different, their age difference was too big, it couldn't work out like this. How was a twenty-one year old man and a forty years old woman suppose to have something in common? Something, that could last for longer. It wasn't easy for Sofia to be happy with this relationship but she couldn't say she disagreed on it. It looked like she had to live being torn apart between happiness and rejection.

* * *

"If I wouldn't know it better I'd say you're trying to avoid me." Jon stepped behind Sara who was leaning on a bench and watching the horses. She had finish her practice with Fortuna today, her mare walked without problems next to her, wearing her saddle and rein. Sara had started to train her to listen to the commands, to walk, trot and canter. So far they had tried walk and trot and would keep on doing this for the rest of the week.

"I don't."

"I don't hope so." He put his hand on her arm. "How is Fortuna doing?"

"Good. She has no problem with the saddle or the rein. We started with the commands to walk and trot, I think when we're done with this I'll bit fit. Lucky joins us most times I think he'll know all these commands in a few weeks and don't have to learn them later."

"That helps when you break him in."

"Me?"

"Three years from now, Sara, you'll be perfect on the horse and can break him in."

"I'm not sure about that."

"We won't let you do it alone but you can do the main part of it."

"You think I'll still be here in three years?" She smiled. It wasn't a question about the horses and the work, it was about them.

"I hope so." Jon understood exactly what she was talking about.

"I'll think about it, depends on how you treat me."

"How would you like me to treat you?" Jon pulled her in his arm and kissed her hair. He didn't want to have a distance between them, he wanted her close to him.

"What about breakfast in bed? Every day."

"That's a tough one but if I've to do that to make you stay I'll do it."

"Really?"

"Yes. You need to treat your lady good otherwise you're not worth to be her man."

"Did your mother teach you that?"

"She mentioned things like that, yes."

"Smart woman."

"Definitely." He bent down and kissed her lips softly. She didn't try to move away, she kissed him back. A kind of relief ran through his body, together with happiness and this feeling of having a million butterflies in your belly. It felt right to him and he hoped it felt right to her too.

"I missed you today checking on the fences."

"I helped Jamie with the bungalows, there are six people coming in tomorrow. The ranch will be full for Halloween."

"There'll be a huge Halloween dinner."

"Mhm, Jamie will prepare some vegetarian food for me." She snuggled in his arms. It felt good, no matter how many arguments she had found why she and Jon should not be together. She had really tried to focus on them but the arguments to give them a try were too strong and when she was honest to herself and didn't think only with her head, she wanted to be with Jon. Her heart was very clear about that. Maybe it was better to listen to your heart every now and then.

"Of course he will. Do I have to worry you'll leave me for my brother because he is such a good chef?"

"No, I might leave you for him because he's younger but not because of the food." She kissed him with a smirk. If they could make jokes about their age difference it might be easier to see it not as a problem.

"Am I too old for you?"

"In a few years. I think twenty-one is a nice age for my lovers."

"Is it? Two days and you think of betraying me, little bitch." He kissed her and nibbled on her bottom lip. "You'll pay for that."

"Really? Are you threatening me?"

"Worse, I promise."

"Get your hands off my friend!" Sofia came accompanied with Churchill to them. She had seen them, she had felt something like happiness and rejection at the same time. First she wanted to turn and walk away, a little voice in her head told her, walking away wouldn't solve a problem, it would create them. She had to live with the fact her son and her friend had feelings for each other and she would see them kissing.

"You mean, she's suppose to get her hands of your son, mom." Jon corrected without letting Sara out of his arms.

"No I mean get your hands off my friend. You might have planed a long evening with her, forget it boy, you'll have a long evening but with work. I'll take this woman with me, we'll have dinner in town. Women only."

"Are you taking her out so she can't be with me?" Jon cocked his head.

"Don't be cheeky."

"I'm not cheeky I'm right. You're jealous."

"Careful boy."

"I won't let you take my girlfriend away."

"Ask her, she might want to come with me."

"Sara?"

"You're both weird. Why do you want to have dinner with me in town, Sofia?"

"I need to talk to you without the children around."

"And we can't do that here? In the office or in your room?"

"No, these little bastards have damn good ears. And we don't get tiramisu here."

"Tiramisu? Let's go and have dinner together." Of course Sara wanted to spend time with Jon but she knew, at the moment it was important to spend time with Sofia too. It wasn't easy for the blonde to see her friend and her son together, it wasn't easy for her to be happy for them, Sara wanted Sofia to be alright with her and Jon.

"Why is it that women forget their men when there're sweets around?"

"Because sweets are always sweet and make you happy, you can't say that about men." Sara kissed Jon. "We'll be back around ten, you think you'll be awake that time?"

"I will. I'll sit on my bed and cry because I miss you so much."

"I doubt that. Want me to come along?"

"I want you to stay in my bed the whole night and not come along for a short visit."

"You said that as a payback!" Sofia stabbed Jon with her index finger. This fight between mother and friend was always in her and when Jon said things like this, mother had the upper hand.

"Can't handle the thought of your son and your friend having sex in your house, mom?" He grinned wide. Yes he said it as a payback and now that Sofia took the bite he had to tease her a little bit more.

"As long as I won't be a grandmother again anytime soon."

"I'll make sure that won't happen." Sara smiled. "Be nice to your mom, she's my best friend. Don't tease her too much."

"Are you both against me?"

"Women stick together against men, it has always been like this and it will always be like this. Get use to it." Sara kissed Jon again. "I'll see you later, don't fall asleep without me in your arms. Come on Sofia, I can hear the tiramisu calling me."

"She can't take you away every night, one evening we'll spend time together"

"What about tomorrow?" Sara turned around while she walked away with Sofia.

"Sounds good to me."

"Sounds like we'll have a date." She blinked at him and tried not to scream when Sofia pinched her.


	46. Chapter 46

Is he right?"

"Huh?" Sofia looked up. She had been concentrating on her menu and didn't hear the first part of Sara's question.

"Jon. Accusing you of trying to keep me away from him."

"Do I have to answer that?" Sofia furrowed her brows.

"No." Sara moved from her place to the empty space next to Sofia. They had found a table with a bench, much more comfortable than chairs.

"Can I ask you what you thought when you saw Jon and me kissing today? Honest answer, please."

"There were some things on my mind. From 'that's wrong, he's my son she can't kiss him' over 'aww, they are so cute' to 'I hope it will work out and they won't get hurt'. I'm skeptical yes, but I'm skeptical every time. Probably because I'm a single and not married since twenty years, happy and live in a perfect relationship. I got hurt or disappointed all the time and I don't want my son or my best friend to experience the same feelings."

"There's no guarantee. Never. No matter if you're the same age, have the same job, come from the same town, have the same hobbies."

"No there isn't."

"Sofia…"

"Sara, it's alright. I mean it wasn't what I had in mind for Jon but I've to say, I'm proud my son has such a good taste. I mean there are enough girls here who wouldn't mind having some fun with him and a lot of young men don't care for more than their fun. Jon never wasted a second on them, he didn't care for their offers. He didn't want a cheap girl with no brain, he wants a woman. That means he wants somebody with a brain, a soul and a life. If I think of what kind of woman I want by his side, I end up with you. We won't look at the age gap, it's there, it's big, it's unusual but unusual doesn't mean it's bad. Unusual can be good and very interesting. You are the woman I want for my son, Sara. That's the point and that's the thing that counts; as far as it counts what I want. He has to be happy in the first place, not me."

"But you are happy."

"Yes. You're not that bitchy anymore and he can teach some manners so you'll…ouch, don't pinch me."

"Payback. You started that on the ranch."

"You deserved it."

"Ditto."

"Will there ever be a day we don't fight?" The blonde asked laughing.

"Why? We enjoy this kind of little fights too much. Otherwise we had stopped them a long time ago."

"I guess you're right." Sofia laid her head on Sara's shoulder. "I'm glad you're here. And I don't mean here like here with me and away from Jon, I mean here like here with all of us."

"I know what you mean. You know, now I realized why I worried so much about you when you were on the job. I worried about my mother-in-law."

"One more comment like that and I'll kill you with whatever I'll get into my hands and if I can't get anything I'll kill you with my bare hands."

"You want Jon and me to live together in sin?"

"You sinned already."

"Depends on what you call a sin and how you call what we did."

"No details! And what the hell do you mean with you worried about me when I was on the job? You were a CSI, you didn't care what I did."

"That's not true and you know it. I worried about you. I saw cops that got killed on the job, I watched Brass fighting for his life, I knew in what danger you lived every day. When we were at a scene, I had to protect the evidence, you had not only to protect the scene but also me as a CSI. It was my job to hide when somebody was shooting, it was your job to take a bullet for me to protect me."

"A bullet? For you? Never." Sofia got her arm around Sara and kissed her cheek.

"You would have done it."

"If it's my job…"

"All for the job."

"Yes…and my CSI. You were a pain in the ass, you were a bitch and you were the most complicated person I ever worked with."

"Thanks."

"I adopted three children, three quite old children, that and to work with you is proof enough that I like challenges and I can handle them."

"I think I deserve that but one day you don't have any credit left and we're even."

"One day…today is Wednesday and not one day."

"Why did I agree to come here with you?"

"You want tiramisu and you like me. You like me a lot, Sara Sidle. No need to argue or disagree I know it. I like you too so we're even." Sofia chuckled. At least they were even on one point.

* * *

After they had told Sofia about their relationship it was time to tell the rest of the family. They couldn't just go down, act like a couple without mention anything to the others. The breakfast was a good opportunity to do that. Everybody was at the table, no need to tell everybody separately.

And the fact that they came down the stairs together after everybody else was already at the table gave it a good start.

"You're late." Sofia simply said.

"Since when is it your job to wake Jon up?" Cat asked Sara. "I thought only the babies need help."

"Actually he woke me up." Sara smiled.

"How? Your room is down here, you're coming from upstairs."

"I did some morning exercise and climbed up the wall, into his window and came down this way. It's a new kind of workout."

"This kind of workout that requires you to vanish in his room late in the evening?" Jamie asked dryly.

"You want to tell them something new and these little spies know everything already." Jon sighed.

"What do you mean with know everything already?" Cat stopped eating.

"Sara spent the night with me in my room."

"Are you…?" Cat stared at Jon and Sara before her eyes moved over to her mother, who had vanished behind the morning newspaper.

"Mom?"

"Yes Honey?" Sofia put the newspaper aside.

"Did you hear that?"

"Sure I'm not deaf."

"You knew that?"

"Yes. They told me."

"When."

"Sara talked to me the day before yesterday, I talked to Jon yesterday."

"Why do you know and we didn't?"

"I'm the mother and the best friend."

"I'm the sister."

"We told you now."

"No, Jamie made you tell us."

"We wanted to tell you this morning."

"I can't believe it." Cat shook her head.

"Believe it, sister. It's true." He pulled Sara in his arms and kissed her shortly.

"Dad kisses Sara! Dad kisses Sara!" Kieran cheered. He had no idea what the adults were talking about but he saw what his father and Sara did and that was good. At least he liked it. They kissed like parents did.

"Yes Kieran, I like kissing Sara. Is that alright with you?"

"Sara mommy?"

"No, Sara isn't your mom." Jon held Sara's hand and bent down next to his son. "She can't be your mom, you haven't been in her belly. But she can be a kind of mom, like the detective is to me. You know I haven't been in her belly but she's my mom."

"No mom?" Kieran looked sadly at Sara.

"No, I'm not your mother, Kieran." Sara got down next to Jon and Kieran. "But I promise I'll be there for you, I'll bring you to the kindergarten and get you back home. Not every day but I'll do it. And I'll play with you, make sure you're alright and read you a story at night."

"Like a mom?"

"Yes, like a mom. Or like a really good friend."

"Mom."

"Okay, like a mom. That means whenever you're sad or have a problem you come to me, talk to me and I'll help you. Can you do that? Come to me and talk to me when you have a problem, when somebody is nasty to you."

"Yes."

"Good. You know the CSI helps the police so the police has to talk to the CSI about everything."

"Protect CSI."

"You can protect me best when you talk to me."

"Sara brings us to kindergarten?"

"Yes I can do that. And now eat your breakfast, you need energy for the day." She stroke his cheek.

"My brother and Sara." Jamie smiled a bit.

"Shocked?" Jon asked.

"Surprised. I mean, you and her…how did you manage to get such a smart woman? Sara, what do you want with a man like Jon? Don't you need somebody smarter? Like somebody who goes to college?"

Sara laughed while Jon eyed his brother.

"I think a diploma isn't the most important thing in life or a relationship."

"Not? Oh well, I'll remember that the next time I'm in Vegas."

"Mom, why do you give Dan a hard time and not Sara?" Cat complained not seriously.

"Because she's my best friend and she isn't such a pan…she a tough woman. And I've been nice to Dan lately."

"You didn't eye him like a suspect. If that's nice for you, yes, you're getting better."

"See."

"She isn't that relaxed." Jon told his sister. "Believe me. We got our trouble and I'm sure we'll get some more. She isn't done, she's just taking a break to get new power and give us a hard time again."

"She let you sleep in one room."

"I didn't know about that." Sofia tried to defense herself.

"You mean, they didn't tell you and that was why you could act like you had no idea about anything. That doesn't count, mom. You knew it."

"Sara's friend knew it but not Jon's mother. I try to keep that separated and when her friends finds something out, she can't tell the mother. Believe me, it's not easy to be me. A mother of three trouble maker. Only my baby is nice, he doesn't want to have relationships and he doesn't want to party the Strip. Patrick is a good boy, aren't you Pat?"

"Yes." Patrick smiled. He had not really any idea what was going on but he was a good boy, that was for sure.


	47. Chapter 47

**November**

It was the first ride Sara had guided alone. For two hours she and seven other were riding through the closer area of the ranch, through the snow. It had snowed the last night, around two inches fell on the ranch and made everything look white and shiny. Immediately Sara had worried about the horses, that they were cold and uncomfortable. Jon had to stop her from leaving the bed after midnight to go out and check. They had opened a part of the barn in the evening, the horses could go in whenever they felt like having a dry place. Because Sara worried about the cold wind they had built an extra wall last week, in a L shape that kept the wind away from blowing directly in the barn.

Now in daytime she saw the nice side of the weather. Riding through the snow was different than riding in summer. She had the feeling even the horses enjoyed the snow. The only downside was the cold wind. She needed a thick jumper under her jacket otherwise she'd freeze to death during the winter. After all these years in Vegas she wasn't used to such a cold weather anymore.

The guest must have thought the same as soon as they were back on the farm they vanished in their bungalows, leaving Sara with the horses alone. One saddle after the other she took down and hung it in the barn. A soft blanket would keep the horses warm for the time they stood there waiting for her to finish.

"And these are some of our horses." She heard Jamie's voice. He was showing the last guest for this week the place. The farm was fully booked, what meant a lot of work but also money. Sara had uploaded the information about the farm on some web pages. She had spent an evening in front of the computer to get them on as many web pages as possible.

"And one of our guides, Sara."

"Hi." She turned and almost stepped back. Her eyes must have play her a bad, bad joke, it couldn't be real what she saw.

"Hello Sara."

"You know each other?" Jamie was surprised. The guest hadn't mention he knew Sara or anybody else here.

"Yes." Sara had problems to talk.

"She's my wife."

"What?" Now Jamie was speechless too.

"Ex wife." Sara managed to say. What the hell was Grissom doing here? How did he find her? Why did he find her?

"We're not divorced yet."

"My lawyer is working on that."

"I told mine I don't agree."

"Why?"

"Why should I agree? I married you for a reason."

"I wonder what reason that was."

"I love you."

"Sure. A strange kind of love. You're working the whole time, you don't call, you don't visit me, you don't care when I'm in hospital, you don't come back to Vegas like we wanted to. I can see a lot of feelings in your behave towards me, but not love."

Jamie had moved himself next to Sara, almost touched her arm with his hand.

"Is it love for you to send the wedding ring back in a little parcel?"

"Well I thought flying to Paris to give you your ring was a little bit too much. And you don't have time anyway, why going through all these things? You're working sixteen hours, no matter if I'm there or not. I could have flew to Paris, leave the ring in front of your door and that's it. A waste of money and time, don't you think."

"I think you should change your mind."

"I won't."

"Sara…"

"Jamie, can you take care of the horses, please? I think I need to talk to Grissom." She didn't want to do this in front of Jamie. She felt his urge to protect her, she knew, he would stay between her and Grissom and what she had to say to Grissom wasn't what he was suppose to hear. It wasn't anything nice.

"Okay."

"Thanks. Call me if you need some help. I make up for it, I'll peel the potatoes tonight."

"A full bag?"

"Yes."

"Deal." He smiled and stroke his hand shortly over her arm. His eyes told her, that she only had to call for him and he'd be there. He didn't like that Sara wanted to talk to her ex husband, who obviously didn't accept that she wanted a divorce.

"Grissom, why did you come here?" Sara had no intention to have small talk she wanted to know what her ex was doing here.

"I got the ring, tried to call you but you didn't answer your phone; neither landline in Las Vegas nor your cell phone."

"I left Vegas at the end of September."

"And your cell phone?"

"I wanted to start a new life, I got a new number. Too many people in Vegas had my number, I didn't want to get calls from there, asking for an advice or favor. Vegas is past."

"You want us to be back in Vegas."

"I wanted. Grissom, you're talking about a time a year ago. We were both suppose to be in Vegas a year ago. Together. You made the decision to stay until the summer and then you called me to tell me you want to stay at least one more year in Paris."

"You can stay there too."

"Doing what? Sitting in your apartment? Waiting for you? I think I made myself clear months ago that I don't see that as a relationship. You're not willing to cut back the work, you're not willing to come back to Vegas and I'm not willing to be your stand-by-wife."

"You want to give us up?"

"You gave us up, Grissom."

"I came here."

"Sara!" Kieran came out of the house and ran towards her. With one jump he ended in her arms and Sara took him up on her arms.

"Hey Rookie, how are you?"

"Cold. Want skijoring with me?"

"Do you think we've enough snow for that?"

"Yes."

"Okay, dress in your warm clothes and get your pony."

"Caza."

"No, we take the pony. Go." She kissed him and let him down. Immediately Kieran ran back to the house, not bothering with Grissom at all.

"You want to be a stable woman? Is that what you went to university for? To end up on a farm, brush horses and guide strangers around?"

"It makes me happy."

"I thought the work makes you happy."

"Grissom, I tried to escape from my problems in my last job. I worked so much I ended up in hospital three times. The last time I had an accident, I could have killed somebody because I couldn't stop working and didn't have a rest. Here I've work, I can rest and I'm far away from another stay in hospital."

"You didn't need a hospital in Paris."

"I had nothing to do in Paris, a few more weeks and I'd have need a hospital, a psychiatric hospital."

"You're talking things bad…"

"Sara?"

"Jon." Now she was in between her ex husband…still husband and her new boyfriend. She had no idea what to do now. It felt like no matter in which direction she'd move she ended up in a disaster.

"Do you want to come with me to town? Mom needs some things."

"I promised Kieran I'll try skijoring with him."

"I don't think it's enough snow."

"Neither do I but he wants to try it."

"And you can't deny a wish of him, I know. Hi, I'm Jon." Jon offered Grissom his hand and laid his arm casually around Sara. For him Grissom was another guest, he had no idea who he was. Not yet.

"Grissom, Sara's husband."

"Ex-husband." Why couldn't the earth beneath her open up and she would fall to another place…New Zealand or any other country far, far away.

"Really?" Jon wasn't as tensed as Sara was. He was more suspicious towards the other man.

"Really. I've her ring. And you are?"

"Jon."

"Another stable boy?"

Sara knew if she stayed quiet she was very unfair towards Jon. If she said something she had to explain herself to Grissom and she didn't feel like that. It wasn't his business with whom she was together.

"Sofia's son." Jon said like anybody had asked and there was nothing that was worth to mention about him and Sara.

"Really? I didn't know she has a son."

"We're four and I guess you weren't in contact with her the last years."

"No."

"Can you bring some gift wrap paper? I bought the first Christmas gifts but forgot the paper." She needed to get these two men apart. She couldn't handle them together.

"Sure, no problem. Children or adults?"

"Both." Why couldn't he at least sound pissed off or mad? If she wouldn't know it better, she'd say Jon didn't care that Grissom was here and she hadn't introduced him as her new boyfriend.

"No problem at all. Anything else?"

"No. Thanks." To hell with Grissom, Sara wasn't ashamed of her boyfriend, there was no reason to act like they were only friends. She got up on her tiptoes and kissed him.

"You must be kidding me." Grissom said in disbelieve.

"Why?"

"You want to leave me for a child? How old is he? Sixteen? Sara, you can't be serious. This must be a practical joke."

"I think I'm further away from sixteen than you're from sixty." Jon answered cool.

"Jon, not, please."

"Yeah tell him what to do, children don't know that."

Jon raised an eyebrow but stayed silent.

"This has nothing to do with age, Grissom. Doing what your partner asks you to do is a kind of showing respect. If you respect your partner, you respect her or his wish. I know that's not your strong side, your skills are in the work and science."

"And his are? Between the sheets? Do you want a young lover to feel younger, Sara? Was turning forty such a problem for you?"

"Jon gives me love, he gives me the feeling that I'm important, that he cares for me. I can rely on him, he doesn't leave me alone because he wants to work. I had almost forgot how it feels like being the most important person for somebody. He gave this feeling back to me."

"I'm touched."

"You're cynical."

"I'm sorry but you and this boy look like a bad joke for me. What do you plan for your future? Cleaning stables with him? Talking about horses, barns and who gets some more firewood?"

"Grissom." Sofia came out of the house, Kieran and Patrick by her side.

"Sofia."

"What are you doing here?"

"I booked a bungalow."

"You did? I can't remember seeing your name anywhere and I take the bookings."

"Maybe I changed my name because I wasn't sure if I was welcome. So far it doesn't look like. My wife isn't happy to see me either."

"Ex-wife." Sofia said dryly what brought her a thankful look from Sara.

"We're not divorced."

"As far as I know her lawyer sent you the papers weeks ago."

"Nothing is legal until a judge says so. At least I know now why she wants to get rid off me, she got a toy boy."

"Be careful how you talk about my son. I don't allow that he'll get offended by anybody."

"Now mommy has to take care of the little boy. He can't help himself? Right he isn't suppose to talk to me."

"I think I go to town. I've your list, mom and I'll get the paper for you, Sara. Goodbye Mister Grissom." Jon took Patrick. He would take the two years old boy with him.

"See you later." Sara smiled at Jon. "Bye Pat."

"Bye Sara. Sweets."

"I doubt you'll get sweets, maybe an apple." She laughed when Pat made a grimace. An apple wasn't on the mind of the boy.

"You trained him well, Sara."

"Leave him alone, Grissom."

"He can't talk for himself?"

"He has no reason to talk to you. He's smart enough to know it would be a waste of time and energy."

"Are you here to sign the paper for the divorce, Grissom?" Sofia asked. She didn't need any more words to know Sara wasn't happy to have Grissom around and the way he treated Jon Sofia wasn't happy about his appearance neither.

"I won't agree on the divorce."

"I can't force you to sign the papers but that won't change my decision. I don't want to be married to you anymore and that has nothing to do with Jon. I signed the papers before he and me came together. This happens because of you, Grissom. You made me make this decision, you left me alone, you weren't there. Don't try to frame anybody else. It's your fault, I tried often enough to get your attention, to make you understand I was unhappy and I couldn't live the way we did. You never paid attention."

"She was three times in hospital, you didn't bother to call." Sofia said. She had taken Jon's place next to Sara. "How can you not call when your wife is in hospital? How can you go on working like nothing happened when she had a breakdown? Two of them within a few weeks. You should have worried about her, come to her, make sure she's fine. You didn't."

"My marriage is not your business, Sofia. I think you've enough to do with your own private life. There must be some issues, otherwise you wouldn't have a son his age."

"I wouldn't call an adoption an issue."

"Usually people get their own children."

"Having the same DNA don't make them your children, you need more than that. You won't understand that but I can tell you, there are some more important things in life than DNA and other things you can see. Sometimes the things you can't see are more important."

"He won't understand." Sara whispered.

"No I don't."

"And I don't think it's good when you stay here, Grissom. I'll give you the money you paid and the address of a hotel in town."

"I don't want to leave."

"And I don't want you here. It's my farm, I can make the decision who stays and who leaves. If you don't like that you're free to call the cops. But you know you've no right to stay if I ask you to go."

"You want to hide, Sara? It won't change anything."

"I'm not hiding I'm living my new life, a life that makes me happy. I tried to be happy with you, it didn't work out."

"Maybe you didn't try hard enough."

"I think it wasn't me who didn't try enough." She took Kieran's hand, who stood the whole time next to Sofia, not daring to talk. He knew if he said a word, they'd send him away. He had no idea what was going on but he felt, none of the adults were happy. And something was wrong with the strange man.

"Let's go and get your pony." Without saying another word to Grissom she walked away. And hoped he was gone when she was back with Kieran.


	48. Chapter 48

"I'm sorry." Sara leant with closed eyes to Sofia's office door. She had brought Kieran back in the house, had him change his clothes and take a bath. Jon was downstairs with Jamie, preparing the table for the guests. She had to talk to him too. Right now she considered an apology to Sofia as easier.

"Did you invite him?"

"No." Hell no, she didn't want Grissom here, she was horrified when she saw him coming towards her. All these months he didn't care for her, didn't cal and suddenly he was here, asking or telling her, to come with him to Vegas. And offending Jon.

"So why are you sorry? It's not your fault."

"He came here because of me."

"Think like a CSI, it's not the victims fault when the perpetrator comes after her. He planed to surprise you because he knew you won't be happy. I doubt he thought he'd stay here, it must have been clear that I'd ask him to leave."

"Jon and you don't deserve to be treated like that."

"We got treated worse."

"I'm not sure if I acted fair towards him…"

"Why?"

"I didn't let him yell at Grissom, I'm sure he wanted to say some things to Grissom but he held back because I asked for it."

"And because he knew there was no way he could get his message to Grissom. Years ago you couldn't have stopped him from throwing Grissom from the ranch, since he's a dad he's more relaxed and can ignore things like that. And he loves you too much, he knew he'd hurt you if he did anything stupid."

"He's so great and I was so…stupid."

"You weren't. You were off guard, exactly what Grissom planed. He found out you're here he could have sent you a message or give you a call to warn you. He didn't want that, he wanted you off guard. Don't blame yourself."

"But…"

"No but and will you come in? I hate it when you're at the door like you have to make sure you can escape."

"Sorry." Sara closed the door and came in. She had no idea where to go. To Sofia's desk? To a chair in the corner?

"Sara." Sofia got up and walked to the brunette and hugged her. "Stop blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault."

"I hope he stays away."

"He will. But he won't make it easy for you and the divorce."

"I know. You think Jon will be mad?"

"No he won't because there's no reason. He might be mad because you feel guilty for something that isn't your fault but he won't be mad with you because Grissom appeared here."

"I could have left with Jon to town to make it clear I belong to him."

"You promised Kieran to spend time with him. Jon wouldn't want you to break a promise to anybody to come to town with him."

"It's all so…I don't know."

"He messed you up, exactly what he wanted."

"Yes."

"Don't let him win."

"I don't want him to win."

"Good. What did Jon say?"

"I haven't talked to him, I was busy with Kieran and he's downstairs preparing the table for dinner."

"So why are you here with me? Get your ass down to him. If Jamie needs help he can call me. You take your boyfriend and talk to him. Maybe he can set your head straight."

"You want me to disappear with your son? In my room to talk about our relationship? To make up for being so stupid and…"

"You better stop right now or you'll have a very sore ass because I'll kick it. Don't put pictures in the head of your boyfriend's mother. Mothers don't like that."

"I thought I was talking to my best friend."

"You were until you started to talk about making up. You crossed the line there, Sara."

"Sorry mom-in-law…ouch…" Sara had tried to walk away fast enough but Sofia's foot got her.

"Get lost! And I want to see you and Jon in ten minutes for dinner."

"Ten minutes are enough for a three…ouch." This time it was the shoe that hit Sara and she closed the door to be safe. Teasing Sofia could brighten up her mood every time.

She walked downstairs and found Jon placing the cutlery on the table.

"Hey."

"Hey, are you hungry?"

"Not that hungry. Got a minute?"

"Actually I need to finish this, Jamie is busy."

"Your mom will overtake for you."

"Will she?"

"Yes. She wants us to talk and be back in ten minutes for dinner."

"Do we want to do what she wants?"

"In this case I'd like to do what she wants."

"Alright." He smiled and walked with her out of the house to the veranda. It was too cold to sit somewhere so they leant on the wall.

"I'm sorry that Grissom came here and acted like an idiot."

"You're not responsible for him."

"He came here because of me."

"A victim isn't responsible for what the killer did."

Sara looked amazed at him.

"What?" Jon was confused. Why was his girlfriend looking at him like this?

"It's amazing how you and Sofia are the same. She said the same, are you sure you're not related in any way?"

"I'm her son."

"I mean genetic."

"Not as far as I know. You want to work on a family tree with me? Maybe mom and me are genetic related…around a million corners."

"Around a million corners we're all related."

"Scary, isn't it?"

"Sometimes. Jon, I didn't want to tell you what to do or what not to do when I asked you not to talk to Grissom."

"You never asked for that."

"I asked you not to react to his comments."

"What was smart and I didn't react because you asked me and because it was the smartest thing to do."

"He thought I'd tell you what to do and you're my lap dog."

"I don't really care what he thinks. He thinks he can get you back by coming here and telling you, he's in Vegas and you should go there too because staying here is wasting your talent. He's kind of right on that, you're a smart woman, you should use your brain to catch bad boys, so is mom, but I can see that both of you like it here, that the work is good for you and you can't only do things that are sensible to do because you learnt them, you need to do some things that are good for you because your body tells you it's good."

"What if I find out one day I want to be a CSI again?"

"Does that include that you don't want me in your life anymore?"

"Is there a chance to have both?"

"Well I think we can find a compromise. You need a city to be a CSI, I don't like huge cities. We find something small, somewhere Kieran has a garden to play and we can have some pets, we should be fine. Or do you want to live in a city?"

"I've lived in cities my entire life. This here is something new and I like it. I'm sure we can life in a small city and Kieran can have his pets. Do you think Alice Town needs a CSI?"

"I doubt it, you need to go a little bit further away, in a real city."

"Oh…doesn't matter I don't plan to leave here anytime soon."

"I'm happy to hear that." He took Sara in his arms and kissed her softly. "Don't worry about Grissom, he might not cooperate with the divorce but there's nothing he can make to get you to Vegas or Paris if you don't want to be there. And if he needs it for his ego he can come here again and call me a child, I don't care. There were time I would have reacted not positive nowadays I can ignore things like that."

"I'm glad you can keep your temper so well I can't."

"Yeah I heard that from mom. You can be very…emotional."

"Can't she mind her own business?" Sara grinned.

"She does, her son is her business."

"You're not mad at me?"

"No, not at all. You talked to him, you tried to make it clear to him that you're not interested in him anymore, that you want a divorce and when he didn't want to understand, you left him alone and took my son skijoring."

"It didn't really work out."

"I thought so but he had fun. You bring a lot of joy in his life, Sara." Jon stroke his hand over Sara's back.

"I hope so. I love to see him happy and smiling."

"He wasn't that happy before you came here, he was sad when you left and now he looks like a child who has everything he ever dreamed of. I hope, no matter how your decision will be about me one day, you'll keep close to him."

"I plan to be close to both of you. The two of you are the closest thing to family I ever had. I don't plan to replace that for anything."

"Good."

Sara kissed him and snuggled in his arms. She was a lucky woman to have Jon in her life. And the others on the ranch. They were all a big family, no matter that they weren't connect by a legal decision. She didn't need a judge to tell her where she belonged, who her family was and what was best for her. It was obviously all here, everything she needed, everything she ever wanted.


	49. Chapter 49

**December**

Christmas wasn't too far away and this year for the first time in her life, Sara had bought a lot of presents for Christmas. All the years before, she didn't cared about the celebration, she was working, Grissom didn't care for Christmas so their celebration was very small. Now there were two children in her life, two children who were anxious to see what Santa Claus has brought them and who were listen to the 'Christmas Story' every night.

"Do you have some gift wrap paper?" Sara knocked on the door to Sofia's office. For the first time in her life she ran out of gift wrap paper. The two rolls Jon brought her were used and there were still presents left.

"Come in, close the door, little feet are running around everywhere." The blonde smiled. She had put one of the big Christmas socks, you hang on the chimney, on the doorknob so that neither Patrick nor Kieran could look through the keyhole to see what was going on in the room. All the presents were kept here.

"How much and which color do you need?" Sofia opened her file cabinet that was these days nothing more than a gift wrap paper place.

"Ten yards? Color doesn't matter."

"Ten yards? What did you buy?"

"A few things." Sara lifted the big backpack she had in her hands. It was the big one she took here when she came as a guest in summer.

"A whole shop."

"Well I used the time in Vegas not only to see Greg but also for some shopping."

"Or some more. Am I allowed to ask what you bought?"

"A train." Sara got a box out. A train with four wagons were on the picture. Kieran and Pat had asked for this train both.

"Who will be the lucky guy?"

"First I thought." Sara sat on the little sofa in the office and Sofia came with all the paper she had left over and sat next to her friend. "I buy one for each boy…"

"You know how much they are?"

"I am aware of the price I bought this one, I didn't steal it."

"I'm glad to hear that." Sofia laughed.

"There's still a CSI inside me. No I bought one train with wagons for both. There are two yards of rail tracks in the box too. I thought that is not much so I bought another ten yards and some buildings and animals. I thought they'll get this together and to their birthdays they might get a train each. Until then one train should be enough, most times they play together anyway and as soon as the winter is over, they'll spend most of the time outside again. But for now they can build a huge wild west scene and…I've got something for you…"

"Sara, it's not Christmas yet, keep it."

"Oh come on, don't be a spoilsport."

"Three more days."

"I don't want to wait another three days to give this to you."

"You sound like a child, like our boys, they also don't want to wait."

"Waiting is a waste of time. You're not a child, I don't have to pretend Santa Claus brought the gift…"

"Okay, give it to me." Sofia rolled her eyes and laughed.

Sara dove deep in her backpack and got a little, already wrapped box out.

"You used your last gift wrapping paper on me?"

"I'd love to say yes to make me look very generous but the shop assistant did that for me. Sorry." She gave Sofia the little box.

"At least you're honest."

"I am. Want a coffee?" Sara got up.

"Are you running away because of what's in the box or because you really want a coffee?"

"Because I want a coffee and I can smell the fresh brewed one the whole time. Having children made you very suspicious, Sofia. Did you ever notice that?"

"No but it's necessary."

"Sometimes." Sara poured some coffee for Sofia, added milk and sugar and got a black one for herself. She loved Sofia's coffee. The blonde had a coffee machine with real beans and the black liquid tasted so good, it reminded her of Greg's coffee.

When Sara came back with the two mugs Sofia hadn't unwrap the box yet.

"You can open it."

"I want you sitting next to me."

"You are suspicious."

"Ditto. You think I want you next to me because I want to slap you. Maybe I want to thank you for the gift."

"This look alone qualifies you as a mother. It makes everybody feel guilty and interrogated." Sara sat next to the blonde, leaving a small gap, that Sofia simply closed by moving closer, almost on Sara's lap.

"Guilty? Nervous? What did you buy, Sara?"

"Open it and you'll know…and don't climb on my lap."

"Scared?"

"Don't treat me like a child, Sofia."

"Don't act like a guilty one."

"Maybe I want to leave you alone."

"Forget it." Sofia threw her right leg over Sara's left leg because she didn't have a free hand to hold the brunette back. She took a sip of her coffee, put the mug down and started to unwrap the box. Sara had put her mug away too and watched the blonde, ready to escape if there was a chance to escape somehow.

"You are…" Sofia started.

"…dead?" Sara tried to get up but the pressure of Sofia's leg was too big, all she could manage was to get up half and then she got pulled back by Sofia, landing in the blonde's arms.

"Stop running, I wanted to say cute." Sofia hugged Sara. She had given her a Playmobil sheriff figure. A female one.

"Where did you get this one?"

"You don't want to know that."

"I do. Come on, I've never seen something like this in a shop."

"You don't get it in a shop, the shops do only sell male sheriffs. I looked in every shop in Vegas, that had toys. Nothing."

"So?"

"So I got it in a special shop."

"A feminist shop?"

"Uhm…kind of…"

"Sara…?" Sofia's eyes got into Sara's body. She wanted an answer and she wanted this answer quick.

"There was this fetish shop and they had cop ladies…and female sheriffs."

"What made you look in a fetish shop?"

"Lady Heather mentioned once that she had a client who wanted her to dress up like a cop. You know, the cop punishes you, realizes how hot you are and takes another kind of payment for your bad, bad act."

"What did you buy for yourself?"

"Huh? Nothing." Sara looked seriously confused.

"Good. That's all the mother wanted to know."

"It's kind of tricky that you jump all the time between being a friend and being the mother-in-law. Can't you be one person and the next time we see each other, be the other one. I want to tell my friend maybe some things about my lover and me I don't want his mother to know. I need to be sure I talk to my friend and that there's not out of the blue my mother-in-law sitting next to me, slapping or pinching me."

"Am I that bad?"

"To whom am I talking right now?" Sara grinned.

"No, seriously, Sara. Am I that bad? Do you really have the feeling there are things you can't talk about with me because I'm Jon's mother?" Sofia sat her little gift aside and took Sara's hand. She didn't want to joke about this topic, she wanted Sara to be honest.

"Sometimes I think there are things you better not know as Jon's mother."

"And as your friend?"

"You should know them."

"I can't stop being Jon's mother, you know that. But I'm sure even as his mother I can take a lot of shit before I freak."

"My friend would be happy if I tell her I'm pregnant."

Sofia got pale, opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, moved her lips, no words came out of her mouth, her mouth shut again.

"Sofia, it was a hypothetical sentence."

"You almost got me a heart attack."

"Sorry. It was an example for the mother – friend – thing. I am not pregnant, I don't plan to be pregnant any time soon."

"One part of me is released the other one thinks it's a shame."

"The mother versus the friend."

"No, both, mother and friend have these sides. Released because I don't want to be a grandmother and again because you and Jon are not long enough together, a shame because I love to have more grandchildren, I love children and I'm sure you'd be a great mother. Maybe next year? As a Christmas surprise?"

"I'm not sure if I want children…am I a bad daughter-in-law now?"

"No." Sofia laughed. She hugged Sara and pulled her in her arms. "No, you're not. I'll respect your and Jon's decision, I love you both, no matter if you want to have children or not. I'd welcome one or two but you've got Kieran I'm sure he'll keep the two of you busy. Sara, I want you both happy, that's the most important thing for me."

"We are happy."

"Good. And I repeat myself by saying this but I am really happy that Jon got you. I wish I would find a guy who wants to have some holidays but will stay because of me."

"There is this one guy in bungalow five, he flirts with you."

"He's too young, he's around thirty…okay…I take that back." Sofia laughed when she saw Sara's grin.

"Invite him for Christmas dinner."

"I can't do that…"

"Yes you can!"

"No I can't. It has nothing to do with him, I can't invite one guest to our family dinner and not all the others. I need to invite all or none of them. It was different with you, we were old colleagues, I don't know this guy."

"Five guests…one single and a family…you can invite him because he's alone otherwise. Ask first if he celebrates with the family but I think they want to keep it as a family feast and then you can invite him to us. Nobody is suppose to spend Christmas alone and if you don't invite him I'll do it."

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"I try to get you a date. I'm sure your children will be on my side."

"Don't you dare to talk to them, you are my friend and not a gossip reporter."

"Really?"

"Really. And the next time you go to Vegas you take me with you."

"I thought about taking Jon with me, you know these wedding chapel…ouch! See, that's what I mean, I think I talk to my friend and my dragon-in-law pinches me."

"Dragon-in-law? I should slap you too."

"If you would think first you'd realize I can't marry Jon as long as I'm married to Grissom. And it looks like I'll be married for a little while until my lawyer get the divorce. You might get the wedding invitation together with the news of the baby next Christmas. A double surprise."

"You like mocking me."

"Yes."

"I'll keep that in mind…do you really want to marry Jon?"

"Not in the next years. I'm not that kind of woman who stumbles form one wedding to the other."

"You won't have another man in your life after Jon, I won't allow that."

"I don't plan to but I also didn't plan that when I came together with Grissom. Life doesn't work out the way we want it."

"No it doesn't. What do you think of going down and stealing some of Jamie's cookies? If you get his attention I can get some cookies and we meet here in two minutes for another coffee and cookies."

"Aren't we the adults? Why do we have to steal cookies like children?" Sara chuckled.

"Because my son is a mean creature he won't give us any cookies."

"They are for Christmas."

"Nonsense. Thy are fresh today they'll taste best fresh. Are you with me?"

"Okay, I'll get his attention for a minute, you get the cookies and we'll meet here again. If you eat all the cookies by yourself I'll go down and tell him you ate them."

"Hey, trust me we're partners in crime." Sofia tried to look innocent. She might try one or two cookies before Sara was back, that was only to make sure the cookies are alright and good for Sara.


	50. Chapter 50

"Can I help you with the horses?"

"No, you can go inside I'll handle them." Sofia got her helmet of the head and shook her hair. Safety first but she hated helmets, her hair felt weird after that. Today the helmet wasn't only a safety thing, also something to keep her head warm. It was snowing and a cold wind blew from the north, promising more snow. Her afternoon group had made the decision after an hour it was time to go back to the ranch and the family, two adults with their seven and nine years old daughters, were faster in their bungalow than Sofia was down from Kirundi. Only the single man, Rob, didn't seem to mind the cold weather a lot.

"I don't mind, I like horses."

"It's cold, don't you want to sit in front of the heater?"

"I'm from Alaska, I'm used to colder weather than this." He smiled. His blond-brownish hair was too long to be short and too short to be long. It looked like he was in between short and long hair, not sure what he wanted so he kept on waiting how his decision would be. The gray eyes had a hint of green in them and there was a little dimple on his chin.

"What brings you to Wyoming?"

"Work. There's no work in Alaska I worked here for a couple of months, have some holidays and will go back to Alaska until there's work available again here. My boss told me I can come back in May."

"What did you do?"

"I worked on a farm. This guy had a lot of machines, I maintained them, drove them and made sure everything was ready to use when the other worker came in the morning. It pays the bills." He took the saddle of his horse. "Where shall I bring that one?"

"You really don't have to do that."

"What else can I do? Sitting in my bungalow? That's not very exciting. I like horses, I like working with them, I had a horse when I was a kid so I promise I won't mess anything up."

Sofia had to laugh. "Alright, the little door on the left it the room for the saddles. Inside is a huge hook with the name of your horse, that's the place where the saddle belongs."

"Alright." He threw the saddle on his shoulder and walked to the barn. Sofia followed him with her eyes for a few seconds before she threw the blanket on Kirundi's back and untied the halter. Her horse was free to go now but she knew, the mare would stay with her.

"You're a good girl, Kirundi. If you go to the kitchen window and have a look inside I'm sure Jamie will see you and give you an apple. Try it." She took the saddle of her horse and the saddle of one of the ponies and walked to the barn.

"Shall I take one?" Rob asked.

"Not I'm fine thanks."

"Then I'll get another one."

Sofia wanted to tell him again she was fine but it seemed like he didn't want to go back in his bungalow. She could understand him, he was alone in there, she knew he had a computer in there and used the internet but after three or four days of nothing else in the evening she understood why he was bored.

"Your horse is walking around free."

"Yeah Kirundi is allowed to do that. She doesn't run away, I told her to have a look through the kitchen window to get the attention of my son and ask for an apple. Maybe she's doing that."

"What about the other horses?"

"They'll get a blanket and can go inside. There'll be more snow tonight I think we can give them a night in the barn by closed doors."

"I'd appreciate it if I'm a horse. Do you keep the blankets on them?"

"For two hours. We'll get them away when we feed them. Their hair is thick enough."

"Yeah, they are fluffy." He let his fingers run through the hair of the pony.

"Do you want to bring the ponies inside? The big stall."

"Sure." He took the ponies and brought them in the barn. Sofia got the three horses, whistled and had Kirundi following her in the barn. With a piece of carrot she thanked each of the horses and ponies and closed the door. They would get the other horses inside later, Sara had brought Lucky and Fortuna inside after she had stopped working with them. Both were in a stall, watching Sofia and Rob.

"Thanks for the help."

"You're welcome."

"Can I thank you proper with a coffee and a cookie? I'm sure there are fresh baked cookies in the house."

"I think you should keep the cookies for your children. Your two small ones will be little cookie lovers."

Her two little children? Oh he thought Kieran was her son too. That was nice. Well, her grandson was older than her son…but that was a story she didn't want to tell him. There was no reason to say that she was a grandmother already.

"I think the monster will be fine, they had too many cookies already." According to meaner part of her family – that included everybody except herself – she had too many cookies already too. But she was the head of the family, she had to eat most of the cookies. At least she told that herself.

"Could I swap the coffee for a hot chocolate? My stomach isn't a coffee fan."

"That's no problem at all. We do have hot chocolate." As long as Sofia was in the house there would be chocolate in all shapes and kinds. As a drink, a bar, a cookie, a spread, pudding, cake, she had everything that could possible have chocolate inside.

"Let's go inside. You too, Churchill, come with us." The dog got up and followed them in the house. Jamie was, like Sofia had thought, in the kitchen baking more cookies.

"Are we allowed to steal some cookies?"

"Mom, you had a dozen already." He didn't bother to roll his eyes anymore.

"We had a long and cold ride…"

"Take them and leave the kitchen. Six each. Don't you dare to take more. They are Christmas cookies and not 'the days before Christmas cookies'. Why am I the only one who doesn't eat them already?"

"You know what's inside."

"Yes I do. Me not eating them should make you, as a former cop, suspicious and you shouldn't touch them either."

"If that was your plan to keep me away, it doesn't work, try something else next year."

"Sometimes I wonder who the child is…" Jamie turned and got his attention back to his cookies that were waiting for him to finish them.

Sofia got some milk on the oven, started the coffee machine and put cookies on the plate. There was no need to count, the smile on her face made it obvious, she took more than six each. When Jamie didn't look she took the plate and carried it out to the living room.

"Have a seat in front of the fire I'll get the drinks." She told Rob.

"Okay, thanks." He left the kitchen and Sofia added the chocolate powder to the milk.

"Want me to finish them?" Jamie offered.

"No, I can do that."

"Your date is alone."

"He isn't my date. He helped me with the horses and I thought I thank him with some cookies and a hot chocolate."

"Uh-hum."

"Don't make such a sound, son."

"What sound, mother?"

"Uh-hum. Make sure the cookies are alright and leave your mother alone. I'm sure Sara will give me a hard time as soon as she'll hear about the hot choc. And knowing you, Mister Gossip, she'll know it pretty soon. Latest when we have dinner."

"I like to talk to her." Jamie smiled innocent.

"And I like that – usually." Sofia poured the hot chocolate in a mug, got her coffee and left the kitchen.

Rob was sitting in an armchair next to the log fire, Churchill on his feed and read the covers of the books in the shelves around him.

"Crime and nature." Sofia said and handed him his mug.

"Your life."

"Yes. But I think the kids read most of them as well. Luckily they like books."

"Do you have time to read? I assumed the ranch takes a lot of time."

"It does but there are always a few spare minutes in the evening. During the day we're busy, yes. It's less work in winter but I'm glad Sara is here for the spring."

"I thought she's the girlfriend of Jon and not a worker."

"Both. First she was a guest last summer, then she went back to Vegas from where we got her back in October as a farm hand and then she became his girlfriend."

"He said he's your son, I can't believe it. You're way too young for a son his age."

"Thanks." What a kind man, Sofia grinned. "He is. Adopted son but there's no difference between adopted and biological son for me."

"All of them?"

"Not the little blond one."

"Four adopted children and one own child. Impressive."

"Four kids, Kieran is Jon's son." She would never say her grandson, not as long as she could find another way to explain her relationship to Kieran. She couldn't call him Rookie, Rob would not understand that. Jon's son was a good way to say grandchild.

"After you told me Jon and Sara are a couple since a few weeks she can't be his mother."

"Not his biological, no. But that doesn't matter in this family, it's all about the feelings and not the DNA here. She is his mother now, Kieran adores her."

"A happy family. Where does that leave the head of the family? Who's there for you?"

"Beside my children? Sara. We know each other since five years, worked together in Las Vegas. Life is much easier since she's here, not only because she helps with the work. She and the kids are friends, I can rely on her."

"No father for the kids?"

"None they have approved with or I was happy with. We don't take anybody. Enough of me, what about you? No woman waiting for you? In Alaska or down south?"

"They don't approve with my way of living. They want me at one place, so far I couldn't get a job I like at a place. I don't want to live in a city, most women I met want to live in a city, they're bored on the country side. During my job I meet most times men, the only women around are daughters of the boss and they are too young or simply the daughter of my boss. So far no woman was worth risking my job for her."

"Scared of responsibilities?"

"No. I just don't waste my time chasing things that won't make me happy. There are some things in life I won't compromise on."

"You shouldn't compromise on things you need to be happy."

"I don't. Helping on a farm, making sure the machines are running so that a few dozen people can work, bring money home and feed their families is more important to me than a shopping trip to Bloomingdale. New York is overrated anyway."

"I'm sure some people will not agree on that. I haven't been to New York, I can't say it's good or bad but I'm happy to here, in the middle of nowhere. I think I prefer to be woken up by some horses than traffic noise."

"Vegas isn't famous for being a quiet place." Rob smiled.

"No and I think I had enough noise in my life. I like going back there for a few days, my parents live there, but I'm always happy to be back here."

"Having a white Christmas."

"That's really something special I love. Real white Christmas." Sofia had never had a white Christmas in Las Vegas. The few times it snowed there it was never on Christmas and it never stayed long enough to enjoy it. Now she had a few weeks of snow and her third white Christmas. This was what she called winter, like a winter was supposed to be.


	51. Chapter 51

"Why is it that I'm nervous because it's Christmas Eve? I'm old enough to be calm not nervous like the kids." Sofia looked around. What could she do now? Where was something to do? What could distract her?

"You're a child caught in the body of an adult." Sara sipped her coffee.

"I wouldn't mind if my body comes closer to my mind."

"Why? You're a stunning woman, why do you want to be a teenager with pimples? Why change something so beautiful?"

"Christmas suits you." Sofia pulled Sara in her arms. "I'm glad you're here."

"I did some work for you."

"You know I don't mean that even if it's true, you helped us a lot. I mean I'm glad you're here, Sara. It feels like you've been here all the time, like we're all a huge family waiting for Christmas and…God, I'm awful. Something about Christmas makes me act and talk strange. Shall I lock myself up in my room?"

"No." Sara laughed. "We'll miss you when you're not around."

"Thanks. Jamie kicked me out of the kitchen because I can't stop eating cookies. I think put on two pounds in the last week. As soon as Christmas is over I've to work hard to lose the weight again. I'll do the meadows the next week and the barn all by myself. That will be a good workout."

"Mind some help?"

"You haven't eaten too many sweets, you haven't put on weight, there's no reason why you should workout."

"I like to spend time with you."

"Oh, you should say that to Jon."

"I do. And I do spend time with him. We'll go with Kieran skiing next week. If you want we can take Pat with us."

"I'm sure Pat is happy. You don't have to ask, you can take my son to wherever you want to go as long as he's happy to join you. That way I don't have to feel too bad when I don't spend as much time with him as I want. I should spend more time with my baby."

"You spend a lot of time with him."

"Not enough. There's too much work."

"Somebody is always there for him, he's never left alone in front of the TV like other children are. He's a lucky child."

"I hope so."

"Get your hands off my girlfriend, mother!" Jon came with Kieran and Pat in the room.

"Let me hug my best friend."

"It looks like you don't want to let her go anymore."

"Sara, come with us?" Kieran asked.

"To where, Honey?"

"Church. Children Christmas Church."

"There's a Christmas Eve mass in one hour, we want to go there. Do you want to join us? Mom?"

"I'll get the books settled and then they'll be fine for the next two days."

"I come with you."

"Perfect. Get your coats, kids and Kieran, you've to put on a clean jeans. You can't go to church with dirt on your pants. Santa Claus will see that and bring you nothing more than a clean jeans. No toys for dirty boys."

Sara had to hide her laughter. That was a good way to make Kieran change his clothes. Together with Pat the boy left the room.

"What kind of mass is it?" Sara wasn't into church and mass usually, she said mostly yes because she wanted to be with Jon to the boys.

"It's around an hour, kids will make a little play of the Christmas story, there's a children choir and they have a donkey in the church the kids can pet at the end of the play. It's all made for children, so no boring talking like a usually church. You might like it."

"Sounds good."

"Last year there was a cookie on each seat, the best way to start a mass."

"I'll keep mine and bring it to here, I know a cookie lover, who'll be delighted." Sara smiled at Sofia.

"Didn't I just tell you I put on two pounds?"

"Didn't I just tell you that you look stunning?" Sara shot back dryly.

A huge smile appeared on Sofia's face. "Jon, I swear, sometimes I feel like hitting on your girlfriend because she can be so charming. Then I remember she's your girlfriend most times a bitch and forget this idea."

"Get your own girlfriend, mother. Sara is mine." Jon got Sara in his arms.

"Like I said, most times she's a bitch, you can keep her. I might borrow her sometimes for an hour or an evening."

"Forget it."

"Am I allowed to say something to this too? Or are the two of you making the decisions for me?"

"You're my CSI I've to protect you."

"You're my girlfriend I don't share you."

"I don't want to be shared, Jon and I'm not a CSI anymore, as you're not a detective anymore Sofia."

"Some things will stay forever, no matter what your currant occupation is."

"I'll bring you the cookie, detective. Excuse me, I need to change too. Otherwise I'll get also only a clean jeans for Christmas." Sara kissed Jon on the cheek and left the room.

"What?" Sofia asked her son who eyed her.

"I won't let you and Sara go out for an overnight trip anymore."

"Not?" She chuckled.

"No. Keep your hands of my girlfriend."

"We're a big family, we share, son."

"Not Sara."

"Are you jealous?"

"Sometimes."

"Cute." Sofia walked to her son and hugged him. "I love you, Jonny. And Sara loves you too. I can't remember how Christmas was without her, it's like she had been here all the years. We'll keep her."

"I don't plan to leave her. Do you need something from town? The big supermarket is still open."

"No I think we've got everything. Ask Jamie if he needs something."

"Alright. I see you later…after I married Sara in church."

"You can't tease me with that, she won't marry you this year."

"Good that the year is almost over. I'll ask her next week again, first of January."

"She'll say 'no'." Sofia smiled. She knew Sara good enough to know, the brunette wouldn't take the proposal. And she knew her son good enough to know, he won't ask her.

* * *

"I'm ready to burst" Sofia had no idea if it was better to sit, stand or lay. She felt like her stomach was about to explore, did she eat lunch or TNT?

"You ate for three, why didn't you stop after the second plate?" Cat asked.

"Because your brother cooked so good, I had no chance to stop. It's his fault when I die now. Jamie killed me with his food. I'll die because of a pound of mouse au chocolate – the death I always wanted to have." She let her hand run over her belly. This noon she had put on at least another two pounds, very soon no jeans would fit anymore. It was about time that Christmas was over, Boxing Day tomorrow and then she had to eat healthy. Salad instead of steaks, fruits instead of cookies…alright, she would try it for an hour or so.

"You won't die, mom." Cat sat on a chair. They had their own Christmas tradition. Unlike most American families they didn't get the presents in the morning, they got them after lunch. This way they could take care of the animals first, have lunch together and a quiet afternoon.

"No I'll pass away with a huge smile on my face."

"And a belly that looks like you're pregnant…do you want to tell us something, Sofia?" Sara teased.

"Yes, you're not welcome anymore, Miss Sidle."

"Kick me out, Miss Curtis."

"Detective Curtis."

"You're not a detective anymore and if you are, you're Detective Delicious."

Kieran's face lighted up. "Oh 'Tective 'Licious'!" He hadn't called his grandmother that for a long time. Usually he called her 'tective' or 'detective'.

"You're a lucky girl that it's Christmas, Sara." Sofia eyed her friend.

"I know, Christmas presents." Sara pulled Sofia in her arm and kissed her cheek. "Let's go into the room, the kids are nervous, they want their presents and I'm sure there are some more cookies and chocolate, what means, you'll eat in five minutes again." They had decorated one room as a 'Santa Claus Room' where Santa could leave all the presents. Because the living room was an open area, you saw as soon as you were in the house, it wasn't a good place to leave the presents. Pat and Kieran would have opened them immediately.

"Are you sure Santa was already there?"

"I heard the window half an hour ago, I think he was there while we had dessert."

"Alright, we can have a look and the rest waits. Jon can give us a hand in case there are some presents. Pat, Kieran, you'll stay on the couch, understood?"

"Yes Ma'am!" Kieran said and corrected himself. "Yes, 'Tective."

"That's better." Sofia linked one arm with Jon and one with Sara and walked with them to the room. Without a sound they entered and closed the door. All the presents were on the table, the bed, chairs and wherever they had found a free place.

"Where shall we start?" Sara asked.

"Anywhere. We pack all in front of the tree." Jon handed her a big box.

"Alright." With the box she left the room. Sofia heard the happy scream of the boys.

"Santa was here! Santa was here!"

"Yes. You'll stay on the couch, we'll bring the presents to the tree."

"Have one!"

"No Pat, you've to wait like all the others too."

They had to go a few times until all presents were under the tree. Satisfied with their work and the look of the mountain of presents under and around the tree, they sat down with the rest of the family.

"Alright, I think we need to tell Sara we've a Christmas tradition…another one to all the others she experienced already." Jamie said. "We always put all the presents under the tree and then we elect one person to play Santa Claus, means this one has to give everybody the gifts. I'd suggest that's your job because you're new. It's a honor to have this job."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Alright." Sara got up. "I'll start with this one. It's for Cat." Sara brought a small box to Cat. Almost five minutes later everybody had a lot f presents on their lap or in front of them. Sara went back to her place, tried not to sit on any of her gifts.

"Open?" Kieran asked. He was trembling, couldn't sit still because he was too nervous and so was Pat.


	52. Chapter 52

"Alright, open them." Sofia said. "Merry Christmas!"

A loud 'Merry Christmas' shouted back to her and immediately gift wrap paper flew through the room.

"Are you happy?" Jon whispered in Sara's ear. He had one arm around her, not willing to break the physical connection.

"Yes. Why?"

"Mom said you're not into Christmas…"

"I wasn't. How can I not like Christmas when I'm here? This is a paradise, a Christmas paradise. The look at our two boys is enough to love it."

"They love your gift." Kieran and Patrick were about to open the box with the train and the rail tracks. "I guess the next few days we'll have to watch every step, the train will run through the house."

"We can suggest they build it up in their rooms."

"You want to make the decision in which room? Good luck, you'll break one heart."

"What about the Christmas Room? We don't need it the next few days, they can play in there and nobody will fall."

"That's a good idea. Hey boys, if you want to build up the train, get it in Santa's room, nobody will fall over it there and you've a lot of space, alright?"

"Alright dad." They started to carry everything away from the living room.

"I think they'll need help for the rail tracks." Sara guessed.

"I'll have a look later. Let them carry everything first."

"What I wonder is what Santa thought when he got me fluffy pink handcuffs." Sofia eyes Sara.

"Don't look at me, I've no idea." The brunette tried to defense herself.

"Not?"

"No. I think Santa wanted you to have a leather vest in western style." That was what Sara had bought for Sofia. After she got her the sheriff star she thought Sofia needed a cool western vest, to look like one of the cowboys in the old movies.

"You know, short enough so that everybody can see the way your hips sway when you walk around. And it will make your legs look even longer than they are."

"Sounds good to. Maybe my children have an idea about the cuffs. Jon?"

"I don't have a clue."

"As a detective I'll detect who gave Santa this idea."

"Can't you just take them and be happy?" Sara asked.

"Fluffy pink handcuffs? What am I suppose to do with them?"

"Chain guys to you? Guys you don't want to leave."

"Funny."

"If you don't want them, mom, Sara and me take them, we'll find something we can use them for."

Sofia's eyes got narrow. "Don't!" She warned her son, who started laughing.

"She loves us." Sara snuggled in Jon's arm.

"Yes she does."

"She has a big heart. Dan is allowed to come to dinner today, that's so great." Cat smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, get all your lovers in the house, I don't care. I play with the kids."

"You can ask your Alaska man to come in. I'm sure he won't mind to spend some time with you."

"Cat, he isn't my Alaska man. He is a guest."

" A guest you spent an evening with."

"He had a hot chocolate and a talk."

"You had fun, he looked happy too, no reason not ask him over tonight. Nobody should be alone on Christmas."

"Or over for overnight?" Jon grinned.

"Jon Curtis, you are not popular right now."

"I'm sure my girlfriend loves me."

"I do and I like your idea."

"It's good nobody wants to know what you want or like."

"She's bitchy." Sara smirked.

"Bite me." Sofia turned away from Jon and Sara. "What do you think, Jamie?" Her son was very quiet, he unpacked most gifts, but hadn't say a word in a long time.

"Yeah…"

Immediately Sofia felt something was wrong with Jamie. She took his hand. "What's wrong, Honey?"

"Nothing."

She could see and hear that was a lie but she didn't try to push him. She simply held on to his hand.

"Want to get some food with me from the kitchen?" She offered as a chance for them to talk in private.

"What do you want from the kitchen? I can get it for you."

"Something sweet. Where did you hide all the cookies?"

"I'll get them."

"I can help you."

"No, that's alright." He got up and left. Sofia sighted soundless. That went wrong. Was she suppose to follow him and ask him straight forward what was wrong with him? Or should she wait until he came to her and talk to her? She hated to know something was wrong with her one of her children and there was nothing she could do.

Jamie came back with a huge plate full with cookies. He offered them to Sofia, who took one and put the plate on the table.

"Thanks Jamie." She laid her arm around her son, pulled him near and kissed his cheek. "I love you." Not willing to let go she hoped she was allowed to keep him in her arms.

"Love you too, mom." She could see he had to swallow hard. Before she could say anything more he jumped up. Obviously nervous and uneasy he ran his hands through his hair, tried to say something for a few times before he found his voice.

"I need to tell you guys something." He tried to avoid the eyes of them, looking more at the tree than his family. By now everybody had noticed the strange behave of him, only Kieran and Pat were busy in the other room playing.

"It's the wrong time I think, the wrong place and…I don't know…just wrong, I think. But I think I need to tell you…damn…"

Sofia was about to jump up too and take him in her arms. It broke her heart to see her son fighting with something she had no idea of and see how he suffered.

"Jamie…"

"Mom, I'm so sorry." He looked at her, tears in his eyes.

"Why? What for?"

"I…I'm gay." Tears burst out of his eyes.

"Oh Jamie." Sofia got up and took her son in her arms. "Why are you sorry for that? It's nothing you have to be sorry for."

"I'm sure you didn't want a gay son when you adopted me."

"What exactly is wrong or bad of being gay, Honey?"

"I…you…you won't get grandchildren, people will talk and…they'll blame you for that."

"What people talk is absolutely not important, they'll always talk about anything because they are poor gossip junkies without an own life. And grandchildren, I've one already, nobody will stop you from adopting a child later and the only thing that's important is that you're happy. If you want to bring a man home, I've no problems with that. I want you happy, no matter who makes you happy as long as you are happy."

"Who cares if you like boys or girls?" Cat was next to her brother and got him out of Sofia's arms in her arms. "I mean if you start to hit on Dan I'll kick you ass…"

"He's not my type."

"Perfect. If he ever pisses me off we can go out and look for some guys together. I prefer to do that with you than with the girls. I mean, if I don't get the boy because he wants you, it's not my fault, I prefer to lose a hottie to you than to the girls." She poked him softly. They had been friends in the children's home, they were still close.

Jamie had to smile against his will.

"Baby bro, if you want to shock us you need to do better." Jon blinked at his little brother. He was gay, who cared about that anymore? "This won't shock us."

"If you would tell me you bought all the cookies and didn't bake them yourself I'd be shocked. Being gay doesn't shock me." Sara smiled.

"I baked them all myself. I promise."

"Good to know. And now that you're out we can hit some great clubs in Vegas…in three years when you're twenty-one of course." Sara added after a short look at Sofia.

"Don't waste energy on pretending anything, Sara. I know you took him to a club in October."

"You do?" Sara and Jamie asked surprised. They were so sure this little stop was their secret. How did Sofia find out? Who saw them and told her?

"Yes."

"How?"

"I won't tell you."

"I bet the door man is an old admire." Sara chuckled.

"Might be…how can we make sure she doesn't know the other ones too?"

"We don't."

"You might start with a decent faked I.D. for the boy." Sofia suggested. "An not this cheap one he has."

"How do you…?"

"You left it in your jeans. I didn't sniff around your room, Jamie, I don't do that. Your room is your private place, I don't look around to find things."

"I didn't think so."

"Good. It was in your jeans in the laundry, I put it in a pocket of a jacket you wore in Vegas. Take better care of your illegal things."

"Things? This is the only illegal thing I have."

"And you, Miss Investigator, you should have told him his I.D. is crap."

"I didn't check it."

"Like I said, get a decent one for the next club."

"Any suggestions where I should go to?" Jamie grinned. If his mother was complaining about his faked I.D. she could tell him where to get a better one.

"I'm your mother and I was a cop, do you really expect me to give you an answer to this question?"

"Yes."

"We can ask the Captain where Sofia got her faked I.D. from. I bet she had one and her mother knew about it."

"My mom knew about it, she tried to find it to tear it apart, she never found it. She threatened to get the guy who made me my I.D. and send him to jail, she was a nightmare."

"I'll ask Greg where he got his from, he'll help us."

"I might not let Jamie go to Vegas anymore."

"Mom, I've to go there for my college."

"Right. I'll make sure my mom takes care of you."

"You want me to stay with the Captain? What will she do when she figures out I'm gay?"

"Tell you that she'll kick every man in jail who'll break your heart."

"I'm not sure about that."

"How comes that everybody is scared of my mother?"

"Because she's the captain and she is…scary." Sara tried to explain.

"Firm." Jon added.

"Strict." Cat offered.

"She can look right through you." Jamie closed the itemization.

"She's my mother, your grandmother."

"She's the captain. And then the rest." Jamie said.

"I hope you are not that scared of me."

"No."

"How could anybody be scared of you?" Sara laughed.

"Careful, Sidle."

"Sorry, MOM."

"One day…" Sofia warned Sara without finishing the sentence.

"One day you'll be her mom…mom-in-law and I'll be her brother-in-law. I look forward to that day." Jamie smiled.

"That you are on Sara's side is nothing new. The two of you are always against me."

"Jamie knows who is good for him." Sara blinked at Jamie. It was more the similar past they had that brought them closer. First. There were still things Sara told Jamie she didn't tell Jon. Some things were hard to explain and most times she didn't feel like explaining things when something of her past haunted her. With Jamie she could talk, he understood without many or no questions, he told her things he hadn't told his siblings or mother. One day they would open themselves to the others, but at the moment they wanted to keep some stories between them.


	53. Chapter 53

March

Coming to Vegas was a strange feeling for Sara. She considered the city still a kind of her home town, but she felt uneasy to be here. First she had denied Sofia's request to join her to Vegas because she wasn't sure if Grissom was still here. After a phone call with Greg she knew Grissom wasn't in Las Vegas, he was back in Paris, had only visit Vegas when he was also in Wyoming, she was happy that Sofia was with her. So much for his statement he was back and wanted to stay in Vegas. She hadn't believed it last year because he had told her during the summer that he had a contract for two more years, one of the main reasons why Sara got sick and tired of her marriage with him. Probably he would stay forever in Paris; or at least as long as they gave him all the projects he wanted to have.

"Wow, you look great!" Greg hugged Sara. She had called her old colleagues for a breakfast in their old favorite diner.

"Thanks."

"Life in the country side suits you. Let's see, do you wear cowboy boots?" He looked down to find some sneakers.

"No I don't."

"But Sofia does." Nick hugged the blonde. "Haven't seen you in ages. It wasn't nice of you to run away and leave us here alone."

"Sorry a new life was calling."

"A new life in the wilderness."

"Las Vegas is a kind of wilderness too. Only that I prefer my wilderness."

"You took our new old CSI away." Greg complained. "I was so happy when Sara was back and you made her leave after less than two years."

"You didn't take care of her. Twice in hospital within a month, back in hospital less than a month after I sent her back to you, Greg. I'm sorry but she's better off with me. Almost half a year of work, no hospital and – as you said – she looks great."

"I bet there's man the secret." Cath grinned.

"A man, a family, a great boss and the world's most relaxing job ever."

"You're a pen pusher?"

"No, I carry benches, clean stables, sit for hours on the back of a horse, guide tourists through the area, clean bungalows, there's plenty of work. The difference is, if I dare to be out of the house after ten in the evening, my boss comes to me and kicks me in the ass. I'm not suppose to work long hours." Sara smiled at Sofia.

"We start around seven, the animals get their dinner around seven in the evening, if she dares to be out on the fields after eight, I come out and she's in trouble. I don't allow double shifts without breaks."

"Missing out all the good things Jamie cooks is a good reason to come back in."

"And a man." Cath insisted. For her there had to be a man in Sara's life otherwise she doubted the brunette would change her life that much and she had some things from Grissom that made her believe, Sara had replaced him.

"Actually two."

"What?" Cath was speechless.

"Why am I not one of them?" Greg asked.

"Sorry Greggo."

"You're too old." Sofia smirked.

"Too old? I am younger than Sara. Three years."

"Yes, too old. She's dating my son."

"Your son? Oh, she's a babysitter. I thought she was talking about a real boyfriend."

Sara looked amused at Sofia. "I think they don't know how old you are, Sofia. She has got a son who is in a legal age for drinking, voting, driving. She isn't that young anymore…ouch." Sara held her arm. Sofia had pinched her. It had been a long time since the blonde had done that to her.

"She didn't have a child when she left here…." Nick wondered.

"I adopted three children, well, Jon, the oldest one, was almost eighteen when I adopted him, he's twenty-two now. And dating Sara. I've no idea why he picked such an old bitch, I always thought he's a smart man, guess I was wrong."

"She doesn't like the idea I'm having…dates with her son." Sara jumped aside so Sofia couldn't pinch her again."

"You're dating a twenty-two old?" Cath couldn't believe this. That wasn't Sara. The Sara who married Grissom, a man over fifteen years senior her age was now with a man young enough to be her child.

"Yes. He's cute, absolutely not like Sofia."

"He looks as great as I do. He's my son."

"I want a picture!" Cath demanded.

"I want an explanation why he got you and I didn't."

"Because I love you like a brother, Greggo. See the upside of it, we won't split, we'll always be friends. Isn't that worth anything?"

"It's priceless." He laid his arm around her.

"These are my babies." Sofia got a photo out of her pocket with all her four children on. As a good mom she carried a few of them in her pockets.

"Wow, Sara." Cath had to admit she understood why Sara fell for Sofia's son. Why couldn't she get a young lover? What was wrong with the world?

"Yes Jon is wow."

"A young lover…but I can see five children, Sofia. You said you've four."

"The tall blond, the black one, the girl and the baby blonde. The other dark blonde one is Jon's son Kieran."

"The second man in my life." Sara smiled. They had taken Kieran and Patrick with them, they were with the captain.

"A new man and a child. Wow"

"A new job, a new hobby, you renewed your life, Sara."

"There's still a place for you in my new life, Greg. I hope you'll come to Wyoming to visit me. How good are your riding skills?"

"They don't exist."

"Well, if you come up for a week or two we can change that and you can join me on an overnight ride. We get in the national park, sleep on a shore of a lake and have breakfast in the sunrise."

"I've no idea how talented I am with horses."

"We'll find out. I never been on a horse before I came to Sofia's ranch and now I don't fall down anymore…not that often…"

"She has her own two horses." Sofia grinned. "I took her to an auction and she bought a mare that was in foal. A few days later she had a foal to her mare."

"Yeah, Fortuna. I want to take her with me on the rides this year."

"This doesn't sound like Sara Sidle we got in our team twelve years ago." Nick grinned.

"I changed a bit."

"That is one of the biggest understatements I've heard in the last years." Sofia smiled benignly. Sara changed a big in the last months, she had changed a lot between the time Sofia had met her first in Vegas and the last summer and as far as she knew, Sara had been a real bitch and loner in her early days in Vegas. There had been a big change in Sara's life and personality.

"Bite me, Curtis."

"That's more like you."

"What brought you to Vegas? Beside the fact that you missed us?" Nick asked.

"Well the babies wanted to see the captain again, Jamie, my other son, had to be in Vegas this week because he studies here. Or he has to be here for tests, he studies at home. So we use the week for a trip to Vegas, left Jon and Cat alone with the work. My daughter uses the week to have a few friends over, they make sure the horses are alright and Jon makes sure, the girls don't mess up the place. Five out of seven are away, I'm not that happy with this constellation but somehow everybody else thought it's a good idea to get away for a week."

"Don't look at me." Sara protested. "It wasn't my idea. Don't punish me for the ideas of your children."

"I wonder what they plan."

"I swear I've no idea."

"But you agree, they plan something."

"Yes." Yes Sara had the feeling something was going on and that Jon, Cat and Jamie wanted them away. Why and what they were planning, Sara had no idea. She had tried to find out something the last days they were at home, but she couldn't find any clues or evidence for what the kids were planning.

"Maybe they clean the house and surprise you with that." Cath suggested. Her dream that one day she comes home and Lindsey had cleaned the whole place. So far she hadn't been close to reality with this.

"I doubt that."

"You'll see when you're back on Saturday."

"When it's too late."

"You can also stay in Vegas and work with us again." Greg offered. "Both of you."

"Uhm no, thanks. My home is in Wyoming, I've a ranch to take care of."

"And I've a mare and a foal to take care of."

"A boyfriend and a boy." Greg added.

"They could come to Vegas too, my horses can't. They need their freedom."

"I wanted to offer you to take me instead of your men but I guess I can't replace your horses."

"Greg, are you trying to hit on my son's girlfriend?" Sofia asked and looked evil at Greg. It was time to be a mother-in-law. Somebody tried to steal the girlfriend of her son, she couldn't just let this happen.

"Uhm…no…"

"Good. I wouldn't like that. He loves her, I don't want to see him heartbroken because some guy with crazy hair hits on his girlfriend while she is away. Keep your hands off that girl, she's all Jon's."

"Your mother-in-law is very…she takes care of you." Nick grinned.

"Yes she does. It's her job, the detective takes care of the CSI. She'll always be my detective and I'll always be her CSI." Sara blinked at Sofia.

"That didn't look like that years ago when she actually was your detective and you her CSI."

"Oh Cath, things have changed. Who would have thought that one day I wake up in hospital and Sofia on my bed, where everybody would expect my husband…ex husband." Her lawyer had told her until the end of the year she was divorced. Because Grissom didn't agree it was likely take longer than they had hoped. But when the year of separation was over, Sara was free to marry somebody else. Not that she planed to get married any time soon. And soon meant in this case the next years.

"Somebody had to make sure you're alright. Grissom didn't do that so I had to come to Vegas to make sure, you did what the doctor told you."

"Nonsense."

"Necessary. Greg has no idea how to handle you, he didn't make sure you had breaks so I had to come here and take you with me. Now you're fine and we're all glad you're with us. Sorry Vegas guys, you had your chance, didn't take it, we won't let her go anymore." Sofia pulled an arm around Sara's waist. She couldn't imagine how her life without Sara would be and she didn't want to think about that.


	54. Chapter 54

The week in Vegas had been nice, they had all five enjoyed it very much but they were also very happy when they could see the farm from the street.

"Home sweet home." Jamie sighed.

"Come on, you liked Vegas. We had some fun." Sara smiled. She and Jamie had left Sofia one evening with the two boys alone and went out and somehow they ended up in a scene club. Both couldn't remember how the faked I.D. got in Jamie's pocket and they couldn't remember what had happened in the club, all they could tell Sofia the next day was, they had a lot of fun and Jamie left the club with a telephone number and two e-mail addresses. Useless for a relationship, like he said, but maybe he could make a friend or two this way. He had nobody in Las Vegas expect his grandparents when he was there, some people around his age would be nice.

"Yes I did. Do you come with me again when I've to go back in June?"

"I can do that."

"What did you two do? You never told me any details." Sofia looked at her son and her friend.

"We can't tell you, that's our secret. There are some things a mother isn't suppose to know; for her own sake."

"I hope Sara made sure you…oh well, you won't tell me a damn thing, no need to go on talking. You had fun, that's all that counts."

"Exactly. Relax mom, I don't do stupid things."

"She thinks of herself and worries you're like her." Sara giggled.

"Sara, when you've got nothing nice to say it's better to keep your mouth shut."

"Sometimes less nicer things have to be said."

"Get out of the car." Sofia stopped the car in front of the house. "And take the nasty big boy with you."

Sara and Jamie left the car with a laughter while Sofia got to the backseat and unbuckled the seatbelts of Kieran and Patrick. Home sweet home, she was happy to be back, she missed her own bed and worried too often if Jon and Cat were alright. She had called them at least one time a day and her children had always told her, everything was alright, there was no need to worry and she should enjoy her time in Vegas. How could she relax when her babies were left home alone with a lot of work?

"Dad!" Kieran jumped out of the car right into Jon's arms, who had to let go of Sara to catch his son.

"Hey big boy, how are you? How was Vegas?"

"Good. Captain said I'll be officer soon."

"You won't be a rookie forever? That sounds good. Maybe the next time you're in Vegas the captain will make you an officer."

"No, first school."

"Ah okay, you need to be in school to be an officer. Makes sense, you have to make a test, so you must read and write to become an officer."

"Yes."

"And you? How did you like Vegas?" He asked Sara.

"It was great to see the guys but I missed you." She kissed him.

"That's what I wanted to hear. I missed you too. I never noticed how big and lonely my bed is without you."

"Try to forget it until I'll be back in Vegas in June, for Jamie's last tests."

"Why can't he go alone?" Jon looked at his brother. "You'll be nineteen by then."

"Yeah but I like partying with your girlfriend. She's cool."

"She is my girlfriend, it's good that you remember the part that she's mine."

"Uhm…bro…I'm gay…I'm not interested in your girlfriend in this way." Jamie laughed. Three months after his coming out he had no problems anymore to say that he was gay. At least not to his family, he didn't mention it to anybody else. Not even to his grandparents. He wasn't sure how the captain and her husband reacted. His mother told him they would be cool, but he preferred to be sure that he was here when they found out.

"You might change your mind for such a great woman and she might leave me for a younger man."

"Yeah, probably." Sara laughed. Jon was getting old, he was now twenty-two, time for her to look for somebody younger.

"You never know."

"Talking about things you don't know…what did you and Cat do? I know the two of you had a plan, you did something, what is it?"

"Where's your evidence?"

"Oh come on, tell me."

"You'll see soon."

"So you did something!"

"Of course. Mom will either love us or kill us."

"What did you do?"

"If you haven't figured out until dinner I'll tell you. Now let me bring your and Kieran's things in the house. Jamie, we had no time for a huge dinner, we ordered three large pizzas. I hope you can cope with that."

"I'll be back in the kitchen tomorrow, one more day with not fresh food won't kill me. And grandpa doesn't cook too bad."

"He is good in opening cans and heat them up." Sofia laughed. Her father opened a can, added meat to it and that was his way of cooking. On good days he also added some herbs. Sara bought her own food the whole week because there hadn't been a vegetarian dinner.

"Where's Cat?"

"Homework. I was on my way to feed the horses."

"I can do that if Jamie takes Pat inside. I missed my horses, Kirundi is already waiting for me." Sofia could see her mare looking over from the bench.

"I'll get yours and his stuff, go and say hello to you babies with four legs." Jamie chuckled. He knew how important the contact to the horses was to his mother.

"Thanks." Sofia left and jogged over to Kirundi, climbed between the boards of the bench and hugged her horse.

"I missed you, Kirundi. So much. Did you miss me too?" The mare nickered. "Thought so. What did happen while I was away? I know the kids planed something, what did they do? Tell me, I'm sure you know it."

The problem was, Kirundi could tell Sofia what Cat and Jon did, Sofia wouldn't understand her. With her mare behind her, she greeted the other horses and walked to the barn. Time to get some provender out. There was no snow left on the meadow but the grass was small and couldn't satisfied the horses. Sofia guessed they had to add provender for at least another month, if not two. What also told her, she had to get more for the next winter. There were some things she had to change this year but right now she had no idea how. They had more work than worker and with Jamie needing time for his college, Cat away in school, time was rare. They had to try to find another worker, Sara alone could replace Jamie and Cat and do all the other work, that nobody did before.

And she had to think about her offer for the horseback holidays. It was the best way to get money and if she wanted to safe horses, she had to bring in some more money. They had barely managed to survive the last year, only with help of a foundation, that donated most of the provender, they had enough money for the animals. This idea with the native American tents was a way to get more people here but Sofia wasn't happy with having thirty to forty on her ranch and that was the amount they needed. Or they had to raise the prizes a lot.

She started to throw hay in the stables. Twenty horses were down here, the rest was up on the meadow on the hill. She knew Jon had been there in the morning to feed them. He must have gotten up at five o'clock to get all the work done. Same with Cat, she must have fed the horses here before she left for school. Both had worked a lot, Sofia knew it. And she had no idea how to make up for that. The little souvenirs she had bought for them weren't enough. Knowing them, they didn't want anything else.

"Need a hand?"

Sofia almost dropped the garden fork. She hadn't heard that somebody was in the barn too. And this voice didn't belong to somebody of her family, it wasn't a guest either, she knew this voice.

"What are you doing here?" How the hell got Rob in the barn? What was he doing here? Why was he here? Wasn't he suppose to be in Alaska?

"Offering you my help."

"Are you back on holidays?" She couldn't remember that he booked a bungalow. If he just popped in, knowing the business was running slow at this time of the year. Maybe he was on his way to his job down south.

"No."

"No?"

"I work here."

"You work here?" She sounded silly to herself, repeating his answers.

"Yes. Your son gave me a job, I thought you know about that."

"I had no idea…" She had to talk to Jon. Soon.

"Well, he called me a few weeks ago, asked if I'm interested in working here. He said I can start this week, which is two months before my other job starts and he says there are good chances that I can work through winter."

"You'll stay, not go south?"

"Well, I like the job down south, no question about that, but if I can work here more months, maybe year around, this job is better. I was looking for a job I can keep year around, looking for work every few months makes me tired. He didn't tell you about this?"

"No." He also didn't tell her that he had Rob's number. Sofia had stayed in lose contact with Rob since Christmas, every two weeks or so she got a text from him or sent one to him. She had that with half a dozen guests, she got on very good. That he would be back as a worker was nothing he had mentioned in all the months.

"Is that alright with you? Or do you want me to leave? Jon said, he can't give me the final contract, that's your business because it's your ranch."

"I'm not sure if we can pay an electrician…"

"My contract says I'm a farmhand. You don't have machines here to maintain. I can't ask for that money if I don't do that work."

"And that's alright with you?"

"It's better to have that job for twelve months a year than the other one for four or five. Plus I save the money for the two trips each year. I can finally settle down."

"In that case you're more than welcome." Finally Sofia could manage a smile. One of her problems seemed just disappeared. And a bit of her bad conscience was gone too. Cat and Jon had help, they didn't have to work all week alone.

"Thanks. Now, would you like some help?"

"Yes. Can you fill up the water?"

"Sure." He smiled and got a bucket.

Sofia shook her head. She had been right, they had have a plan. Hiring a worker. Not only any worker, an old guest. She was sure they did that with an ulterior motive. She had to talk to her children, they owned her an explanation.


	55. Chapter 55

"Stop! Turn! Come here! Explain!" Sofia stopped Cat who tried to vanish in her room in front of her mother's eyes.

"Hi mom, nice that you're back." Cat smiled way too innocent.

"Thanks. It's nice to be back, especially after somebody just hired a new worker. Somehow I thought I'm in charge for that. Do you have any idea how Rob ended up as a farmhand here? Did he apply? I can't remember seeing his application. Maybe you can help me out, I wanted to ask Jon but I'm afraid he's too busy celebrating Sara's come back. That leaves me to you, my dearest daughter. I'm sure you know as much as he does. Why don't you make your stupid mother a little bit smarter. Please." Sofia smiled, knowing she had Cat exactly where she wanted her to have. That was good, that reminded her of interrogating a suspect. Cat was as nervous as most guilty suspects years ago. She still had the drill, she still knew how to ask questions. Good to know.

"Mom, I…we…it was…"

"Yes? Why don't you come here? You haven't hugged your mother."

"Mom…" Cat looked like prey ready to run away but scared that the predator would jump on her back if she turned.

"Yes Honey?"

"Promise you won't slap me."

"Did I ever slap you?"

"No."

"So, why do you ask such a silly question?"

"You look like you want to kill me."

"I love you, I don't kill my only daughter."

"To say it in Vegas style…the odds are not that good that I'd beg on that."

"The odds are prefect, all you have to do is trust."

"Mom…"

"Now, Cat!"

Obviously against her will Cat came to her mother, ready to lift her arms to defense herself. Sofia pulled her in her arms, hugged her and kissed her cheek.

"I missed you, Honey."

"I missed you too, mom." Cat relaxed a bit. That wasn't bad, she was still alive.

"How was school?"

"Got two A's this week and a B. stupid teacher couldn't read my handwriting and gave me a B because of that. Fucker."

"Shall I go to school and kick his ass?"

"I'd love to see that but I need to be nice, I've him in two other classes."

"Alright, so next time you'll write really nice for him."

"I will."

"And now you tell me all about Rob." Sofia tightened her arms around her daughter, who tried to escape. "Stay here, Cat."

"Mom…"

"Just tell me. Don't fight, there's no need to fight."

"Jon had his number…we knew we'd need somebody for the farm…Jamie needs time for his college, I'm busy with my school…we have to enlarge our holiday packet…there are a lot of things that need to be done…most of it things we wanted to do last year but there was no time for it…so we thought we'll give it a try…called him…he was interested…and because we wanted it to be a surprise, we asked him to come here on Sunday…you were in Vegas, if he was useless we had sent him away, not hassle for you…he's great, really. He works hard and he knows what he's doing, he'll be a big help and he wants to stay…are you very mad?"

"No."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"Why do you hold on to me like that?"

"Because as soon as I open my arms you'll run away and I want to keep you in my arms a little bit longer. I missed you, I won't see much of you next week when you're in school. I have to use these rare moments with you."

"You scare me."

"I don't."

"You do. I expect you to slap me…or whatever you want to do because we got Rob here behind your back."

"Slapping children is one of the most stupid things you can do, slapping your child for something it made good, is especially stupid. I don't do so stupid things. Just promise me the next time you and Jon want to hire somebody, you tell me before the worker tells me. I think I looked pretty stupid when I saw him in front of me."

"I had hoped Jon did tell you when he greeted you."

"No, he held his mouth shut."

"Coward."

"He's a man, they're not that brave."

"Looks like." Cat got out of Sofia's arms. "I need to finish one more thing for school."

"Dinner is in half an hour, I'll go down and turn on the oven. Jamie sorting out his college stuff, Jon and Sara are busy with themselves and the babies are in front of the TV, the captain gave them a new DVD. The Care Bears. I didn't know people do know them nowadays. I think it's around thirty years old."

"I don't know it."

"You're too young."

"I might watch with the boys if it's any good."

"I loved it as a child."

"I'll give it a try. See you in half an hour."

"Yeah, hopefully you won't run away then." Sofia grinned. It was much funnier to scare her children the way she did than yelling or telling them off. They did nothing wrong, Sofia was thankful that they had managed to get a good worker for the farm. But the farm was her responsibility, she preferred to know what was going on. It wasn't like she was about to retire any time soon.

* * *

"So how do you feel with your personal surprise?" Sara smiled when she entered Sofia's room. The blonde was in bed with a photo book.

"I'm glad they didn't have to do the whole work alone."

"And?"

"I'm glad we've somebody to help us now because there are a lot of things that we need to do and change otherwise we might get some problems in the future."

"And?" Those weren't the answers Sara wanted to hear. She was after something more personal than these answers.

"You're annoying and cold." Sofia could see goose bumps on Sara's legs and arms. The brunette wore only a short and a t-shirt.

"Make me leave by saying what I want to hear."

"Why don't you come to me and have a look at these photos? My kids, the first photos I've got of them. You can see your boyfriend with seventeen."

"Alright." Sara climbed next to Sofia.

"Wham, your feet are cold!"

"I know, you said the cold feet thing is for sleeping bags, this isn't a sleeping bag."

"Next time warn me, please."

"What makes you think there's a next time that I'll come to you in your bed?"

"I've more photos. Only a few more but better than nothing. I wish I had baby photos of them." She got back to the first page. It was definitely Jon on the photo, leaning on a bench with a black mustang behind him on the meadow.

"He looks worn out, restless, unhappy and old." Sara had to say about her boyfriend. This wasn't a photo she would like to have on her desk.

"That was the second day I knew him. He looked much better there, after a shower, a night in a real bed and some food than the day before. He looked like an ordinary street kid on the first sight, but when you look closer you can see he isn't like most kids."

"He's special." Sara smirked. What else could she say about her boyfriend?

"Yes he is. I could see it the way he treated the horses, very sensitive. It's a shame he hasn't got the time for the horses anymore, he works too much but every time I tell him to take a day off, to sleep in, go away for a day, he laughs at me and is back at seven the next morning. Kind of reminds of somebody else I know…" She looked at Sara.

"There's a reason why we were attracted to each other. We're both workaholics."

"Yes you are. And it's my job to change that." Sofia turned the page. "A real rare photo of Jon."

"Wow." There was Jon with short hair in a suit. "Somebody died?"

"No, our appointment for the adoption. A haircut and a suit were obligation, the captain made sure he looked like a church boy. My mom was a big help for us to get the adoption through. I didn't know she had so many important friends."

"Knowing the right people helps a lot. Let me guess: as soon as Jon was adopted he got out of the suit, messed up his hair and was back with the horses."

"Yes. No need to celebrate in a fancy restaurant, he got us back to the ranch, packed some steaks and sausages and we had a barbeque. The first time in ages my parents were on horses and as far as I know the last time."

Sara had to laugh. The captain on a horse, hard to believe. Was Sofia crazy with her suits, her mother was even worse. Sara had never seen the captain in anything else than suits.

"I've all five kids in here, there are two boxes with more photos. When there's a quiet evening I've to sort all them out and start a photo book for each of them. I took a few dozen over Christmas, time to put them in books."

"Why a book for each? Just go on with the book by time line, don't separate them. It's nice to see how they all developed and not only one and then you have to take the next book. You'll never have the time to look at five books, you'll always stop after two or three. Keep them together, they belong together."

Sofia thought about this idea for a few seconds. "You're right. Would you like to help me with that? Or are you too busy catching up with her lover because you haven't seen him for a week?"

"I think I can make some time for you and probably he wants to join us too. You know if you involve the children you might be able to get a few little stories to some photos, what will make the books even more interesting and a better memory."

"Sara, you're great." Sofia hugged Sara. "That's a wonderful idea. I knew you're a smart woman and because you're part of the family too, your photos will be in there too and so will your stories."

"Uhm, thanks. I think."

"What is my girlfriend doing in your bed, mom?" Jon looked at both women.

"Having a good time." Sofia smirked.

"Do you want to have a family war?"

"No, not over a woman. This woman. She's way too great to fight about her."

"I'm not worth fighting for?" Sara asked amused.

"You are but why? I'm happy where you are – I mean with your relationship with Jon not with where you are right now…well, that's alright too since your feet are not that cold anymore…we're looking at old photos, I showed Sara the one you had short hair and a suit. She could barely recognize you."

"I didn't recognize me in this monkey suit and this awful short hair. Cutting hair, they forced me to do that in foster homes. I don't like it short, I prefer it longish. And only because the judge was a tied ass…"

"The judge is a friend of your grandmother otherwise you wouldn't be my son now."

"But I would be here?" He cocked his head.

"Well, depends. If they had sent you to prison for running away, petty theft and whatever else you've done in your wild days, you might have ended up locked away than here. And I had to handle Sara alone."

"I'm not difficult to handle – anymore." Sara protested.

"No, you're not."

"Not if you know how to handle you." Jon sat next to Sara and looked at the photos. "They are old, that was the time you had less than a dozen horses, mom."

"Yeah, before we offered holidays. I had too much other things to do, no time for tourists and their need to have fun."

"You didn't have your personal slaves, like you have now."

"If you're talking about my children, I tell them all the time to take some more time for themselves, they don't listen. Especially the oldest one doesn't listen to what I say. He does only what he wants."

"Employs people without asking you."

"For example."

"Mad?"

"No, we'll need help."

"I know. This is not the right place to talk business but we've to talk about the holiday packet, you know that. Soon."

Sofia sighed. "I know. Tomorrow after dinner? When the whole family is together. It's something that effects everybody so we all should talk about it."

"We should. And now I'll take my girlfriend out of your bed into my bed. You had her for a week, I want her back."

"What a shame, it was so much fun to share a bed with Sara. I really enjoyed having her in my arms the last night, feeling her skin on my…ouch! Don't slap your mother! You'll go to hell for that!"

"That's alright I'll meet a lot of people I know there. Besides, you deserved it."

"Sara?"

"Sorry, why do you have to tease him, I can't blame him for slapping you. Stop telling him lies, stop teasing him and he'll leave you alone."

"I need some payback for employing people without asking."

"No need for payback when you're happy and you are happy that Rob is here." Sara got out of the bed. "You should invite him to look at some photos. Maybe he will join you in your bed too and I promise, Jon won't get him out of there. You can keep Rob the whole night if you like."

"You're against me!"

"No I'm for you and my boyfriend. Sleep tight, Sofia."

"Night mom."

"Night son, night Sara. Keep your hands on the blanket."

"I keep them on Sara." Jon grinned, placed his arms under Sara and lifted her. "Carrying the bride over the threshold. I might need that soon."

"Get lost! Both!"

"Your mother-in-law is a little bit grumpy sometimes but I promise, she has a good heart, dear. Give her some time to get used to us and she'll love you." Jon kissed Sara.

"I know, she pretends to be mean but she's already happy that we're in love. This bitching around is only for the protocol."

"I can still hear you two."

"Imagine how happy you might be if you hear us the whole night, mom."

"I'll shoot you both!"

"And I beg she'll get away with self-defense." Sara chuckled. It was good to be back home, she had missed the life on the ranch.


	56. Chapter 56

Cat slipped on her chair and sent an apologetic look at her mother. She had forgot the time while she was on the phone with Dan and was a little bit late.

"Now that we're complete we can start." Sofia saw no reason to tell her daughter off for being five minutes late. After a week with her mother she remembered very good how unreliable she had been as a teenager. Cat was an angel compared to Sofia.

"Like you all know, this is a meeting about the upcoming season, we'll have some changes to last year. First of all we're two more now." She looked at Sara and Rob. "And we really need your help. One issue, our biggest one, is the money. We can't buy a new horse, can barely hold the horses we have at the moment, when we don't get more money. I know the easiest way is to get more people on the farm, you all know I'm not that happy with this idea. This is our home, I want us all to have some privacy, with fifty people poking around in every corner, there won't be any private life left."

"We need at least to double the amount of people we had the last two years." Jon said. "Means minimum is twenty, better would be twenty-five, thirty would be best."

"We can handle thirty." Jamie agreed.

"Stop! If we get more guests and you're all fine with that, there is one condition I won't make any compromises on: Jamie and Cat will take all the time they need for their study. I don't want one of you getting bad marks because you had no time to learn. Cat is in school anyway, I don't want her out of her room before six, after homework and studying. Jamie, you won't come down before it's time to prepare lunch. I want you to have the whole morning for your college courses. And at least two afternoons per week too."

"Mom, I…"

"No Jamie. You need time for your study, you're a good student but it will get more and more difficult with every week. Don't risk your diploma for some snacks and dirty bungalows. Your study is more important. No compromises on that. And if you're mad at me and sit in your room reading a comic or watch TV, I don't care, but you won't help in this time. Am I clear?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"What about my afternoon rides?" Cat asked.

"When you have a slow week, no tests and not a lot homework, you can guide a group, same with the weekend. But if there are tests coming up, I want you to learn. We'll cope."

"I can take over for Jamie in the morning with the bungalows and Cat's rides in the afternoon if you want." Sara offered.

"I'll help you with the bungalows and will prepare the lunch packets. Same for the breakfast for the family."

"Mom, you've enough to do with the paper work in the morning. Leave the bungalows to me and get in the office." Jon disagreed.

"The bungalows or Sara?"

"She can start on the left, I can start on the right, we won't see each other until we're done and in the middle."

"I didn't mean it like that." Sofia excused herself.

"Then don't say it like that. We know what we're doing, we know what we have to do. We'll take care of the bungalows and I'll do the afternoon rides. You will finally finish your teacher license so we can keep that money in our pocket."

"I should do that."

"Do it. You can be done by June, that's when most people come, that money will help."

"Alright. Rob, we need you…well everywhere actually. Feeding animals, checking on benches, maintaining the barn and stables. Or do prefer to have certain jobs?"

"No, I like variety."

"Perfect. Okay, guests. We're space for twelve at the moment, you say we can handle thirty. Where can leave them? Always remember, there is not a lot of money to build buildings, we have to keep the cost low."

"I like the Native American idea." Cat said. "We build some tents, like four, each for four people, that gives us sixteen more guests. Plus the twelve, we're at twenty-six."

"Means we need two more bungalows?"

"You want to make the wild west as a kind of theme?" Rob asked.

"Yeah, it looks like we're slipping into that. We had no theme until we got the idea with the tents, Sara got it. I mean, we're on a ranch, wild west is something most people think of when they come here."

"What do you think of a little fort? As another theme and a place for people to sleep. You can also get the bathrooms in there, you will need for the tents."

"Sounds really good, unique what attracts more people, but you forgot the little money problem. We can't afford many builder."

"How good are you with your hands, Jon?"

"Depends on what I've to do."

"Building a fort."

"Do you have any clue how to build a fort? Plus the bathrooms?"

"Well I can build a fort, did that as a child, a small one at least. We can use one side of the barn…"

"No!" Sofia stopped him. "As much as I appreciate your ability of saving money, if you want to build this fort, it won't be connected to the barn. If there's a fire, it will reach the barn immediately. Get it at least twenty yards away from the barn, you never know who you have in your rooms."

"Understandable. Alright, we build a building with six single rooms, that way you can take the bungalows as double or family rooms. Three rooms can be one side of the fort, the other three are the second side. The bathroom for the tents are side three and the fourth side is the side for the gate. If we build a barbeque area in the middle of the fort, we've a perfect place for the dinner. Sheltered from the wind and we might even find some ways to keep the sitting area dry with a roof you can fold…like a huge awning."

"You are full of ideas." Jamie said half amused half doubtfully. "Do you have any idea how much these ideas will cost?"

"I can make a list with things we need. Do you have a cheap electrician here? People for the bathrooms?"

"I don't know if they're cheap, but we have some people who can do things like that, yes."

"Well, let them tell you what they want, I know some guys who'll come down from Alaska to work in the south, we might get them to do it for less money. I'm not a skilled builder, but with some help I'll get us the fort."

"What do you think about a fort?" Sofia looked at her children and Sara.

"I like the idea. I doubt any other farm has it's own fort, it can get more guests to us." Cat said.

"We'd have a good barbeque area, finally." Jamie agreed. "The other one is useless when it's raining."

"Bungalows cost a lot of money too, we need accommodations for guests, why not build something special. I mean, Vegas does the same and is very successful with that. I think it's a good idea and maybe be can work a little bit on the bungalows too, make them look like an old western town. You know, make some signs like 'Hotel', 'Salon' or 'Post' over the doors, that's funnier than saying, I live in number three."

"Good idea." Jon agreed. "Brings us to the next problem: horses. We've a dozen horses for guests. With thirty people here there'll be a problem."

"Three of the mustangs can be riding horses, we need to get down to here, they have to get used to riders again. Our old racing horses are fit enough for some beginner. Walk, a trot and a short canter is alright with them. But we still need some more horses, yes. If we agree on not more than twenty-six adults and four children, we've enough ponies. Two can have a day off while the rest is out with the guests.

Twelve horses are down here, we get the three mustangs and let's say eight racing horses. These eleven can stay here, be the horses for the riding lessons. Makes twenty-three…"

"I'm busy with school, you can take Espérance for the guests."

"She's your horse, Cat."

"Like I said, I'm busy with school, take her. At least when one of the other horses needs a break."

"Same with Libertad. You can use him too." Jamie offered.

"Xin isn't suitable for guest, he is too much into galloping."

"I'd offer Fortuna…"

"She isn't ready as a riding horse, you go on training her, this way you can use her for the short rides before you might be able to take her for an overnight ride in the summer." Sofia disapproved. "Looks like we need three more horses, there's an auction next month. If we find something suitable we'll buy this horse, otherwise I think we've enough time. First we need the tents and the fort before we can buy horses."

"Where do you want the tents and the fort?" Jamie asked his mother.

"The fort next to the bungalows, the tents on the other side. This way they've the bathrooms right next to the tents. There's a hell lot of work coming up."

"We'll handle it." Jon said. "Rob, when you start planning the fort I'll take care of the tents. I'll have a look in the internet how much these tents are. And then I'll get some lockers for the tents. This way people can make sure their valuables are safe."

"Alright, you do that. Jamie and Cat will start with the school/college thing tomorrow morning. Sara, do you have time to go on the hills with me? We'll take Kirundi and Caza, check on the benches, get some horses down. You can use your skills on the lasso."

"Oh dear, we'll spend the whole night up there." Sara doubted she could catch a running target.

"They shouldn't be that wild that they'll run away. We fed them every day, they'll come to us or won't run at least."

"Okay, what do you want to start?"

"As early as possible so that we can check at least two meadows."

"What I wanted to ask you about the meadows, Sofia." Rob started. "You said you ran low on provender this year."

"Yes."

"Why don't you use some of the meadows to make hay? Jon showed me the area you've up there, it's huge. When you divide it in four areas, you can have the horses on one, keep three for hay, harvest the first meadow, give it a few days, let the horses you this one and the one they were one, harvest the second, close the meadow the horses were on at the beginning and go on like this. This way you should be able to harvest all four meadows three or four times this year and have hay for a few weeks. They won't be hungry, they've plenty of grass by being on one meadow. The only downside is, they don't have so much space, but I think a meadow with sixty acres will be enough for a dozen horses."

"We don't have the machines and we can't afford to buy them."

"We can borrow them. When we get them for a whole day we've plenty of time to harvest a meadow or we wait and harvest two. I can drive these machines, so that won't be a problem. Cut it, pack it into bales and we keep them behind the barn. The perfect way to feed the horses in winter."

"That means we have to divide the meadow."

"Yes. Poles and electric fences are the easiest way to do that. A battery."

"Oh god, all these work. I'll have nightmares tonight." Sofia buried her face in her hands. This sounded like she needed another dozen people a million dollar to make all these idea come true.

"Get Pat in your bed, he'll take care of you." Jamie suggested with a grin. He knew how much his little brother loved to spend the night in the bed of his mother. But all little children did that, didn't they?


	57. Chapter 57

**April**

"I don't want to get up." Sara snuggled into Jon's arms.

"Neither do I. Shall we lock the door and pretend we're not here?"

"Oh yes!" That was a good idea. Sara missed staying a morning in bed, she couldn't remember the last time she and Jon did that. Did they ever do that? Or was their life an endless circle of work, sleep and eat?

"Mom will get an ax and get us out of here within five minutes."

"I give her less than five when she figured out what we have in mind."

"Probably. Four bungalows to clean, one to prepare. Do you want some help?"

"No, I'll be fine. You go on working on the fort with Rob." The two man had managed within a month to build the six single rooms, the bathrooms and the gate. At least the exterior walls and roofs were ready, they had to work on the inside, get a floor in all rooms, the interior walls, doors and furniture. For that they had less than two weeks, then friends of Rob would come over for four days, working on the electronic, the pipes and all the other things neither Rob or Jon had a clue of.

When that was done, they had to build up the tents. Jon found four tents in the internet, each big enough for five adults, what gave him space for the locker and should make four people feel comfortable.

"This project gives me hardly time with you."

"It gives you hardly time with your son too."

"Tell me about it. I mean, he loves watching us, but I feel guilty because I've no time to play with him. You have to do that."

"I like playing with him, you know that. And he doesn't mind spending time with me."

"He still adores you."

"Of course. I built a tunnel for the railroad. You've no idea how often bad guys try to capture the train in there and the brave sheriff and his deputy have to be and rescue the people and the train. There're dramas every night in the house while you build a fort."

"I'll try to finish early today and spend an hour with them."

"I've a better idea. You go on building and on Friday we take Pat and Kieran to the swimming pool. Kieran wants to learn how to swim this year we can give him his first lesson. And it gets them and you away from the ranch. I'm sure you're happy to see something else for a change."

"I like the idea of seeing you in a swimsuit."

"You are that easy to please?"

"I hope I can take off that swimsuit of you later."

"In the pool?"

"At home."

"I won't wear it here anymore you've to take off whatever I'll wear."

"I can make a compromise if I have to. As long as I get you naked in my bed…our bed."

"Yeah, why did you make the room downstairs so good again? I'm never in there anyway." Sara kissed his shoulder and let her finger run through his long hair, twisting the end a bit.

"I didn't dare to dream you'd change your bed for mine nor that you'd leave your husband and come to me. As much as mom told me about him, he isn't like me so I saw no reason why you would fall for me."

"Because you're not like him. It was the old Grissom I fell in love with, the new one only disappointed me."

"Lucky me he made the decision to be a new person. Otherwise I had no chance to get you, you would be in Vegas, probably had never showed up because you hated mom…"

"I didn't hate Sofia."

"You didn't like her."

"I didn't dislike her."

"You weren't friends."

"That's more true. She tried to hit on Grissom, that made me mad. After that was out of the way we went on better. Not as good as we do here, but better."

"You were nicer when you came here last summer. Something must have made mom to order you in the house. What did you do to her?"

"Nothing. I was stunned to see her, she knew I was coming here and used this to get me off guard. After a second or two I thought it's nice to have a familiar face around, we started our conversation without bitching around, what was good for us, talked a bit, she offered me a ride on Kirundi and…"

"As soon as she made that she had made the decision you're not a bitch anymore."

"What do you mean with 'not a bitch anymore'?"

"You were a bitch before. Don't try to deny it."

"Only the first time…we really worked good together when she became a detective. I think I worked most of my cases with her. She saved my life when I was lost in the desert."

"She told me about that. I'm glad nothing worse happened to you."

"Thanks to Sofia and Nick who found me. She left Vegas after that, I never had the chance to say thank you or goodbye." Sara thought about that. Sofia had vanished without a word. No explanation, nothing.

"She didn't expect that, she did her job. I think she was accusing herself for having you in that situation. Her CSI wasn't safe anymore, she hadn't taken care of you."

"She wasn't working with me at a scene when Natalie got me." Sara hated to think back, this night haunted her sometimes in her dreams, she was always happy when she woke up and realized, she was in bed and not under the car.

"Doesn't matter, she has to take care of her CSI. Like she does it now."

"As long as the CSI isn't too close to her son."

"Well, sometimes the mother is stronger than the friend and the detective." Jon laughed. After all these months his mother still reacted weird when he and Sara were too close for Sofia's taste. She told them to stay apart, behave and to spend the night in separate bedrooms. Not that she really thought they would do what she said.

* * *

"Mom?" Patrick came to Sofia's office, where she was sitting over a few bills.

"Yes Pat?"

"Wanna play."

"Pat, I've to…" She stopped. How often had she played with her son the last days? Not once. She had no time for him, she was busy with the paper work or with the animals. She saw her son for breakfast, dinner and when she said good night to him.

"Okay…" Disappointed he wanted to go. He didn't even try to change her mind like other children would do. He gave up on her.

"Hey, wait." To hell with paper work, it would still here tomorrow morning when he was in kindergarten. "Come here."

Slowly he came to her. Sofia took him in her arms, hugged and kissed him.

"I'm sorry, I'm a bad mother. I could tell you there's so much work, but that's no excuse. You are more important than work. I love you so much." Now she had to fight tears.

"Mom busy."

"Yes I am but that doesn't matter. You know what? I've an idea." She got up with him in her arms, left the office and walked to his room. She had to spend time with her youngest child, it was hard enough that she had not enough time for her other children, but they were old enough to understand, Pat was too young to understand how much work was on their shoulders, he didn't understand that they had to earn money, that they needed to cut off some private time, all he understood was, he wasn't important enough for his mother.

"You put on your winter pants, a pullover and a thick jumper."

"Why?"

"You'll see." She helped him changing from his pajama into thick clothes. It was after seven, he was suppose to go to bed soon.

"Now we get my jumper." Again with him on her arms she walked to her room, put on her jumper and left the house.

"Where are we going, mom?"

"To Kirundi." She whistled and her horse appeared on the bench. Sofia opened the gate and let Kirundi out.

"Hold on to her mane." Sofia placed Pat on the bare back of her horse. When she was sure her son held on the mane of the horse, she used the bench to get on her horse to. Immediately she pulled her arms around Pat and signed to Kirundi to start walking.

"We'll have a moonlight ride now."

"Like sheriff?"

"Yes like a sheriff. We'll make sure everything is alright and the ranch is safe."

"We kick asses."

Sofia had to bit her lips not to laugh. Patrick was cute but if he said that in kindergarten she was likely to get a phone call from one of his teacher, complaining about the words he used. He wasn't aloud to say 'ass' there.

"You mean backsides, don't you, Honey?"

"No."

"Yes you do or you'll be in trouble with your teacher. You know she doesn't like you to say words like that. Be a good boy, can you be that?"

"Yes mom."

"Good. We don't want trouble only because your teacher has no idea of police work."

"Police kicks asses."

"Pat?"

"Butts."

"Good boy." She smiled. Maybe he heard her and her mother talking too often. Slowly they let Kirundi walk over the ranch, from the barn around the bungalows, along the fort.

"Wanna play fort."

"They haven't finished it. I know it looks like it's finished but it isn't. Your brother and Rob have to work a little bit more in there. Has Jon taken you in there tonight?"

"Yes."

"Then you know it's not finished. Would you like to sleep there for a night when the rooms are done?"

"Yes. Mom too."

"I'll be with you in there. You can close the gate in the evening so that we're safe."

"Yes!"

"And do you also want to sleep in the Native American tents?"

"Yes!"

Sofia smiled. She knew her son would like that. He was a little boy, all little boys loved to play wild west and with the fort and the tents they had the perfect playground.

"We'll do that when everything is done, until then we've to wait. You know it's very dangerous to play in areas where other people are working. You can't go in the fort alone, can you promise me that?"

"With you."

"Yes you can go in there with me or Jon, but not alone. I don't want you to get hurt. Or do you want to sleep in hospital instead of the fort?"

"No. No hospital."

"Thought so." Sofia signed Kirundi to go back to the other horses. In front of the bench, she slipped down her horse, got Patrick down in her arms and let Kirundi go back on the meadow. With a slice of carrot she thanked Kirundi for the little ride and wished her nice dreams for the night. With Pat snuggling in her arms she walked back to the house.

"Where have you been?" Cat asked when she saw her mother and her little brother coming in the house.

"We made sure the ranch is safe." Sofia smiled.

"Had a ride."

"You had a ride? In the darkness?"

"Yeah."

"Kirundi took us around the ranch, we made sure you'll sleep safe this night and nobody sneaks around."

"Pat is the sheriff?"

"Mom sheriff."

"You're my little helper." Sofia kissed her son. Now he was ready to go to bed and she had time for her bills again. But she felt more like keeping Pat a little bit longer in her arms and maybe to fall asleep with him in her arms. Family was more important than work.


	58. Chapter 58

She kept her own promise and took more time for her youngest child. Sofia had taken Pat into the fort, Jon and Rob had finished with their work, Rob's friends had worked the last four days on the electric cables, the six rooms were ready to decorate. Last night she and Pat had shared the first bed in a room, she had made Pat to 'The Sheriff of Fort Curtis', what made her son very proud.

Now she was in one of the rooms, building up a table and a nightstand while Pat was with Kieran and Sara in the house. They played cinema, Sara had made her room dark, got a lot of popcorn and they were watching the second Disney movie by now. Like Sofia she thought they had to spend more time with the young boys.

"You should take a break every now and then." Rob came in with a two bottles of beer and two wrapped round things. He threw one to Sofia.

"What's that?"

"Dinner to go."

"I had dinner…kind of."

"According to Jamie you stole an apple, took a bagel and left the kitchen before he could tell you off."

"Any evidence that supports his statement?"

"Beside that we all know and you and know it's true? No."

"So what's that?"

"A burger. I stopped at the fast food shop on 2nd street and got us a burger and a bottle of beer."

"I hope that means you're off work now."

"Yeah." He had brought his friends to the train, they would go south to their summer jobs.

"Good. Thanks." She unwrapped the burger. "Oh." A huge smile appeared on her face. The sauce was running out of the burger, she saw double meat and double cheese. This burger was absolutely unhealthy and she loved it for that.

"I told the guy to add every unhealthy and fatty thing twice."

"Perfect idea. Jamie would kill me for this burger."

"That's why I brought it in here and not in the house. He'll smell it and kill us both. I think every now and then you need something unhealthy."

"I do. Lovely fatty food."

"Do I get a boost in pay for that?" Rob laughed.

"You do deserve it." Sofia sighed. Rob deserved much more money than she could offer him. He had worked so much and she knew, he hadn't written down most of the hours he had worked.

"I have to transfer some money on your account, you worked so much the last couple of week and I'm afraid the week I was in Vegas was the slowest week for you."

"There'll be slower weeks."

"Yeah…in fall…early winter…"

"Don't worry about me and my money, I've everything I need. There's enough money for two burgers and two beers."

"If not you can get more beer out of the fridge, just help yourself." Rob lived in the room next to Sara's room, in the house, next to the kitchen, there was no problem for him to help himself from the fridge.

"One for knocking off time."

"One for the last break."

"You should knock off too."

"I want to finish this. The sooner we can give the rooms free the sooner we get money for them. I promised my accountant to bring him some money instead of asking for more and more." That reminded her that she hadn't paid Sara in weeks. She had to do that too.

"Do you have a date you want to have this all done?"

"Cat had found over four dozen web pages we can put our ranch on and advertise for holidays with horses. I took photos of the fort today, of the tents and the ranch. I want to take some photos of the rooms tomorrow and start to get our information details on the first pages. You know if we get around twenty people in here ASAP it will give us some money for new horses and my accountant a good night sleep. He sleeps well means I sleep well too."

"You share a bed with him?"

"God, no!" Sofia laughed. "I'll never be that desperate. He's over sixty and….not my kind of man."

"Who is your kind of man? Which Hollywood star would be your pick?"

"A Hollywood star? I liked Paul Walker in 'The fast and the furious' or Joaquin Phoenix."

"So you like the young men. Not the 'older' stars, Tom Cruise, Richard Gere and Sean Connery?"

"Twenty years ago Richard Gere was hot, Tom Cruise…too small and Sean Connery? We've to go the first 'James Bond' movies to see him sexy."

"Younger men. Like I said."

"Something for the eye. Men always get younger women and nobody cares."

"Jon doesn't."

"No."

"And you care about that."

"He's involved with my best friend, a break-up would get me in a very bad position. I don't mind them together as long as they're happy. Sara didn't pick Jon because he's young and she wanted somebody young and I don't think Jon will leave Sara because she's too old for him one day."

"It doesn't look to me like they think much about the age gap."

"No, they don't."

"They concentrate on their feelings, on their personalities, that's what important. And Sara looks pretty good for her age."

"If start to hit on my son's girlfriend I'll kick you off the ranch."

"I won't, don't worry. I'm not into brunettes."

"Not?"

"No. And I don't hit on women in a relationship. Too much self-respect."

"Most people forget that when they see something they want."

"Most people are idiots."

Sofia started laughing.

"What?"

"You just sounded like Sara, that could be a Sara quote. Little meany, anti-social bitch."

"Doesn't sound like Sara."

"Not like the Sara now."

"I've to spend more time with her, it sounds like there are a few interesting stories waiting to be told."

"Definitely."

"What about your stories, Sofia?"

"Mine? There are no stories."

"Adopting three kids, having a forth one and living on a ranch, that saves mustangs and old racing horses, isn't worth a story?"

"That is the story."

"Really?"

"Yes. What about you? Living in two states, traveling around, not settled down, why are you doing that? Running away from something?"

"Why do people always think I'm running away? Maybe I'm running toward something."

"Do you? To what?"

"A place I feel comfortable."

"How has this place to be?"

"I don't like cities, I need a place where I can use my hands and my head and freedom. Nothing is worse than being chained to something. These poor people living in an office, can't leave this one room the whole day, living in there every day, barely enough space to move, that isn't a life. I need freedom, I need to see different things. And people. I don't want to communicate with people only by phone, I want to see them face to face."

"Sounds like this place is almost like the place you want to be. That gives me hope you'll stay a little bit longer." Sofia scrunched her paper up and took a last sip out of her bottle of beer. That was a good dinner.

"I don't plan to leave any time soon." Rob took a board of the nightstand. "You go on with the table, I finish the nightstand?"

"Alright." Sofia smiled. Working together was not only faster but also more fun.

"How far are you with your riding instructor license? "

"The final tests are next week, if I pass them I can start working as a riding instructor in May. Just when the busy season starts."

"Any bookings?"

"Yeah, the bungalows are full until the end of September. Looks like we get famous and people want to spend their holidays here. I've some booking for the tents and a few for the rooms. We need at least two rooms from the first of May. Three tents are full from the middle of May, with two people each."

"Why not four?"

"They wanted double rooms. We don't have enough horses right now to have all beds booked, it's alright when we have only twenty guests."

"And you don't like so many people around anyway."

Sofia sighed. "No, but that doesn't matter. We need the people to keep our work going on. I prefer to have people around and save horses than being alone and know that horses have to die because some people think only about their profit."

"Money rules the world."

"Poor world." Sofia turned the table. Done. The table wasn't the most solid table she had ever seen but it was alright, would do the job. Nobody was suppose to stay the whole day in the room, sit at the table and read or whatever. It was there to have some breakfast, a snack, write a postcard and that's it.

"With a lot of money we could design everything like it was two hundred years ago, like in a real fort." Rob placed the nightstand next to the bed.

"We don't have that money and even if we had, we would use it for something else, more sensitive, like new horses. We're not a fancy farm, we're…old fashioned."

"Unique."

"That's too. Especially with this fort."

"Everybody can build a fort like this but nobody will have this special riding instructor."

"I'm sure there're better riding instructors.

"Like whom?"

"Robert Redford in 'The horse whisperer'." Sofia smiled.

"So now it's Robert Redford? Does pretty far away from your young men you had in your mind first."

"You asked for a good riding instructor not a good looking guy."

"What is more important?"

"Both. And I've both."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I've got me as a good riding instructor and I've you as a good looking guy. Am I not lucky?"

"Are you?" He stepped closer to her, stroke her back.

Sofia knew she could play this game, she could go on playing it without any problems, but she was sick and tired of playing and pretending things, that weren't real. She turned, grabbed his collar and pulled his head to hers. Hungry lips met other hungry lips and before she could start to think again she was lost in a long kiss.

The thing her children had talked of since Christmas, her and Rob, the tensions. Yes, there had been tensions, already around Christmas, but he was a guest, a person who would be gone after a week. Sofia didn't want to give in for something that seemed to have no future. Then he was back, started to work for her. She couldn't give in when he was working for her. That was what she was telling herself. What if he changed his mind and left with his friends? Maybe this job wasn't what he wanted to go and he was buried in work right from the beginning. Some people got sick of this very fast.

He stayed, he said goodbye to his friends and stayed. He seemed to be happy here. There was nothing that suggest Sofia that Rob wanted to leave any time soon. And right now she didn't want to think what was best for the ranch, right now she wanted to think what was best for her and that were Rob's lips on hers. His hands on her back, her hands moving under his shirt, pulling it off his body. Right now she wanted nothing else than Rob.


	59. Chapter 59

Sofia watched Sara for a few seconds. The brunette was on her knees, cleaning the bottom of the shower in a bungalow, listening to her mp3 player and singing quietly with the music. An old tone of the Rolling Stones.

When Sara turned to get another cloth she saw Sofia and got scared for a second. She got the earplugs out of her ears.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Since when are you there?"

"Less than a minute." Sofia leant on the wall and let herself slip down. She got two bars of chocolate out of her pocket and offered one Sara.

"Have a break, have a kitkat."

"Thanks." Sara smiled, washed her hands and took the bar. "Chocolate as a second breakfast. Usually chocolate is something you need when you've a bad day, knowing you, chocolate is something you can eat every day without a reason."

"Brown gold. Refined with caramel."

"What do we celebrate?"

"Are you sure it's a celebration? Not something to take comfort."

"No." Sara looked at Sofia and smiled wider.

"What?"

"Oh Sofia." Sara slipped next to Sofia, got her arm around the blonde and grinned.

"What?"

"I might be nothing more than a cleaner at the moment. But that doesn't mean I've lost all my skills as a investigator. I can see the way you smile, the way your eyes shine, you had a very satisfying night. Not work related, or lets say it's kind of work related, the reason works for you."

"Are you hinting something?"

"No."

"Do you have any evidence?"

"Eyewitness."

"We both know they're not that reliable."

"This one was a CSI for years. She saw a young man leaving your room around five o'clock in the morning. Dressed in nothing more than a boxer short."

"What the hell is this CSI doing outside her bed at five in the morning?"

"She took care of a little boy with an upset stomach. Kieran ate something that his stomach didn't like. I spent the night in his room to give Jon some sleep."

"Is Kieran alright? Did you bring him to the doctor?" Sofia hadn't been at the breakfast table, she had no idea if Kieran had been there or was still in bed. She went from her bedroom straight to the office.

"He's in bed, we told him he can stay at home, if it gets worse we'll bring him to the doctor later. I think he'll be alright tomorrow."

"No wonder he sees a mother in you. You love his father and you take care of him when he's sick. Like a real mother."

"He doesn't need a mother, he needs people who love him and are there for him. No matter if they're like a mother for him, all that counts is, that this people are reliable. That's what I missed when I was young. There was nobody who cared for me. It should be the parents who do that, I wouldn't have mind if a neighbor or a relative had done that."

"He knows he can rely on you or anybody else here. But you're right, we've to show that to the babies. I try to spend more time with Pat, I think I wasn't a good mother the last weeks because there was too much work."

"Camping with him in the fort and the tents was something he really loved."

"I made some points with that."

"Like you scored last night." Sara got back to the topic they had lost out of their eyes.

Sofia simply smiled.

"What took you so long? He's here for weeks…he was here Christmas."

"Maybe his shower was broken and he asked if he could take a shower in my bathroom."

"Sure. At five in the morning." Sara took Sofia in her arms. "I'm glad you're happy." She whispered in the blonde's ear. "I think he came back because of you."

"He came here because of the work, because he can work here year around."

"He had a winter job in Alaska, there was no need to change jobs. He was busy ten months a year, two months for holidays, I think that was a pretty good life."

"Don't make me feel guilty. Do you have any idea how much overtime he has accumulated? I owe him a fortune. Same with you, I haven't paid you in weeks. Shall I just overwrite you half of the ranch?"

"No." Sara laughed. "I'm fine, I've everything I need. Give your money to the accountant, he'll be happy to get it."

"That won't pay my debt to you."

"I might let you pay in another way than money." Sara smirked.

"That sounds like we'll have a date in a motel room soon."

"Does it?"

"At least in movies when women have to pay for something in another currency than money they end up on their back or knees in a motel room."

"I promise I won't make you go down on your knees or lay on your back. I'll ask for something more valuable."

"If you want to ask for the hand of my son…"

"That won't happen, he's twenty-two, he doesn't need your approve."

"Of course he does, he's my son."

"We would have it anyway." Sara grinned.

"What makes you that sure?"

"You want somebody who makes your son happy. That's me. And you want somebody who loves your grand…rookie. That's me again."

"Your point. So what do you want? If it's not the ranch, not my body and not son, what can be important for you?"

"Time with you."

"Time with me? You mean time with Jon."

"I spend time with Jon, it's you, who's always too busy. I'd like to have an overnight ride with you, without guests. Only the two of us, Kirundi and Fortuna. Maybe in summer, when Cat and Jamie have time and Cat's friends are around."

"You get this trip and your money."

"Sofia…"

"No, Sara. You work hard, you deserve the money. If you don't want it now that's fine, I'm thankful for that and use it for something else. But I'll write you a debt obligation…don't try to change my mind on that. You can give me low interest rates if you want to do me a favor."

"Something like a dinner together once a month?"

"If you let me pay."

"Deal."

"Good."

"And now tell me what I want to know."

"There'll be salad for lunch."

"Sofia!"

"What?"

"You and Rob. I can imagine what happened in your room but how did it come to that?"

"It was too cold in the fort."

"The fort?"

"Yeah, I worked on the table and the nightstand when Rob came along, brought me a very fatty hamburger and a beer, we had to eat in the fort because Jamie would kill me if I eat something like that in the house.

Rob offered me his help, we talked and well, at one point I thought I don't want to hold back anymore, I don't want to think all the reasons why I shouldn't give in and gave in. I don't regret it, his hands are wonderful and his tongue…I won't go into details."

"Better not." Sara laughed.

"After it got too cold in the fort we changed to my room where he left at five. We thought this way nobody will notice that he was with me the whole night. I prefer to tell the children than letting them find out. Have you told Jon that you saw Rob coming out of my room?"

"No, that's your business."

"Thanks. I've to talk to Rob later, I'd like to tell them tonight."

"They'll be happy for you."

"Hopefully."

"Or they'll ask what you want from such a young man. He's how much younger than you?"

"The age gap between Rob and me is less than between you and Jon. Not even half of yours."

"Five years."

"Yes. Nobody would mind if he would be forty-two, five years older."

"Nobody here will mind that it's the other way around."

"I know. And we don't care about the rest. I wonder when Cat will bring a younger boy home."

"After Dan?"

"Yeah…I'm surprised they're still a couple, they had some fights the last weeks, he hasn't visit her in two months, she hadn't been over to see him, I'm afraid they'll break up soon."

"It's the age of breaking up fast."

"I never got out of that phase."

"You can change that now."

"I'll try. Got a hottie right now, I should keep him. And make all young women leave. We'll only take guests over fifty from now on; female guests. Male guests can be younger."

"Sounds good to me. Mom."

"Don't do that, Sara." Sofia got Sara closer in her arms and pinched her.

"Ouch."

"You dared me."

"I trusted you when you took me in your arms."

"Don't dare me."

"You know, one day, if Jon and me are together for a long, long time, it could happen that we get married. Right now I'm sick of being married after this disaster but you never know if I won't change my mind one day."

"Like you might be a mom one day. A mother with your own child."

"A second rookie? You never know…although I think I'm too old for that."

"You're forty, you've some time left to be a mom. It might not be the best age for the first child but there shouldn't be any bigger problem."

"We'll think about that in two years or so. Or when you get your fifth child."

"I think four are enough."

"No little Rob?"

"Not at the moment. I've barely time for the four I have."

"There'll be better times. When you'll have thirty guests almost year around you'll have enough money to employ some more people"

"We, Sara. We."

"We?"

"When we have thirty guests. You should know by now that this isn't my ranch, it's our home. You live here like I do, this is your place too. Our home, we have to handle the guests and live with them."

"Alright, we." Sara placed her head on Sofia's shoulder. "I should go on cleaning, my boss might see me sitting around, doing nothing. And the guests will be back from their riding lesson soon."

"Yeah, move your nice ass before your boss sees you. I'll start in the bedroom."

"You give me a hand?"

"Yes. I finished my office work, I can work with you."

"Nice." Sara smiled, got up and offered her hand to Sofia.

"Thanks."

"Time to get started, boss."

"Yes, slave. On your knees and clean the bathroom."

"Yes, Ma'am." Sara blinked at Sofia and got her cleaning cloth. They had to hurry a bit to be done with everything before the guests were back. But if Sofia stayed with her for the rest of the bungalows, they should finish in time.

* * *

Sara found Sofia in the kitchen, repairing the light.

"I've the perfect idea how you can make up to me that you haven't paid me in two months." She caught the blonde who lost her balance for a second when Sara surprised her. Sofia almost fell down the chair.

"Don't use chairs to reach high things, there are little ladders in the corner."

"Waste of time. Nobody is expected to surprise me like this."

"I like to do the unexpected things." Sara offered her hand to help Sofia down the chair.

"Thanks." The blonde switched the light on and was satisfied when the room was bright again. She knew she could repair something like this alone, she wasn't stupid.

"You're an electrician."

"I'm talented. Coffee?" She had deserved some coffee and so had Sara for keeping her balance steady instead of letting her fall down the chair.

"Why not."

"So tell me, how can I make up to you? How can I pay you without giving you money? And without going to a motel room?" Sofia added with a smirk.

"I thought about the motel room offer again…"

"You missed your chance on that, honey."

"Bugger." Sara took her mug of coffee and smiled. "I thought I send Jon away with Kieran and have a nice night with you. In that case you need to pay me Sofia. For all the last months plus interest."

"Selling my body versus becoming bankrupt…having sex with a beautiful brunette versus losing my ranch, betraying my son and my boyfriend versus keeping a lot of money for the future and dreams. Decisions, decisions…what do you expect me to do in the motel room?"

"Everything I ask for."

"Being the slave of a possible pervert versus being homeless woman under a bridge…sorry Sara, I keep some dignity and move under a bridge and leave the ranch to you."

"You broke my heart."

"I doubt you have one after you tried to force me to have sex with you."

"She did what?" Cat came in the room. She had finished her homework and wanted to feed the animals when she heard the last words of her mother.

"We're just kidding around, Love." Sofia told Cat with a laugh. "I own Sara a lot of money and she said I can pay her without money. Most times it means you get forced to have sex with the one you own money. I was wondering what is worse, having sex with Sara or being homeless under a bridge."

"She took the bridge." Sara was a little bit indignant.

"Because I've a boyfriend you're the girlfriend of my son. Otherwise there had been no need to think about it, we had hit the sheets, baby. I'm sure it's quite interesting to have a hot-blooded brunette next to me."

"Cat, you should cover your ears with something." Sara suggested.

"I should call a shrink for mom. Can I leave the two of you alone or do I need to stay here and make sure nothing will happen?"

"Take care of the animals, we'll be fine and well behaved."

"You better are." Cat shook her head and left.

"She'll be wondering why she isn't suppose to have fun while you think about it."

"She's not to suppose to sleep around I don't think about it, Miss Sidle."

"I wasn't talking about sleeping around, I was talking about sleeping with me."

"I'll never do that. There's a line and I won't cross that line. Not even for money."

"You make me feel bad, unlovable and not very attractive."

"I make you feel like you're my daughter-in-law. Stay with my son and don't you dare to look for anybody else. I'll shoot you and whoever is with you. Without warning."

"I love you, Sofia." Sara hugged Sofia and caught totally off guard.

"What?"

"You called me your daughter-in-law, you finally accepted Jon's and my relationship. That was the nicest thing you have said to me in weeks."

"I told you I'll kill you and you're happy, crazy woman." Sofia smiled. Of course she accepted the relationship of her friend and her son, even if she not always showed it that obvious. She had told them both a few times, she was glad they were happy.

"Will you tell me what you have in mind? Instead of money."

"Greg will have a week off soon. You give him a week full of ranch life and I'll forget you owe me any money."

"Are you kidding me again?"

"No, I'm serious."

"It's Greg, I won't take any money from or for him. I'm sure he'll help out as soon as he's here. Find something else to make me forget I owe you money."

"In that case, thanks, we're back with the motel room…"

"Yeah I guess it will be a HOTEL room. I'll invite you to a holiday trip…as soon as we've some time on our hands. Where would you like to go to?"

"Somewhere quiet and romantic, where we have a lot of time for ourselves."

"Stop it right there, don't overdo your flirting."

"Scared?"

"Horrified."

"Cute." Sara put her mug away, stood up and sat on Sofia's lap, embracing her with her arms around the blondes neck. "What do you think of a trip with Kirundi and Fortuna instead of a flight to a city? I've to say I don't miss the rush of the cities anymore. Feeling tiny next to a tree is nicer than feeling tiny next to a skyscraper." She laid her head on Sofia's shoulder.

"A long weekend in Yellowstone? With the horses?"

"Sounds wonderful to me. We leave the work to the men and have some nice time."

"They will miss us."

"They'll miss us double. They'll be lonely at night and have more to do during the day."

"They can use the time at night for some housework." Sofia grinned. "Ironing at midnight, sweeping the floor at 2 a.m., things like that."

"We're mean."

"Yes we are. It feels good."

"Haven't been a bitch for a while, have you?"

"No." Sara laughed. "And you missed it."

"Barely." Sofia put her arm around Sara. Wasn't she a lucky woman to have all these wonderful people in her life?

THE END

Thanks for reading and reviewing :-)


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